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Dat Wolf
Guest
so my gf just broke with me and she won’t say why. Any advice to move on? First break up need some good words.
I need some break up advice
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Yakamaru
Woof? Woof
If she is not going to tell you why I recommend you just leave it. You're both young, and breakups ain't gonna be uncommon, especially not if you're active in the dating department. Once you get older you will most likely find someone whom you can settle with for a long time, if not permanently.
I am not going to tell you not to feel sad/down about it though. It's never fun to being broken up with or doing the breaking up.
I am not going to tell you not to feel sad/down about it though. It's never fun to being broken up with or doing the breaking up.
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Dat Wolf
Guest
Appreciate it
Faexie
Rara for short :)
Just keep it mind that she didn't necessarily break up with you because there was something wrong with you. Sometimes values, personality, way to show affection, etc. simply don't align well. It's also possible that she wasn't ready for a relationship or not in the way you wanted it. If there are things you think you could have done better you can learn from that, but figuring out how she left you will probably not give you closure. There is no closure after a breakup, you just move on.
Try to occupy yourself and spend time with friends to distract yourself, it helps a lot.
Try to occupy yourself and spend time with friends to distract yourself, it helps a lot.
quoting_mungo
Well-Known Member
Breakups are what they are. How to handle them will largely depend on what sort of relationship the two of you expect to have going forward; if you both see yourselves remaining friends, or if you believe you're likely to go separate ways after the breakup. Generally (and I say this as someone who is inclined to talk every little thing to death) letting things settle a bit before asking questions about why she felt the need to end the relationship is prudent. She might (or might not; respect her wishes either way) be more willing to talk about it in a couple of weeks, if you leave it for now.
As Ramona sort of touched on, the focus of any questions you ask should be self-improvement. "Was it because of something I did?" is less demanding than "why did you leave me?" Make it be about how you might be able to be a better partner in the future (and trust me, there's no one that doesn't still have room for improvement in that department), rather than about her breaking up with you per se. Now, this doesn't mean you have to know why she broke up with you. The world isn't going to end if she doesn't want to talk about it. Pressuring her about it will bring nothing good. This is more advice aimed at "if you feel this is something you need to ask for your peace of mind."
Grieve if you need to. Forcing back feelings isn't healthy.
Ask yourself where you want to go and what you want your priorities to be. When my ex dumped me, I reconnected with an old friend I'd been pretty sparse in my communications with during that relationship. Said friend and I got married a few years back. While you may not have your future spouse waiting on the sidelines, chances are you let something drop in priority during your relationship - now is a good time to pick whatever it was that fell to the wayside back up.
As Ramona sort of touched on, the focus of any questions you ask should be self-improvement. "Was it because of something I did?" is less demanding than "why did you leave me?" Make it be about how you might be able to be a better partner in the future (and trust me, there's no one that doesn't still have room for improvement in that department), rather than about her breaking up with you per se. Now, this doesn't mean you have to know why she broke up with you. The world isn't going to end if she doesn't want to talk about it. Pressuring her about it will bring nothing good. This is more advice aimed at "if you feel this is something you need to ask for your peace of mind."
Grieve if you need to. Forcing back feelings isn't healthy.
Ask yourself where you want to go and what you want your priorities to be. When my ex dumped me, I reconnected with an old friend I'd been pretty sparse in my communications with during that relationship. Said friend and I got married a few years back. While you may not have your future spouse waiting on the sidelines, chances are you let something drop in priority during your relationship - now is a good time to pick whatever it was that fell to the wayside back up.
The Matte-Black Cat
Dark/Psychic-Timid Nature-Often lost in thought
Me trying to be normal:
Break ups are a hard and annoying burden in life. However, once you think about how many other people exist and how many other people have the same interests as you and etc, you realize that there's a great chance that there Is indeed someone better for you.
It's definitely not the end of the world, there are many other women out there and you'll find someone else, or perhaps - they may find you.
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My true-self (Misanthropic me):
People are the Biggest burden in life. People often think solely for themselves and not put themselves in other people's shoes.
The fact that she won't tell you why is selfish and disrespectful, and for that reason - I'll tell you not to bother with getting back with her. She obviously doesn't care enough about you to tell you, so why care about her anymore? There's many other people who are going to care More about you than how she did you.
You seem like a very cool and creative person. You deserve better, and will find someone better. But also keep in mind - Sometimes being single is amazing..No worries, no one to have to cater to or deal with, etc..Taking a lengthy break from relationships is often a very good experience.
Along with all of this, however - I do wanna mention something... you're still pretty young..and your taste in women will Definitely change later on and you'll also learn what particular qualities and aspects that you desire in someone. Those qualities and aspects will be different than what you think you'd like now..
Hope you like my advice...
Break ups are a hard and annoying burden in life. However, once you think about how many other people exist and how many other people have the same interests as you and etc, you realize that there's a great chance that there Is indeed someone better for you.
It's definitely not the end of the world, there are many other women out there and you'll find someone else, or perhaps - they may find you.
-
My true-self (Misanthropic me):
People are the Biggest burden in life. People often think solely for themselves and not put themselves in other people's shoes.
The fact that she won't tell you why is selfish and disrespectful, and for that reason - I'll tell you not to bother with getting back with her. She obviously doesn't care enough about you to tell you, so why care about her anymore? There's many other people who are going to care More about you than how she did you.
You seem like a very cool and creative person. You deserve better, and will find someone better. But also keep in mind - Sometimes being single is amazing..No worries, no one to have to cater to or deal with, etc..Taking a lengthy break from relationships is often a very good experience.
Along with all of this, however - I do wanna mention something... you're still pretty young..and your taste in women will Definitely change later on and you'll also learn what particular qualities and aspects that you desire in someone. Those qualities and aspects will be different than what you think you'd like now..
Hope you like my advice...
SayuriSergal14
Vampire Sergal
Hey, whatever happens you alwayys have to remember that it doesn't change who you are. Maybe there is a reason she broke up with you, and mabye there isn't, but you will find someone else and so will she. I do however think that it is incredibly rude of her to not tell you why she broke up with you, because you, like everybody else in the world, deserves an explanation as to why the person they care about dooes not feel the same way. It just goes to show that she might not be very nice person in the end, but regardless of all that, you just need to get over her and be happy. I hope things go your way from now on! 