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Marius vs Mambi

Who is the one you want to see in victory?

  • Mambi

    Votes: 4 30.8%
  • Maruis

    Votes: 5 38.5%
  • Can there truly be a winner here?

    Votes: 4 30.8%

  • Total voters


Fun loving kitty cat
<the sun shines majestically along the shores of a beautiful lake...the birds tranquil in the trees as squirrels scamper about dutifully. Suddenly a shimmering hole appears in the air, and a sleek black cat emerges, his eyes glowing brightly as he steps onto the soft grass. The glow fades as the portal closes and the cat speaks to the skies>

Attention those who watch the multiverse...may the next fight begin!!!

In the one corner...we have the portal casting cat himself, @Mambi !!! <the cat turns and bows playfully, waving at nobody>

In the other corner, we have the original bird of prey himself, the avian chaos himself, @Marius Merganser !!! <another portal opens and the bird tumbles out of it surprised, landing in the water with a sputtering splash as the cat laughs.>

<the cat giggles softly as you swim to shore>
Sorry, couldn't resist, but yet...wanted you to feel at home right away, because I care! Anytime you're ready, sunshine! <teehee>
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Cats! <Marius mutters under his breath as he reaches the shore. He shakes his body and ruffles his feathers in an attempt to splash the cat>

Now then. My name is Marius <he says with a bow> and *I'm* a merganser <he adds proudly as he returns to full height of 3.5 feet>

<He twirls his long pointy stick with a flourish before pointing the business end directly at the cat and charges>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat simply laughs and opens a portal in front of you, as you and your stick disappear into it, reappearing facing the water and coming within feet of falling in again, as you turn back towards the grinning cat>

Marius is it? Pleasure to meet you then! <bows and opens a portal behind himself and falls backwards into it disappearing with a wave. You hear laughter as you watch him re-appear tumbling out of another portal a few feet away beside you, and flashes his razor-sharp claws with a wide smile> You're gonna be a fun toy, I can tell! <giggle>
It is, Marius. And are you ATLAS or P-Body? (That's a Portal reference.) <he whispered, breaking the fourth wall>

<Turning his attention back to the cat, Marius leaps backwards and twirls his stick as he cautiously continues to walk backwards toward the shoreline.>

Careful, you're not the only one with pointy bits <Marius opens his bill enough to show off the many, sharp serrations>


Fun loving kitty cat
More of a smarter GLADOS fan myself <the cat looks at the open beak and grins> Awww, that sure looks sharp all right. You hungry? Here! <the cat opens a portal directly in front of your mouth, and lake water pours from it carrying a fish with it depositing it in your beak. The portal closes as the cat laughs harder at the flopping fish tail> Always good to fight on a full belly and a nice shower! <the cat ducks and rolls to the side as you shake off more water, again>
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<Marius tosses his head back, flipping the fish into the air and catching it again head first into his bill. He swallows it whole, as mergansers do>
Oh, sorry. Did you want some? <shooting the cat a smug smile>
<He continues to step back until he's wading in the water and beckons the cat to follow>


Fun loving kitty cat
Thanks on that, but more of a tuna fan myself...sorta! Cooked doesn't hurt either <winces and wiggles his whiskers, then grins and slowly walks towards you by the water...just placing the tip of his paw in it>

Damn, if I have to be wet, I'd prefer warmer. <sigh> Ah well...you get what you got! <he takes a few steps back and runs towards the bank in line with you. As he approaches the water, he takes a dive into the water between you both, and at the last second opens a portal above the water and falls into it soundlessly. As you watch him disappear, you are suddenly drenched by a large splash from behind you as the cat cannonballs into the water. He instantly disappears from another portal underwater by your feet and re-emerges on the shore, dripping wet as the water follows him from the hole to the shore but still laughing as he closes it behind him>

Ok, gets warmer after the first dunking...as you can see! <teeheehee> Now...let's see what you can do, aside from point a stick at me and retreat that is. <snicker> I'll swim more in a moment once the fur gets used to it. <grins and shakes to dry off>
That drowned-rat look does nothing for you.
<Marius casually does the backstroke in little circles>
And there's no need to retreat when the best you can do is splash a waterproof duck. Besides, you're the one who just retreated.
<Marius stops short and reaches into his pocket, pretends to pull out a cell phone and hold it to his ear as if to answer a call>
Hello? Yes, he's here...OK. <He mimes returning his cell phone to his pocket and taunts the cat> Aw geez, Mambi! Rick Sanchez called. He-he-he said he wants his portal gun back.
<He grabs his pointy stick and watches for a portal to open so he can stab wildly around him>


Fun loving kitty cat
Retreat? HA! I prefer to call it a withdrawal to safety that allows me to plan...ok fine, "retreat" is quicker to say in the heat of battle! But such an ugly word...<sticks out toungue> Still, you're right, I really should do a little more than splash the duck, I'll give you that. Not the best plan...but I have many MANY others! Did you know for example that lava hardens almost instantly in water?

<you wonder what he means when a portal suddenly opens several feet behind you. From it comes a wave of heat and a reddish liquid hits the water with an explosion of steam, blinding you as it hisses. You feel it rushing the water back as you try and wave away the sudden hot fog, hearing the water boiling from somewhere in the fog. Suddenly the hissing ceases and a breeze forms, and as the steam fog clears, you see a new rock formation has formed behind you cutting off the lake with no sign of the cat. You then hear him laughing from atop the peak of the mini-island> Good view from here, feathers! Makes me hungry for some steamed duck! <laughs and tosses a small pebble at your head with a grin>
<With a flick of his wrist, Marius bats away the pebble with his stick. Recovering from the shock of seeing an island, he sneers>
So you've gone from splashing me with water to splashing me with...water vapor? Ha! No need! The hens think I'm pretty steamy already. <Dramatically runs his fwingers though this crest> Know what I mean? Yeah, ya do!
...Anyway, now that the water's nice and warm, why don't you join me? <He pats the surface of the water next to him then readies his stick>



Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat laughs merrily at the comment on the hens> Hahaha, well you're about to break a few hearts after this match! I'll try and leave you still looking pretty if I can help it, but no promises!!! <the cat laughs wickedly and flashes his claws again. He quickly opens a portal beside himself and dives in, crashing into you from your left side suddenly from a shimmering hole that appeared out of nowhere and slashing at your stick as he falls, shaving some wood from it as he lands in the water as well. You recover instantly from the fall of course, while unfortunately for him, the cat splashes about trying to stand in the subtle shifting currents of the water>

Ok...crap, crapcrapcrap...maybe not the best plan??? <he smiles at you innocently and shrugs while wiping his eyes, hoping you don't notice he can't form a portal right away...>
<Marius strikes at the disoriented cat, whacking his side with his stick; it's not a particularly devastating blow, but it looks like it stings at least. He dives under the water leaving barely a ripple and grabs onto Mambi's tail...>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat winces a little at the stick whacking and shaking his head to try and clear the water from it, yelps suddenly as he feels his tail suddenly grasped tightly. He closes his eyes and flails wildly, splashing and thrashing all about as you maintain your hold on the wild cat. Then with a sharp sting you feel a random swipe of the cat's back claw slice lightly on your arm and you reflexively let go as the shock of the sudden pain shoots through you, sending the cat tumbling in the water ungracefully. You examine your cut while the cat sputters and tries to wipe his eyes frantically...small shimmering holes opening and closing around him randomly as he tries to regain his bearings and escape to regroup...>
<Marius drops his stick to grab his wing-arm and it floats away unnoticed. While the cut isn't horrible, it's more than enough to damage his carefully maintained feathers.>
Aw, not my speculum!
<He glared at the cat and flared his crest before slipping beneath the surface again. He propelled himself like a torpedo directly at the cat, hoping to latch on before he can portal away>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat sputters more as he wipes his eyes harder trying to clear them, and searches frantically for any sign of his avian opponent. He looks down and sees at the last second the bird rocketing towards him underwater. With a high-pitched scream, he quickly opens a portal in front of his feet and the lake starts to drain through the hole, taking you with the whirlpool. With a splash, you fall through the hole on the top of the island, landing on the rocks with a wet thud as water continues to pour through it by the gallon. The cat closes his eyes and jumps through the water hole and water-slides to the island beside you, everything dripping wet>

I am not going to need a bath after this caper, for sure! <snicker> But you might! <a small portal quickly opens in front of you and a plume of volcanic gases and dust engulf you, stinging your eyes and throat> Let's see how YOU like it, birdie! <giggles and ducks for fresh air as he closes the portal and waits for the dust to clear to see it's effect>
<The dust starts to settle and the cat sees the silhouette of Marius on bent knee and lowered head. The air clears and Marius slowly stands, wobbly at first, his feathers disheveled and covered in ash. Already breathing hard, he glares at the cat and breaks into a sprint leaving little puffs of ash with each step. In only a few feet of distance he flaps his wing-arms and once up to speed becomes airborne. Like a missile locked on target, he barrels in Mambi at full speed with a pointy bill in the lead.>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat laughs at the bird's direct approach> Haven't we been through this already? All I need is a second and...<as you run towards the cat at full speed, his eyes glow and a portal forms mere inches directly in front of you. Moving too fast to stop, you fall though the portal and find yourself suddenly face-to-face with a large transport truck in the middle of the highway. With a scream you turn and dive back into the still-open portal just as it closes and you hear the cat laughing maniacally...>
<Marius emerges through the portal of origin just before it closes, clipping a nanometer off his mangled tail feathers . With no time react he collides head first into the cat, knocking both of them to the ground and sending them back several feet. The cat tries to recover but Marius pins down one front leg. As the other comes up to claw him, Marius is forced to bite the arm; it's not a lot of bite-force but it hurts and if Mambi tries to pull away, the serrations will do some damage.>

Er've gert you newr! <he says with his bill clenching tight and struggling to stay on top>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat yelps as he feels your beak around his arm, like sandpaper made of knives against his skin. He reflexively stays still, knowing thrashing will only make things worse. Looking up at the bird pinning him, he knows his options are limited and starts to panic. Taking a deep breath, he tries one desperate gambit...forming a portal suddenly below you both, he falls through it dragging you along as you hold onto his arm and he screams in pain. Falling completely through with a surprising splash, you both find yourselves suddenly deep under the middle of the lake, the cat's head quickly sticking out of another portal as he starts sputtering and gasping for air, the lake water rushing around his neck. As you hold onto the cat's arm, you realize YOUR head is still totally submerged and you feel your lungs starting to burn as they cry out for precious air...burning more and more with each passing second! Finally you are forced to let go and surface as the cat falls through the hole and you see him land back on the island as you gasp for air. He examines his bleeding arm and grins>

Oooooo...you are very good when you want to be! No more underestimating you it seems...<licks lips and plans his next move...>
<Marius breaks the surface of the lake and gasps for breath, dejected that he lost his grasp. Seeing the cat on the distant shore, he takes the time to splash a bit, washing away the last of the ash and cat fur and return some order to his feather alignment. He was quite displeased with how much preening he would require. Having caught his breath, he collects his forgotten pointy stick as it gently floats by.>

You like that, huh!? <he smiles> What else you got?

<He starts to casually swim towards the shoreline>


Fun loving kitty cat
<the cat grins an evil grin> You want to know what I got birdie? I can portal from anywhere to anywhere! I've been playing around but if you want a real taste of the chaos...this one's gonna hurt! <he cracks his claws and his eyes glow brighter then ever>

<Silently as you are swimming to shore, a portal suddenly opens beside you and without warning a large dolphin barrels into you knocking you onto the shoreline. As you roll over and try to adjust to land, you suddenly find yourself facing a portal and looking at your own backside. Spinning around you see the same thing from the other portal! During your distraction, the cat leaps at you with his claws from your side and slices your stick in half as he flips over you and lands gracefully on the opposite side. He laughs and dives aside as the portals suddenly shift and opens in front of you...just in time for the horses from a nearby race track to barrel into you, trampling you and knocking you back into the water as they splash and whinny in the water with surprise. The cat dives into the other portal as you shake your head...just as a shadow appears around you. You look up just in time to see the open maw of an angry tiger shark emerging several from a portal above your head as the cat laughs wickedly from the shoreline having fallen safely from a portal in the sky...>
<Without a little cocktail umbrella to hold over his head, Marius cowers in a ball and the shark lands mouth first over him before flopping into the water. It swims off and Mambi stands on the now duckless shoreline watching the shark slip beneath the surface. He scans his surroundings and the still water, but it's eerily quiet. After a few moments, the cat smiles to himself, believing it was over and turns to admire the horses.>


<Mambi stops short and scans the horizon but sees there is nothing but stillness. He turns back toward the horses but then he hears it again. Louder this time...>


<The cat focuses his gaze at the water beyond the horses and stares with wide eyes and mouth. Just below the surface, the shark is barreling toward him with a very determined little duck riding on its back. But the duck's maniacal laughter didn't cause him to panic for he knew sharks can't go on land! The cat's smug smile suddenly fell away, for that was information that the horses didn't know. As the frightened horses stampede away from the shark and into his direction, the cat turns to open a portal but it was already too late. He is knocked over and trampled before the horses disappear into the portal which closes behind them.>

<Meanwhile, the shark turns hard before beaching itself and Marius hops onto the island. When Mambi comes to, he looks up to see the duck standing over him, pointing what's left of his stick at his face.>



Fun loving kitty cat
Ouch! <the cat rubs his head> Ouch, ouch, ouch!!! Nice one though...I give you that! <snicker> Anyway welcome back! Nice stick..if not a little shorter I see. You're far too wet though after all that, even for a duck. You need to dry off a little, you stink of shark rot!!! <He digs his back claws subtly into the ground and as his eyes glow, a portal opens above him in front of your chest. From it a hellish hot wind blows you backwards as the cat holds on to the earth tightly.> The planet Mercury has some wild weather this morning, doesn't it? <He rolls to the side and the portal shifts...suddenly a hellish heat emerges from it singing your feathers and boiling the water around the portal opening, a blinding light emerging from it dazzling you> ...but not as hot as the surface of the sun I bet!!!

Awww, too hot? Here, let me help! <as you try and stand up, another portal emerges from the other side of you, and a freezing gale and snowy blizzard suddenly hits you, burying you in a pile of ice and snow. The cat laughs as the portal closes and the pile steams in the hot sun, your singed feathered body both shivering and sweating a the temperature extremes it just went through>
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<Marius pops his head out from the pile of snow and shakes the excess from the top of his head.>

I guess you didn't know the red-breasted merganser's range extends north of the arctic circle. We swim in ice water all the time. How about YOU!?

<With that, Marius throws two wet snowballs at the cat, striking him in the face with a satisfying "piff" sound.>

You can throw the whole solar system at me, but this duck doesn't back down!

<While Mambi scrambles to wipe the from his face, Marius hops out of the snow pile and once again collects his half-pointy stick as he charges. This time, he uses it to sweep the cats hind legs out from under him but continues to run past, on the lookout to avoid any portals>