Impossible tasks

[Guifrog]

You can create a fantastic and convincing story or screw up the laws of chemistry/physics if they don't allow it, but do your thing as the last poster asked you to somehow! Ie.:

User 1) You. Cut the milk.
User 2) Sure. I'll freeze it, then cut it. Now you, please give me the moon.
User 3) Sure, tonight it's full moon and you'll see it. Next poster will transform into an apple.
User 4) Here's a recent pic of me [randomimageofapple.jpg]. Now can you kill a rock?
User 5) Yep. *kills Rock Lee*

Got it? Let's play! ^w^

 

[Some Moron]

If I say "Tell me I'm intelligent", would I be doing it right?

 

[Guifrog]

"You are intelligent". Bleh, piece o' cake!

Can you serve me a cup of lava? I'm thirsty.

 

[Skychickens]

Sure thing. Lava cake cocoa all roasty toasty for you!

Geeze though. I need to fit this camel through the eye of a needle.

 

[Ravofox]

Ok, got a real big needle, and the eye is hollow, and there's a door, easy!

I just baked a cake but i just realised i hate the person it's for, can you unbake this for me?

 

[KILL.MAIM.KILL]

Oh yes, to turn it back into liquid I shall eat it. That's basically unbaking.

Now, can someone please get me some cold fire?

 

[Skychickens]

Here I got you a lovely ice sculpture crafted in the image of fire!

I need some stardust please.

 

[Rant]

Sure here's some cocaine. XD

Can someone clean my nest?

 

[Tyll'a]

Sure. sends the wind to clean your nest

Could you please put an end to racism?

 

[Night.Claw]

Here you go... The solution to the problem is Mario himself.
Please, buy me a copy of Half Life 3.

 

[Tyll'a]

Sure. hands Night.Claw an empty box labeled "Half Life 3" since we all know Half Life 3 will never actually come out

Could you please fix every computer in the world?

 

[Joni]

Flex Tape!

Turn a graphite nucleus into a gold nucleus.

 

[Lunaris]

Okay, I'll just separate all the Carbon atoms and shove some more protons in (67 per atom to be exact). *squeezes the atoms ultra tightly to overcome the potential well* Bewp!

I would like you to win on Last Post Wins!

 

[Night.Claw]

You did, for 12 minutes.
Imagine a new color and tell me how it look like.

 

[Skychickens]

Oh man you should see it. It is


S̴̰͎̤͇̹̟̟͍̣̪͔͓͍͑̄̑͌͒̆̈͛̂̀͒ơ̶̤̥̤͊ ̷̛͇̹̣̳̈́̈́̐̈́̿͊̒b̴̰̼̭̹̜̙̭͛͌̓̎̇̄̇̏͑̄̚͝͠é̸͕͓̰̘̐͂̇̅̚͘a̵̖̒̎͋͝ú̸̡̡̡̘̼̹̠̺̝̩̠̖͕̈̍̔̊̀̄̂̂͂̚t̷̨͙̹̫͉͍̃͌́̾̒̈́̉͘ͅȋ̴̧̢̦͓̞͔̦̳̘̬̥̂̕f̵̢̨̡͚̫̣̲̭̹̙̬̭̂̅̀̋̄͗̀̆̊̅͂̄͝u̴̧̖̗̙͇̟̾̑̐̇̂̈́͛̄̃͝͝ḻ̵̨̛̳͇̊̔̐̔̇̄̃̈́̎͒͠ ̷̡̩̤̥̲̜̱̥͇͕͍̒̔y̴͓̳͍̲̓̌̉̾̄̐̇̚͘̚͝ǒ̶̡̰͖̭̫̼̳̖̤͔̜͔̀̈́̽̆́͝ų̶̱̪̼̙̞͎̥̰̰̳͙̹͗̍̀͋̔̕ ̸̱̥̗̤̼̣͓͍͉͕̌̽̿ͅc̵͈̲̺̩̪̋̇͂̽̎́̂͌̋͋̉͝ͅa̶̢̡̩̝͍̟̟͖͇̮̻͔̋̄̿̐̃̈́̉͗͝͠n̷̖̫͚̼̘͇̥̮̭̟̭̿͆̇n̵̡̡̒̎̔̀͆̂̅̄͊̚͘͝o̷̡̥̜̝̖̞̤͚͈̩͉̥̘̎̈̈́̓͒̀̆̃̇͐͗̚͝͠t̴̛̪͕͗̀̋̓̇́̅͛̚̕ ̵̛̛̗̝̋̃̒̑̒̓̾̀̚̕͝e̷̛̹͖̜͚͍͔̩̭͎̼͒̈́̀̊̂̂v̷̱͎͑̆̅̇͗͒̑͂͘͝ę̷̡̡̛̯̘̙̱̦̪̲̋͌̈̀̉͝ṇ̶̣̯̦͖̦̗̯̫̖̲̓̈̉͜ͅ ̵͓͓̦͖̣̐̋̑̽̈́͋̃͋̿̓̅͘͠͝ĭ̵͖̈́͗͛m̴͔̜̋̌͗͆̕a̴̞̙͔̘͙͒͆̂ģ̶͚̖̥̼̳̝̳͎͊̄̌̂͆̿̿͑͠i̵̢̖͓͕̙̹̗̯̜̞̔̏̀͋̑n̴̹̖̳̥͈̲̼̻̈́̉̉̏͌̋̒̓̈́̈́̎̾͜͜e̴̥͒̅͌̀̀̊ ̸͍͍͚͗̾̋́͊̇̈̊̕̚͠͠w̶̧̡̻̝̜̝͎̩̒̑̐͑͜h̵̨̼̦͉͔̥̬̙̲͎̟̔̈̇̋̋͋̔̒͆̚a̴̹͉̣̼͆͌͆͑̂͐̏͐̋̿̆͘̚͝t̵̹̖̜̹̞͓̳̘̆̿͑͑̓̈́͑̎͊͗̚̚ ̴̮̪̺̳͖̞̪̻̜͋̔̓͂͛̐̑̚̚͠I̵̡̡̧̠̝͇͈̞̼̤̟̙̦̓̓̊̈ ̷̧̧̛͓̳̞̥̠̟̟̭͐̾̈́͛͠ͅa̷̡͍̺̮̞͉͔͙̜̦͚̎͂̋́̉̽̏͗̌ͅm̵̨̛̦̳̰͕̣̜̘̬̖̟̍̃͑̌̈́̾̒̇̉̾̚͜ ̴̰͔̱̉̉̄̋̾́͋́̎͗͝ṣ̸̢̭̥̞̦̳̝̭̘̳͔̐͜͜e̵͙͋͛͒̑͐̆̅̋̔̒̏͝͝é̷̟̹̭̩̠͉̮̥̽̆̿̈͛̃̾́̇͘̚̚i̸̢̥̤̔͒̒͗̑̒̈́̈͒̍͠ņ̴̜͆g̸̭̞̙̗̊͆͋.̴̧̛͙̙̘̮͙̲̭̥͎͔̬͍̽̀̊̈̎̉̓͆͂̈́́̿ͅ ̶̯͓̣̣̠̟͎̿͂͐̓̏̀̓̊̔̋̿̅́͘


I really need to put a star in this glass bottle. Can you help a ferret out?

 

[Guifrog]

A star? I could do plenty for you.

I'd like to sleep on the ceiling. Can you think of something for me?

 

[Marcl]

There's nothing that cannot be solved with enough amount of duck tape.

Quickly, there's no time to explain! I need a time machine.

 

[Joni]

You're traveling through time with about 1 second per second. Should be enough to fix some problems in the future.

I don't want that my ice cream is melting in the heat.

 

[Pogo]

I'll place a seat for you in the ice box. Should keep your ice cream from melting.

You there, could you squeeze water out of a rock for me.

 

[Lopaw]

Make my sona jump out of the .psd file I’ve got of him and spring to life so I can see how society reacts to seeing a anthro weasel with two cool looking but rather impractical swords. (That will get retconned from the design at some point to being just ceremonial or something)

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Sure get a hydrolic press and (crush) there add a sieve, bingo.

Hey can you get me a black hole like full sized.

 

[Moar Krabs]

Here’s your black hole, full sized just like you asked. Now you, innocent bystander, fetch me your life savings

 

[Koriekraiz13]

Here i have none

Can you fetch me a fursuit done by god that is god quality

 

[Kylan Velpa]

God's number used to be 666 upside down, but then emergency services stole that. Bear with me...

*dials 666*
*waits*

Hey, do you think you could put me through to God please?

Oh come on! Why not?

Oh wait I forgot to mention: It's about furry stuff.

Thanks!

*waits some more again*

Ah, yes. Hello up there. I wanted to pre-order a God quality fursuit.

Well, it would be easier if the customer didn't have to come to your place to get it, I mean he wants to wear it while he's... living... you know?

Oh! I understand. Yes that's fine. Thank you very much.

*gets hung up on*

Alright, @Koriekraiz13 He says it will be with you in a week or so!
............

Spoiler: One week later

Dies and gets fursuit in heaven 1 week later >w< JK obvs

Right
My turn
Guess my sexuality correctly

 

[xremeidiot]

Attracted to at least 0 genders.

I'd like a tesseract house if you would be so kind.