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Critique: Honesty Appreciated


Naughty Pon
Please be gentle.

Asa was bummed, but her hormones didn't care, still firing into overdrive. Since he was a dragon, he had an animal magnetism that translated to his humanoid form beautifully.

The books were brought out, each laid on a table.

Asa sighed and held her hand out to the center of the circular furniture. Her cousins, all wonderful, charming people who were her lifeline and she had always had at her side, did the same.

"Let's do this." Asa sighed, hoping for a nice stroll in Hurdenwell, where she could meet her ancestors.

"The book will pick y-," Ultyma started as the tomes flashed and vanished, only to appear before each person.

They all flipped open and the seven vanished inside.


Ultyma walked to see what book Asa had gotten. His face blanched as he saw Anthropomorphia, The Animal Kingdom, book of Sensuality scrawled on the first page.

The reason it was so concerning that any royal went in that book was exactly as she had stated in her history report… some never left it. Six had been trapped inside over the eras. Hopefully, Asa wouldn't be number seven.

Asa glanced around, unsure where she had appeared. She was in a town full of naked animal people. If that weren't odd enough, they were staring at her. "Zero of Ten, Do not recommend." She said to herself.

She looked down and saw she was also naked and an animal person, a gold one. With a yelp, she covered herself.

"I wish I could give negative numbers. This is definitely negative ten material."

She walked to a shop window and snorted. There were absolutely no clothes, but she saw her reflection.

"I'm a fucking unicorn. And not just a unicorn, I'm a tiny golden unicorn with a crooked horn. Joy of joys, I'm a fucking twisted little pony." She looked at herself dispassionately. She was a sore thumb. Her ears pinned and she glared at the male wolfman who walked by ogling her rump.

She turned and began to walk. No money. No food. Nobody she knew.

Yep, this was going to be fun.

As she walked she spotted a building that had dark windows. It was a stand-alone with alleys on each side. When she walked past the door, a male furry walked out And slammed into her, knocking her down.

He stopped and looked at her. She lay as a golden pearl in a silver oyster. Her expression said the fall had hurt but normally had a high pain tolerance.

She was looking up at him in shock.

He was struck by her eyes, such a soft silvery blue against all of that gold.

"Damn if you aren't pretty, Miss. Let me help you up."

She took his outstretched hand and was easily lifted to her feet.

"Are you okay?"

"I feel like I ran into a brick wall, but otherwise, I'm fine," Asa replied laughingly, further gobsmacking the dragon.

Quickly, Asa released his hand and turned to walk away.

"Hey, What's your name?"

The mare held up two fingers and continued on.

"Peace out, Dragonman."

Book 1:

he was a dragon man, end.