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Loques Pictures (Critique wanted)

Loque

New Member
Loques Sketchbook (Critique always appreciated)

Hi guys,

have started drawing recently (Three quarters of a year with actual literature aid) for fun and enjoying the journey (also been asked for commissions and stuff which I only see as a nice byproduct). But i'd always like to improve so i thought why not show them around on FaF? Without further ado, these were my last illustrations. Posting them as links so the thread won't get too cluttered.

Would really like if you take your time to look at them a bit, the biggest problem i face atm is all stuff considering lighting and shading and also didn't do many compositions. Also my stroke is okay-ish but still far from sniper-steady, maybe i should buy a pair of glasses...


http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17036856/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17027585/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16985720/
 
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Fidchell

Time destroys everything.
Hey, Loque, I've done a redline of your first picture. I hope you don't mind. https://www.dropbox.com/s/0gbfpb71s5sfp1q/leomonredline.jpg?dl=0

First thing I noticed is that by the implied shape of the head (my outline may not be what you were thinking of, but I'm focusing more on the cross in the middle) things look a little off. The eyes are fine, but the mouth isn't aligned. The ears are also positioned strangely.

The second thing going down are the shoulders. His left shoulder is too low, and considering his build, I can see that it'd be larger (unless he trains with one arm). Going down that same arm, you can see the elbow shouldn't be as visible as you've drawn here. The hand looks awkward too, considering all the fingers look almost exactly the same. The index finger and pinky finger would be shortened in length.

Going back up, let's go to the left arm. The way the shoulder muscles look here is strange. The trapezius needs to connect to the deltoid a little better here. Let's go down the arm now. I would like to complement you on the foreshortening here. Good work! The way he grabs the sword handle's circular tip is strange. As you can see from what I've drawn, the shape is going through his fingers. You have to wrap the fingers around the shape. I would recommend drawing the circle first and then drawing the fingers around it.

Back up the arm, the curve you've drawn for his armpit I'm not so sure about. Unless he has some excess fur/skin, that wouldn't look right. You can see how I've connected the muscle to the ribs. Now to the torso. I've drawn a line according to the angle I feel you are trying to go for here. You can see the pectorals and abs are not the proper shape in relation to the line, and the navel isn't aligned either.

Last thing is down to the foot. I'm not sure how to describe what you've drawn here, but the foot looks pretty square. There's no definition or depth in the foot's shape. Look closely at what I've drawn here. You can see that the curved line on the left disappears before the first toe. I'd recommend looking up references for lion paws.
 

Loque

New Member
Wow, thanks for taking your time with that profound critique! Will definately look for things like that when gesture sketching. It's a real challenge when the pose ref has a different build than the character you want to draw.
Guess it's time for some shoulder and paw studies...

Kinda derpy mistakes i made there... XD
 
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Loque

New Member
Soooo, did a commission for someone on G+ (not very active on FA), he and his friends were super happy about it! Was totally excited to do this and i think it shows (he basically bought a colored sketch and I went over the top with about *everything* ) Really made my day, but I'd love to hear some critique to improve kinda as a lessons learned :3 Already taken some advice about the lighting and shading from a nonfur friend of mine during creation of it.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17089753/
 

Fidchell

Time destroys everything.
Hello again, Loque. Firstly I want to say that you've done a pretty nice job on the perspective on the Tardis, and the character in general looks pretty good too. Of course there are some issues that I want to touch up on real quick for you. I've provided a redline. https://www.dropbox.com/s/0lqzov650wab2ld/1436772500.dampfloque_drstarchaser.png?dl=0

Starting from the head, it appears you've attempted to make certain features a lot smaller because of the 3/4 perspective, but honestly they wouldn't be as small as you've drawn them here. The eye and ear are the two biggest offenders I see in the picture. For that side of the head (to his left), the facial structure is also questionable. You can see what I've drawn in this section. From that angle, the forehead line would stop at the eyebrow at a slight curve, then the shape of the eyelid and eyeball underneath would take form. After that, there's a more rounded out curve underneath that gives shape to the cheek. What you've drawn here looks a little too bulbous and flat.

Next up is his left arm. The jacket looks like it's getting a lot tighter around the middle of his arm and I'm not sure why this is. The sleeve usually retains the same width all the way through. You've done a good job on where it ends on the wrist though. Just keep that in mind. Clothes can be tricky. Another thing that is pretty tricky is fists. Down to his left fist, you can see that the thumb doesn't necessarily end where you've drawn it. It should wrap around the index finger partially.

Moving over to his right fist, you can see that the index finger looks way too curved. Do a fist like that with your own and you can see what I mean. It's a little more flat along the bottom. Also, the structure of the thumb here is a little off. Just move the left line closer to the device he's holding.

Next I want to go over the tail. The only issue I have with it honestly is that it gets skinnier the closer it goes to his main body. I understand why you would do this, but typically a tail has the same diameter no matter how close to the body it is. Last thing is his pose and left leg. The position of his leg makes him look like he's about to fall backward. All I suggest is moving the left leg a bit more to his left so that there's some balance.

Hope this helped!
 

Loque

New Member
Aaah! Again very helpful of you, thanks for taking your time! You seem to have a sharp eye for form and body shape, even my friend who is actually quite good (does more 3D stuff now, though) didn't notice those things and jumped straight to the lighting issues. I tend to be quite finicky with shading and lighting, was nearly not dramatic enough until he suggested some more highlighting. Come to think of it, yeah i do this head shape mistake all the time without anyone noticing :D Wonder where this came from... Totally agreeing with the fists and tail!
 
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Loque

New Member
Sooo this friend of mine challenged me to do something with dynamic perspective and foreshortening! Asked like a bajillion people for form/proportion errors, I think it was also the simplicity of the character to draw that most people had a hard time finding any (young character). Tried a lot of painterly effects and also: Felt-Pen shadows and Lens Flares! xD


1438116280.dampfloque_frisbeeeewip.png
 
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Fidchell

Time destroys everything.
Aaand another update! Finally got this thing with the picture urls right...

1438882085.dampfloque_sitshlbnbunitv1.jpg

Hey, Loque. The intensity of this piece is nice and the way you colored it is a big factor to that. I also like the texture you've given the suit. I thought I'd focus more on the gun this time around. The proportions seem to be all over the place in some spots, for example, the stock looks very skinny in comparison to the rest of the firearm. Some of the line work is not spread across the gun in a cohesive manner, such as the two sets of six slanted lines you've put on the barrel. The shading on the gun also makes it look quite flat, to be honest. The focused light source here seems to be from the muzzle of the gun itself, so make the gun darker as you get closer to the stock and add some shading along the edges as well. Where are the additional light sources in this one, by the way?
 

Loque

New Member
Hi Fidchell!

Oh yeah, dat gun xD I really know that there are a lot of problems with Detail on it, see ax160 for reference. I tried to mimic the CoD Version of it. Also it's kinda big but i sticked with it to suit the bulky character (i felt subconconciously influenced by Unreal Tournament) Well Kind of a big deal considering i put it in the golden cut xD

There was also a Problem with the one additionaly light source i've planned during sketching, wanted to make a neutral white light source Come from the Front but it added up so badly with the muzzle flash that i toned it down. A lot. Was kinda a monkey house Problem tbh. Really need to take even more time in every refinement step.

The monkey house is also the reason why i don't Like fixing finished pictures. I Like taking the advice to the next picture, in case you're wondering. I really appreciate the time you're taking for crit, thanks a lot ;3
 
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