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How do you cope with the horrible things you've done?

Sugarbomb

Member
Relatively speaking, of course. Everyone has done things they regret. Even if it's not a big deal to others, it's a big deal to you. Maybe you said something socially awkward twenty years ago and it comes back to haunt you, even though the people involved have long since forgot about it. Maybe you hurt the one you loved by doing something selfish, even though you realized/apologized/made it up to them.

There's a dark cloud hanging over my head, and I can't get rid of it. I feel like all the horrible things that happen to me do it because of these things I've done in the past, even though one has nothing to do with the other. It somehow feels better if I feel like I'm being punished, like I'm atoning or evening out my karma.

How do you guys get through the dark times?

No, I'm not looking for advice. Why do you ask?
 
D

Deleted member 82554

Guest
I internalize it, then deal with it. Simple as that...
 
D

Deleted member 132067

Guest
I don't, be it what I've done (or rather, all the things I could and should have done, but didn't) or what I've witnessed. Because I can't, I need a therapist for that. Which so far, worked out better than I ever could've dreamed of.
 

Ravofox

back to Aussie foxying!
I actually constantly re-play a really rude conversation I had with a woman 4 years ago. :\

I know how you feel there. We pretty much all have done similar things.

When I was in high school I sometimes said some really stupid things, which I didn't mean at all. It will never leave me, but it comforts me to know that we all have done something like this, and and people understand that
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
I know how you feel there. We pretty much all have done similar things.

When I was in high school I sometimes said some really stupid things, which I didn't mean at all. It will never leave me, but it comforts me to know that we all have done something like this, and and people understand that

I think realising what my mistakes were there also made me a better person too. But you know, this woman will never know.
 

Jackpot Raccuki

Mind your manors
I move on and push it out.

I try not to dwell on the past anymore, past Like is different than the present one who is slightly less of an asshole than the other.
Of course I don't instantly push it out, I try and learn from any mistakes... But I don't keep regrets from at least a year ago.
 
Z

Z-ro

Guest
They replay on my head
Having a great memory has its own consequences for those who haven't taken care of themselves
 

Balskarr

The Lurking Hooman
I simply don't. Certain things haunt me and bring me plenty of sleepless nights. I do thankfully find the strength to keep moving despite what I've done and walking a path of redemption has been helping me immensely these past years. I find myself unable to let go and so I try to keep myself distracted.
 

Revolver_Thotcelot

The E x p e r t
I repress the memory and don't tell anyone about it. Whenever I remember it, I just push it to the back of my mind again.
 
D

Deleted member 111470

Guest
I don't know, I seem to forget over time. As I grow older my past feels like it belongs to someone else, and I lose interest in it.
 

Bink

FLOOFY!
I tell the one who's closest to me. If they forgive me than I can certainly forgive myself.
 
N

Nyro46

Guest
Accept that I have done something wrong, think over it, and learn from it. Know that I won't let it happen again and even think over scenarios in my mind where I stop it from happening.
But I have to make sure that what I've done wrong wasn't just me thinking I did something wrong because someone manipulated me into thinking so.
I now know the difference of what is justifiable, and what is me just being a dumb fuck.
 

Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
It can be incredibly difficult, and old stuff that I think I've resolved or come to terms with will sometimes pop up again.

For relatively-minor cringeworthy things, I remind myself that people are never as attentive to your behavior as you are, and that everybody has had their share of embarrassing moments.

For bigger things, I usually try to apologize, attempt to make amends, and then strive to do better in the future, as appropriate. Sometimes, you just have to learn to live with a measure of regret and remorse in your life, while at the same time realizing that emotions like shame, blame, bitterness, self-loathing, and anger can't change the past and rarely help your future.

In cases where you can't undo the harm you've caused, sometimes, the best you can do is commit to trying to balance the scales by doing something positive in the world.

Having people who support you and stand by you can make all the difference when you're grappling with complex emotions in the wake of a regrettable event. At their best, your loved ones can help you to take responsibility and bear the weight of regret, while not taking on more blame and shame than is warranted.

And, of course, there's always therapy, too. OP, you sound like you're coping with some intrusive thoughts and serious anxieties, and the right therapist could definitely help.
 

AceQuorthon

International Man Of Mystery
I suppress it... Probably not healthy...
 
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