Pomorek
Antelope-Addicted Hyena
I admit it's a strange kind of problem. Also I wonder how understandable will it even be on a forum where vast majority of userbase is American. But I need to get it off my chest..
Basically, I can't bring myself to drive a car because I'm feeling too anxious about it. Before you start wondering how do I even live - driving is not that necessary around here. Everything is either in walking distance, or there's public communication to get you there.
It's not even a technical problem for me. I even have a license. Passed on second attempt, which in the context of the local stringent exams is pretty good (as if getting B grade while A would be passing on first try). I was mostly forced by my family. But I found the whole thing so unnerving, that since then (quite a few years) I drove literally a few times, and never by my own initiative.
I know all the rules etc, can even explain them to others. Also I'm cycling quite much, and I'm not giving people any reasons to honk at me, so I'd say I know how to behave in traffic. But with a car, there's way too many factors to pay attention to at the same time and I find it overwhelming to the point of anxiety.
Locations of other vehicle on the road and their speeds and directions. The course of the road, the speed and course of my vehicle. It's own spatial extent, and distances to keep from things. The status of the road, as expressed by roadsigns. All the manipulators to use. And my arch enemy, clutch pedal and manual stick (eliminating that would shave off like 25% of the whole problem, but alas, it's Eastern Europe and automatic transmission is for rich people only)... Too much to pay attention to at once!
I can handle this, with significant effort of will, for half an hour or so (just enough to pass that exam) but after that my brain undergoes emergency shutdown from all the overload. And I need to quickly look for a place to stop and cool down. After two such periods (tried such longer drives on the courses) I'm all shaky and really unable to continue in any safe way.
The problem is made all the worse by the local driving culture, or rather the lack of it. People drive like crazy, treating it like some competition, and not paying attention to safety. Going cautious and sticking to the speed limits etc. can actually anger others. I've been a witness of several accidents resulting in complete wrecking of vehicles. So it can't even be said that my driving anxiety is completely unfounded in such environment.
Why does it even matter since I managed to find my ways around without driving for so long? Well, together with my wife we devised a *possible* way to make decisive improvements in our life. A rather big change. And there's huge probability that when it's put into motion, I won't be able to avoid driving any longer. And it is seriously worrying to me. By the way, my wife doesn't have licence yet but intends to get it.
I don't really know what to expect from this tread. I know well there are no magic bullets. Exercising driving together with someone more experienced and whom I can trust would be optimal, but I don't have such option. Shelling out for some extra paid training is an option though, and I may pursue it for the lack of other solutions. There's not much else I can think of. Tried some therapy by the way. As useful as it was for other issues, with this one it didn't help a whole lot.
But maybe someone can have some idea I have not encountered before.
Basically, I can't bring myself to drive a car because I'm feeling too anxious about it. Before you start wondering how do I even live - driving is not that necessary around here. Everything is either in walking distance, or there's public communication to get you there.
It's not even a technical problem for me. I even have a license. Passed on second attempt, which in the context of the local stringent exams is pretty good (as if getting B grade while A would be passing on first try). I was mostly forced by my family. But I found the whole thing so unnerving, that since then (quite a few years) I drove literally a few times, and never by my own initiative.
I know all the rules etc, can even explain them to others. Also I'm cycling quite much, and I'm not giving people any reasons to honk at me, so I'd say I know how to behave in traffic. But with a car, there's way too many factors to pay attention to at the same time and I find it overwhelming to the point of anxiety.
Locations of other vehicle on the road and their speeds and directions. The course of the road, the speed and course of my vehicle. It's own spatial extent, and distances to keep from things. The status of the road, as expressed by roadsigns. All the manipulators to use. And my arch enemy, clutch pedal and manual stick (eliminating that would shave off like 25% of the whole problem, but alas, it's Eastern Europe and automatic transmission is for rich people only)... Too much to pay attention to at once!
I can handle this, with significant effort of will, for half an hour or so (just enough to pass that exam) but after that my brain undergoes emergency shutdown from all the overload. And I need to quickly look for a place to stop and cool down. After two such periods (tried such longer drives on the courses) I'm all shaky and really unable to continue in any safe way.
The problem is made all the worse by the local driving culture, or rather the lack of it. People drive like crazy, treating it like some competition, and not paying attention to safety. Going cautious and sticking to the speed limits etc. can actually anger others. I've been a witness of several accidents resulting in complete wrecking of vehicles. So it can't even be said that my driving anxiety is completely unfounded in such environment.
Why does it even matter since I managed to find my ways around without driving for so long? Well, together with my wife we devised a *possible* way to make decisive improvements in our life. A rather big change. And there's huge probability that when it's put into motion, I won't be able to avoid driving any longer. And it is seriously worrying to me. By the way, my wife doesn't have licence yet but intends to get it.
I don't really know what to expect from this tread. I know well there are no magic bullets. Exercising driving together with someone more experienced and whom I can trust would be optimal, but I don't have such option. Shelling out for some extra paid training is an option though, and I may pursue it for the lack of other solutions. There's not much else I can think of. Tried some therapy by the way. As useful as it was for other issues, with this one it didn't help a whole lot.
But maybe someone can have some idea I have not encountered before.