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Is it normal that you don't get anything in return for helping others?

ZerX

not a furry
So as I help/helped a number of people and most of the time I got nothing in return I'm wondering if this is normal expect from a thank you/thx. I don't look to get anything and this is just a question if it's normal.

I'm bored so I'm asking this.
(I just wasted 1h+ of my time helping someone config his router.)
 

thewall

Crazy Awesome
Expecting something in return all the time is selfish. Maybe if it was a simple "thank you" it would be more acceptable. But yes, welcome to the real world.
 

Cocobanana

Member
It's normal for me...
 

ramsay_baggins

WINTERFELL!
Sometimes people don't need help back, or the person you helped doesn't know how to help back.

But yeah, thank yous are the usual, in my experience. Not getting anything back shouldn't stop anyone from helping someone else though.
 

Onnes

Member
If you are frequently helping people with the unstated expectation of receiving something in return beyond thanks, then you are doomed to a life of disappointment. Help people because you want to help people, not because you hope they'll provide compensation.
 

ZerX

not a furry
If you are frequently helping people with the unstated expectation of receiving something in return beyond thanks, then you are doomed to a life of disappointment. Help people because you want to help people, not because you hope they'll provide compensation.
I don't expect it. I even wasted some of my money when I helped others (not much but still).
-
The guy I helped today is interesting. I said to him: I will be at school and when I came back from school I found lots of messages from him on my MSN. Yet I told him that I was going to school and had my MSN status set to away. Looks like some people can't even wait until you get home. Haha Also he sometimes bothers me when I'm doing school work (I just sign out MSN so I can do my work)
 
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Unsilenced

Mentlegen
The opening post sounds like a tech support request for social interaction.

"HALP. LIFE IS BROKEN????!!!!"
 

Rotsala

homosexual agenda
Yes.
 
D

Don

Guest
I never ask someone to pay me or compensate me directly for a favour. I find people who do so to be extremely selfish.
 

Schwimmwagen

Well-Known Member
I have never expected rewards for giving and being nice, mind you. They'd be hella cool to have, but I do not expect them, and I will not ask for them, nor do I need them. What is more important to me is the satisfaction of the other person.
 

ZerX

not a furry
I have never expected rewards for giving and being nice, mind you. They'd be hella cool to have, but I do not expect them, and I will not ask for them, nor do I need them. What is more important to me is the satisfaction of the other person.
I also don't, I don't even expect someone to be my friend because I helped him/her. Interesting after helping other people I feel tired. Must be because I stress myself when stuff doesn't go as planned and my nerves start to rattle. Most people feel better after helping others. I did a good thing for someone but I'm not jubilant because I helped someone. Strange huh?
 
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Schwimmwagen

Well-Known Member
I also don't, I don't even expect someone to be my friend because I helped him/her. Interesting after helping other people I feel tired. Must be because I stress myself when stuff doesn't go as planned and my nerves start to rattle. Most people feel better after helping others. I did a good thing for someone but I'm not jubilant because I helped someone. Strange huh?

Thought the difference between you and I is that you expect something in return, anyway, hence this thread.
 

ZerX

not a furry
I was just bored and ended up asking. I don't expect stuff from random people. (They also wouldn't have anything to give me as I already have most of the stuff I want)I only expect to get stuff from my parents. haha
 
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Grae Sparrowkin

Pale Red Coyote (Call me Yote)
Yes. It is totally normal. The only thing you should ever willingly receive from selflessly helping others is that warm fuzzy feeling from doing so.

Pffft. Entitlement mentalities....
 

Deo

The hatred of FAF personified
You want a reward for doing good? Being a good citizen and a good person, is about integrity, honor, devotion unto others. Doing good deeds should never be something you do because you want something in return, it should be a task you take up with happiness knowing that you are making someone else's life a just a might bit better. In this world that's something I honestly expect out of everyone, that human capacity for compassion and the urge to do good acts without thought to personal gain.

I suppose if you really do think you ought to get something for helping others you need some time to think on your actions and your desires. You need to realize that you don't need recognition from others, you don't need material things in return, you alone need to be the one who places value in your actions. You need to justify what you do. And the only justification of wanting things in return for simple help is greed or selfishness. You need to take up actions out of philanthropy, compassion, friendship, and kindness; not in the hopes that you get something in return. That's just darkly wrong.

So I'm honestly a little sickened at the OP of this thread. Service to your fellow man is necessary, indeed being a good samaritan is what makes this world and society function. For all the bad and the evil that lurks in the hearts of men, it is up to us with choice of action to choose to make the world a brighter better place, one small act of kindness at a time.

(They also wouldn't have anything to give me as I already have most of the stuff I want)
Absolutely sickening. You would ask for things beyond other people's means, things that you already own, as payment for simple human decency?
I may vomit.
 
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ZerX

not a furry
@Gibby
My parents mainly my mom buy me stuff that I want, she also buy my stuff I don't care for. I said that I don't need more clothes but she still buys them, she also buys only good brands but I don't care if it's Nike, Adidas or Puma. (She did gave away some older clothes that I didn't need to some people).
 

Ad Hoc

THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
Sometimes people can't return a favor, even if they want to. This is usually because they don't have the skills or resources to, or they do have the skills/resources but there's no real opportunity to return. (An example of the second situation: You spend an afternoon help a buddy fix up their car. Your buddy wants to return the favor and is capable of doing so, except that your car isn't broken.) So, all else aside, it's best not to expect returns for favors in general. You're too likely to be disappointed. Do it for the sake of doing it.

That said, though if you've helped someone again and again and they never seem to even try to do anything back, they're probably taking advantage of you and you are completely in the right for being upset by it. I've been in a lot of relationships like that, and they suck. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fix them or get out of them; there's nothing wrong with resenting being used.

Still, that's not really a good reason to just shut down any sense of altruism. There's a lot to be said for helping folks, even if it just for the sake of helping folks. Personally I try to give strangers the benefit of the doubt and help them as I can. Friends and family, eh, you just kind of have to gauge it over the long term. Again, you can't really expect a return for every little bit, but if it's starting to look like they're just manipulating you and have no intent of ever helping you in return, it's okay to want to do something about it.
 

ZerX

not a furry
Absolutely sickening. You would ask for things beyond other people's means, things that you already own, as payment for simple human decency?
I may vomit.
I think you didn't get the point I don't want stuff from other people. I would never ask for anything. I meant it like that I already have stuff that I need and wouldn't have anything to do with even more stuff. I don't care about having more stuff as I already have it.
 
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Schwimmwagen

Well-Known Member
I think you didn't get the point I don't want stuff from other people. I would never ask for anything. I meant it like that I already have stuff that I need and wouldn't have anything to do with even more stuff. I don't care about having more stuff as I already have it.

Then why the hell did you make this thread?
 
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