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How Open Are You Being A Furry (New Fur Help)

Hey everyone!

I am a person who is sorta new to this whole furry thing. I have known for a while that this is something I have taken an interest in and would like to explore more, but I never felt like I had the self confidence or personal image to embrace it or explore further. Now older, and more confident in myself I have no shame in trying to be me and engage in all of this, but I still feel like I just cannot display this anywhere in my life other than as an alias on the internet. Although my family are kinda folk, they are not the most open/understanding of people, I work in a very conservative and professional work environment and I am not exactly social enough to have a large friend group.

So let me ask! How open are you with being a furry? Is it something you tell everyone around you, something you only bring up with close friends? Does it have any impact of your interests and what you do?

I am genuienly curious, about what you think!
 

Zhalo

Rez the Wolfdog
Personally, I don't really think it is necessary for the vast majority of my friends to know I am a furry. Most of the time, my friends that know I am a furry found out without me telling them. The only time one of my coworkers knew, was because he looked over my shoulder while I was on my phone. Honestly I think most of the time it is a strange thing to bring up in conversation, unless the topic of furries is already brought up. If it is brought up I will wait and see how they talk about the topic before saying I am a furry, lots of the time people will talk shit about us, but if they already know I am one then I don't know if they would do that. As far as like wearing furry apparel and putting furry stickers on stuff. Go for it I myself prefer furry shirts and stuff that are more "dog whistle" type things like Hyena Agenda shirts and I have a Bad Dragon beenie I wear a lot. My house is overtly furry though, if I know someone well enough to invite them over then I am ok with them knowing I am a furry.

As far as interests generally there is a furry group for about any interest there is. I'm in one for mountain biking, one for skateboarding, and one for CSGO myself.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
For me, it works the same as any other preferences like food, music, videogames, etc. For me, there's absolutely no need to tell this to others and of course no pressure for not 'coming out' as well!

I never walk up and suddenly inform people that I'm a furry when nobody asked and nobody was curious--then better just keep the pace and do what I was doing. (Cuz you don't randomly shout 'I like coffee!')

On the contrary, if someone asks me if I'm a furry, I say yes why? I'm also just cool about being a furry, it's nothing too worrysome for me at least. For me, this is simply being myself, regardless of my furry aspects.

I know the furry fandom is one of the vastly hatred fandom in the world, so I always behave nicely beforehand just like many other fellow furs around the world. Even then, when people are gonna give cold shoulders just because they later knew I'm a furry, that's their problem, move on UwU

Plus, other than the fact that I'm a furry, there still are plenty of people hating/disliking me for whatever reason they consider legit.(And surprisingly, other people who like/appreciate me for the similar/same reasons also exist!) So, I stopped caring to fit them all and am just focusing on being myself. Much better! :3

Be confident, trust yourself on what you do and why! That way, things are gonna be more natural Ow<☆
 
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Yakamaru

Summertime woofer
Simple solution: It's not something to "come out" about. People don't need/want to know and you don't need to tell them. It's at best a hobby, at worst a pasttime thing.

I've never understood this "coming out" culture. It's ripe for pointless drama and potential problems. Keep things that are meant to be private, private.
 
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quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
I don’t go out of my way to tell people, and I don’t go out of my way to hide it. If they see my art it’s probably going to be blatantly obvious before too long, and I’m upfront about it in my online presence. Ain’t nobody got time to play secrets over a hobby.
 

Kuroserama

Just a fox.
Hello there! It's nice to meet you.

I agree with the above posters. While it's natural for us (anyone) to want to show our interests, especially new ones, I would be careful where you wave your furry flag. I've read a few incidents where someone told a coworker they were close to at work that they were a furry and then it became a huge issue. A good question to ask is “does _____ really need to know I'm a furry? What will our relationship gain from them knowing?”

I think it depends on how secure you are in the possibility of people looking at you weird or silently judging you. The fandom, I feel, tends to have a really cringy / negative look to people who do not take the time to learn and understand it in the first place. Put yourself in the shoes of the people you want to tell. It's a subject you don't understand so you google 'furry.' Are you comfortable with your loved ones looking at whatever google shows? Are you prepared to answer questions when they ask, “Why is there a cartoon horse in a diaper?”

When I play WoW, I have a different alias there and with my guild. And while I haven't come out and said I'm a furry, some guildies have playfully alluded that I was. Most of us play animal-esque characters so it's not a far jump and I know at least two are curious about the fandom. While I feel pretty comfortable around them all, I don't feel the need to go out of my way to announce that I'm a furry.

The only other thing I keep separate is my art, where I have another art portfolio. I don't know that that was a smart move, as I have to try and upkeep / fill both.


This sounded like I was saying to hide being a furry. I meant more like: Be aware not everyone will understand and some people will be ignorant and could cause you problems, so it may be best to just keep them guessing.
 
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Tacoshark

Defender of the Sacred Nuggs
Generally I go on the principle of not telling people unless they ask. It is not necessarily something I feel I need to come out to. My parents don't know because I have never felt a need to tell them, same with most of my friends. My girlfriend knows only because she discovered my furry profile online.

It is something different people handle in different ways. Take it by ear if you want to tell someone. There are a lot of misconceptions about the fandom and not all people react well, but don't feel like you have to tell anyone. Tell someone because you want to tell them.
 

Primal the Lycanroc

Maxwell the Fennec
Ya know, that's a good question! I've thought about that for some time now, but I'm still not sure as to how that would pan out if I told my family about that.

Granted, my sister already knows, and occasionally jokes about that concept, but still, I don't tell the rest of them. It's pretty hard to explain to a ten and eight year old what a furry is, so I'll just wait till they get older before I tell them that.

As for my dad and mom, not sure how I would say that. Since my birthday is coming up, I went and asked for a fursuit as a birthday gift, and thankfully, my dad didn't know what a furry was, so it spared me that explanation.

Put simply, there's a select few who I would trust to go and tell them that, but in terms of interests and the impact on that, I would say it has quite the effect. Since I play a lot of Warzone, it's definitely not everyday that you see a screen name of Maxen the Ferret. I did it for the giggles, and funnily enough, there is nobody else with names similar to mine, which makes it all the more humorous!

And lastly, I would say for other activities, it has minimal impact, thankfully. Since I keep my sona and the details pretty well hidden, I tell it ever so rarely to others, only if I trust them enough.

Hope this response helps in any way!
 

Crisahitna

Member
I do post about being a furry on my own page, but I don't shove my coming out crap down people's throats nor share it out loud if it's really not needed. It's one of those things where you gotta know the group of people you're with before you open your mouth (I should know. I'm part of Mox's server(seriously though, don't join that server if you're a furry)). Granted, if people do give you crap for being a furry, just shrug it off and vibe and they'll eventually waste enough energy to back off. Besides, you are in their head rent free after all.
 

Firuthi Dragovic

Gamer Dragon, former speedrunner
People only tend to know about that part of me in the virtual world, where I'll bring it up if it matters.

The people around me tend to only know the NSFW aspects of the fandom (and they've heard too many horror stories of things that even the vast majority of furries would condemn) and my work environment is too professional to discuss the SFW parts of it, so it goes basically unsaid in the real world.
 

Netanye Dakabi

people call me queen
Banned
i don't really wear a fursuit or anything normally because they're kinda uncomfortable to wear regularly.
also i don't tend to wear shirts with furry stuff on them simply because i have things i find more interesting to put there like tv shows i watch and stuff.
so i guess just looking at me you'd never know i was a furry.

i'm not the kind to bring it up in conversation unless it's related to what we're talking about.
so i guess just talking to me you wouldn't guess either.

my room's kinda off limits for other unrelated reasons and it's not like theirs anything related to the fandom around the rest of the house.
so i guess if you came over you'd never suspect.

there is one thing that might tip you off though.
i've got a certain "interest" a lot of furries have.
if you accidentally trigger it, you might end up knowing more than you'd like.
 

Kellan Meig'h

Kilted Luthier
So, I don't advertise I'm furry. My last job before retirement was in a school district as an electronics/communications tech. A few teachers and one principal knew I was furry because they were too. My immediate family (wife and youngest daughter) know I'm furry and that's about it. Some of my (crappy) artwork and novels are furry in nature but nobody seems to ask if I'm a fur. My youngest grandson saw my fursuit and asked so I said it was a Halloween costume. He commented that it was well constructed and thought out. I replied, asking if he ever saw Grandpa doing something half-assed. That seemed to placate him.

this is just a hobby, an interest since I really like doing costuming. I also like to sew, as odd as that sounds. I've made my own camp shirts, pajamas, a few bath robes and upholstered a few cars, trucks and boats. My crowning achievement was doing a properly constructed kilt by hand, no machine work at all. My hands hated me for weeks afterward.

The takeaway from this is, you don't need to come out as a furry, it's just a hobby or interest. There's no need to tell everyone and actually, you don't have to admit it if somebody asks. sometimes best not to.
 

Connor J. Coyote

Well-Known Member
So let me ask! How open are you with being a furry? Is it something you tell everyone around you, something you only bring up with close friends? Does it have any impact of your interests and what you do?

I am genuienly curious, about what you think!
Eh - it really depends on whom I'm dealing with, in all honestly. For some - I don't tell at all.... (as I consider it more of a private thing).... and for some others who know me well - it's a well known interest.

And so, for some situations (like jobs or whatever) - I think it's always better to keep it to oneself, in all honesty.... and that way there - one can avoid any uncomfortable situations with co-workers, later on. As sometimes - some private things are best kept as just that - private.
 

Rayd

philosophy & psychology nerd
i'm assuming this is in relation to how obvious you make it?

im "open" about it in my own ways, like having furry profile pictures on various non-furry platforms, but none of these ways involve directly bringing it up unless somebody else does. that's typically the problem with this sort of fear. if somebody is bothered about how you live your life and actively go out of their way to antagonize you for it, that's their problem, not yours. you simply cannot let others control your life, whether they know you or not.

i would say however that i would advise against direct approaches related to letting people know you're a furry, whether online or in real life. it's often met with either aggression (in the case of internet trolls and ignorants) or awkward confusion/judgement (in the case of outsiders who don't know much about the interest). in other words, like others have said, you don't need to "come out" about being a furry because it's not really important information for people to know, and isn't worth the potential negative/awkward reactions you may get for revealing said information to them. of course, you don't have to hide it entirely, i'd say just keep it subtle. use all the furry profile pictures you want, display all the stickers, art, keychains, badges, etc. you want, if people bring it up and show interest, come up with a deflecting explanation, or be as open as you want with them about it. at that point, any negative reaction they may have is their own personal problem because they specifically asked to know that part of you.

as long as you aren't forcing your furry interest on people, just as you wouldn't and shouldn't with any other interest, and know to separate it from your personality, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. as soon as you learn not to allow others to sway your life, you will immediately be a lot happier, and far more free than you were before.
 

Ashwolves5

Miss Fluffy Bottom
Id say I'm really open about it. Most my clothing choices show I am or if anyone even comes into my house its kind of a dead give away. I don't hide it, in fact I enjoy talking about with other people.
 

Filter

ɹǝʇlᴉℲ
If somebody asks me, I'll ask them what a furry is. Depending on their answer, I might agree to being one. The thing is, they'd almost need to be a furry themselves to get the definition right. If they know the secret paw-shake, then sure... I'm a furry. If they don't, then I'm just a creative person who sometimes draws cartoon animals among other things. People generally don't ask, even if they've seen my furry art.

It's also worth pointing out that anthropomorphic animals aren't specific to furry fandom. Things like art and costuming are art and costuming regardless of whether somebody calls it furry or not.

The fandom itself is still somewhat misunderstood. Unfortunately, some of the more extreme misconceptions run contrary to my values. Around people who get it, I get it too. Around those who don't, I'd rather they see the stuff I like for what it is, without the stuff it's not. Something doesn't have to be called furry just because it has talking animal characters in it.

At some point, I might be more open with using the label. Like if I marry somebody who openly embraces the label, for instance, or if I become so involved with fandom-specific activities that it turns into a lifestyle.
 

FureverWolf

Well-Known Member
Hey everyone!

I am a person who is sorta new to this whole furry thing. I have known for a while that this is something I have taken an interest in and would like to explore more, but I never felt like I had the self confidence or personal image to embrace it or explore further. Now older, and more confident in myself I have no shame in trying to be me and engage in all of this, but I still feel like I just cannot display this anywhere in my life other than as an alias on the internet. Although my family are kinda folk, they are not the most open/understanding of people, I work in a very conservative and professional work environment and I am not exactly social enough to have a large friend group.

So let me ask! How open are you with being a furry? Is it something you tell everyone around you, something you only bring up with close friends? Does it have any impact of your interests and what you do?

I am genuienly curious, about what you think!
For me, I don't really hide it per se. I haven't told my parents, but my boyfriend knows and select other friends do, intentionally informed. I put out the signs that I do, if people knew what to look for. I dress contrary to the norm, usually wearing t-shirts that are very colored and have wolves, foxes or dragons. I even have this really awesome one of the dragon howling with a wolf in front of a full moon. Totally cool. But I digress, it's a very personal choice to inform others, especially immediate family. You take a risk by doing it, depending on how conservative they are. I'm pretty sure my father wouldn't care, he would raise an eyebrow but that's really about it. My mother is very LDS, and she still has trouble accepting that I'm gay. So that's kind of a big flag of "don't tell her!" So it really depends on your situation, and the kind of people that you live with. My suggestion would be to learn more of the fandom, and maybe put out little hints here or there for people that would understand what they mean as a chance to meet others. If people think to ask, I'm not going to deny it. There's no shame in it, only what we put on it ourselves. Society may have misconceptions on it, but look at how the past has been. 20 - 30 years ago gays were hated, reviled and even physically harmed. But nowadays it's A LOT more accepted. I think given time it'll be the same for the furry community. Our time is coming.
 

Klox

Rollling Tumbling along
Its an interesting question !

I never really thought about it, but then again i guess i live in a country where "furry" is not really famous, so i dont use this term. I just say i like anthropomorphic animals, and than when i was young me and my friends acted like foxes in school because we wanted to become one. People think its funny at worst, or they relate to it at best because honestly who didnt have a period where they were daydreaming about being animals ? And like disney is the most famous company and they specialize in furry art in a certain way lol

I show my furry art to friends and family too, because why not. Its nice art and its not because its furry i should be ashamed of it. Well i dont show the more nsfw ones lol, but the "artistic nude" ones are ok. Some of my friends vaguely know about furry at most, so theyre just "nice drawing" and thats it. When i showed them a cute malaysian tapir in pretty panties i made they were just like "its an....interesting subject" hahaaa

But then again i surround myself by kind people. We dont always understand each other but we dont need to understand each others hobbies to be supportive of it, if it makes loved one happy. I get rid of judgy "friends" pretty quickly and cut ties with toxic family members, that helps a lot.
If people humiliates you or makes fun of you for enjoying stuff you like and which doesnt hurt anyone, then.... it looks like a they-problem. Its true furry can have a bad rep (i dont mean the porn rep which i dont mind, but the "harassing edgy lords on internet" rep, which i feel is more famous in my country ?), but if those ppl know you then theyd logically understand that you didnt become a "bad" person the instant you liked furry stuff, so that should motivate them to change their mind. At least its a good test to see if you should stay around them lol

But from what you said your situation is more difficult so maybe its not comparable. At my jobs or in any other situation where im dependant on others people wills to survive, or where i cant leave when i want, i trade differently yeah. Before sharing stuff i always wonder if it can give people leverage against me, be it my sexuality/hobbies/activities. If it can i dont share, it means its a "my close ppl topic"

So yeah tldr If you feel like in ur work being a furry could cost you money or you could be risking harassment, its a good idea to not be "out". If you feel the same around friends and family... firstly im sorry for you because i know its not great to feel like you cant be or share what you like around people who should support you :( secondly, maybe its a good sign you dont have the environment where you could thrive and mb you could change that step by step if possible ? I think im going off track lol

Thats all UvU ‍
 
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KimberVaile

Officially elected and actual ruler of FAF
I personally found the subject too strange to explain to family or irl friends. I just feel there is too much awkwardness involved to really say much without making it an awkward topic. I don't think most average people would take me being into sexy anthro foxes as anything other than off putting, lol
 
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Punji

Vaskebjørn
It's on a need-to-know basis.

That is, unless we share the affiliation.
 

Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
I'm fairly open about it! Even if I don't actively volunteer or share it, I at least don't conceal or deny it. I only keep mum in professional or more formal settings where personal sharing in general is meant to be kept to a minimum, or when I sense someone would react in an excessively hostile manner.
 

Parabellum3

I'm not a furry if I have feathers.
I always deny that I am a furry. Mainly because I have feathers, and I find the word furry a bit silly. Instead I refer to myself as an anthropomorphic enthusiast and call my sona an "OC" in public. It helps me not to be associated with the majority that the haters target and people are more understanding when I explain it to them.
 
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