I need to vent.

[luxdreamer]

I am pretty upset right now.

Just a warning -- this is going to be a LONG post. Feel free to scroll down to the tl;dr segment for a run-through. I just really need to type all this out for my own sanity.


Once upon a time a friend of mine, we are going to call her Jane and her boyfriend Kyle, invited me to move in with them and their other roommates. I needed out of my home, they needed the extra income and we were all cool with each other so it seemed like a pretty win-win situation. Before moving in with them Jane had often bragged to me about how she and Kyle were screwing over their current roommates by making them pay for rent/bills that they didn't actually have.

Example1: Kyle's uncle paid for the internet bill and didn't make them pay anything on it. Jane and Kyle didn't tell their roommates that. Instead, they made them pay a portion of the bill each and if they didn't they would change the wifi password and then Jane and Kyle would pocket the money.

Example2: Jane and Kyle would have their roommates pay extra on rent by telling them their bill was higher than what it really was. In reality, Kyle's dad owned the house and was under the impression that Kyle, Jane and everyone living there couldn't afford to pay much so he asked them to pay half of the rent while Kyle's dad paid the landlord the other half often. While Jane and Kyle pocketed the extra money.

I know what you're thinking...
"Lux. Why would you want to move in with people like that? If you know they are screwing their other friends over you have to KNOW they would screw you over!"

And yes. You are absolutely right. I confronted them about it when I moved in and requested for receipts on everything I paid. I wasn't going to let myself get screwed over.

You may also ask...
"Lux, what the heck, why did you let them screw over those other people?"
In which I have to say I regret not telling them wholeheartedly. I didn't know any of them personally and by the time I moved in there was only one other roommate -- the rest had either left or been kicked out.

So the week that I move in we throw Jane a birthday party. Her 21st one, to be exact. And let me make this clear -- we are the type of people who really want to celebrate one's 21st birthday the good ole American way. Booze, friends, games and lots of laughs.

Long story short here Kyle's dad (who is also our neighbor) hangs out with us during the party, he has already been drinking all day and during one of the games we were playing (just a question game) he gets racist and rude and later Kyle talks to him privately and asks him to tone it down because Kyle didn't believe in discrimination in his home. Kyle's dad says he understands and decides to go home and then about 10 minutes later comes back with a gun and threatens to kill everyone there if even one of us is a muslim. Eventually it comes down to us all leaving, even the four of us who live there.

Eventually what happened us that I moved back in with my partner, Blue (the other guy who lived there) ended up getting his own two bedroom apartment and Jane and Kyle moved a few states over in with Jane's mother to get a fresh start.

A few months pass and Jane and Kyle decide they want to come home -- that they were having issues with Jane's mom being unreasonable and overall a jerk. Blue ended up going up there to get them and brought them and their two cats back to his place where he told them, "Hey guys, I am glad you are back. I missed you! Don't worry about bills and stuff right now, just focus on getting jobs and we will go from there!"

I don't imagine the job market is easy anywhere. Here is no different. Even so, firmly I believe that if you try hard and are diligent about getting a job you will eventually find something. It took them a few months to get a job. Well -- for one of them to get a job. Kyle ended up getting a part-timer and it was really admirable how hard he worked for it. Having to walk to and from work sometimes could be too much for some people -- but for Kyle he embraced it and did what he had to do to make money.

(part two below)

 

[luxdreamer]

Jane on the other hand was lazy. Even when I was able to get her a job where I work she wouldn't even put in the application, saying "Oh I put in an application a long time ago can't you just get your boss to pull it up?" It really steamed me.

All of this stuff sounds pretty lame, right? Like little things. Things that shouldn't get me upset.
Which it shouldn't.
But given the rest of the crap that happened and is still happening -- none of this is okay.

Even after Kyle got a job they still did not offer to help with the bills. Instead, they (mostly Jane) made sure that everyone that came over (except Blue) knew just how bad they had it.

"Oh, Blue never cleans up after himself!"
"Blue keeps spending money on his boyfriend when we are struggling!"
"Blue and his boyfriend eat everything in the house!"
"Blue was supposed to get the internet turned on but he never did!"
"Blue is getting on my nerves!"
"Blue never goes to work!"
"Blue is using his friends!"
"Blue never takes care of his dog!"

Literally. Every time I went over there to hang out she would vent about something. Which is usually something I promote! After all, talking about things that peeve you is healthy and I love it when my friends talk to me. But something about all this raging got me concerned.

Jane has a way of getting people to think she is the victim. A way of using people to benefit herself and make whatever person she decides be the outcast in her circle of friends. She did it to me once upon a time so I took all of these words with a grain of salt. Especially when I witnessed her giving these same speeches to everyone that came over -- these people who were also supposed to be Blue's friend. Friend's that were quick to believe everything Jane said.

I knew she was still unemployed and I am of very firm belief that if you are living in a house and getting fed and taken care of people then the least you can do is keep the house tidy. So I didn't agree with all of her views. Even so, I took it with a grain of salt for both people.

One night I get a message from Jane and she tells me about how she and Kyle finally got an apartment. About how they worked it out so that they didn't have to pay a deposit or pet deposit and they were going to move out soon and how happy they were to get away from Blue. I asked her over and over, "Hey, does Blue know you guys are moving out?" And over and over she would say yes.

Out of concern I messaged Blue to see how he was doing and it didn't take long for him to admit how much of a wreck he felt. How he felt hated every second he was at home. How he felt like he couldn't do anything right even though he was supporting them by working 40 hours a week at a call center. -- A call center that both Jane and Kyle could get a job at if they tried during hiring season. I wasn't fully convinced that he knew that they were leaving soon by the way he spoke so I mentioned it and it turned out he wasn't as aware as Jane said he was.

After Blue tried to talk to Jane about this Jane messaged me and told me that she didn't care if he knew or not -- that she told people who asked and a few who didn't but since he didn't ask she didn't feel like he needed to know, especially since he was planning on moving a few states away in with a partner of his when his lease was up.

Blue and I kept talking for a bit and eventually I got him to come over.
Not gonna lie -- he has been here ever since. Since we have the extra room it is literally zero trouble and Blue has been so grateful over everything I can't even see this mean and doting figure that Jane made him out to be.

The more Blue and I spoke the more I felt uncomfortable.

Turns out that Blue found out that they had recently been hiding food from him so that they wouldn't have to share it while knowing that Blue was spending any extra money of his on feeding all of them.
I told him what she had been saying about him and he told me about how crazy he felt. As if he was always the bad guy.

Not long after he had been staying over Jane made sure to message Blue and complain about how his dog missed him so much, literally whining about the dog being in the house because they didn't want to deal with her. So what do we do? We go get her and now she is over here with us. Mind you, Blue went back to his house several times every day for his dog. Taking her on walks, making sure she has food and water.

When we went over there Blue finally had the courage to tell Jane and Kyle how he felt and made sure to note that he wanted to sit down and talk with them about all of this because he still wanted to be their friend. Which was a beautiful thing! If you have ever seen someone who gets pushed over all the time confront their beauty you will know what I mean!

One thing that Kyle promised to do was pay for some of the rent before they left. Blue and he talked about it more than once and Jane told me that was the plan, too.

But tonight -- ohhhh, tonight we went to get the money because rent is due tomorrow. Mind you, Blue quit his job at the call center about a month ago now simply because the stress from the job and from home was overwhelming so this was really going to help him a lot. Blue went there around 4-ish our time and Kyle was at work but Jane told him to come back after 9 to get the money, that there was no problem.

Which was crap.

As soon as we got there and Blue mentioned the money Kyle started in on,
"Isn't rent paid in advance? We are moving out on the 2nd, why should I pay for a month when I am not going to be here?"
"Oh well, you never said we had to pay any rent to be here so."
"You misunderstood me, you always zone out when I am talking to you Blue, I never said I would pay anything!"

It was insane. It was premeditated. Planned by this conniving duo who intentionally lied to Blue so that they could stay there longer and he wouldn't kick them out.

These people who have lied and manipulated not only him but any friends that he had with this cultish "we are the victim and he is a villain!" mentality that Jane knows how to weave into the brains of those who genuinely care for her.

I am so OUTRAGED because Blue has given them EVERYTHING he had. He worked so hard to get his apartment and his friends, to try and make sure they had food while living on a single income and all they did was use him, lie to him, make his friends think less of him and manipulate him -- making him feel like he is the problem and like he can never be good enough.

Is Blue perfect? No! Not at all! He, admittedly, did not clean enough and the longer time went with his friend's not offering to help them out any he felt more consumed by the stress and his anger sometimes got the best of him. He did not make the best choices but at the end of the day he kept the lights on, kept a roof over their head and did his best to keep food in their bellies. And after all of that they decide to screw him over so that they can have more money when they move out.


--

TL;DR:
Long term friends screw over another friend after he breaks his back for months to keep them fed, sheltered and warm at night. Long term friends have a chance to redeem themselves and save the friendship and say that they will pay money for rent but change their mind at the very last minute because they are self righteous, "victims" and over-all lying, manipulative jerks.


--

I just don't understand how people can be so ruthless to people that love them and to people who they used to say they love. I will NEVER trust these people. Next time I will trust my instincts about people because this drama is ridiculous.

-Angry fluff.-

 

[Nicky The Husky]

You could have messaged me!! I would have gladly listened to you! You still can if you want ^^

 

[luxdreamer]

You could have messaged me!! I would have gladly listened to you! You still can if you want ^^

xD Alright, I will!

 

[PrismaKitty]

That's horrible! Blue sounds like a good guy, and from everything that you explained, he DEFINITELY didn't deserve to get swindled like that! It's crazy how people can hide their crazy just long enough to suit their needs and get what they want from people.
Is everything going to be ok with Blue? If they're going to be that way they should AT LEAST give him the amount of money for the time they WILL be there.
UGH! Nothing makes me more angry than people taking advantage of others' good intentions. It really fries my cheese!
I'm really sorry for your friend and I do hope everything works out for him and things get better. :/

 

[inactive]

D'you know if Blue needs some financial help in order to get back on his feet? (Wonder if a GoFundMe thing or some such could be in order...)

Is Blue one for chatting with internet semi-strangers? I'd like to talk to him if I could. And if he wanted to, of course.

That other couple doesn't deserve your or Blue's presence, and neither you nor Blue deserve to have to put up with their crap. Hope things work out better for you from here on.

(P.S., Kyle's dad should be reported to the police. Although I'm not sure if anything can be done about it if it was a while back, but everyone else needs to be kept safe from that guy.)

 

[luxdreamer]

That's horrible! Blue sounds like a good guy, and from everything that you explained, he DEFINITELY didn't deserve to get swindled like that! It's crazy how people can hide their crazy just long enough to suit their needs and get what they want from people.
Is everything going to be ok with Blue? If they're going to be that way they should AT LEAST give him the amount of money for the time they WILL be there.
UGH! Nothing makes me more angry than people taking advantage of others' good intentions. It really fries my cheese!
I'm really sorry for your friend and I do hope everything works out for him and things get better. :/

Thank you for taking some time to read through this! Blue is actually a furry and is the one who inspired me to get a FA account so I think I will show him this post and I know it will cheer him up.

Today everything has calmed down and after a night of venting I believe things are a lot better emotionally.
I'm trying to convince him to let me do commissions to raise money for him to get to where he needs to go at the end of April.
He will be okay as long as he can make it there!

Things will definitely get better. Things are already getting better! So thank you again!

 

[luxdreamer]

D'you know if Blue needs some financial help in order to get back on his feet? (Wonder if a GoFundMe thing or some such could be in order...)

Is Blue one for chatting with internet semi-strangers? I'd like to talk to him if I could. And if he wanted to, of course.

That other couple doesn't deserve your or Blue's presence, and neither you nor Blue deserve to have to put up with their crap. Hope things work out better for you from here on.

(P.S., Kyle's dad should be reported to the police. Although I'm not sure if anything can be done about it if it was a while back, but everyone else needs to be kept safe from that guy.)

I am not sure about a gofundme, though it does sound like a good idea. I was thinking about doing cheap commissions to help him out. As long as we can get him the gas and stuff to get to the other state I know he will be okay. He has a job and a house already set up for him there.

Perhaps! Blue is a furry and has a FA and if it is okay with him I will send you the link to his profile! I am sure he would love more people to talk to!

And I agree. I partially regret not going to the police about it. I just didn't see the point considering that this guy is a retired cop. It would be near impossible to get a police officer involved that wasn't biased.

It's a dog eat dog world. While Jane and Kyle sound like scum, it seems to me like Blue was overgenerous; he was entirely responsible for taking on other people's problems. I know it's hard to see it that way. My parents made the same mistakes in the past, helping our own family; and it lead to our house being repossessed, among other things. I've learnt from their mistakes, and yet I still often give too much time or resources to others. I think the most important thing is to know when to stop and say no - which hope Blue has come to see for himself, friends or not. I hope you guys don't plan to associate with J and K ever again, because I would cut ties immediately.

It bothers me that there are people willing to take so much from someone else, a friend no less, for nothing. I am always hesitant to take from others, even gifts - or a couple of chips from a takeout. Some people are so disgustingly selfish.

This experience has been eye opening for Blue. And myself, to be honest. He and I have spoke about it and he knows that he gave too much and was a bit naive about the situation for a while. I don't believe he is going to make the same mistakes again. It is an infuriating situation but we are going to make the best of it.