No I'd say you're the norm.I've known my partner's real name for some forty-eight years, seven years before we were married. Oh well, I guess I don't fit the norm, huh?
I believe it depends a lot on where you feel “feeling each other out” stops and “romantic partner” begins. I don’t personally grok why someone would go to a dating site for the express purpose of finding a romantic partner, but I accept that apparently it works for some people. To me it would seem like a relatively reasonable safety measure to spend some time exchanging messages with Petunia42 before you share RL names, and especially full legal names. Especially especially if your name is unusual. If there’s 30 John Smiths in Brooklyn, a bad date can’t trivially find you after you try to cut ties. If there’s 30 McRareNamingtons in the entire country, the stakes are higher.I mean I definitely see where others here are coming from when they say irl/legal names don’t matter, but I’d find it a bit of a red flag if a romantic partner refused to give their legal name. I think (for one’s own safety) that their partner should give their legal name - doesn’t mean they have to be called it nor identify with it.
My Last name is unusual (Russian in origin) so if I gave you my name, it wouldn't take you fifteen seconds to find me. So yeah, for the forseeable future, I'm Kellan Tormod Meig'h to the Intarwebs.I believe it depends a lot on where you feel “feeling each other out” stops and “romantic partner” begins. I don’t personally grok why someone would go to a dating site for the express purpose of finding a romantic partner, but I accept that apparently it works for some people. To me it would seem like a relatively reasonable safety measure to spend some time exchanging messages with Petunia42 before you share RL names, and especially full legal names. Especially especially if your name is unusual. If there’s 30 John Smiths in Brooklyn, a bad date can’t trivially find you after you try to cut ties. If there’s 30 McRareNamingtons in the entire country, the stakes are higher.
I was relatively comfortable sharing my maiden name online, because I knew I shared it with multiple people, including people in the same general area. I’m a lot more hesitant to share my married name, because with it, it would be trivial for someone to doxx me. For instance.
Yup, same for me (not Russian, specifically, but I think last I checked there were like less than 10 people in the country with my surname). I'd otherwise be more open to sharing my name, but I'm not willing to practically hand people my more-or-less complete personal information, especially since I know there's people with a grudge against me out there. There's also people who just... don't like to be called by their given names, either because of gender identity or for other reasons. Either way, I'm willing to give people who are very selective or reluctant about sharing their legal name the benefit of the doubt.My Last name is unusual (Russian in origin) so if I gave you my name, it wouldn't take you fifteen seconds to find me. So yeah, for the forseeable future, I'm Kellan Tormod Meig'h to the Intarwebs.
That’s perfectly reasonable. The question I was answering, though, was whether it’s normal or not to share when you’re in a romantic relationship. And honestly, I think it should be shared. In the talking stages it’s whatever. But an actual partner should give you their real name.I believe it depends a lot on where you feel “feeling each other out” stops and “romantic partner” begins. I don’t personally grok why someone would go to a dating site for the express purpose of finding a romantic partner, but I accept that apparently it works for some people. To me it would seem like a relatively reasonable safety measure to spend some time exchanging messages with Petunia42 before you share RL names, and especially full legal names. Especially especially if your name is unusual. If there’s 30 John Smiths in Brooklyn, a bad date can’t trivially find you after you try to cut ties. If there’s 30 McRareNamingtons in the entire country, the stakes are higher.
I was relatively comfortable sharing my maiden name online, because I knew I shared it with multiple people, including people in the same general area. I’m a lot more hesitant to share my married name, because with it, it would be trivial for someone to doxx me. For instance.
I've been told that many furries don't know the real name of their furry partner. Is this common? I'm interested to know what you think.
Oh, yeah, I get that. Maybe I’m weird or an outlier or whatever, but my experience has been that “in a relationship” isn’t something that’s always clear cut. So that’s what I was expanding on. If you explicitly sit down and agree “this is the point at which we go from not-dating to dating,” then obviously that aspect doesn’t really apply.That’s perfectly reasonable. The question I was answering, though, was whether it’s normal or not to share when you’re in a romantic relationship. And honestly, I think it should be shared. In the talking stages it’s whatever. But an actual partner should give you their real name.
I believe it depends a lot on where you feel “feeling each other out” stops and “romantic partner” begins. I don’t personally grok why someone would go to a dating site for the express purpose of finding a romantic partner, but I accept that apparently it works for some people. To me it would seem like a relatively reasonable safety measure to spend some time exchanging messages with Petunia42 before you share RL names, and especially full legal names. Especially especially if your name is unusual. If there’s 30 John Smiths in Brooklyn, a bad date can’t trivially find you after you try to cut ties. If there’s 30 McRareNamingtons in the entire country, the stakes are higher.