Most maddening thing in the furry fandom?

[Fay V]

I honestly dislike the complete and utter lack of social tact, particularly in two forms. 1. The failure to recognize polite conversation and 2. Pushing expectations on someone.

The first we've seen in this thread, with that asinine argument about talking about porn in public. There was a saying that in mixed company you do not discuss religion, politics, or money. Apparently some people take offense to this and view it as some "My opinions must be heard at all times!" which is just a lack of social awareness on the whole.

There is no moral high ground, there is no protection of the truth or of culture and diversity in this regard. It's a disrespect to diversity. People that insist on porn being free, and that it should be applicable in all situations, and they should not feel pressured to hide it do so because it is a cornerstone of their own identity. If it is something that does not matter to you then it is no trouble to not talk about it with a non-receptive audience. I don't give a damn about my own sexuality, you'll find it rarely comes up in polite conversation. funny that.
Those that refuse to dial it back at all will always rationalize it. There's nothing wrong with sex, you're a prude, or whatever else. It's a natural burning desire that everyone should rightfully have.

Ever consider, just for a moment that it isn't fear, prudishness, or discomfort? Some people just really do not care about sex in general. Not that the world shouldn't, or they think it's gross, or whatever. It doesn't even mean they don't have sex regularly. It's just not at the forefront of the brain all the time.

Let's put this in context of something else. Pokemon cards. Imagine for a moment you are having a conversation with someone for the first time and they immediately bring up pokemon cards. Whatever your knowledge or interest is on the subject it doesn't matter, they wish to enthusiastically discuss the subject. You could say "I don't really want to talk about that" and get called a prude and just afraid of it. what?

It's the same thing. Yes some people are afraid, grossed out, or prudish. That doesn't make you right. There is nothing wrong with se but to bring it up in such a manner is rude as hell because it means you care more for your own interests than to actually find what the other person likes and has in common with you.

This isn't just sex, a lot of furries do this with goddamn everything. They don't understand that people do not enjoy all things they enjoy, and sometimes the situation is not set up to humor your hobbies. If I am eating dinner I don't want to see the porn you just purchased, or the toys you just got, or whatever else you strictly enjoy. I don't give a shit about your diversity, I want my steak.

This leads into the second, furries that expect others to meet their own expectations for how someone should be, and label them. This is an entirely unempathetic and selfish practice. a furry labels you their friend due to whatever qualities, but then expects you to send messages in notes, wish them happy birthday or take part in their games. It doesn't matter if you dislike such things, it doesn't matter that you were unaware of these expectations, it doesn't matter that you are busy with your own life. If you fail to meet this, if you had the gaul to say kind words now and then but failed then to send random notes of greeting or let them have something they wanted, you are a bitch. A stuck up, elitist, selfish bitch.
I hate this attitude, I really do.

Or perhaps you are a fursuiter, but if you don't dance, or play, or do something else they like you are bad. If you don't have a certain style you suck. If you don't accept all furries no matter what you are mean, or if you choose to point out when someone is wrong you're a bitch.
Furries aren't accepting. They just want people to meet what they expect for their labels when they label them, regardless of who that person is, what is going on in life, and how they are an individual.

 

[Heliophobic]

Long walls of text.

Furries seem to love that.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

fay can you be my husband

 

[Fay V]

fay can you be my husband

Maybe if you woo me with poetry. I warn you, my last undying FaF love used Keats.

 

[Mentova]

This leads into the second, furries that expect others to meet their own expectations for how someone should be, and label them. This is an entirely unempathetic and selfish practice. a furry labels you their friend due to whatever qualities, but then expects you to send messages in notes, wish them happy birthday or take part in their games. It doesn't matter if you dislike such things, it doesn't matter that you were unaware of these expectations, it doesn't matter that you are busy with your own life. If you fail to meet this, if you had the gaul to say kind words now and then but failed then to send random notes of greeting or let them have something they wanted, you are a bitch. A stuck up, elitist, selfish bitch.
I hate this attitude, I really do.

Oh man, I've seen this shit before. I remember one time I had a friend on FA who just kinda vanished and stopped talking to me much. So naturally we kinda grew apart. When she came back I'd comment on a journal every now and then and be polite, but never really talked to her more than that. She flipped the fuck out on me one day over stupid shit and I remember one of the things she said was along the lines of "You hop in and out of my life for whenever its convenient for you." As if friendships are entirely one sided and I am expected to worship and devote all my time to her. Lets forget the fact that she literally fell off the face of the earth for a few months without contacted me, even when she returned.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

Maybe if you woo me with poetry. I warn you, my last undying FaF love used Keats.

Don't be fooled by the masks I wear,
For I wear a thousand masks,
And none of them are me.
Don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,
That confidence is my game, and coolness my game,
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
That's why I create a mask to hide behind,
To shield me from the glance that knows -
But such a glance is my salvation.

You may wonder who I am.

I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
And I am you.

 

[Deleted member 82554]

Maybe if you woo me with poetry. I warn you, my last undying FaF love used Keats.

“Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art--- Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night And watching, with eternal lids apart, Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite, The moving waters at their priestlike task Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--- No---yet still stedfast, still unchangeable, Pillowed upon my fair love's ripening breast, To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, And so live ever---or else swoon in death. ”

 

[Antronach]

Fay V for president yay :V

On that note, furries that take it way to seriously, like those that feel the need to 'come out' as a furry or tend to steer conversations onto something furry or whatnot. I swear it feels like I developed my snark cause being nice to these guys was too taxing. Like seriously it's a hobby/fetish, treat it like one. And if it is a lifestyle, well read Fay V's post.

 

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

Maybe if you woo me with poetry. I warn you, my last undying FaF love used Keats.

I will outwoo Gibby

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead man naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

It's not pretty, but it is my fave poem :V

Have a song with the same name http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjEyX2KSYUM

 

[Fay V]

Oh man, I've seen this shit before. I remember one time I had a friend on FA who just kinda vanished and stopped talking to me much. So naturally we kinda grew apart. When she came back I'd comment on a journal every now and then and be polite, but never really talked to her more than that. She flipped the fuck out on me one day over stupid shit and I remember one of the things she said was along the lines of "You hop in and out of my life for whenever its convenient for you." As if friendships are entirely one sided and I am expected to worship and devote all my time to her. Lets forget the fact that she literally fell off the face of the earth for a few months without contacted me, even when she returned.

Yeah I've had this happen before. Met someone at con, found we had nothing in common, went our separate ways and I was neutral on the matter. they flipped out at me months later saying I hated them because I didn't send random friendly notes (I don't do that with anyone, and they never did that with me) and just all this shit.

People are in many respects very selfish. I'm not exempt from this either. There's plenty of people that I don't talk to because they don't meet my expectations for behavior, the difference I suppose is I forget them and move on. I don't push it unless they come back demanding something of me.
Part of what I hate is how people treat online interaction like it's real life. I'm not saying online friends aren't real, but don't expect me to treat you like I see you everyday. Yeah if my irl friends go missing for a week I'll go after them, if it happens online I assume you're busy, or just not that into it anymore so whatever.

Don't be fooled by the masks I wear,
For I wear a thousand masks,
And none of them are me.
Don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure,
That confidence is my game, and coolness my game,
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
That's why I create a mask to hide behind,
To shield me from the glance that knows -
But such a glance is my salvation.

You may wonder who I am.

I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.
And I am you.

Well done, it's no Keats but it's a damn fine poem.

Fay V for president yay :V

On that note, furries that take it way to seriously, like those that feel the need to 'come out' as a furry or tend to steer conversations onto something furry or whatnot. I swear it feels like I developed my snark cause being nice to these guys was too taxing. Like seriously it's a hobby/fetish, treat it like one. And if it is a lifestyle, well read Fay V's post.

Eh people can make it a lifestyle if they want. To some it actually honestly is. It's their entertainment, their friends, their livelihood. Just don't expect it to be like that for everyone. It is annoying talking to people that treat it like a persecuted lifestyle. That you have to come out and face negativity. That gets old really fast because often they're just so pessimistic over every little thing. Someone didn't greet you with open arms? FURSECUTION!

 

[Sarcastic Coffeecup]

Well done, it's no Keats but it's a damn fine poem.

Keats is a fine poet. Ever since I read Hyperions, I've liked him and his poems.
Anyways, back to maddening things, I hate people who pop into your page and post a "Thank you for X" when I specifically tell on my page that NO thank you messages are welcome.

 

[Schwimmwagen]

Well done, it's no Keats but it's a damn fine poem.

I wish I could source it - it was one that I really liked that was in the booklet for a funeral I went to yesterday.

I really do like good poems, especially ones that tell stories, but I have no idea where to begin with looking for them, or even writing my own. I've tried before, people seemed to like them, but I always felt dumb so I stopped posting them.

 

[Reaginicwolf]

then you probably would hate me. i never discrimate someone fore thier fetishes/habits. (except gore.)

hmm, how can I put this...
NO NO NO FUCK NO AND FURTHERMORE WHY!!
You most be lying through your teeth you can't think someone with a fetish to rape or some shit is alright! I discriminate the shit out of shit I disapprove of like fucking child molesters!

 

[chesse20]

Furries aren't accepting. They just want people to meet what they expect for their labels when they label them, regardless of who that person is, what is going on in life, and how they are an individual.

wow you just summed up how I feel about people who wear minecraft shirts and shirts with memes in them. The first thing that comes up in my mind when I see people like that is "loser scrub" or feeling like I want to trip them while their walking around in the hallways

 

[Fay V]

wow you just summed up how I feel about people who wear minecraft shirts and shirts with memes in them. The first thing that comes up in my mind when I see people like that is "loser scrub" or feeling like I want to trip them while their walking around in the hallways

That doesn't really have shit to do with what I said. Well except with proving the point that people are dicks and like to label others for not meeting their expectations. How dare someone wear a shirt that amuses them, I wish harm on them!

 

[Troj]

Furreh dramah.

Too many furries seem to be incapable of controlling, moderating, or, when appropriate, suppressing their knee-jerk emotional reactions, and that results in fights, snits, misunderstandings, un-friendings, re-friendings, and the like.

It's even more uncool, of course, when a emotional blow-up is or seems to be a calculated attempt to rally support or draw attention. Some of my more seasoned and experienced pals in the fandom tell me that this happens a lot, to the point where they just tune all "woe is me" stuff out.

I've been there for furry friends who were actually having a bad day or a rough time, mind you, so I'm not equating all pain and trouble to "drama." There just seems to be an excess of drama, is all, and furries seem to be a little too good at expressing their feelings and sharing their "honest" thoughts in many cases.

 

[BennyBunnycorn]

IMO, the most maddening thing about the fandom is the amount of gross, sickening demonization and exageration the fandom gets. Most of the stuff I've read in this topic is actually quite sparse. People just chose to fixate on the bad things so much that they refuse to see anything good.

As for "furry drama." Honestly, I blame the bullies, not the ones they bully. It's easier to blame the victims than it is to realize you're going out of bounds at times, and try to act more friendly. In general, most furry related places I go to, the people there are nice. While they are often into pron, they're not as in-your-face about it as made out to be. And, in general, bullying is usually treated, instead of the bullied being told to "grow a pair" and allow the bullies to continue the harassment.

 

[Dire Newt]

wow you just summed up how I feel about people who wear minecraft shirts

You are obsessed. Seek help.

Actually, what you said is a great example of the most maddening thing. It's not limited to furries, but it's this hatred and prejudice against others based on something so fucking asinine. "I don't want to associate with you because you play this video game". Such a disgusting attitude.

 

[Dover]

wow you just summed up how I feel about people who wear minecraft shirts and shirts with memes in them. The first thing that comes up in my mind when I see people like that is "loser scrub" or feeling like I want to trip them while their walking around in the hallways

God forbid I wear a company logo shirt around you while you happen to not like that brand. I think you should have thought out your reply a little more, you sound like what you just agreed with and proved that you yourself are not accepting. Who cares if you don't like it, just be like "whatever works for you, that's cool. Try not imposing it on me. K thx bye." there's no need to be that mad over someone else's interests.

 

[Aleu]

IMO, the most maddening thing about the fandom is the amount of gross, sickening demonization and exageration the fandom gets. Most of the stuff I've read in this topic is actually quite sparse. People just chose to fixate on the bad things so much that they refuse to see anything good.

As for "furry drama." Honestly, I blame the bullies, not the ones they bully. It's easier to blame the victims than it is to realize you're going out of bounds at times, and try to act more friendly. In general, most furry related places I go to, the people there are nice. While they are often into pron, they're not as in-your-face about it as made out to be. And, in general, bullying is usually treated, instead of the bullied being told to "grow a pair" and allow the bullies to continue the harassment.

Actually that's not really the fandom. It's pretty much FaF.

I wish it was an exaggeration however it's not. The amount of times I get random people who'd chat me up (which is fine, I don't mind chatting) but then start with the sex RP when clearly I am not interested....

uhm yeah. No.

 

[Dover]

Actually that's not really the fandom. It's pretty much FaF.

I wish it was an exaggeration however it's not. The amount of times I get random people who'd chat me up (which is fine, I don't mind chatting) but then start with the sex RP when clearly I am not interested....

uhm yeah. No.

I had the same feelings before I deactivated my old Facebook furry account. I liked to chat and give/receive advice for projects I was working on furry related, but I'd get hit up for people trying to yiff and crap that it got annoyingly out of hand. I started to question if the media was exaggerated or not.
I've come to the conclusion that it's not, but they do show the darker side of the fandom way more they do really anything good. I've never seen the media show something good about furries.

 

[chesse20]

God forbid I wear a company logo shirt around you while you happen to not like that brand. I think you should have thought out your reply a little more, you sound like what you just agreed with and proved that you yourself are not accepting. Who cares if you don't like it, just be like "whatever works for you, that's cool. Try not imposing it on me. K thx bye." there's no need to be that mad over someone else's interests.

I was stating that I'm not accepting of people. I was statin that the idea that furries expect people to fit their expectations is true by providing myself as an example.

 

[LuchadoreBob]

The puns on the word "fur" are annoying.

 

[Mentova]

I was stating that I'm not accepting of people. I was statin that the idea that furries expect people to fit their expectations is true by providing myself as an example.

Maybe try being a bit more accepting instead of judgemental and rude? You don't have to be all like, "I accept everything even if you're a dog fucking baby rapist", but hating someone because they wear a shirt for a videogame you don't like is kind of petty and immature.

 

[Kitsune Cross]

wow you just summed up how I feel about people who wear minecraft shirts and shirts with memes in them. The first thing that comes up in my mind when I see people like that is "loser scrub" or feeling like I want to trip them while their walking around in the hallways

I got the impression that you would do it if you could, but since you are a pussy you won't, I don't know you but I'm pretty sure I would enjoy kicking your ass for fun