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Koriekraiz13

kleptomaniac for knowledge
Everyone has a wee bit of original material in them for stand up, so i wanna here it! Cause if im gonna make a comedy routine, might as well use it!
 

Kit H. Ruppell

Exterminieren! Exterminieren!
The previous record for shortest adult human has been broken by a man in China named Ni Hai. When asked if he had anything to say to the world, he said he's always looked up to his brother Chin.
 

Koriekraiz13

kleptomaniac for knowledge
You know, for me. Finding a job, is excruciating! Cause either the qualifiactions are too high, or i have to ask office workers and soccer moms if they have a minute to talk about the envoirment.
Cause if i wanted to ask people, i would of actually socialized! Come on!
 

Foxy Emy

Polygenic DID System. Life is wild.
The great Napoleon once said "Women only want men who have great skills!"

Of course, I mean, the rightful ruler of Mediocrity: Mr. Dynamite.

Having great skills is overrated. At least, that is what famous Napoleon found out after being banished to a deserted island.

Greatness itself is overrated. I might not be greatly wealthy or influential. However, I am pretty smart... I wish I wasn't.

You know why?

Because, when you are smart, people expect things of you. They want you to fix their computers, be a leading neurosurgeon, and the person who finally figures out if parallel universes exist or not.... All before your 13th birthday.

Now, I don't know about any other nerds in the room, but I was the youngest of 6. My mom had 3 kids before she married my dad, and my dad had 2. If you are following the math, that makes me the only kid they had together.

So, not only did my siblings think I was supposed to be the "one they got right" since they had time to already screw up all their childhoods, but so did my parents!

Add all that to Smokey the bear telling me "only you can prevent forest fires!" and I started to believe I was responsible for saving the world!

No idea what I was supposed to save the world from, but damn it! I was going to figure it out! The world was counting on me! My parents were counting on me! My siblings were counting on me! I was counting on me!

Yeah, being smart went to my head! But it certainly didn't do my ego any favors. With great power comes great responsibility! But the more important to to the survival of humanity you are made to feel, the more any shortcoming weighs on you... Either it breaks you and you do some mental gymnastics so you don't have to acknowledge your imperfections, or you just try harder to be perfect next time.

No wonder so many of the rich and powerful are sociopathic! What doesn't kill you just gives you some new unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Being rich, powerful, smart, sexy, extraordinary, exceptional... Its overrated. Being a mediocre nobody just content to spend time with family... Now that is the life I want.

Mr. Dynamite, I salute you.
 
D

Deleted member 134556

Guest
Viking parrots call the end of days ‘Ragnarsquawk’

I’m desperately trying
 

ChozetsuDynamisch

Well-Known Member
Taking over South Korea and North Korea might get rewarded with the best hero award ever in the world! And then, after you died you find yourself in heaven, but you're now in Buddhist Heaven forever now!
 

Koriekraiz13

kleptomaniac for knowledge
You know, for me. Finding a job, is excruciating! Cause either the qualifiactions are too high, or i have to ask office workers and soccer moms if they have a minute to talk about the envoirment.
Cause if i wanted to ask people, i would of actually socialized! Come on!
A few months ago, i actually had a job interview, for a music company know for blasting out music albums. Like kim and missle, trump and bullshit, like susan and men.
And the manager. WOAH she was amazing, blonde hair, blue eyes.... smelt like raspberries the things you always check.
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
YOURS MOM!

xD

How original xD
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
I forget how cringe I am sometimes. You ever go back through old texts/forums/photos and see what you look like, or the stupid shit you say. Its even worse on the internet cause its there forever! Every butt pic, saved. Im going to be 60 and some dude who I messaged back when I was twenty is gonna ask if im still giving out. and I'd stop and look at them and say. "You weren't big enough for me to remember you. I aint giving another butt pic!"
 

The Spirit Guardian

Brother Of Ori
I've got some form of comedy, I think!

So, the sky was talking to the ground once, having a nice little conversation and such. However, the ground was in the type of mood to poke fun at the sky, so he let him have it with his jokes today.

Sky: So ground, how's things with you?

Ground: Oh, it's alright. What's up with you?

Sky: You aren't making a....sky joke are you?

Ground: No man, I know it irritates you! Besides, that stuff holds no weight to me.

Sky: Ground, stop that.

Ground: Why? Are ya gonna cry me a thunderstorm?

Sky: Ground, I'm warning ya..

Ground: Oh come on, it was a light joke! Didn't mean to strike at your lightning.

Sky: You're doing it again..

Ground: Doing what? I can't tell. Are you clouding my thoughts again Sky?

Sky: This is why you are down there. Your sense of humor is like dirt. It's bad, and it doesn't get any better the longer you have at it.
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
I've got some form of comedy, I think!

So, the sky was talking to the ground once, having a nice little conversation and such. However, the ground was in the type of mood to poke fun at the sky, so he let him have it with his jokes today.

Sky: So ground, how's things with you?

Ground: Oh, it's alright. What's up with you?

Sky: You aren't making a....sky joke are you?

Ground: No man, I know it irritates you! Besides, that stuff holds no weight to me.

Sky: Ground, stop that.

Ground: Why? Are ya gonna cry me a thunderstorm?

Sky: Ground, I'm warning ya..

Ground: Oh come on, it was a light joke! Didn't mean to strike at your lightning.

Sky: You're doing it again..

Ground: Doing what? I can't tell. Are you clouding my thoughts again Sky?

Sky: This is why you are down there. Your sense of humor is like dirt. It's bad, and it doesn't get any better the longer you have at it.
Screen Shot 2022-04-03 at 11.55.00 PM.png
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
Honestly, that's just some of the odd humor that floats around in my head. Believe it or not, that was all off the top up my head, coming up with sky and clouds puns as I went along.
Steamy
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
Now I just gotta come up with something better than that! Thats the bad thing about having smart friends, there is this huge competition. I wanna surround myself with stupid people. THAT WAY I can feel better about myself.

Thats where I'm at in my life. Its something that happens slowly as you get older.
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
What did the hunting rifle say to the hunter?

I'm worth the bang for your buck!
*shakes head*

That one didint quite hit the target. You can try another shot but I think the crowd ran off after that one.
 
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