I'm pretty new to it in terms of actually identifying with with the furry community and honestly, wherever I am, I have a hard time reaching out too. So I feel your pain.
I think sex/erp is very intertwined with this. There are some who don't want that at all, some only are in it for that, and many in between. I think if you observe people you'll be able to figure out where they fall on that scale? Or if you don't know, ask them? That last part is hard for me to do myself though.
As for idiocy I think that's also person by person, and certain topics prone to idiotic moments? Is there something specific that you are hoping to avoid that you are calling idiocy?