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Online Relationships

Aden

Play from your ****ing HEART
One of my friends is in a mostly online relationship. He actually met his girlfriend over Second Life. I thought it was stupid at first, and that it wouldn't last long, but it's gone suprisingly well. They've visited each other a bunch of times and I think they actually have something. He's going out there to live with her this summer and onwards. I'm...surprised, but happy for him.
 

TopazThunder

Noir Fetishist
Rilvor said:
TopazThunder said:
jcfynx said:
What are you talking about e-lationships are awesome

Would you expand on this? I'm curious about your thoughts on this. :)

I -think- it was sarcasm, but with this one I can't be sure.

Well, its hard to tell on the Interwebs. I just want to make sure. :)
 

KittersMcMew

New Member
Well all I can say is..

I have never really 'looked' for someone.
I always thought it was just best to wait until I find someone who
is as crazy as I am, or at least who enjoys it..

Though, I never found anyone like this in person, I've never been the social type, more of the observer.
And I still am.

And I'm proud to say that I'm in an online relationship.

I met this person and had been their friend for about 6 months, and we both fell in love with each others personalities.

We get along like bread and butter, and haven't fought or argued yet!

I like to think of relationships as a partnership..

You find someone who your mind and body tells you is perfect for you, and you fall in love with them naturally.
And when you've found the person who you know is compatible enough to have for life without wearing down or drifting apart, then it should just be that way if they feel the same around you.

I can act as batshit crazy as I want and my boyfriend just listens and enjoys.
He loves the little strange things about me as much as any other commonly good feature.
And he trusts me and I him.

It all depends on the person..

I wouldn't consider myself a homely or social outcast.

I just don't enjoy too much social interaction.
So I naturally have few friends, and fewer compatible acquaintances.

I just let things flow, and they all flowed into my current partner.

I don't think many people are cut out for online relationships.

I think you need to be able to observe and study people closely.
Don't do it for the sake of it, or anything.
You have to really understand relationship mechanics to make it work.
And have an open mind.

Basically you have to be completely mental.
 

Ribbonpaws

one Cookie at a time...
most dont work there are the exceptions... and one can find them rather entertaining....
 

Ribbonpaws

one Cookie at a time...
some work some dont.... i dont find them stupid, but im not sure if id be so trusting. I dont mind calling that person a friend, but imnot sure how far id let it go.
 

Krystalynn

Nerf Herder
Well, from experience and observations, it is absolutely foolish to have a purely online relationship, with no plans to see the person at all in any reasonable amount of time. Human interaction is needed.

I'm in a distance relationship at the moment, but is thankfully not that much of a distance, and well, considering we've only been together going near 6 months now, I'm planning to meet them soon. Get physical contact in there, and actually consider us fully together at that point. I mean, we talk over the phone, and all of the sort, so it's not purely text-based, but I've already concluded that distance relationships are a LOT of stress, more so than a normal relationship. But, eh, seeing if it works. It actually wasn't my intention to end up in a distance relationship, I merely met them by chance.

They were far more my type than the majority of people I know IRL, so, decided to give it a shot. We shall see where it ends up.
 

Ribbonpaws

one Cookie at a time...
if i got down to meeting them in rl and liked them still for who they are, then its not that bad. lol bit you gotta eventually meet or stay strictly friends. if not one of the two, then what is the point?
A person could reasonably find someone where they live
 
W

Wheeler-Kun

Guest
To be honest, there are people that I only know online that I do consider to be great friends, but given the choice, I'd want to hang out with my offline friends, of course.

Of course, I haven't fallen in love with any of my online friends. ;p

I don't think online relationships are the greatest idea in the world. Actually, something like that could be a pretty bad, especially if you go meet your new lover. I mean don't get me wrong, but you know how screwed up the world is, there's no garentee that your sweetheart won't be some 50 year old fat guy who will want to kidnap you and....stuff. *cough* A little drastic, but still.

So in a nutshell, I think it would be better to have those kind of relationships offline, though there are the rare cases where you really might find the one for you online. Stranger things have happend.
 

Kajet

Member
Meeting people online = fine
Hanging around people online = fine
Keeping a long distance yet not wholly online relationship alive online = fine

Dedicating the rest of your life to someone you haven't met = not fine
 

NaomiMaru

New Member
May sound sad, but I really don't HAVE any offline friends, and the people I know online have been more loving and kind towards me than anyone in real life ('cept parents). Almost all of them are furries too :p

I have a boyfriend, and we only know each other from the internet, but as cliche and silly as it sounds, I do feel that he completes me, and I do feel that we are meant to be together. Mushy mushy yeah yeah.

I'm actually planning to call him some time next week, for the first time. We have been together since February 10th.

He only lives a few states away from me, only a half-day or so drive away, but it's too expensive and troublesome to visit each other in real life now. But we will, someday.

You can say what you want, but I do love him, and I can't see us breaking up ever. I completely trust him. I knew him 6 months through the internet before we started our relationship anyways.

He makes me happy, and he loves me for who I am. He doesn't care what gender I am or will be, he just wants to be with me and make me happy.
 

gunnerboy

Member
gunnerboy said:
shouldn't this be in 'rants and raves' ?

OOPS... cp backfire
 
What people need to remember is that the Internet is nothing special. It is only one medium of contact, it is not different to any other way of coming into contact with people. To say all, or even most, internet relationships won't work is to discriminate - most relationships, no matter where they happen, don't work.

Come on, you should know that by now :lol:
 

Ribbonpaws

one Cookie at a time...
okay okay... let me ask then... what about all those people who pay for the sites like eharmony and those others.... hmmmm
im not saying one way or the other... i agree but disagree. i have a lot of online friends but friends outside the internet too. i would choose the friends outside of the internet but.... what about those sites??? is it not the same??? and those people are paying.... jw
 

ramsay_baggins

WINTERFELL!
Copypasta from one of my journals:

Hmm...
Ok, I am a girl who tends to be a bit hot/cold with relationships. I can be craving attention and kisses at one moment, and feel completely claustrophobic the next. I have also never really worked out how internet relationships can work.
I think I now understand. With the internet there is no trying to explain to a guy that right now you don't want to kiss them goodbye, a hug will do, that right now I don't want to go out because I am having a self esteem crisis, that right now I feel completely stupid for saying or doing that in front of you can and I don't think I can bear to see your face, that right now they are annoying the shit out of you because of that one thing they keep doing, that right now that thing they said earlier on is still spinning round my head and pissing me off. That right now............
Internet makes it so much easier to talk to them, to tell them what is annoying you, to stop yourself making those little stupid comments that you don't even realise you say that embaress you so much, to just be yourself without having to worry about what you look like or that you will fall over in front of them or such other stupid things I tend to do.
I suppose I just find the whole internet (msn) thing much easier to communicate over. Don't get me wrong, I can talk the hind legs off of a donkey (Dylan knows this first hand) but often I am very hyper and can scare people off at the start. Over msn I can actually appear relatively normal and build up a friendship before they see the hyper me :p Although, I tend to finish all of my convos or comments with an "xx" which I think tends to scare some guys because they always seem to reply with "bye" and then leave :p
So right now, my contact list is growing as furries are adding me, and it rocks. There are a couple of them who I seem to talk to a lot more than others and I am starting to really like one of them in particular (I shall not disclose names lest he finds this journal lol). So how are you supposed to figure out if the person you like likes you by just deciphering their msn messages? It's like I'm thinking "So are you actually being flirty, or am I just interpereting it that way because I want you to be flirty?"
 

Lobo Roo

turtles natures suction cups
I met my partner online. Not on a dating website, or anything bull like that - here, actually. (And no, I don't refer to us as 'mates') I liked her. We chatted some, so I drove up to see her, and hang out. So, we eventually go together, and are still together..at about a year and half, now, I think. I've had much worse relationships from people I've met in 'real life'.

So, 'dating' online even though you've never met, ever? Not too bright. Like someone said, you may meet and discover you actually dislike each other. Meeting someone on the internet you like, and going to see them, and it turning into a relationship? Better than a bar, in my opinion. Less chance of dating alchoholics and bar flies.

As far as local dating sites...well, if I think dating sites are pretty awful anyways, but I drove 8 hours to meet her for the first time. *shrugs* It turned out good; it could have been bad...but at that point in my life, I was bored, and the chance of meeting someone was worth driving that far.
 

Dyluck

hi ilu :>
There's nothing wrong with internet relationships if you're over eighteen years old and of a reasonable maturity level, with the means to be able to meet each other in person if you both so desire.

However, I've heard bad stories about e-lationships from one of my ex's, but he was a complete fucking dumbass, so he pretty much deserved what he got.

NaomiMaru said:
I have a boyfriend, and we only know each other from the internet, but I do feel that he completes me, and I do feel that we are meant to be together. We have been together since February 10th.

I completely trust him. I knew him 6 months through the internet before we started our relationship anyways.

I get the feeling that you don't meet the requisites that I stated at the beginning of my post. Don't come crying to me when you have your little heart broken. 8)

NaomiMaru said:
He doesn't care what gender I am or will be

Wait, what?
 

NoxTigress

Dungeon Mistress
PogoRoo said:
Online relationships are creatures built on desperation, and nothing built on desperation can possibly be built to last.
I wouldn't say that is entirely true. Online relationships are like any other kind of relationship, really. With or without physical contact it has the potential to win or fail. Also not all online relationships begin as 'creatures built on desperation' as you put it.

Off the top of my head I can think of three long term relationships that began as online relationships.

The first relationship - Started between my best friend (in elementary school) and a guy she chatted to online. She lived in IL; him in FL. It started as a friendship. After a few years of maturity-growing they went for a relationship. They had NEVER met in person by this point. Several more years after this he moved up to IL to live with my friend. This is about five or six years after their initial meeting. Five years since that initial first physical meeting and they are still together as a couple and are considering marriage type things.

The second relationship - Started between one of my ex boyfriends and a girl he (we) chatted to. He lived in AZ; she in WA. They met on a yiffy RP forum. After a few months of them chatting together online without ever meeting each other in real life, he left me and moved up to WA to live with her. That was over two years ago. They are still dating and are also supposedly (my ex was a bit of a bullshitter) getting married this summer.

The third relationship - Is my own and began just after the abovementioned ex left. It started between me, in AZ, and a guy in the UK. We had met on the same yiffy RP forum (also mentioned above) some months before my ex left me. We rarely chatted much out of character and were semi-constantly trying to RP our way into the other's pants. Shortly after my ex left this guy and I began chatting a bit more seriously and out of character finally. Within a month we had decided to start a relationship. Despite the 5,000+ miles that separated us.

After a few months he managed to come visit me for a short two weeks filled with trips back and forth across the state, with my dad at the helm, and more sex than either of us had gotten in a VERY long time. Yes, we could have made any hardcore yiffhound proud. And at the end of those two weeks the relationship tearfully made its way back online.

Four months later, he flew back over and proposed to me during another two week visit. And three online months after that visit I went to visit him, for two months and the wedding. From there we had a single month as husband and wife before my plane ticket demanded I get my ass back to the States. We then spent the next five and a half months busting our asses to get me moved over to the UK. That makes almost the first half a year of our marriage as an online one.


So while I do think that some care needs to be had when deciding upon entering an online relationship, I don't think that as a whole they need to be classed as automatic fail. True, now that I'm actually living with my hubby-wuff I'm noticing quite a few things that I sort of wish I had known before I said 'I do', but nothing that is detrimental to our marriage and relationship. Or our original friendship, for that matter.

Magnus said:
Its quite fun, doesn't work for everyone tho :3

i rather travel to england or something to meet the one i like XD
nothing to lose, love to gain <3
It worked! I gained! ^_~
 
My boyfriend and I met through a website a few years ago now. Initially we were just friends, and saw each other at cons and such. We flirted a lot, but nothing serious came about until we were at another con (ugh I know) and finally had the chance to hang out, and ended up kissing, and things just went from there. He asked me out in person a month later and I was like "uhhh I dunno, you live awfully far away, how are we going to make that work?" (He's in southern California and I'm in northeast Ohio.) But the chemistry between us, how much we had in common with each other despite having vastly different career paths, was too strong, so we started dating after a really drunk (on my part) phone conversation on New Years. Haha.

And we make it work. I honestly think that some people are better suited to long distance relationships. He's a busy guy. I'm a busy gal - school/theatre eats up so much of my life that I don't know if I would have time for a relationship that was close by. A long distance thing, I can fit into my schedule. And it's not like I don't go see him (every month or so), or that we don't text each other/call every night. Actually I dunno if you can qualify our relationship as an online thing even though that's where we met, because we rarely communicate online at all nowadays. :p I can't say for sure how it'll work out of course, as I'm stuck in Ohio for another year, but who knows. I'm optimistic about it, and I'm not really complaining right now!

But exclusively online dating, yes. It's silly. You need to see each other in person. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but only when proximity has been established in the first place!
 
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