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Fallowfox

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
@Luxibutt
Thank you for your story. I am currently in a similar situation. My sister has a different range of disabilities to your cousin. She hasn't bitten me in years though. At the moment what my family deals with is endless screaming- she sometime screams until 5am in the morning because she doesn't sleep normally, controlling her weight and trying to prevent her from ripping her clothes to pieces.
My sister gets a little bit more forgiveness in public, because she is a wheel chair user, never reached a full adult size and cannot speak, so people tend to treat her as if she is younger than she really is and give her a free pass for some behaviours.

So much of what you describe is similar to my experience, in spite of the differences. My parents have never really accepted outsiders into their home to help- even though every member of my family except me has a challenging mental or physical health disorder. My mother and father are both hoarders, and my twin brother has stopped being able to go outside. He leaves the house to attend hospital appointments and that is pretty much it.

I'm in the same situation where I know I am going to be expected to become a full time carer when my parents die.
I'm leaving my home country soon... I'm actually leaving my country.

There's always so much guilt talking about how it's not okay, so thank you for your truth, Luxi.
 
Judge Spear

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
Luxibutt said:
(Cut for brevity)
Click to expand...
Your story reminds me of this. Ignore the thumbnail and text to speech. The story is horrific and deathly serious.


Though your cousin seems less...psychotic than the individual outlined in this video. This video is just a case of classic demonic possession to me but it could be another example like the previous videos. But I can't help but find parallels in specifically the extents taken to circumvent the chaos between you and the father in this video.

That's a really horrifying look into your past but I'm very glad you felt comfortable to share that. I don't think there are very many accounts that detail just how frighteningly severe this can be. I've made friends with a handful of autistic people that are just brilliant and insightful individuals I value. It's a very morbid thought imagining them being along the extremely low functioning side of the spectrum and not being able to have them as part of my life.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
TyraWadman said:
I don't think your anger is unreasonable. 1, you put up with a lot and 2, I don't know about you but pain is a huge trigger for anger when it comes to me. Not just 'oh I stubbed my toe' anger. Something more serious, like someone biting you.

I admire your patience and willingness to help so many people.
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Thank you. It's just something that I liked to do. I understand why my mom was confused when I decided to work with people with disabilities. But I wanted to personally make sure that no one lives like how my cousin lived. It was refreshing to have clients that were taking steps to take care of themselves because their family not willing to step and help. It just made me happy to see the opposide side of the spectrum, it really does.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
Eyleifr said:
@Luxibutt , You are a very patient and kind fur, since despite the relationship with your brother you decided to help people with disabilities. You have absolutely nothing to blame yourself for, you are reasonable in this situation.
In fact, you should be proud of yourself because you deserve it.
Click to expand...
I enjoy the work I do. I've always want to help and make their lives better. I've learned to be patient when they have a bad day. It's not to the extreme like my cousin but if they feel like that, I find something that would make them happy. I learned so much in my situation that I know it's not their fault time to time, something should be done.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
Fallowfox said:
@Luxibutt
Thank you for your story. I am currently in a similar situation. My sister has a different range of disabilities to your cousin. She hasn't bitten me in years though. At the moment what my family deals with is endless screaming- she sometime screams until 5am in the morning because she doesn't sleep normally, controlling her weight and trying to prevent her from ripping her clothes to pieces.
My sister gets a little bit more forgiveness in public, because she is a wheel chair user, never reached a full adult size and cannot speak, so people tend to treat her as if she is younger than she really is and give her a free pass for some behaviours.

So much of what you describe is similar to my experience, in spite of the differences. My parents have never really accepted outsiders into their home to help- even though every member of my family except me has a challenging mental or physical health disorder. My mother and father are both hoarders, and my twin brother has stopped being able to go outside. He leaves the house to attend hospital appointments and that is pretty much it.

I'm in the same situation where I know I am going to be expected to become a full time carer when my parents die.
I'm leaving my home country soon... I'm actually leaving my country.

There's always so much guilt talking about how it's not okay, so thank you for your truth, Luxi.
Click to expand...
That's really horrible. I don't understand why some parents just refuse help. Are they embarrassed? Do they just not want outside help because they will see how they are living? It;s unfortunate that you had to deal with that too. My cousin does the screaming to. Their neighbors got angry about the noise but my aunt simply told them that it's what he does and to get over it. It's hard when you cannot do anything in the situation that you just have to leave. It's the only way to save your sanity. I'm not sure how on your end of the situation be if your family would be angry or not, but they'll have a small idea why you can't be under the roof with how unhealthy the environment is. So personally, don't feel guilty, you are doing what you want to do.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
Judge Spear said:
Your story reminds me of this. Ignore the thumbnail and text to speech. The story is horrific and deathly serious.


Though your cousin seems less...psychotic than the individual outlined in this video. This video is just a case of classic demonic possession to me but it could be another example like the previous videos. But I can't help but find parallels in specifically the extents taken to circumvent the chaos between you and the father in this video.

That's a really horrifying look into your past but I'm very glad you felt comfortable to share that. I don't think there are very many accounts that detail just how frighteningly severe this can be. I've made friends with a handful of autistic people that are just brilliant and insightful individuals I value. It's a very morbid thought imagining them being along the extremely low functioning side of the spectrum and not being able to have them as part of my life.
Click to expand...
That was horrible to listen to. I can't believe that it got so bad. When they mentioned that they gave birth to theit daughter, I had some anxiety because I knew that he was going to try and hurt her. It was a horrible situation for them to get to the point that the mother just cracked and just started to beat on him. I understand her because he laid his hands on his sister and if they didn't come quickly, she would've died. It seems so harsh to do what they did but from what it sounded like there was no saving him. Especially if it was during the late 70s and early 80s. They did everything that they could. It's sad to say that it was fine that his son essentially went crazy and they had to let him do his thing and then just abandon him. If I was their position, though I wouldn't beat him like his mother did, I would let him go. There's nothing they can do and they needed to focus on their daughter who was nearly killed. There may have been a possibility that he may have been killed or was locked up in a mental hospital. Truly a sad ending, but I'm happy they managed to grow as a family again even if they had to move. His fear is understandable because that was what I had for years. It's good that he went to therapy because that is a lot to bottle up. I hope his daughter is doing alright. That situation if she remembered, was traumatizing. These poor people. And it's had that there are cases like this around the world but there's no endgame solution. What can we do with people that are this destructive emotionally, mentally, and physically? It's very taxing especially when you exhausted all of the options that there is. I wouldn't know what do in that situation especially since it was in that time. I feel bad for them, I truly do.
 
Turbid_Cyno

Turbid_Cyno

*Transmission Terminated*
Now I'm getting doomsday pamphlets in the mail from the religious fundies, and the scientific crowd. What a time to be alive...
 
Fallowfox

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
Luxibutt said:
That's really horrible. I don't understand why some parents just refuse help. Are they embarrassed? Do they just not want outside help because they will see how they are living? It;s unfortunate that you had to deal with that too. My cousin does the screaming to. Their neighbors got angry about the noise but my aunt simply told them that it's what he does and to get over it. It's hard when you cannot do anything in the situation that you just have to leave. It's the only way to save your sanity. I'm not sure how on your end of the situation be if your family would be angry or not, but they'll have a small idea why you can't be under the roof with how unhealthy the environment is. So personally, don't feel guilty, you are doing what you want to do.
Click to expand...

I suppose families which do seek and receive help do not end up in these exact types of situations.
I think a lot of parents who refuse help have a misplaced sense of protectiveness about their disabled child. They understandably worry that outsiders will not tollerate their disabled child's behaviour, or might become abusive towards them. I know that is part of the reason my parents don't seek help.

My parents claim that they won't let anybody into the house (even tradesmen; we have no hot water, no heating, no flushing toilets and no working shower) because they are ashamed of the way they live, but I don't think it is the real reason.
My grandmother was agoraphobic when she was younger, and spent years barely leaving her house, and since the coronavirus pandemic my twin began a similar pattern of behaviour. I can't persuade him to walk down the street to the park with me because he is worried that he will encounter other people. There's no rational reason that he doesn't want to meet people, he just absolutely won't let it happen.
They're high functioning individuals; my mother used to be a doctor and my brother is a published physicist earning an above-average salary.
He has stayed inside with no sunlight for so long now that he has begun to develop rickets. Even under these circumstances he will not go outside unless I can contrive scenarios in which he can avoid crowds or even just seeing our neighbours.
So I think my family's reticence to get help is a symptom of a heritable mental illness.

Regarding leaving, my family 'supports' me, but I think they feel a lot of resentment towards me for doing it and guilt about feeling resentful.
I think they would prefer me to be reliant on them and unable to cope on my own, so that I cannot leave- so that I can be a sort of posession. They taught me no skills when I was a child- not how to cook, not how to ride a bike and not even how to tie shoelaces, but they also believe in this idealised fictional version of me. One that is capable of anything, heterosexual, will meet a nice girl, but who prefers to live at home for now because he loves them so much.
 
Judge Spear

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
Went to a cookout yesterday my friends were planning for the last 3 months. Everything was fine until late into the night when my oldest friend got a call informing him his youngest brother had died.
His distress is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't do anything but hold him.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
Fallowfox said:
I suppose families which do seek and receive help do not end up in these exact types of situations.
I think a lot of parents who refuse help have a misplaced sense of protectiveness about their disabled child. They understandably worry that outsiders will not tollerate their disabled child's behaviour, or might become abusive towards them. I know that is part of the reason my parents don't seek help.

My parents claim that they won't let anybody into the house (even tradesmen; we have no hot water, no heating, no flushing toilets and no working shower) because they are ashamed of the way they live, but I don't think it is the real reason.
My grandmother was agoraphobic when she was younger, and spent years barely leaving her house, and since the coronavirus pandemic my twin began a similar pattern of behaviour. I can't persuade him to walk down the street to the park with me because he is worried that he will encounter other people. There's no rational reason that he doesn't want to meet people, he just absolutely won't let it happen.
They're high functioning individuals; my mother used to be a doctor and my brother is a published physicist earning an above-average salary.
He has stayed inside with no sunlight for so long now that he has begun to develop rickets. Even under these circumstances he will not go outside unless I can contrive scenarios in which he can avoid crowds or even just seeing our neighbours.
So I think my family's reticence to get help is a symptom of a heritable mental illness.

Regarding leaving, my family 'supports' me, but I think they feel a lot of resentment towards me for doing it and guilt about feeling resentful.
I think they would prefer me to be reliant on them and unable to cope on my own, so that I cannot leave- so that I can be a sort of posession. They taught me no skills when I was a child- not how to cook, not how to ride a bike and not even how to tie shoelaces, but they also believe in this idealised fictional version of me. One that is capable of anything, heterosexual, will meet a nice girl, but who prefers to live at home for now because he loves them so much.
Click to expand...
That's true. I know for a fact that my mom and aunt were protective of him. They thought that if they got help, he would be ship to a hospital and would be in horrible conditions. I understand their fear. I've worked with parents that were not willing to share helpful information because they believed it would be used for some kind of ammo against them. Most of the time when I had to report to the case manager, they asked me to lie about if they had a tantrum and destroyed stuff or they harmed themselves because of the fear of them being taken away. I only told the case workers some of the situation if that happened because I felt that the parents would be upset and take their kids somewhere else when some of them are doing really great. They just have a bad day, as I put it.

That's crazy, wow. That's awful for your brother. Yeah, the pandemic completely changed the attitudes of many people so it's awful that your brother just refuses to go out. The insane fear of COVID (which some point, I understand. I still have those fears too so I wear my mask everywhere no matter what), has caused anxiety to many people. Can he do a simple task of walking outside like just walking to the end of the driveway if you have one or if he can't get the mail if it's not near the house and it's on the side walk? When I was in a mental rehab, the person that had a fear of going outside, she did little steps like that. I don't know how she is now, but she would do it ever day. She wouldn't go on nature walks with us because she also didn't want to bump into people or deal with crowds like your brother. Maybe that'll help?

Mmm, that sucks. That's too much pressure to please them like that. They should just let you go so you can experience life outside of the house. They need to see that you are capable by yourself and that you don't need them for taking care of yourself, but you would like their support emotionally. I'm just guessing that they don't want to face the reality of this?.
 
D

Deleted member 160111

Guest
Hello everyone. Maybe one of you wants to offer me characters for fanart? I draw feral and anthro.
Up to 3 characters per user!
Six_Fanarts​
 
Last edited by a moderator:
D

Deleted member 160111

Guest
Koush said:
I'm a helpless digifan, so I would totally like to see WereGarurumon XD
But Kogenta would be awesome as well.
Click to expand...
So, if I understand correctly, you are suggesting:
1. Kogenta (Onmyou Taisenki)
2. WereGarurumon (Digimon) ?
 
D

Deleted member 160111

Guest
Guys! Furs! Give me characters for fanart? I draw feral and anthro.
Up to 3 characters per user!
 
Chaosmasterdelta

Chaosmasterdelta

Rule Breaker
The opening for the original twilight zone sounds like Rod Serling kidnapped someone and is now explaining where he is taking them.
 
Judge Spear

Judge Spear

Well-Known Member
Are there any furries that are actually funny? As in with their own creations.
And I don't mean "haha look i crudely draw over flavor of month maymays". Which can be pretty funny if delivered right, but I see that forced constantly.
I mean people who construct actual jokes and also happen to be in this fandom. I can literally only think of SIR.
 
Luxibutt

Luxibutt

Silly Pupper Girl
Judge Spear said:
Are there any furries that are actually funny? As in with their own creations.
And I don't mean "haha look i crudely draw over flavor of month maymays". Which can be pretty funny if delivered right, but I see that forced constantly.
I mean people who construct actual jokes and also happen to be in this fandom. I can literally only think of SIR.
Click to expand...
SIR is amazing. I wish people had his humor.
 
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