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Simo

Simo

Professional Watermelon Farmer
LogicNuke

LogicNuke

To the lulz, dear boy.
Banned
WolfoxeCrevan said:
Don’t you hate those memes that are actually blatant shooting threats like “when you’re shooting up a furry convention and the FBI shows up and helps?”
Fuck those people
Those are LITERAL SHOOTING THREATS
Click to expand...
I apologize on behalf of non-furries. If it's any consolation, they probably will be serving a life prison sentence at some point in their pathetic lives.
 
Last edited:
GreenZone

GreenZone

Banned
Banned
WolfoxeCrevan said:
“when you’re shooting up a furry convention and the FBI shows up and helps?”
Click to expand...

343.jpg
 
GarthTheWereWolf

GarthTheWereWolf

Captious Lycanthrope of Forum Legend
GreenZone said:
some one tell me a funny story from work
do it
Click to expand...

So I am a nurse. I work in a maximum security forensic hospital for the criminally insane. A nut house for violent criminals basically.

The hospital I work at is a rather old building. Roof leaks when it rains, there's asbestos in the ceiling in certain parts, and its kind of a shit hole. Now, the hospital is laid out in "Units" which are basically wards where anywhere from 20-46 patients stay. Almost all the units have the exact same layout and are stacked on top of each other in groups of 2. So you have a downstairs unit and an upstairs unit that is directly above it and is a mirror image layout of the floor below.

So in one of the upstairs units, there was a really psychotic patient. He was one of the hard cases that we have to bust out the big guns and put him on Clozaril. Now Clozaril is an extremely dangerous drug. Lots of side effects, but it works really good for fixing crazy. One of the side effects that it causes is constipation. Now constipation is a really dangerous thing. You don't poop, then it backs up, hardens, becomes impacted and bursts through intestines so patient either dies of sepsis or has to shit out of a hole in his stomach into a bag for rest of his life. We don't want that. So what do we do? We put him on stool softener and laxatives. Unfortunately for him, he has a bad reaction to the laxatives and is having explosive diarrhea every night in his dorm. Like... paint the walls, omg, diarrhea. He cant help it. Hes got about 2 brain cells to rub together after huffing too much paint in his teens. He cant make it to the bathroom. So yea, every night. Ker-splat. Diarrhea everywhere. Gross.

Now!

In the unit downstairs. In the dorm that is directly below our poopy, upstairs friend, apparently the nightly explosion has been so disgusting and fluid it managed to seep through the floor, through the ceiling, and into this poor bastards room.

Naturally upon seeing this, he burst out of his room yelling, "THE WALLS! THE WALLS! THEY'RE LEAKING POOOOOP!!!! AUUUGH!"

Now this guy he was known for constantly having visual hallucinations and delusional behavior. So the staff there were accustomed to him crying wolf about things. They gave him a PRN and sent him back to bed. This went on for a few days until finally the shift lead went into his dorm to reorient him to reality only to discover,

"Oh... the walls actually ARE leaking shit. Well damn."

They then got the ceiling fixed and balanced the upstairs guys meds so he didn't blow out, but this poor fool had to live in a room where the walls leaked shit for a few days and no one would believe him.


And that's my funny work story <:
 
W

WolfoxeCrevan

Guest
GarthTheWereWolf said:
So I am a nurse. I work in a maximum security forensic hospital for the criminally insane. A nut house for violent criminals basically.

The hospital I work at is a rather old building. Roof leaks when it rains, there's asbestos in the ceiling in certain parts, and its kind of a shit hole. Now, the hospital is laid out in "Units" which are basically wards where anywhere from 20-46 patients stay. Almost all the units have the exact same layout and are stacked on top of each other in groups of 2. So you have a downstairs unit and an upstairs unit that is directly above it and is a mirror image layout of the floor below.

So in one of the upstairs units, there was a really psychotic patient. He was one of the hard cases that we have to bust out the big guns and put him on Clozaril. Now Clozaril is an extremely dangerous drug. Lots of side effects, but it works really good for fixing crazy. One of the side effects that it causes is constipation. Now constipation is a really dangerous thing. You don't poop, then it backs up, hardens, becomes impacted and bursts through intestines so patient either dies of sepsis or has to shit out of a hole in his stomach into a bag for rest of his life. We don't want that. So what do we do? We put him on stool softener and laxatives. Unfortunately for him, he has a bad reaction to the laxatives and is having explosive diarrhea every night in his dorm. Like... paint the walls, omg, diarrhea. He cant help it. Hes got about 2 brain cells to rub together after huffing too much paint in his teens. He cant make it to the bathroom. So yea, every night. Ker-splat. Diarrhea everywhere. Gross.

Now!

In the unit downstairs. In the dorm that is directly below our poopy, upstairs friend, apparently the nightly explosion has been so disgusting and fluid it managed to seep through the floor, through the ceiling, and into this poor bastards room.

Naturally upon seeing this, he burst out of his room yelling, "THE WALLS! THE WALLS! THEY'RE LEAKING POOOOOP!!!! AUUUGH!"

Now this guy he was known for constantly having visual hallucinations and delusional behavior. So the staff there were accustomed to him crying wolf about things. They gave him a PRN and sent him back to bed. This went on for a few days until finally the shift lead went into his dorm to reorient him to reality only to discover,

"Oh... the walls actually ARE leaking shit. Well damn."

They then got the ceiling fixed and balanced the upstairs guys meds so he didn't blow out, but this poor fool had to live in a room where the walls leaked shit for a few days and no one would believe him.


And that's my funny work story <:
Click to expand...
God damn. You work in a loony bin?
 
GreenZone

GreenZone

Banned
Banned
GarthTheWereWolf said:
So I am a nurse. I work in a maximum security forensic hospital for the criminally insane. A nut house for violent criminals basically.

The hospital I work at is a rather old building. Roof leaks when it rains, there's asbestos in the ceiling in certain parts, and its kind of a shit hole. Now, the hospital is laid out in "Units" which are basically wards where anywhere from 20-46 patients stay. Almost all the units have the exact same layout and are stacked on top of each other in groups of 2. So you have a downstairs unit and an upstairs unit that is directly above it and is a mirror image layout of the floor below.

So in one of the upstairs units, there was a really psychotic patient. He was one of the hard cases that we have to bust out the big guns and put him on Clozaril. Now Clozaril is an extremely dangerous drug. Lots of side effects, but it works really good for fixing crazy. One of the side effects that it causes is constipation. Now constipation is a really dangerous thing. You don't poop, then it backs up, hardens, becomes impacted and bursts through intestines so patient either dies of sepsis or has to shit out of a hole in his stomach into a bag for rest of his life. We don't want that. So what do we do? We put him on stool softener and laxatives. Unfortunately for him, he has a bad reaction to the laxatives and is having explosive diarrhea every night in his dorm. Like... paint the walls, omg, diarrhea. He cant help it. Hes got about 2 brain cells to rub together after huffing too much paint in his teens. He cant make it to the bathroom. So yea, every night. Ker-splat. Diarrhea everywhere. Gross.

Now!

In the unit downstairs. In the dorm that is directly below our poopy, upstairs friend, apparently the nightly explosion has been so disgusting and fluid it managed to seep through the floor, through the ceiling, and into this poor bastards room.

Naturally upon seeing this, he burst out of his room yelling, "THE WALLS! THE WALLS! THEY'RE LEAKING POOOOOP!!!! AUUUGH!"

Now this guy he was known for constantly having visual hallucinations and delusional behavior. So the staff there were accustomed to him crying wolf about things. They gave him a PRN and sent him back to bed. This went on for a few days until finally the shift lead went into his dorm to reorient him to reality only to discover,

"Oh... the walls actually ARE leaking shit. Well damn."

They then got the ceiling fixed and balanced the upstairs guys meds so he didn't blow out, but this poor fool had to live in a room where the walls leaked shit for a few days and no one would believe him.


And that's my funny work story <:
Click to expand...


what a poor bastard ay
 
Skychickens

Skychickens

Late Healer Ferret
GreenZone said:
some one tell me a funny story from work
do it
Click to expand...
Yesterday I was trying to clean one of the outtake nozzles for the fish tank system and turned it the wrong way. The thing shot off like a rocket, I got soaked, and had to walk the new manager through how to shut the system off because I had to use all my strength holding it back enough so I didn’t get more water everywhere faster.

I got sixty gallons spilled, and used a shopvac on my foot to try and dry off enough. Everyone at work loves that part of the story in particular.
 
LogicNuke

LogicNuke

To the lulz, dear boy.
Banned
GreenZone

GreenZone

Banned
Banned
ive told this before but i got two

so we got this updated version of the Carl Gustav i think in the US they're called the M3E1 so we had to get qualified on it

now with these weapons you just fire at these big concrete blocks and my mate fires and we're watching it then at the last second at the block a kangaroo jumps up and cops the rocket and then ceases to exist but the block now has a new coat of red the instructors just say it couldn't have been avoided and to just carry on

so we're back at the lines now and we're going to bed some people are talking on the phone some are playing on laptops others having beer and pizza then suddenly this voice stright out of hell bellows "WHY THE FUCK IS THERE FUCKING ROO GUTS ALL OVER MY FUCKING RANGE!!! WHO EVER DID IT COME HERE AND PRESENT YOUR ASS IMMEDIATELY!" it was pre funny

this second story i didn't see but 3 people confirmed it

so when you join the Army you do tests over a couple weeks but the final interview you just immediately go off to basic so everyone's getting on the bus and the Sargent yells at everyone to "hurry up and get on" some guy didn't hear him and he says "hey you! get the fuck on we need to get moving"

so they do the 5-6 hour bus ride and when you get off at basic you're herded into this building where you stand to attention while your name is called out followed by which section (squad) you're in so everyone's name is called out except for this one guy so he's standing there by himself

they ask his name and he's not on the list no one has no fucking idea who he is...

he was a dutch backpacker who got on the bus because he thought that's how people are recruited in Australia they're just told to get on a bus...
 
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