I'd argue not feeling emotions like that is very beneficial. I don't feel the need to share resources and income with someone which means everything is mine~
So just a question, it seems like there seem to be more people here who are open minded about open relationships or poly-amorous relationships. I've only met two people that were poly. Can anyone give me some insight into the appeal of it?
I tend to yo-yo. at times it hurts, and other times I feel ok, and wonder why I was hurting. I think I'm just going through an adjustment phase as this is all new to me. My mate feels she doesn't really know if she wants to be poly. She thinks it is more of a way to guarantee she always has someone as she has had really bad luck with men. I let her know that no matter what I love her, and that I will support whatever makes her happy. I would die of guilt if my feelings would cause her to be something she's not, or do something against her will. Life is a complicated thing. One way or another, life is so much better with her then the one who used to abuse me. I am free, and I am loved, I just need to stop loosing site of that. Best yet, she does want to marry me.
Be yourself and dont lie man. When a situation arises when yall are in a disagreement come to a COMMON ground. Do not give up what you hold dear to make somthing work. Find common ground and build
It depends largely on the dynamic between those involved to be honest. Some have multiple partners and love each of them equally while others may have one main partner and one or a few more casual partners. Some people seem prone to this style of relationship while others may find that it just works due to circumstance.
There's no real way to give a "one size fits all" description as it varies per the individual relationship but I believe it can be basically covered with the simple definition of loving more than one partner at the same time.
I'll admit that my experience here is a bit limited as I've only dated a girl that was poly for a brief stint. Aside from that, I'm inherently monogamous but open to the concept as I'm secure and not really the jealous type.
I will say this, it's not for the faint of heart and most people I've talked to that are poly say that trust and communication are imperative to making it work, even then there are hurt feelings sometimes but that's just part of the deal and something that everyone involved has to work through.
I'm in an open poly relationship. For me, there are multiple aspects that make me feel that this is how I want to, and should, live my life.So just a question, it seems like there seem to be more people here who are open minded about open relationships or poly-amorous relationships. I've only met two people that were poly. Can anyone give me some insight into the appeal of it?
I'm in an open poly relationship. For me, there are multiple aspects that make me feel that this is how I want to, and should, live my life.
One aspect, and possibly the most important, is that I love multiple people. To me the notion of "I love this person now, so that means I've fallen out of love with this other person" is as ridiculous as to only like one food at a time. I can't choose not to love someone any more than I can choose not to like chocolate or cheese or apples. I don't say that to belittle people who do feel that they only have love for one person at a time, more to stress that love is something I feel, and if I can share it with multiple people I love, why shouldn't I? And if I love more than one person, how can I say "I'm choosing NOT to be with you" and feel comfortable with myself?
The other aspect, which might be more relevant/important to the "open" side of the relationship, is that while I enjoy sex, I don't really assign more meaning to it than anything else I enjoy. I am happy to get intimate with friends as much as I am happy to go to the movies with them or what have you. So sleeping with people outside of our core relationship doesn't take anything away from the connection I feel to my husband and our boyfriend, and living a 6-8 hour flight away from both of them doesn't mean I need to not enjoy an activity that can feel pretty darn nice. The one local FWB I have isn't someone I think I'd be happy in a relationship with, as we've got some very different values, but I still care a lot about him and enjoy getting together with him from time to time, whether it's for intimacy or to hang out and do other stuff.