It feels weird being a furry

[straferz]

It makes me feel very dreadful. The fandom has such a terrible reputation in mainstream society, that I feel ashamed to be one in any way. I don't want to be a furry, and for many years, I've tried to intercept my own identity, to avoid being seen as a freak by everyone in my personal life. Despite my attempts though, I still end up flocking right back to it in the end, because the fandom is filled with so many great and wonderful people, with similar interests to mine, that I just can't leave them for good.

One thing that I'm gonna add to my bucket list right now is:

1. Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes.

It's unfortunate that that will probably never happen in my lifetime though...

 

[Judge Spear]

If you don't want to be a furry, then just don't. If you do then keep it cool and no one will honestly give a shit. You could like mainstream shit and still be made fun of for it. So who cares?

Also, strike that from your bucket list.
A) People have been trying it and failing spectacularly for decades.
B) It's dumb.

 

[straferz]

If you don't want to be a furry, then just don't. If you do then keep it cool and no one will honestly give a shit. You could like mainstream shit and still be made fun of for it. So who cares?

Also, strike that from your bucket list.
A) People have been trying it and failing spectacularly for decades.
B) It's dumb.

I know, maybe it's a little dumb (or very), but I still think it's a fair thing to be afraid of at least to some extent. Like, if I were to be more open with people about this hobby, I could be bullied to shit, and possibly lose all my friends as well in the process.

 

[AniwayasSong]

It makes me feel very dreadful. The fandom has such a terrible reputation in mainstream society, that I feel ashamed to be one in any way. I don't want to be a furry, and for many years, I've tried to intercept my own identity, to avoid being seen as a freak by everyone in my personal life. Despite my attempts though, I still end up flocking right back to it in the end, because the fandom is filled with so many great and wonderful people, with similar interests to mine, that I just can't leave them for good.

One thing that I'm gonna add to my bucket list right now is:

1. Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes.

It's unfortunate that that will probably never happen in my lifetime though...

whew...
This is likely going to come across as stomping on all the wrong buttons, but I have to start somewhere, right?
"To Thine own self, be True."
Now, settle for a long while, and ponder that sentiment.
What do you like? Why?
What are you willing to compromise?
Getting a gist of where I'm headed with this?
You can take the word/genre of 'Furry', and then apply ANY other platform, and you're going to find yourself standing on it.
Religion? Politics? Morality? Lack of?
I am 'Me.' No one can tell 'Me' what I am. I had to arrive at this conclusion on my own. I had to take all that was taught/shown me, and live many years in the real world, making mistakes and taking my triumphs as they occurred.
Did I make adjustments along the way? Of course I did! That's what LIVING is all about (or, should be).
Furry.
Know what matters to me about this genre, and all the amazing possibilities it presents?
Freedom.
Take all of our human foibles, and prejudices, limitations both physical and mental, and then cast them into an ocean of possibilities.
Hate that you can't run/swim/climb faster? That you can't see/hear/smell more keenly? What about that morality? Is killing others for survival good or bad? Why? What if you didn't have to, and all your nutritional needs were fulfilled by other means? Hate being a mostly hairless simian? What about scales? Wings?

Furry.

Endless possibilities.

What's not to love?

P.S.
Please don't waste your time/effort/life, trying to make others believe anything.
If you feel that strongly about anything, present your perspective, offer what facts/logical conclusions you can gather.

Then, let others make up their own mind(s).

Don't fret over converting others. That'll just frustrate the piss outta ya!

 

[quoting_mungo]

Pshah. Most of mainstream society doesn’t give a secondhand fuck about furry fandom. Yeah, sure, some people do, probably in part because they’re busybodies with nothing better to do than worry about other people’s business. But most of them give absolutely zero shits unless and until you make yourself a nuisance.

You can probably get away with just doing you and keeping cool about it. No need to make a point of bringing up furries, nor any need to go to lengths to hide it. Like… a metric fuckton of brands, products, and businesses have animal or anthro mascots/logos. Werewolves are all over pop culture. And so on. Just keep on keeping on, doing your own thing.

 

[Troj]

Seriously, not being snarky or flippant here, but it absolutely helps to go touch grass. The Internet will tend to give you the impression that everyone on the planet hates furries and dreams of nothing more than to murder fursuiters immediately on sight, but the Internet isn't the whole world.

From my perspective, the fandom's reputation has improved enormously over even the past decade, thanks in large part to (among other things) TikTok and a noticeable uptick in neutral-to-positive portrayals of furries in the media (in large part thanks to the efforts of the Furscience team, heyoooo). More and more, I'm encountering normies who'll correctly use words like "fursuit" or "furry" without a hint of animus or negative judgment, and more and more, I run into young people in public who'll tell me they're furries, too.

Honestly, I think the thing we'll need to grapple with over the next decade or so is how to navigate the potential normalization and subsequent commercialization and watering-down of the fandom! I would love for the fandom to become better-understood and more widely accepted, but I'd hate for major corporations to turn our fandom into a product to be watered-down and marketed to a bunch of normies who just want shitty mass-produced fursuits and animal swag without any of that "weird stuff" or "gay stuff." Therein lies a tricky dilemma!

 

[greygamora]

It's funny hearing people ramble on about furries when I'm just sitting in the background and internally lmaoing.

 

[Filter]

The title is relatable, whenever I have one of those dreams. It starts feeling natural around the time you get used to having a tail. Then, the fun begins.

But seriously, it's a hobby. One that's older and more accepted than the fandom. No need to label yourself if you don't want to. Or, you can choose to be an ambassador for furry kind. It might be an uphill battle if you do, but either way I wish you luck.

 

[Gem-Wolf]

I think people mix furry with a sexual identity. It is not. It is a hobby, an interest and a community.
I am 39, work in administration at a well known university in my country and everyone in my office knows that I am in the fandom. They even take an interest in my art, which I show them with pride. They call me 'Wolf' in a fun way and my desk is cluttered with furry stuff. No one has a bad word to say about it.
The fandom is only misrepresented in the media. In real life, most people are cool with it. At least in the adult world. Not sure about high schools - but kids can be cruel at the best of times.
If you enjoy being part of the fandom, then be part of it. If not, then just leave and find a new interest. As for world in general - who cares?

 

[straferz]

Seriously, not being snarky or flippant here, but it absolutely helps to go touch grass. The Internet will tend to give you the impression that everyone on the planet hates furries and dreams of nothing more than to murder fursuiters immediately on sight, but the Internet isn't the whole world.

From my perspective, the fandom's reputation has improved enormously over even the past decade, thanks in large part to (among other things) TikTok and a noticeable uptick in neutral-to-positive portrayals of furries in the media (in large part thanks to the efforts of the Furscience team, heyoooo). More and more, I'm encountering normies who'll correctly use words like "fursuit" or "furry" without a hint of animus or negative judgment, and more and more, I run into young people in public who'll tell me they're furries, too.

Honestly, I think the thing we'll need to grapple with over the next decade or so is how to navigate the potential normalization and subsequent commercialization and watering-down of the fandom! I would love for the fandom to become better-understood and more widely accepted, but I'd hate for major corporations to turn our fandom into a product to be watered-down and marketed to a bunch of normies who just want shitty mass-produced fursuits and animal swag without any of that "weird stuff" or "gay stuff." Therein lies a tricky dilemma!

I'm not basing these thoughts purely off of what I see on the internet. Yes, some people online absolutely hate furries, but it's easy to just ignore them when it's happening on the internet. The thing is, in my own personal situation, my parents seem to have a pretty negative idea of what the furry fandom is, due to either due to being misinformed cuz of reading negative articles, or because they just saw them once and were like: "They're just fucking weird." I don't want my parents to see me as some sort of weirdo because of this, as they might start treating me differently than usual or something like that.

 

[Gem-Wolf]

I'm not basing these thoughts purely off of what I see on the internet. Yes, some people online absolutely hate furries, but it's easy to just ignore them when it's happening on the internet. The thing is, in my own personal situation, my parents seem to have a pretty negative idea of what the furry fandom is, due to either due to being misinformed cuz of reading negative articles, or because they just saw them once and were like: "They're just fucking weird." I don't want my parents to see me as some sort of weirdo because of this, as they might start treating me differently than usual or something like that.

Maybe educate your parents, help them understand what the fandom is truly about. Sometimes it is best to talk about things with family - although not always easy.

 

[Troj]

I'm not basing these thoughts purely off of what I see on the internet. Yes, some people online absolutely hate furries, but it's easy to just ignore them when it's happening on the internet. The thing is, in my own personal situation, my parents seem to have a pretty negative idea of what the furry fandom is, due to either due to being misinformed cuz of reading negative articles, or because they just saw them once and were like: "They're just fucking weird." I don't want my parents to see me as some sort of weirdo because of this, as they might start treating me differently than usual or something like that.

Seriously, I am very sorry to hear your parents feel that way, and that you've had to hear them make negative comments about the fandom (and--whether they intend it or not--by extension, you).

Job number one is to keep yourself safe and healthy.

Job number two is decide where you might want to go in life and then begin to pursue that path as long as it's sustainable, workable, healthy, and good for you.

Job number three is to curate and cultivate your relationships in a healthy manner, which includes communicating clearly and non-abusively with those around you, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, and limiting your interactions/contact with people who are toxic, abusive, and/or unwilling to respect your healthy boundaries.

If your parents love and respect you, they need to learn to respect the things you value, even if they don't always like or understand them. If they love and respect you, they will at least listen to you respectfully when you share authentically about your values, desires, thoughts, and feelings--and if they disagree with you or have concerns, they will communicate those thoughts or feelings in a healthy, non-abusive, respectful way.

If your parents would be the types to seriously prioritize what they read in an article or their own feelings about "ewww, weeeeeeirdooooos" over your feelings and well-being, that's a huge red flag that doesn't just start and stop with how they feel about furries.

If they're at least more reasonable than that, then often the thing that gets people to question or abandon a bias or a prejudice is to meet a person who challenges that bias or prejudice. The relatively-swift rise in LGBTQ acceptance since the start of the LGBTQ Movement been thanks in large part to many cishets realizing that one or more people they knew and cared about was queer.

But, remember job number one! If your parents are not fundamentally safe people to "come out" to, then you definitely shouldn't put yourself at risk as long as they're in control of your life or major portions of it.

 

[Kinguyakki]

I'm not basing these thoughts purely off of what I see on the internet. Yes, some people online absolutely hate furries, but it's easy to just ignore them when it's happening on the internet. The thing is, in my own personal situation, my parents seem to have a pretty negative idea of what the furry fandom is, due to either due to being misinformed cuz of reading negative articles, or because they just saw them once and were like: "They're just fucking weird." I don't want my parents to see me as some sort of weirdo because of this, as they might start treating me differently than usual or something like that.

I suppose the level of involvement you have (or intend to have) in the fandom will also affect how much you feel the need to share with friends and family. Some of us are more casually involved - we get art of our characters, may be involved in chats or forums or RP groups, or write our own stories or do our own art, but on a more private level. Others go to cons or meetups, invest in fursuits or ears or tails or shirts, or earn income by doing art or fursuit work.

I don't know you or your parents personally, or what your relationship with them is like, so it's kind of up to you how much you want to push the "I'm a furry" thing with them. Trying too hard to convince them that everything they think about it is "wrong" can sometimes lead them to think you're protesting a bit TOO much.

 

[The_Happiest_Husky]

Maybe educate your parents, help them understand what the fandom is truly about. Sometimes it is best to talk about things with family - although not always easy.

I worked on this one for a couple years, never worked. Ended up having to wait until I moved out to do anything furry related.
My mom just kindly explains that, while everything I tell her makes sense, she doesn't like furries and won't change her opinion - and my dad won't listen to anything I say about "those nasty dog f*ckers."

 

[Gem-Wolf]

I worked on this one for a couple years, never worked. Ended up having to wait until I moved out to do anything furry related.
My mom just kindly explains that, while everything I tell her makes sense, she doesn't like furries and won't change her opinion - and my dad won't listen to anything I say about "those nasty dog f*ckers."

I am sorry to hear that. Some people are just not open minded enough.

 

[Pomorek]

I used to feel really embarrassed for associating myself with this whole furry phenomenon. Though in my case it was largely an internal thing. There have been things in the fandom that were cringe for me to encounter, and it felt as if part of this cringe rubs off on me just because I'm into the fandom which also contains it.

And how did I solve it for myself: by realizing that while I sit there and worry about what the others are doing, those same others are continuing doing it and having fun. They do their stuff, I can do mine.

However about letting other people IRL know... I just don't. My societal background is one that's actively hating any oddities so I learned to be hardcore secretive about myself. I do get a little sting of jealousy when some of you guys are describing how free your environments are when it comes to exposing your interests within them. Never had that luxury.

 

[Keket]

I can understand how it feels "weird" to an extent. If you look at the "requirements" of being a furry it kind of becomes a bit less weird though.

I have always viewed being a furry as:

• Liking anthropomorphic animals.
• Liking art surrounding anthropomorphic animals.
• Having OC's or a fursona - but even this one could be up for debate.

The reasons that people view the fandom in a negative light are not because of those things. Regardless of the label you slap on it you still like those things. Liking those things is also not something that often becomes a talking point with people who do not share that similar interest. Seeing as bringing it up usually doesn't lead to valuable conversation due to their inexperience and lack of knowledge surrounding the fandom, this leads me to ask, why mention it in the first place?

That is basically how I operate in life. It is not some defining part of my personality. It is a hobby. I enjoy the community, I enjoy the art, etc. It is not something I feel some pressing need to constantly discuss though, especially with people who are not involved in the fandom.

Imagine someone tells you, "I am not really into working out." Then you proceed to only discuss topics regarding the gym, exercises, macros, etc. That is going to bore and/or annoy the heck out of said friend. It goes for everything, including the furry fandom.

Most people really don't give a crap, and if they do... Well... You probably have made liking anthropomorphic animals some sort of defining character trait...

 

[straferz]

I can understand how it feels "weird" to an extent. If you look at the "requirements" of being a furry it kind of becomes a bit less weird though.

I have always viewed being a furry as:

• Liking anthropomorphic animals.
• Liking art surrounding anthropomorphic animals.
• Having OC's or a fursona - but even this one could be up for debate.

Good point. I am still worried that my parents would even find that stuff weird, but maybe that's a bit irrational.

The reasons that people view the fandom in a negative light are not because of those things. Regardless of the label you slap on it you still like those things. Liking those things is also not something that often becomes a talking point with people who do not share that similar interest. Seeing as bringing it up usually doesn't lead to valuable conversation due to their inexperience and lack of knowledge surrounding the fandom, this leads me to ask, why mention it in the first place?

True. Most of this fear of being seen as a weirdo stems from my parents or possibly certain friends somehow figuring out about every single thing I do on the internet. Sure, the thing with friends finding out will most likely never happen, but with my parents, it is certainly possible. My parents have a ton of monitoring shit put on my devices to stop me from using them too late at night, and while they claim to not look at my search history, they are able to anytime they want, so that kind of scares me...

Imagine someone tells you, "I am not really into working out." Then you proceed to only discuss topics regarding the gym, exercises, macros, etc. That is going to bore and/or annoy the heck out of said friend. It goes for everything, including the furry fandom.

I actually have a twin brother who does that with the topic of working out. I don't really enjoy doing it that much, and he knows that. But despite that, he still won't shut up about it, and when I get mad at him for it, he just insults my skinny arms and calls me weak. I don't get it at all, since he has friends who are into the same things as him, yet he still has this philosophy that he has to pin it all on me.

 

[Bambi]

It makes me feel very dreadful. The fandom has such a terrible reputation in mainstream society, that I feel ashamed to be one in any way. I don't want to be a furry, and for many years, I've tried to intercept my own identity, to avoid being seen as a freak by everyone in my personal life. Despite my attempts though, I still end up flocking right back to it in the end, because the fandom is filled with so many great and wonderful people, with similar interests to mine, that I just can't leave them for good.

One thing that I'm gonna add to my bucket list right now is:

1. Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes.

It's unfortunate that that will probably never happen in my lifetime though...

Unfortunately, mainstream society as it's own identity isn't really in a position to judge, and I would say not to worry.

If you separate the "normal people" from the furry fandom, their niche interests ranging from computer assembly, guns, karen fight videos, cars, TikTok's, all of that, is it's own digital space and genre depending on what's going on. I feel like the stigma largely associated with the fandom is that, on it's surface, it's an empathetic culture that's out of place with what's considered "entertaining" for the mainstream.

A lot of chase and status, violence and competition, all of that, is more the bulwark of what's considered normal and mainstream. Furry stands in huge contrast to that since we're willing to be vulnerable and relate on an emotional level to what sparks us to both be creative, and re-engineer our sense of self without needing to look large and charge over someone else. It's a mutual, safe place to get involved with.

Parents not agreeing with something isn't really here or there. At some point, you have to be your own person, and unfortunately for others, asserting that and feeling safe in that takes time, and sometimes distance. Like losing the influence of your parents over your decisions, or a peer group that you used to keep. Great news is that the fandom has niches within it's niche -- it just takes time to find that. <3

 

[Keket]

"I am still worried that my parents would even find that stuff weird, but maybe that's a bit irrational ..."

Ah - I feel that struggle. When I was a teenager my mother in particular was that way about things. I think it is positive in certain aspects because they want to keep you safe - as they should. Simultaneously, it feels invasive, especially when trying to figure things out that you don't wish to talk about with them, at least presently.

I would suggest having a plan for how you would go about that discussion if it ever became necessary. I know if as a teenager I was caught off guard by either of my parents asking me "What's this furry stuff all over your PC???!" I'd do a lot better with a plan. I'd say you could go one of two ways.

1. Lie. Sure, it sounds bad. Except sometimes telling someone "I'm a furry" will cause a lot of unnecessary drama if you live with family members that would be weird about it. I'd say only inform them if you genuinely feel like doing so would not affect your mental health on a daily basis.
2. Tell them but keep it basic. If you decide to tell them keep things simple and easy to digest. I'd go with a barebones description of what it even means to be a furry and explain how you partake in the fandom to kind of ease their minds a bit. I know I've seen some "My Child is a Furry" type of videos floating around. See if one of those sums it up for you if you're having a difficult time finding the words.

"My parents have a ton of monitoring shit put on my devices to stop me from using them too late at night, and while they claim to not look at my search history ... "

Hmm, well I think in a lot of cases that sort of stuff doesn't tend to be as bad as we can make it out to be in regard to telling a loved one who's found out randomly. Sure, maybe they might not get why it appeals to you ... Similarly, if it is harmless content that you are engaging with then I would hope they would be able to recognize that. If they were looking at your browsing history chances are they've figured it out and being that they haven't talked to you about it must find it to be some sort of non-issue. Either way, just prepare in case it does come down to a talk and take things as they come.

A lot of people like this stuff without the label of "furry". From the ages 13-26 that was me. I didn't really know there was a "term", and I was fairly sheltered. My family knew that I created art that could be considered "furry" and even coming from an Egyptian family they were kind of just like, "Oh, that's a cute dog drawing." Lol.

"But despite that, he still won't shut up about it, and when I get mad at him for it, he just insults my skinny arms and calls me weak ... "

Yikes. Sounds like your brother is projecting the entire reason he began working out onto you. Hopefully as time goes on, he'll realize we all have different interests, and it's what makes people interesting.

Best of luck with everything!

 

[MaelstromEyre]

Good point. I am still worried that my parents would even find that stuff weird, but maybe that's a bit irrational.

True. Most of this fear of being seen as a weirdo stems from my parents or possibly certain friends somehow figuring out about every single thing I do on the internet. Sure, the thing with friends finding out will most likely never happen, but with my parents, it is certainly possible. My parents have a ton of monitoring shit put on my devices to stop me from using them too late at night, and while they claim to not look at my search history, they are able to anytime they want, so that kind of scares me...

I actually have a twin brother who does that with the topic of working out. I don't really enjoy doing it that much, and he knows that. But despite that, he still won't shut up about it, and when I get mad at him for it, he just insults my skinny arms and calls me weak. I don't get it at all, since he has friends who are into the same things as him, yet he still has this philosophy that he has to pin it all on me.

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. It's one thing for parents to try to monitor internet use to keep their kids safe, or to prevent them from being on it all hours of the day and night. But, if you feel like this is something that might turn into a situation where they "discover" your involvement in the fandom and make life worse for you, it's a bad place to be in. I hope you're able to get into a situation where they no longer have control or monitoring power over your devices.

 

[Ziggy Schlacht]

Sounds like the root cause of your issue with the fandom isn't the fandom itself, but your living situation. To put things simply - if you gave up on being a furry, would you feel better? I'd argue no, the furry isn't the issue... Sounds like a lack of privacy and not being treated with respect is.

But to your original point, you say "Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes" - you've got to define what that looks like. Many folks on here have pontificated on how to make the fandom better, and almost always it's... at the expense of why most others like the fandom. Typically it's get rid of the porn, and a not-insignificant part of the time it's "get rid of the LGBT stuff." I can set my watch to these posts.

That won't change, but if you're set on improving the public image of furries, I wouldn't go about it through trying to change what people do. I'd aim to get more community-service-like actions done with a furry link, so charity fundraisers done in fursuits (donate to shelters?), trash pick up with a furry-bend, that sort of think. You'll never change the "furries are horny" idea for many, but you can always aim to make people's first impression something else.

Though, as others have said, furry-hate was a meme a decade ago, but it's old. Not sure as many people give a shit. Hell, not sure that many people gave a shit then, just a vocal minority.

 

[Troj]

Many folks on here have pontificated on how to make the fandom better, and almost always it's... at the expense of why most others like the fandom. Typically it's get rid of the porn, and a not-insignificant part of the time it's "get rid of the LGBT stuff." I can set my watch to these posts.

Exactly--and a lot of that frankly misses the point and/or caters exclusively to bigots, religious fundies, middle schoolers, Kiwi Farmers, and other nobodies we frankly shouldn't let live in our heads.

I mean, I think my advice to furries would tend to be: a) tag and file your spicy art and stories accurately and responsibly, b) don't subject non-consenting parties to your personal TMI, b) be gracious and polite to the "normies" who interact with you, especially hotel and restaurant staff, c) respect others' boundaries and triggers generally (this includes not boring people with unwelcome info-dumps about your fursona or interacting with people in suit who clearly don't want to interact with you), d) give back to your local community in ways that cause people to associate you as an individual--and by extension, furries as a community--with altruism and service, and e) condemn sexual, financial, and other predators and abusers, and shut them out of the community.

If someone's basic issue is that furries are gay, furries are autistic, furries are "criiiiiiiinge," or furries are "weird," then there's often not a lot you can do to change someone's mind until they at least graduate 8th grade.

 

[Ziggy Schlacht]

If someone's basic issue is that furries are gay, furries are autistic, furries are "criiiiiiiinge," or furries are "weird," then there's often not a lot you can do to change someone's mind until they at least graduate 8th grade.

I mean, furries do have an above-average population of LGBT, autistic, cringy and weird people. We can't deny that (and that denial honestly makes it worse). But that's besides your point. Uh, to your point - folks whose entire idea of the furry community as "cringe" with no other qualifiers simply aren't interested in having their minds changed, so there's not much point in trying.

Now, I don't personally see much difference in "I base my personality around pretending to being a fox person" and "I base my entire personality around pretending I'm on a sports team so I can get irrationally angry every week." One is just somehow socially acceptable, the other less so.

 

[Troj]

Now, I don't personally see much difference in "I base my personality around pretending to being a fox person" and "I base my entire personality around pretending I'm on a sports team so I can get irrationally angry every week." One is just somehow socially acceptable, the other less so.

Truuuuuuuue!

Well, and if furries are self-evidently terrible as a whole community because of Rainfurrest, then I have bad news for football fans....

Sports riot - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org