Is anyone feeling pretty happy where they are right now?
- Thread starter YAYBANANA
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Borophagus Metropolis
A modern stonerage floofy woof
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Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
No, I don't like where my life is. Which is possibly the weirdest thing anyone has ever heard me say.
I have a few very, very good friemds but my life and attitude to it are mercurial. i wouldn't mind, and perhaps would enjoy, other friends in near proximity. It's like being in a buffet restaurant and every food is in it and you can take as much or little in as long as you want. So I get stuck in odd predicaments.
I see other people as being happier on the outside, but can feel when they are doing everything possible to make that front work. I've also been burned so many times, i no longer really connect fully except with a few people. Getting up one more time from being knocked down is getting harder.
Then external pressures from others like who they want me to be, to do, to act, to believe come into play. It's overwhelming, which is a poor and inadequate word for it. So everything just is one, long continuous fight. I no longer even understand if I like it or hate it or just do the motions. God, then there's the existential fears and threats.
It's hard to change unpredictability and sheer madness of chaos.
I have a few very, very good friemds but my life and attitude to it are mercurial. i wouldn't mind, and perhaps would enjoy, other friends in near proximity. It's like being in a buffet restaurant and every food is in it and you can take as much or little in as long as you want. So I get stuck in odd predicaments.
I see other people as being happier on the outside, but can feel when they are doing everything possible to make that front work. I've also been burned so many times, i no longer really connect fully except with a few people. Getting up one more time from being knocked down is getting harder.
Then external pressures from others like who they want me to be, to do, to act, to believe come into play. It's overwhelming, which is a poor and inadequate word for it. So everything just is one, long continuous fight. I no longer even understand if I like it or hate it or just do the motions. God, then there's the existential fears and threats.
It's hard to change unpredictability and sheer madness of chaos.
D
Deleted member 160939
Guest
Yes I am
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
Ok, fine, I'm here for the sexy time.
a sleepy kitty
I'm eggscellent.
Yes, but also no
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
Nope, feeling isolated and alone. Starting over yet again in life
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
Yeah, I feel that way playing Skyrim.
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
I never played that one.. wanted to lol. I have like 10 games I need to finish, I'm more into resident evil or silent hill type games
Punk_M0nitor
Resident Edgelord
I’m… trying to be. Don’t get me wrong, things are much better than they used to be. I’m finally getting therapy and substance abuse counseling, I have a job that pays really well, and I’m finally going no-contact with my family.
… But I have a lot of work and mourning to do. A lot of questions that remain to be answered. Sobriety to stick to instead of my constant relapsing. And for the love of God, moving out of a literal hoarder house can’t happen fast enough.
… But I have a lot of work and mourning to do. A lot of questions that remain to be answered. Sobriety to stick to instead of my constant relapsing. And for the love of God, moving out of a literal hoarder house can’t happen fast enough.
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
I'm also dealing with becoming sober and a recovering alcoholic with issues of relapsing. One day at a time you can do it
Punk_M0nitor
Resident Edgelord
One day at a time indeed. I refuse to be the next person in my family that goes too soon, lmao. A nasty accident in January gave me the kick in the ass I needed to start trying to get my life straight
Filter
ɹǝʇlᴉℲ
My lifestyle is comfortable enough, and I have a lot to be thankful for, but I've been at the same job for too long and there's no way up. I should probably give my two weeks notice, and show myself out. Even if that means I have to live off my savings and side jobs for a while. I'm not mentally in a good place to apply for another full time job at the moment. Mostly because my day job saps my energy.
It's been great in some ways, and I've worked on interesting projects, but the main reason I stayed left before the pandemic. It's depressing to think how I might have progressed if I left years ago. Senior management isn't going anywhere, and openly hostile to some of the things I care about, which limits the extent that I can act like myself. At least not to the extent that I could elsewhere. On Friday, somebody tried to encourage me by showing how my work helped facilitate somebody else's project, but all I could think about is how I'd rather they help me with my projects. Or, in lieu of that, I'd rather work on my own projects alone.
It's destroying my creative energy, and I feel angry about that. Not something I can show to others, so it's tearing me up inside. The opportunity costs can become soul-crushing as the years add up, and my own goals are neglected. Although I recently got a big raise, the pay still isn't competitive. They'd like to keep me, but I'm afraid I'll start burning bridges if I stick around much longer.
Then again, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, etc. My life could be a lot worse than it is, so maybe I should just suck it up and count my blessings. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
*sigh*
It's been great in some ways, and I've worked on interesting projects, but the main reason I stayed left before the pandemic. It's depressing to think how I might have progressed if I left years ago. Senior management isn't going anywhere, and openly hostile to some of the things I care about, which limits the extent that I can act like myself. At least not to the extent that I could elsewhere. On Friday, somebody tried to encourage me by showing how my work helped facilitate somebody else's project, but all I could think about is how I'd rather they help me with my projects. Or, in lieu of that, I'd rather work on my own projects alone.
It's destroying my creative energy, and I feel angry about that. Not something I can show to others, so it's tearing me up inside. The opportunity costs can become soul-crushing as the years add up, and my own goals are neglected. Although I recently got a big raise, the pay still isn't competitive. They'd like to keep me, but I'm afraid I'll start burning bridges if I stick around much longer.
Then again, the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, etc. My life could be a lot worse than it is, so maybe I should just suck it up and count my blessings. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.
*sigh*
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
I want to do something random to get creative. i was thinking maybe onlyfans.
Ok, my stand up needs to be run over. But do not get me singing.
Ok, my stand up needs to be run over. But do not get me singing.
You guys are awesome and I'm proud of you both!
RamblingRenegade
Just a Horse Trying to Avoid Life's Manure
Thank you especially after a day like today
Vanessa Howl
Damsel Of Darkness
Not in the least. My life has been nothing but a depressing mess ever since I were a kid and it has NOT gotten better: only much worse and the crushing realization that I've failed as a human.
Minerva_Minx
Explosion loving skooma cat
So have most humans. Luckily there's Halloween so I can dress up and pretend to be normal.