monochromatic-dragon
Sorry Mom
This all over.
Is anyone anxious when they out in public places/order food
- Thread starter Parasoul
- Start date
This all over.
Batty Krueger
DJ Nailbunny
I was wearing my hoodie in Compton. The looks I got were precious.
Anyway, naw I don't get anxious going out.
SkyboundTerror
Thrashing About
Try that for 14 years. I broke my right arm when I was 3 years old and I got a huge scar above my elbow thanks to the surgery. Kids would make fun of me and pick at it, one going as far as stabbing the scar with a pencil to see if it would hurt me (no shit), so I grew very self-conscious and I'd never take off my jacket whenever I went out. My scar is actually a big reason why I grew socially anxious. Everyone would ask me what happened and it was just blah. I stopped caring at age 17.
Nowadays, I forget I have the scar.
WolfNightV4X1
King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy
I'm nervous when walking into a classroom I'm unfamiliar with. That's why I haven't gotten tutoring I'm too afraid to walk into the room and ask :/
Also...I don't mind being alone but it makes me so uncomfortable to be out somewhere in public alone especially in a place where you're supposed to be with a group I feel like I'm being judged as sad and pathetic for being some sort of lonely outcast ;~;
I'm also extremely uncomfortable with phone calls. It's even worse than face to face because I trust my voice least as a form of communication...luckily, the upside is if I cringe at what I've said or how uncomfortable I feel they can't really see that. Also, I tend to pace around in a room or area when I'm making phone calls sitting down makes it even more uncomfortable. It used to be even worse, I used to hate calls even more than I do now.
Oddly enough, I'm quite the opposite when interacting with people. I'm more outgoing in a group of familiar people than I am with one on one interactions with people. Groups make me feel like I don't have to socialize as much because someone else contributes something if I don't and there is less attention to me but to the group in general, so I always end up feeling more comfortable in that situation. Whereas in a situation when it's just me and one other person I feel the need to say something or anything and avoid awkward silences at all costs, like there's an alarm that goes off in my head telling me I need to hurry up and say something. It gets even worse when my brain blanks out on me.
...aaaand I used to be fine with public speaking but I did two presentations awhile back and realized I failed miserably and now I'm terrified of messing up again.
Also...I don't mind being alone but it makes me so uncomfortable to be out somewhere in public alone especially in a place where you're supposed to be with a group I feel like I'm being judged as sad and pathetic for being some sort of lonely outcast ;~;
I'm also extremely uncomfortable with phone calls. It's even worse than face to face because I trust my voice least as a form of communication...luckily, the upside is if I cringe at what I've said or how uncomfortable I feel they can't really see that. Also, I tend to pace around in a room or area when I'm making phone calls sitting down makes it even more uncomfortable. It used to be even worse, I used to hate calls even more than I do now.
Oddly enough, I'm quite the opposite when interacting with people. I'm more outgoing in a group of familiar people than I am with one on one interactions with people. Groups make me feel like I don't have to socialize as much because someone else contributes something if I don't and there is less attention to me but to the group in general, so I always end up feeling more comfortable in that situation. Whereas in a situation when it's just me and one other person I feel the need to say something or anything and avoid awkward silences at all costs, like there's an alarm that goes off in my head telling me I need to hurry up and say something. It gets even worse when my brain blanks out on me.
...aaaand I used to be fine with public speaking but I did two presentations awhile back and realized I failed miserably and now I'm terrified of messing up again.
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jtrekkie
Feathered
I glad I'm not the only who does that.
Baz
Member
I have always and still do wear a heavy military jacket everywhere I go, even in the middle of summer. But for the lols I sometimes dress up in full military outfit. Vest, jacket, pants, gas mask, helmet. I have done this with ears and a tail to on some occasions to the grocery store. The looks and terror I provoked in people honestly made me feel kinda bad but it was funny at the same time. Some people wanted pictures and stuff. I might be introverted as fuck but I could not care any less what others think of me.
Kazolas
Member
My biggest thing with being in public is using the drive-thru at fast food places. The idea just stresses me out. I don't want to hold up anyone behind me and I need to know exactly what I want once I'm at the window.
I always just walk inside. I can stand back and decide what I want without holding others up
Then again I'm awkward when I'm just standing in one spot. Where the hell do I put my arms/hands?
I always just walk inside. I can stand back and decide what I want without holding others up
Then again I'm awkward when I'm just standing in one spot. Where the hell do I put my arms/hands?
NukeTheCat
By "Cat", I mean, snow leopard
I'm an extrovert, but I'm often silent when I'm with some people. I somehow feel intimidated around them.
I can order food and talk to strangers when nobody's looking but when people are watching me, I become shy and unsocial.
I do like the company of others, but I wish they stop giving the vibe of judgement and narcissism.
I can order food and talk to strangers when nobody's looking but when people are watching me, I become shy and unsocial.
I do like the company of others, but I wish they stop giving the vibe of judgement and narcissism.
MonochromaticMelody
New Member
Agreed. I'm working on this, because I'm tired of being an awkward, shy little shit.
WolfNightV4X1
King of Kawaii; That Token Femboy
Alex is right, I've 'snapped out of it' a lot better since I've been trying
...I used to despise confrontations because of the fear it leads to awkwardness...now, I just let it happen. Awkwardness is the story of my life, and oftentimes you can just shrug it off and leave it in the past.
So since I've started trying to put myself out there I've been slightly less shy, or so I feel.
The horrible drawback for me is it seems since 2-3 years ago I've been getting a horrible anxiety-tourettes-like habit. I may shrug off awkward situations these days but my brain doesnt forget, and when my train of thought goes to a bad memory I end up having to 'distract' myself, which involves making a physical noise...and I get weird looks, I'm worried I'm going to do this in public by accident, it's far worse when Im alone, though.
I tend to reaaally hyperventilate or cry out some noise when nobody is around :/
But anyways, that's besides the point. Point is, I have gotten better. It can be hard, easier said than done, and not as easy as 'snapping out of it', but its a matter of at least trying. I admit, I felt there was a time that I 'tried too hard' with little results, but what I did was move on, start over, and wipe the slate clean. So...that's just it, keep trying people!
...I used to despise confrontations because of the fear it leads to awkwardness...now, I just let it happen. Awkwardness is the story of my life, and oftentimes you can just shrug it off and leave it in the past.
So since I've started trying to put myself out there I've been slightly less shy, or so I feel.
The horrible drawback for me is it seems since 2-3 years ago I've been getting a horrible anxiety-tourettes-like habit. I may shrug off awkward situations these days but my brain doesnt forget, and when my train of thought goes to a bad memory I end up having to 'distract' myself, which involves making a physical noise...and I get weird looks, I'm worried I'm going to do this in public by accident, it's far worse when Im alone, though.
I tend to reaaally hyperventilate or cry out some noise when nobody is around :/
But anyways, that's besides the point. Point is, I have gotten better. It can be hard, easier said than done, and not as easy as 'snapping out of it', but its a matter of at least trying. I admit, I felt there was a time that I 'tried too hard' with little results, but what I did was move on, start over, and wipe the slate clean. So...that's just it, keep trying people!
Kinare
RAWR
"Work it out" is one thing, "just get over it" is another. I'm not saying it can't be worked on, that'd be an ignorant statement, but it's not something that is fixed in an instant. So many people posting here saying that people should just get over it and that's not cool yo.
But yeah, most of the people I've talked to and those who posted here that are introverts do like it that way. In my case, I like introversion, but I don't like the always being alone that has come with it lately. That's the problem with not knowing what to say though, silence pisses people off just as much as saying the wrong things on accident, so it's terribly difficult finding people that are willing to work with an introvert. If more people understood that introverts aren't trying to offend them with silence or saying very little then we could all just get along and be merry.
S
Selachi
Guest
No.
This might sound cold or whatnot, but i'm honestly curious as to why so many furs apparently suffer from crippling social anxiety? Like i'm talking people 18+ age wise that can't make small talk. I can understand that the tween years can be pretty awkward (been there myself), but one would really have to actively close themselves of from everyday social interaction for that to carry on into adulthood. My concern is that asocial behavior becomes almost romanticized among certain online communities, and it becomes a "crutch" for certain people to continue to isolate themselves while refusing to put themselves out of their comfort zones and then complain how "nobody understands", despite not taking the necessary action to better themselves.
Fake it till you make it. Sounds cliche' but it works.
This might sound cold or whatnot, but i'm honestly curious as to why so many furs apparently suffer from crippling social anxiety? Like i'm talking people 18+ age wise that can't make small talk. I can understand that the tween years can be pretty awkward (been there myself), but one would really have to actively close themselves of from everyday social interaction for that to carry on into adulthood. My concern is that asocial behavior becomes almost romanticized among certain online communities, and it becomes a "crutch" for certain people to continue to isolate themselves while refusing to put themselves out of their comfort zones and then complain how "nobody understands", despite not taking the necessary action to better themselves.
Fake it till you make it. Sounds cliche' but it works.
Llamapotamus
Member
Exactly, it's just a hassle that never goes away.
jtrekkie
Feathered
I thought I posted here. Anyway I think that people with problems socializing are attracted to communities like these, thus their relative abundance. As for myself animal people are more approachable and talking through a keyboard gives me more time. I've tried to better myself at this, I've spent time watching people and trying to mimick them, I've taken chatbots apart to see how they work, and I've even read a little psychology. Human interaction just doesn't make any sense at all. I've been faking my whole life and I still feel like I'm only parroting.
Lomberdia
Selling bookmarks!
I'm an social introvert. I love talking to folks and being around people but I recharge my batteries with my alone time.
My girlfriend's friend's son is an extreme case of introvert. Actually him and his girlfriend are. They both are so socially afraid/awkward/ whatever that they both get disability checks for it. They rarely leave the house (dunno how they even met honestly since they both so afraid of the outside world) but the son (forgot his name) is a computer genius. I send my stuff to my girlfriend's friend and she gives the stuff to her son since the son can't handle meeting new people in person without some kinda mental breakdown.
I wanna apply for disability because I'm shy (I'm not really but I used to be and can fake it)! Gimme my checks Missouri government! :V
My girlfriend's friend's son is an extreme case of introvert. Actually him and his girlfriend are. They both are so socially afraid/awkward/ whatever that they both get disability checks for it. They rarely leave the house (dunno how they even met honestly since they both so afraid of the outside world) but the son (forgot his name) is a computer genius. I send my stuff to my girlfriend's friend and she gives the stuff to her son since the son can't handle meeting new people in person without some kinda mental breakdown.
I wanna apply for disability because I'm shy (I'm not really but I used to be and can fake it)! Gimme my checks Missouri government! :V
jtrekkie
Feathered
Read up on Toucans, thought, "why the hell not?". I had to be in Roswell all day, which is full of weirdos anyway, so I had the perfect opportunity. I made several people uncomfortable and they probably think I'm insane, but it wasn't a complete failure. Thanks.
If this is how introversion works then I'm an introvert as well.
But I'm nowhere close to being shy. In the public I'm a motherfucking star.
Kinare
RAWR
I wish I could find some of the pics I'm thinking of again, but I have a lot of introverts on my FB friends list and one of them especially posts quite a few "this is how introverts are compared to you extroverts, plz understand us" pics. The basic definition of introvert is someone who absolutely requires some amount of alone time, rather than extroverts who need to be around other people. Both can have their extremes, but an extreme introvert is seen as unhealthy more often than an extreme extrovert. It's only really unhealthy either way when you get into disorders and the like.
As for the question of why so many furs seem to suffer from social anxiety, I think jtrekkie hit the nail on the head with his response. The furry fandom is basically a ticket to be whoever the hell you want, even IRL if you fursuit. Being behind a mask helps people fake their way through social situations, so it's very attractive to people who have a hard time socializing.
In my case (I think I said this before but will repeat here just in case), I'm much more social online than off simply because text gives me plenty of time to plot out my responses. That isn't a luxury I get IRL or even online voice chatting, so I prefer to just sit silently and listen instead of talk, because inevitably I will say the wrong thing at some point when I feel rushed to respond. If it hadn't been for the internet and being able to practice socializing properly I would not be what I am today. When I was much younger I had a very hard time shutting my mouth, I would ALWAYS say the wrong things just to make people go away because I didn't know how to deal with them or how to interact appropriately. I liked it that way really, but eventually I stopped liking it that way and started to take a good look at myself and ended up forcing myself to be silent because I did not want that old me to pop out. I'm better off being silent really, but it makes it difficult to find and keep friends because I still don't know all the right things to say to people, especially in situations that require fast responses or are emotionally taxing. I'm learning, but it's a slow process.
As for the question of why so many furs seem to suffer from social anxiety, I think jtrekkie hit the nail on the head with his response. The furry fandom is basically a ticket to be whoever the hell you want, even IRL if you fursuit. Being behind a mask helps people fake their way through social situations, so it's very attractive to people who have a hard time socializing.
In my case (I think I said this before but will repeat here just in case), I'm much more social online than off simply because text gives me plenty of time to plot out my responses. That isn't a luxury I get IRL or even online voice chatting, so I prefer to just sit silently and listen instead of talk, because inevitably I will say the wrong thing at some point when I feel rushed to respond. If it hadn't been for the internet and being able to practice socializing properly I would not be what I am today. When I was much younger I had a very hard time shutting my mouth, I would ALWAYS say the wrong things just to make people go away because I didn't know how to deal with them or how to interact appropriately. I liked it that way really, but eventually I stopped liking it that way and started to take a good look at myself and ended up forcing myself to be silent because I did not want that old me to pop out. I'm better off being silent really, but it makes it difficult to find and keep friends because I still don't know all the right things to say to people, especially in situations that require fast responses or are emotionally taxing. I'm learning, but it's a slow process.
I don't really get anxious when ordering food anymore. I used get it really badly when to the point where I'd need to have somebody else order what I wanted for me. But I got through it somehow. Now my main problem is speaking with store clerks (like asking which isle something is on or how much something is) and talking on the phone. Its to the point where I can't even call a friend's house. I guess I'm too afraid that I might say something really stupid or ask a dumb question. :/