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How do you break conditioning?

Fenrari

Prince of Wolves
So yeah I haven't posted anything in a while because I haven't been on the forums in a while.

Anyway I just had a few things I wanted to pose as questions for the general community.

How do you break conditioning?

So as you may know if you followed my past rants about my family, my life, my general situation; you'll note that I've been in the shitter for the past few months. Graduating from college kinda sorta made my life significantly worse. Being homeless for a few months didn't help. Getting broken up out of a relationship definitely wasn't part of the stability vibe either. Yeah and returning to the family for help did nothing for my mood over all.

At the present I'm trying to change my personality just a little by breaking down the previous notions of negative thinking that my family has woven around me. Specifically in the past 2 months I can't believe how foolish I've been to actually allow them to make me think that I'm worthless and the following is a literal quote from my dad: "Not worthy of being called a human because you can't do anything."

So yeah how do you break patterns of negative thought?
 

Onnes

Member
There's always the cognitive approach. Identify the negative thought, identify why it is irrational or unproductive, and devise a more accurate and productive statement in its place. Obviously, this requires frequent reflection and repetition.
 

Fenrari

Prince of Wolves
I've fielded out over 600 job applications to jobs all over the country (and several in Canada). I've been to career fairs, seen career advisors broken down and talked to friends I trust on the matter.

At this point I really am next to my nil point. I have so little I can do with myself I wonder at times if it really is even worth it to continue living. At least if I'm dead my student debts get canceled.
 

Viva

Now with 90% more of 90% less
You can't. You're stuck with it forever. I'm terribly sorry.
 

Scotty1700

is bored :V
Quit going to cons and quit getting laid at said cons with people you don't know especially since you're classified as homeless, jobless, and all but disowned by your family for being a naive arse. You're refusing to let go to your past and you're trying too hard to reconnect to something that's gone. You had your chance and you blew it, now go put effort into striving forward and getting your life on track.
 

Fenrari

Prince of Wolves
Quit going to cons and quit getting laid at said cons with people you don't know especially since you're classified as homeless, jobless, and all but disowned by your family for being a naive arse. You're refusing to let go to your past and you're trying too hard to reconnect to something that's gone. You had your chance and you blew it, now go put effort into striving forward and getting your life on track.

Who's shadowboxing your account Scotty?
 

Flarei

Flarei Le Loup
I've had great benifits with meditating. I'm not asking you to become Buddhist, just sit down in silence and think neutrally about your actions and course of life. Thinking in a calm environment will help you make better decisions, as will adequate sleep (8-10 hours.) I've successfully taught a few people like this, and I also give lessons freely. If you want help, just send me a message. I'd be very happy to instruct you if you wish to try it.
 

Fenrari

Prince of Wolves
I've had great benifits with meditating. I'm not asking you to become Buddhist, just sit down in silence and think neutrally about your actions and course of life. Thinking in a calm environment will help you make better decisions, as will adequate sleep (8-10 hours.) I've successfully taught a few people like this, and I also give lessons freely. If you want help, just send me a message. I'd be very happy to instruct you if you wish to try it.

Thanks for your input. Adequate sleep isn't exactly something I can condition myself out of/into. I get anxiety attacks regularly and I sleep poorly for any number of reasons. I'll keep it in mind though.
 

DevistatedDrone

Poops in toilets.
literal quote from my dad: "Not worthy of being called a human because you can't do anything."
I was really hoping that the quote was going to be "Not worthy of being called a human because you are a furry"


So yeah how do you break patterns of negative thought?
Me? Personally?
Pot

I wouldn't recommend it, though. If you have legit anxiety attacks (not induced by stress but by a medical condition) then it might do more damage. On top of that, self medication can lead to addiction if you can't dig yourself out of your hole. But, hey, it'd make your parents think better of you :V


If you are truly desperate for work, there are two things I would recommend if you don't mind physical labor.

First would be military. If you are at your end of your rope, you're better off taking a gamble by fighting in the armed forces.
Second would be working on an oil rig. From what I hear, there's some rigs that are pretty much begging for employees. The work is laborious, however (from what I've heard)


Anyways, enjoy my bad advice.
 

Zydala

Kisses for everyone!
Keep a journal on how you're awesome. Even if it's little things, write down something cool you did everyday... like, "cooked myself dinner! heck yeah" or "followed up on the job applications today and called. on top of things!"

it's not always really easy to keep track of the things we do everyday that are positive. Writing them down helps.
 

Fenrari

Prince of Wolves
Keep a journal on how you're awesome. Even if it's little things, write down something cool you did everyday... like, "cooked myself dinner! heck yeah" or "followed up on the job applications today and called. on top of things!"

it's not always really easy to keep track of the things we do everyday that are positive. Writing them down helps.

Yeah I have a journal, I've kept one for every semester since that summer I had my cancer scare.
 

Koronikov

New Member
The way I have personally overcome negativity is to use as a drive. My brother called me weak, I made myself be stronger than him. I was called a coward, I manned up when the time came. Once you have found someone who will openly insult you as your father has, the best solution is to avoid it or ignore it. Also you may have a degree, but, there are always jobs, sometimes you have to take what you can get where ever you can and look for something in your major.

I know I am not but a stranger to you, but, I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully you can find your way
 

CerbrusNL

I am legion, for we are many.
Wash it out with a good shampoo.
 

Xipoid

Cameras
Positive reflection and mindfulness. You can read more about it in the following books:


Change your Brain; Change your Life - This one is more about the neuroscience and pathology of particular neurological disorders. It is only somewhat relevant.
Buddha's Brain - About your exact question, from the perspective of neuroscience.
Turning your Mind into an Ally - About your exact question, from the perspective of a Buddhist monk.
 
If you really are itching to do something, join the armed forces...they'll literally take care of you. That's how they thrive, after all.
 

Kitutal

cute newbie kitten
keep going, that's all you can do. when things get really hard for me, I just get more determined, I force myself to get stuff done, whatever it takes. Perhaps I go a little too far some times, get too intent on solving problems whatever I have to do. Generally the best way to make yourself feel better is to do something good with your life. You know you can, there is nothing wrong with you that stops you, plenty of other people manage it, you just have to choose the way that's right for you. Best thing when you're upset and thinking about things too much is to choose an action you can start right now and do without having to think and plan and wait before, something that can distract you from your worries. Perhaps make a list of everything you want to achieve and any time you have time to spare, choose something from the list to do.
There is a theory I have been working on, I call it the golden aspiration, you choose something you want to achieve, something far out of your reach that you know you can never actually do, then move towards that goal, see how close you can actually get to it, chances are only part of the way, but that is far better than nothing, and better than only achieving a part of a smaller goal. Also remember that if things seem now as bad as they can get, surely they must get better some time.
Is there some sort of volunteer work thing you could do, just to fill time and make you feel like you're doing something? My dad's having trouble finding a job so he volunteers for a local charity, sure he could earn a little more being unemployed, but it gives him something to do, and it would give you the experience and skills to get a real job some time.
 
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eversleep

Banned
Banned
I have a few ideas:
~An hero
~Punch your dad/kill him
...yep that's it.

Do something creative other than begging for attention on a furry forum
Aww, but this is my favorite thing to do. :c
If you really are itching to do something, join the armed forces...they'll literally take care of you. That's how they thrive, after all.
NO DO NOT FUCKING DO THIS. So many horror stories I've heard.
 

Tao

Hare Boi
Beats being homeless and doing absolutely nothing. And don't be so stupid. He could go into medical and come out with a much needed skill.

OMG ANTIARMY EVIL EVI L VILED

Or he could come back psychologically broken. Or an army fanatic that attacks everybody who doesn't like the army.
 
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