It feels weird being a furry

[Baron Tredegar]

Good point. I am still worried that my parents would even find that stuff weird, but maybe that's a bit irrational.

True. Most of this fear of being seen as a weirdo stems from my parents or possibly certain friends somehow figuring out about every single thing I do on the internet. Sure, the thing with friends finding out will most likely never happen, but with my parents, it is certainly possible. My parents have a ton of monitoring shit put on my devices to stop me from using them too late at night, and while they claim to not look at my search history, they are able to anytime they want, so that kind of scares me...

I actually have a twin brother who does that with the topic of working out. I don't really enjoy doing it that much, and he knows that. But despite that, he still won't shut up about it, and when I get mad at him for it, he just insults my skinny arms and calls me weak. I don't get it at all, since he has friends who are into the same things as him, yet he still has this philosophy that he has to pin it all on me.

When I was growing up and paranoid about my parents going through my search history I would delete the searches I had done that I was worried about.

 

[quoting_mungo]

When I was growing up and paranoid about my parents going through my search history I would delete the searches I had done that I was worried about.

Given their parents have apparently loaded monitoring software onto their devices, I wouldn’t think deleting past searches would do much. Snoopware probably already picked it up by then.

 

[straferz]

Given their parents have apparently loaded monitoring software onto their devices, I wouldn’t think deleting past searches would do much. Snoopware probably already picked it up by then.

True, but it's probably unlikely that they'll ever look through my search history, cuz they don't really have a good reason to. It's just the fact that it's fully possible for them do to so that freaks me out

 

[quoting_mungo]

True, but it's probably unlikely that they'll ever look through my search history, cuz they don't really have a good reason to. It's just the fact that it's fully possible for them do to so that freaks me out

That's perfectly understandable, and I wasn't trying to suggest they would. Just saying deleting your search history would be of limited use as long as there's monitoring software in place.

Honestly, should they look at your history and confront you over something as harmless as furry searches, you have every right to tell them looking at it was an invasion of your privacy and you find it hurtful. Like, obviously picking a fight with your parents is a bad idea, but telling them "this is how your actions make me feel" is pretty damn reasonable.

 

[straferz]

Sounds like the root cause of your issue with the fandom isn't the fandom itself, but your living situation. To put things simply - if you gave up on being a furry, would you feel better? I'd argue no, the furry isn't the issue... Sounds like a lack of privacy and not being treated with respect is.

But to your original point, you say "Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes" - you've got to define what that looks like. Many folks on here have pontificated on how to make the fandom better, and almost always it's... at the expense of why most others like the fandom. Typically it's get rid of the porn, and a not-insignificant part of the time it's "get rid of the LGBT stuff." I can set my watch to these posts.

That won't change, but if you're set on improving the public image of furries, I wouldn't go about it through trying to change what people do. I'd aim to get more community-service-like actions done with a furry link, so charity fundraisers done in fursuits (donate to shelters?), trash pick up with a furry-bend, that sort of think. You'll never change the "furries are horny" idea for many, but you can always aim to make people's first impression something else.

Though, as others have said, furry-hate was a meme a decade ago, but it's old. Not sure as many people give a shit. Hell, not sure that many people gave a shit then, just a vocal minority.

My issues with how my parents would perceive me being a furry aren't for any of those reasons, it's cuz of the

Spoiler

zoophiles

. My brother has a really bad outlook on the fandom cuz he's seen videos of youtubers documenting the thoughts and behaviours of these people, since a ton of them happen to be furries. And one time, my entire family and I were in the car, and we started talking about furries and such for whatever reason. My mom already knew what they were beforehand, but my dad didn't. And my brother started talking about how there's some furries who 'like animals a bit too much,' to my dad. And now I'm worried that if I were to come out about this, they (my dad more specifically in this case) would perceive me as some kind of creep. Even tho we have a dog, and I would 100% never do anything like that to her EVER.

 

[quoting_mungo]

My brother has a really bad outlook on the fandom cuz he's seen videos of youtubers documenting the thoughts and behaviours of these people, since a ton of them happen to be furries. And one time, my entire family and I were in the car, and we started talking about furries and such for whatever reason. My mom already knew what they were beforehand, but my dad didn't. And my brother started talking about how there's some furries who 'like animals a bit too much,' to my dad. And now I'm worried that if I were to come out about this, they (my dad more specifically in this case) would perceive me as some kind of creep. Even tho we have a dog, and I would 100% never do anything like that to her EVER.

You should never do something that you think could compromise your personal safety - if you think your dad would be unreasonable about it it's absolutely understandable to put a bit of effort into being discreet. At the same time, your brother needs to chill - these aren't people who are zoophiles or bestialists because they're furries. At worst they're furries because they're zoophiles or bestialists. And, like... it's not like people in fandom who admit to (or are "found out to be," whether or not those accusations end up being true in the end) being zoophiles don't see massive harassment for it.

 

[Troj]

If all furries are zoophiles, then by that same token, all otakus are pedophiles, all Marvel/DC fans are misogynistic sex pests, and all football fans are vandals who'll burn the stadium down.

 

[Ziggy Schlacht]

If all furries are zoophiles, then by that same token, all otakus are pedophiles, all Marvel/DC fans are misogynistic sex pests, and all football fans are vandals who'll burn the stadium down.

Unfortunately, that's not how the human brain works. The other group is all bad, but my group is good and it's just a few bad apples.

 

[Troj]

Yep--also, people treat majority groups and groups they are familiar with differently from minority groups and groups they are unfamiliar with.

 

[Vulpus_vulpes]

It does not feel weird for me because I am used to having very contrarian beliefs and niche likings, and being a furry is not as a big of a deal for me.

You can always keep it lowkey so others do not know. You will practice that skill too- keeping things to yourself.

 

[straferz]

It does not feel weird for me because I am used to having very contrarian beliefs and niche likings, and being a furry is not as a big of a deal for me.

You can always keep it lowkey so others do not know. You will practice that skill too- keeping things to yourself.

Same. I have very left-leaning beliefs when everyone around me seems to be the opposite. I think that's why I flock to the internet more than anybody I know personally, because I want to find others who feel the same way I do. Currently, I don't know if this is a blessing, or a curse. But I guess I'll have to wait and see..

 

[Euroann]

It makes me feel very dreadful. The fandom has such a terrible reputation in mainstream society, that I feel ashamed to be one in any way. I don't want to be a furry, and for many years, I've tried to intercept my own identity, to avoid being seen as a freak by everyone in my personal life. Despite my attempts though, I still end up flocking right back to it in the end, because the fandom is filled with so many great and wonderful people, with similar interests to mine, that I just can't leave them for good.

One thing that I'm gonna add to my bucket list right now is:

1. Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes.

It's unfortunate that that will probably never happen in my lifetime though...

I keep coming back too and when I was younger even shunned the idea of furry because it wasn't manly. You're what you're. I don't see it as a problem, but unfortunately there's all kinds of dark sides to it, (and you could say this about many other fandom things - like religion of all things, omg). This is what I define the fandom for myself as: I loved my childhood - the cartoons - the freedom - the ability to express yourself and become something more than a human is AMAZING. The very idea of making a concept character into reality and being able to be an alien thing... A new CREATURE of being is lovely. That is the beauty of it for me - creating a character and becoming that creature is the ultimate freedom, one that for now is a pipe-dream away, but I've just started in the fandom and am slowly evolving by drawing furry art.

One more thing: You don't have to convince anyone, you don't have to feel bad because you can find what you want within the fandom and walk away from the stuff you don't like.

*vigorous nodding* Yep.

 

[Connor J. Coyote]

It makes me feel very dreadful. The fandom has such a terrible reputation in mainstream society, that I feel ashamed to be one in any way. I don't want to be a furry, and for many years, I've tried to intercept my own identity, to avoid being seen as a freak by everyone in my personal life.

Honestly - perhaps it's better you keep your personal interests to yourself then, if you feel that the negative reputation the Fandom has (with some people) negates your enjoyment of things. I mean - if you're that worried all that much, about what other people perceive then wouldn't it be better to just not share it then?

Based on your statements, it seems you care a lot about what others may think; and I'd probably agree with some people on here and say that most mainstream people out there don't really think of the Fandom at all in the first place, let alone negatively. And those that do, are often times the ones we could call "detractors" that probably aren't worth thinking about anyways. So perhaps your anxieties aren't worth it, and a little misplaced seeing that the majority of folks out there probably aren't thinking (what you're thinking) anyways.

One thing that I'm gonna add to my bucket list right now is:

1. Make the furry fandom acceptable in most peoples eyes.

Well, it could be argued by some of us frankly, that the Fandom doesn't need any improvements in the first place, and thus - making things more "acceptable" isn't really needed. And so perhaps, just focusing things on yourself and the people that you feel are:

so many great and wonderful people, with similar interests to mine

..........might be the way to go, instead of worrying about what the guy or lady down the street may think.
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If someone's basic issue is that furries are gay, furries are autistic, furries are "criiiiiiiinge," or furries are "weird," then there's often not a lot you can do to change someone's mind until they at least graduate 8th grade.

There are many adults frankly that are awesome people out there - who feel this way also; and so, it's not necessarily *just* the fringe groups or the uneducated. And I and many others would point out - that we wouldn't necessarily call them immature or - under the "8th grade" (as you write) simply because they might have some mis-understandings about a community they know little about and just need to be filled in on things, (assuming they're willing to listen).
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Unlike the OP however, there's a difference between filling someone in about how things are in the Fandom, versus obsessing about the negative opinions of others so much to the point that it's affecting their enjoyment of things.

 

[Troj]

To be clear, I think there's a critical and noticeable difference between a person who just has some misconceptions about furries but is open to being educated and the person who is strongly wedded to their beliefs and stereotypes and actually seems to take pride in them. I was snarking about the latter type of person.

I agree that it's generally not healthy or useful to obsess over what other people may think about the fandom or your fandom involvement. (But, I think it's normal, human, and natural to at least worry a little about our friends' and loved ones' opinions of us.)

 

[AniwayasSong]

Same. I have very left-leaning beliefs when everyone around me seems to be the opposite. I think that's why I flock to the internet more than anybody I know personally, because I want to find others who feel the same way I do. Currently, I don't know if this is a blessing, or a curse. But I guess I'll have to wait and see..

I'm officially an 'Olde Fart'. There. I admit it!
I am STILL jealous of all you younger folk who had this here fancy 'Internet thingy,' growing up! My God/dess, what I would've given for THIS INVENTION when I was a kid/teenager! It's literally Alexander the Great's Library, at our finger tips (provided the power stays *ON* and our phone/internet bill is paid current!).

 

[Kinguyakki]

I'm officially an 'Olde Fart'. There. I admit it!
I am STILL jealous of all you younger folk who had this here fancy 'Internet thingy,' growing up! My God/dess, what I would've given for THIS INVENTION when I was a kid/teenager! It's literally Alexander the Great's Library, at our finger tips (provided the power stays *ON* and our phone/internet bill is paid current!).

Same. I started getting online in the early 1990s, but at that point it just wasn't a thing most kids were involved in. In fact, any online activity was looked on as a "geek" thing by most of my classmates.

 

[AniwayasSong]

Same. I started getting online in the early 1990s, but at that point it just wasn't a thing most kids were involved in. In fact, any online activity was looked on as a "geek" thing by most of my classmates.

I had to learn enough in my old job to handle our PC's/Software (mostly regarding inventory but also a little bit of invoicing/billing), but never pretended to understand these nefarious devices. I call it 'Black Magic' only slightly jokingly! lol
I didn't really start to get close to them in the way so many do until after 2010, and that was only because my life was taking a very different turn and I had to in order to adapt to my IRL issues. I STILL don't pretend to know why/how these things work and do what they do, and I'm o.k. with that (there's more than enough who do!).
I literally learned how to type, during the first two of three years, using a manual typewriter! When the school got those fancy-shmancy new IBM electrics, with that single 'Ball'? That to me/us, was amazing! (and yes, we still had to use White-Out/Correction Tape, and carbon copy pages to make duplicate documents. By hand. It was great! I'm lying...)
Writing is why I stayed with this. Being able to manipulate text so easily is such a Godsend!
Along the way I've of course peeked in at other things, and my next goal is to learn how to take digital pictures, save them, and then share/attach them to posts and stuff. (don't laugh. everyone has to start somewhere! *RESPECT YER ELDERS!* yeah.)