Listen carefully, I shall now recite the wisdom of the old ones on the consumption of celery.
1. Remove the celery from the fridge and cut it into small bite sized sections.
2. Next leave it on the bench (preferably in direct sunlight) and go to the shop.
3. While at the shop, buy a pie, return home.
4. Turn the oven on and cook the pie following the instructions on the back of the box.
5. Eat pie, take your time, enjoy the pie.
6. Notice celery (by now it should be warm, drying out and a bit musty…)
7. Throw celery into the bin or compost heap
8. (Opt.) Use compost to grow some vegetables with some taste to them.