I need clever jokes XD (read Desc)

[TrixieFox]

so recently I have been watching lesser-watched Twitchers to help get their views up and make them laugh... been using a lot of 'deez nuts' set ups and pickup lines... so gimme your best jokes plz

 

[RamblingRenegade]

*google is your friend* LOL sorry but it works for me

 

[TrixieFox]

*google is your friend* LOL sorry but it works for me

been using it but the ones on Google they've heard a lot

 

[Chaosmasterdelta]

Here is a wholesum message
1.5+1.5=3

 

[Vanessa Howl]

Why can you never go hungry in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.>BD

 

[Faustus]

Clever jokes? Ok, I've used this one before, but it's one of my favourites that's actually quite clever:

Three logicians walk into a bar. The barman says "Do you all want the usual?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second says "I don't know."
The third says "YES!"

 

[TrixieFox]

Clever jokes? Ok, I've used this one before, but it's one of my favourites that's actually quite clever:

Three logicians walk into a bar. The barman says "Do you all want the usual?"
The first logician says "I don't know."
The second says "I don't know."
The third says "YES!"

... not sure I understand whats going on here... does it have to do with odds?

 

[tuxedo_fish]

The dumbest (and oldest) joke that still makes me laugh like a dingus is:

"Hey! Have you heard about a henway?"

('What's a henway?')

"About three pounds."

 

[TrixieFox]

The dumbest (and oldest) joke that still makes me laugh like a dingus is:

"Hey! Have you heard about a henway?"

('What's a henway?')

"About three pounds."

XD thats clever!!!

 

[Mambi]

A newlywed was the romantic type and sent her husband a sweet poem as a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams."
"If you are laughing, send me your smile."
"If you are drinking, send me a sip."
"If you are crying, send me your tears."
"I love you dearly, send me your reply."

The husband texted her back: "I'm on the toilet...please advise."

 

[Faustus]

... not sure I understand whats going on here... does it have to do with odds?

I always have to explain this one…. Logic is a dying art.

If the first logician had not wanted the usual, he would have known that the answer was no, and could have said so, but he can’t answer yes because the question concerns all three of them. The same goes for the second logician. The third can reason that, since neither of his friends could say a definitive ‘no’, they must both want the usual. And he wants the usual, so is able to answer for all three of them.

 

[Mambi]

I always have to explain this one…. Logic is a dying art.

If the first logician had not wanted the usual, he would have known that the answer was no, and could have said so, but he can’t answer yes because the question concerns all three of them. The same goes for the second logician. The third can reason that, since neither of his friends could say a definitive ‘no’, they must both want the usual. And he wants the usual, so is able to answer for all three of them.