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I'm finding it increasingly hard to justify living.

AlexInsane

I does what I says on the box.
I kind of feel at this point that my life isn't really worth living any longer. What am I going to do? I have to get a job, even one I hate, but to do that, I have to give a shit about wanting one, and I can't even do that. Job = money, money = life, but how am I going to get a job and keep it when I have no interest in doing anything? How am I going to stand out enough to an employer for them to want to hire me? Is it just going to come to me, in a flash of desperate inspiration? Or is it going to be a miracle? It certainly won't be because I impressed them - there is nothing impressive about me, I am average to the last degree. Oh, perhaps I have intelligence, but I doubt very much that McDonald's will be interested in me because of my ability to spell long words and act like a smug bastard.

And then, once I get the job, hypothetically, I have to start paying out. All my money will be tied up in bills - car insurance, health insurance, phone bill, internet bill, rent, food. In what job am I going to be making enough money to pay any of that? Health insurance has gotta be a hundred dollars a month, probably more with the car, phone bill could be reduced if I drop texting and internet altogether and just get a cheap phone, internet's gotta be a hundred, and rent'll be a couple hundred a month. Food can be cheap, unhealthy junk - let's call it a hundred dollars a month too. So that's about $600-800 a month (and that's probably on the cheap side) I have to shell out just to live a bare-bones existence. And there I'll be, part-time minimum wage job with no promotion prospects making about $75 every two weeks. Yeah. That sounds wonderful. And impossible.

It's looking towards the future like this that makes me wish I hadn't been born. How am I supposed to survive? I can't live this way - knowing that I'll never get anywhere in life and despairing of paying my debts to society in a timely fashion.
 

CerbrusNL

I am legion, for we are many.
Welcome to life.

Did you get any kind of education? Try looking for a job in that sector, then.
 

Ikrit

I'm fired up!
i used to be in the same situation, but then there where things that i want

things i want so bad, i justify working to get them

you can say that "greed" keeps me going
 

Corto

Member
I know this is probably a terrible interpretation of what you wrote, and probably me being a bitter bastard because I hate everything right now, but all I could read was "man I need to get a job in order to exist in society? Lame." What exact alternative do you want?
 

Fluttershy Fan

New Member
I am right in your position right now. I have to make 12 job applications to the worst things imaginable within 48 hours, or I lose my welfare and become homeless.

Applications ask me, will you be a hard working an vigilant employee.

Pfft no.
 

CannonFodder

Resistance is futile! If 0 ohm
you can say that "greed" keeps me going
Same here, I changed my degree from something I would love doing and low paying to something I can tolerate doing and decent paying.
The things that drive me in life are greed, wrath, envy and pride.
 

Fay V

Lost to this world
There is a story of Sisyphus, doomed by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity, and when he gets to the top, the boulder rolls back down.
The existentialist Camus tells us that we must imagine Sisyphus happy, finding joy in each moment.

While there is no inherent point to life, and there seems to be the same issue over and over, you need to find joy in the moment. As they say, find your passion and the money will come. It's not easy, I've had trouble with this myself for ages now, but it won't get better if you view everything in a negative. If you seek out a hobby, a passion, something you enjoy, the rest will follow.
 

angrynorsky

New Member
There is a story of Sisyphus, doomed by the gods to roll a boulder up a hill for all eternity, and when he gets to the top, the boulder rolls back down.
The existentialist Camus tells us that we must imagine Sisyphus happy, finding joy in each moment.

While there is no inherent point to life, and there seems to be the same issue over and over, you need to find joy in the moment. As they say, find your passion and the money will come. It's not easy, I've had trouble with this myself for ages now, but it won't get better if you view everything in a negative. If you seek out a hobby, a passion, something you enjoy, the rest will follow.

Fay's got it. Sit down and think, "What do I enjoy doing? What makes me truly happy in this life?". Try to find a career based on that something and go from there. For me it's a job that pays diddly squat for ridiculous hours but I find comfort in keeping busy and it's what I love, so it works.

I'm not claiming to be a doctor, but from what you said in the OP you may have a touch of depression as well. The lack of motivation/apathy, not wanting to live anymore, etc. If this is the case, please go and talk to someone. A lot of us have been in there and it doesn't make things any better. There is something there for you--you just haven't found what it is yet. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Trust me, I've been in the same situation as you for the last few months and it's just starting to look up. Hang in there.
 

Kitutal

cute newbie kitten
This is normal, it's because you live in a silly country where if you don't have lots of money you're basically stuck.
There's a lot more to life than work, though, what other things to you like doing, friends and such like you can go and spend time with, hobbies you can enjoy?

Imagine a future that you want, not just work, everything, perhaps you want a nice family, lots of friends, maybe you want to write a book, anything, don't worry about making it too realistic, just think of the life you would like to have, if all went well, then aim towards that goal as well as you can, see how much of it you can actuallu manage, unlikely you'll achieve all of it, but if you settle for whatever you can get, that's better than aiming for a much smaller goal and failing there too.

Or, can't you get training in some field or other to better find a job? If you put the effort in, if you find something you care enough about to do so, then you can achieve more.

I'm reminded of someone one of my teachers taught a few years before me, this boy was always quiet, kept to himself, never had any friends, often didn't bother doing the work, struggled with the simplest of tasks, it seemed likely he was going to make a complete mess of his adult life too, but then, a couple of years later, teacher goes to get his car fixed and finds this boy working as a mechanic. Turns out, with just a little instruction he proved to be very capable and enthusiastic about fixing cars and stuff.

You're just going through a rough patch now, it'll get better later. One last thing, a nice quote, 'when people say, 'life is hard', I ask them 'compared to what?''
 

Tybis

Me beautiful barnet!
You seem so depressed nowadays.
Make another egg rant.
We'll all have fun.
 

Metalmeerkat

As slick as a bad analogy
You'll get used to it. Believe it or not, you can support yourself off a minimum wage job if you are working decent hours. You just won't have a whole lot left over for . . . luxuries.
 

Carnie

Member
Time to nut up or shut up.
 

Kosdu

Member
C'mon, don't give up.



I nearly killed myself. I am now happy with the love of my life.

Fact is, life may shit in our pudding then give us a winning lottery tickets and over 9000 hot chicks (or guys) the next days.





Serve others for now if need be, let them be the focus. Just pull through.
 

Ikrit

I'm fired up!
when i was suicidal i spent a whole week in a hospital for suicidal people

it's actually kinda fun if you get into a good one

though one guy there woke me up at 11 AT NIGHT and told me to go do laundry

wtf man? can't i do it in the morning?
 

Metalmeerkat

As slick as a bad analogy
C'mon, don't give up.



I nearly killed myself. I am now happy with the love of my life.

Fact is, life may shit in our pudding then give us a winning lottery tickets and over 9000 hot chicks (or guys) the next days.





Serve others for now if need be, let them be the focus. Just pull through.

I was in a similar position as Alex. I knew then and know now that life probably isn't going magically turn nice on me. Fate owns me nothing; if anything it's probably pissed at me for not believing in destiny and that fluff. But what did change was that I realized I could find happiness in the small things that I had. That revelation is many times more joyous, more liberating than the prospect of winning a lottery or whatever event. It isn't that there is no value in living or that there's no point; it's just that the values can be hiding.
 

Kosdu

Member
"The secret to happiness is to want not what you do not have, but to want what you do have"



-Buddha

(I think, not sure where I found this long ago)
 
Life isn't worth living in general, but you should try to have fun and friends :v like 9 out of 10 people aren't going to amount to much in life, but we pretend like we might, and die after a century or so.
 

Osiris the jackal

Therian of New Jersey
Thing will get better give it time.
 

CannonFodder

Resistance is futile! If 0 ohm
Life isn't worth living in general, but you should try to have fun and friends :v like 9 out of 10 people aren't going to amount to much in life, but we pretend like we might, and die after a century or so.
Atleast the people you dislike or have harmed you in the past will die and be forgotten as well with the tides of time and as they die they'll die disillusioned that their lives amounted to anything as their friends and family stay around their bedside as they die. They'll only be remembered so long as the people they know live and will be forgotten within a century of their deaths. It's only a matter of time until they die of natural causes or anything really. Nobody is immune to death so all that the rich or politicians or any person with more than you will die eventually and be forgotten as their money and power can not stop the grim reaper.

Once they die their family and friends will be more interested in what money they had and fighting over the will. So there's no point in worrying about others' wealth or fame, because eventually death will kill them as well and they'll be forgotten as well. So really there's no point in worrying because nothing you do in your life will really amount to anything cause nothing has meaning, the only constant is despair and death.

The only thing you can really do is live through your life not give a shit and just have fun in the mean time.
 
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