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Prostapheresys

The average Italian amateur writer
Hi! I wanted to share with you my first homoerotic short story in search of critique, the main reason being wanting to know if I can write enjoyable lewd stuff even if it's not my usual cup of tea (I consider myself a straight guy).
I'm also looking for any big mistakes in the text since English is not my native language but I try to keep it to a high level of knowledge.

Link to the story is here: www.furaffinity.net: Auran's first (gay) time by prostap
 

Moogie69

New Member
That was great! Your English and grammar are both wonderful for a non-native speaker.

I think the story could be improved slightly if you explored just a little further Auran's feelings about the encounter after they've had sex. They talked about it a little bit, but considering the story spent quite a long time building up his thoughts and feelings on the matter of his sexuality in the first half, I feel there could have been more attention paid to the outcome and whether his feelings were changed by it at all. Just a paragraph or two, even if he isn't sure about it at this point, just to bookend the theme.

Great work, keep it up! :)
 

Prostapheresys

The average Italian amateur writer
That was great! Your English and grammar are both wonderful for a non-native speaker.

I think the story could be improved slightly if you explored just a little further Auran's feelings about the encounter after they've had sex. They talked about it a little bit, but considering the story spent quite a long time building up his thoughts and feelings on the matter of his sexuality in the first half, I feel there could have been more attention paid to the outcome and whether his feelings were changed by it at all. Just a paragraph or two, even if he isn't sure about it at this point, just to bookend the theme.

Great work, keep it up! :)
Thank you! ^w^
I guess my English teacher would be proud of me XD (although I still require spell-checking software and Google translate a bit too often when writing...)
Also thanks for your suggestion and critique!
 
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