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Is it normal that you don't get anything in return for helping others?

ZerX

not a furry
I was bored and some people told me that giving your time always for free isn't a such a good idea as you end up with lots of people who pretend to be your friend just so you would help them or give them stuff. That already happened to me. My mom got angry after she saw that some guy was just coming over when he needed help with something and never cared for anything except for getting stuff done for free.He never called me or had anything to do with me expect when he needed something
 
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Deo

The hatred of FAF personified
So you made a post on FAF, to tell us about all the things you already own, and how you don't need more things. Then you tell us you made it because mommy is mad at you.

Grow the fuck up please.
 

Grae Sparrowkin

Pale Red Coyote (Call me Yote)
If they expect it more than once, don't be afraid to disappoint them.

It sounds like they were using you.
 

ZerX

not a furry
If they expect it more than once, don't be afraid to disappoint them.

It sounds like they were using you.

I can safely say that about 70% were OK and they didn't use me in any way, for the rest I can say that their main intention was getting stuff done for free (I was never close with them as I would feel really dumb being close with someone and then finding out that they didn't care at all).
 

BINKS_Wolf

Member
It is very normal. Helping others without any expectation of something in return is human nature (for most). Just remember who you help and why. Then one day when you need some help they can return the favor and be there for you (you hope). Just do not become a doormat for them to use.
 

HuskyWusky

your friendly neighborhood ass
So as I help/helped a number of people and most of the time I got nothing in return I'm wondering if this is normal expect from a thank you/thx. I don't look to get anything and this is just a question if it's normal.

I'm bored so I'm asking this.
(I just wasted 1h+ of my time helping someone config his router.)
yup it's normal, some people feel they dont need to thank and others dont know how
 

Tao

Hare Boi
This's prolly been posted but, my reward for helping others is seeing them happy. And if you're real nice you shouldn't expect anything more :D
 

Francis Vixen

Der Freischütz im Herzen
Pretend that there is some sort of karma balance in the world since it reinforces positive behaviors and discourages negative ones. Whether it is really there doesn't matter, just take the placebo and move on with your life. Something decent might happen to you in the future and you can then think back on the help you gave the technologically inept individual and give yourself the proverbial pat on the back.
 

FlynnCoyote

Takin it slow.
If you do things only because yoiu seek reward, then you`re doing it wrong. :p
 

NerdyMunk

Only a Book Smart Nerd
A lot of people are self centered and some people don't get the credit the deserve. I got used to that. I don't expect credit all the time, but when I do, I just cherish the moment.
 

Catilda Lily

May all your bacon burn.
If they want to give you something for your help they will. It's not like it should be expected...If it was it would be called a job.
 

Fay V

Lost to this world
I should offer commissions and charge grilled cheese sandwiches.
I have a long running offer for a commission if anyone ever sends me vanilla coke
So as I help/helped a number of people and most of the time I got nothing in return I'm wondering if this is normal expect from a thank you/thx. I don't look to get anything and this is just a question if it's normal.

I'm bored so I'm asking this.
(I just wasted 1h+ of my time helping someone config his router.)
Personally I think it's about looking at the long run and not the short. When you take the time to do some good it is best not to expect some immediate reward. For the most part the reward itself is the feeling of doing good, which can be incredible, just making people smile. It's nice to be recognized, it's nice to get thanks, but the real rewards is always in the long term and it will always come.

When you do good deeds and help people you are building up the world around you. When you do a donation drive for a person in need that person goes on to build themselves up and help another. When you are a good person the world around you is good and good people will gravitate toward you.
I personally have done a lot of gift art and other kinds of drives just because I liked to see people happy, and in turn that's lead me to a group of supportive friends that always have my back. In the end this is is far more valuable than whatever the immediate reward would be.
So, tl:dr. you reap what you sow.
 

Mentova

I live, I die, I live again
I have a long running offer for a commission if anyone ever sends me vanilla coke

I saw a case of vanilla coke at the store a few months ago and debated sending it to you.

On topic, I really, really hope this is a troll and not some self entitled kid. You do good things because being a good person is it's own reward. You should never expect a reward for anything. Hell I usually try to decline when people try to reward me for help.
 

thewall

Crazy Awesome
Helping others without expecting anything in return is sometimes what I do to make up for my lack of social skills. Sometimes.
 

Heimdal

has a sexy learning disability
There are plenty of people out there who expect something in return for "good deeds". The problem is that the idea of doing a good deed for another is completely nullified by wanting a payment; it just becomes an exchange after the fact. There's nothing wrong with saying, "I'll do this for you, but you gotta pony up a sandwich!" You can put a value to your time, but if you don't tell them in advance, and then get pissy about it after, you'd be the one being a dick.

You do a good deed, any reward you receive for it should be considered an unexpected gift. You shouldn't even want a reward.
 
C

cad

Guest
i hold up the door to the person after me most of the time at the trains station and such. i don't expect them to shower me with gratitude; the fact that they sometimes just say "thank you" for it, and that i don't contribute to the asshole-part of this world, is enough for me to continue doing so to people.
 

Heimdal

has a sexy learning disability
i hold up the door to the person after me most of the time at the trains station and such. i don't expect them to shower me with gratitude; the fact that they sometimes just say "thank you" for it, and that i don't contribute to the asshole-part of this world, is enough for me to continue doing so to people.

I always hold the door for people behind me. It's pretty much second-nature. I usually don't even pay attention to what they say, if they say anything. Can't have my karma too good, I think ignoring them balances it out a bit.
 

VoidBat

Member
Yes, but does it matter?
To do something without receiving any praise is normal, but there's always the feeling that the job or task have been carried out. To me that feeling matters more then just a few words or phrases.
 

Sarcastic Coffeecup

Hand. Cannot. Erase.
I jsut help people out for my own good will. Not in hope of reward.
 

Bambi

Member
So as I help/helped a number of people and most of the time I got nothing in return I'm wondering if this is normal expect from a thank you/thx. I don't look to get anything and this is just a question if it's normal.

I'm bored so I'm asking this.
(I just wasted 1h+ of my time helping someone config his router.)
Altruism is a finicky thing. As long as you value the action, than there's no cost. And looking for something in return is an invalid expectation, as what you may have received in turn was knowing that you can perform good deeds for complete strangers otherwise.
 

Bobskunk

Banned
Banned
I think the expectation of imminent reciprocation is bad; "I held the door open for you, so now you should give me a handjob." That never flies.

However, two things you need to keep in mind. First, is if the relationship (any relationship) feels one-sided, that you're always the one helping, that your acts are taken for granted, and when you are in a tight place the other person does not act in kind, with no intention to do so either. That's a little different than expecting random tokens from time to time. That's not to say "help people in need only if you think they'll also help you," quite the opposite. However, you must also keep in mind the possibility that you're being taken advantage of, both by people who don't realize it and by people who will gleefully take everything you freely give.

Be reasonable, don't have any expectations for reciprocation, but don't waste your generosity either.

ya doofus
 

k0na

Flat chest = Status symbol
So as I help/helped a number of people and most of the time I got nothing in return I'm wondering if this is normal expect from a thank you/thx. I don't look to get anything and this is just a question if it's normal.

I'm bored so I'm asking this.
(I just wasted 1h+ of my time helping someone config his router.)
Yes this is completely normal. You should not expect things in return.
 
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