quoting_mungo
Well-Known Member
Mentioning things they have done well (things like "hey I saw this piece of art you drew/this story you wrote, and I really liked how you approached X") is generally pretty safe. Asking their advice or otherwise helping/letting them feel useful, as All the Fur said, can also be helpful.
In my personal experience, most depressed people (of which I am one) are fine with people not having a deep understanding of what depression is like. Depression sucks, and I don't particularly want anyone else to have that experience, yanno? Just try to accept what they say about the way they feel (you don't have to agree, but accepting that it feels that way to them - imagine sharing a room with someone who is always cold; if they tell you they're freezing, you should offer them a blanket or some hot cocoa (or possibly suggest checking them for fever), not tell them they can't be cold because it's 80 freaking degrees in here) and you'll have avoided one of the biggest sore spots. Also try to remember that "depression" does not equal "sad". I, at least, find it incredibly annoying and frustrating when people assume that I go around feeling actively sad all the time.
Some of the best descriptions I've seen of what depression feels like are Allie Brosh's posts: Adventures in Depression and Depression Part Two - especially the analogy with losing the wonder of childhood games really resonates with me. I can find myself picking up a game and after 10-15 minutes thinking "I'm supposed to enjoy this. Why do I not feel enjoyment?"
In my personal experience, most depressed people (of which I am one) are fine with people not having a deep understanding of what depression is like. Depression sucks, and I don't particularly want anyone else to have that experience, yanno? Just try to accept what they say about the way they feel (you don't have to agree, but accepting that it feels that way to them - imagine sharing a room with someone who is always cold; if they tell you they're freezing, you should offer them a blanket or some hot cocoa (or possibly suggest checking them for fever), not tell them they can't be cold because it's 80 freaking degrees in here) and you'll have avoided one of the biggest sore spots. Also try to remember that "depression" does not equal "sad". I, at least, find it incredibly annoying and frustrating when people assume that I go around feeling actively sad all the time.
Some of the best descriptions I've seen of what depression feels like are Allie Brosh's posts: Adventures in Depression and Depression Part Two - especially the analogy with losing the wonder of childhood games really resonates with me. I can find myself picking up a game and after 10-15 minutes thinking "I'm supposed to enjoy this. Why do I not feel enjoyment?"