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Open Relationships

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Sarn Darkholm

Sarn Darkholm

Amiibo Hunter
So my husband and I have been talking it over lately, and we have decided to try the open relationship thing again. Admittedly I was on the fence about it for a long time because I am very insecure, but I am wanting to come out of my shell more and more. I trust my husband completely, and we have agreed on a few ground rules. First of all eachother's "side" partner must be clean and free of any STDs. Secondly there are no secrets between all parties. We are still married and we will remain that way.

What are your thoughts or feelings on the subject? Do open relationships work out? What kind of things should I be aware of?

So that being said I am taking applications lol/jk.

Seriously tho I am open for male, female, or trans relationships now. Fat, thin, muscular, flabby, it doesn't really matter to me. What does matter is personality, and the ability to deal with my moodiness and depression. I will be at FWA this year if anyone would like to meet in person and we can see how it goes. Any local furs wanting to meet up, just let me know. I am sure by now y'all can see what kind of stuff I am into by the art I post.
 
Wakor

Wakor

Wakor Jones
As long as everyone in the relationship consents, open relationships are great and perfectly healthy C: But if it seems like it's not working, or is causing you more insecurity, you gotta talk to your husband right away.
My partner and I considered an open relationship since we were long distance, but I could tell she wasn't really into it and I discovered that I couldn't be anything but monogamous with her. So we decided to remain monogamous! It's all about your personal choices and how you feel.
 
glitchology

glitchology

train hopping paint cryptid
Never actually had one (so take this with a grain of salt, of course), but that's just because my actual being in a relationship is pretty rare in of itself. I would be open to it, considering how close we were/how much I trusted the person I was with. I'd think just the biggest thing would be communication. If at any point you (or anyone involved) feel uncomfortable with it at any point, SAY SO, or it'll just be a big mess. As long as the line of communication's open, I think you'll be fine.
 
SodaBubbles

SodaBubbles

I will deliver the explosion
I'm currently in a poly/open relationship, and I've been in one before. It's quite enjoyable, but yes, communication is very, very important. Also as @glitchology said, if anyone feels uncomfortable, SAY something. Holding onto it festers more than opening up about it, even if the person feeling that way thinks it's silly to feel the way they do. Communication also helps with things like jealous feelings-- talking about it and what can be done to fix it.
 
PlusThirtyOne

PlusThirtyOne

What DOES my username mean...?
MoreThanTwo.com
This site is a MUST READ for anyone willing to try poly. You don't have to buy the books. All the info you really need is right there on the site.
 
stablercake

stablercake

a bubblegum pink nose
LazerMaster5 said:
Cuckoldry is fucking stupid. Threesomes or GTFO
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DISAGREE but you gotta be into that so it's a matter of opinion~

And I'm in an open relationship, we haven't acted on it in a few years but the option is always there. We just be sure to communicate and have condom protection be a part of any outside sexual encounters. I've been with another dude before for a while but then it ended badly bc that dude suckedddd and my bf dated someone but never went all the way. Been open for about 4 years now I think.

We're v shy and were eachothers' firsts at 23 lmao but the option is open and our communication is super good so I never worry about him cheating because I know he'd tell me about it and we'd incorporate it in our own sex life :3
 
Somnium

Somnium

The Sparklewolf
Banned
Open relationships works great for some, but not for me. I can't imagine giving my heart to more than one person at the same time, though if my partner can do it, I'm fine with that.
 
stablercake

stablercake

a bubblegum pink nose
Fallowfox said:
Sigh...I don't know what I make of them. Other people's relationships aren't my business and it's surely better than infidelity, but I find the prospect of married people being in open relationships perplexing.
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It's like WAY difficult terrain bc so many people enter into them and they weren't ready at all or one partner was actually just trying to make the other happy which sucks because it usually ruins the relationship! It's absolutely NOT for everyone and is def hard to understand if you're already someone who would not want to be in one.
 
Fallowfox

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
stablercake said:
It's like WAY difficult terrain bc so many people enter into them and they weren't ready at all or one partner was actually just trying to make the other happy which sucks because it usually ruins the relationship! It's absolutely NOT for everyone and is def hard to understand if you're already someone who would not want to be in one.
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It's the 'married' part which surprises me the most; if you aren't content to love 1 person what are you marring them for...tax benefits?
 
stablercake

stablercake

a bubblegum pink nose
Fallowfox said:
It's the 'married' part which surprises me the most; if you aren't content to love 1 person what are you marring them for...tax benefits?
Click to expand...

Well, content to love one person and content to have sex with one person are very different in my scenario and in most open relationships. The majority of people associate sex with romantic love and that's totally cool, I just don't as much. I did not love the partner I had sex with outside my relationship, at least not more than I would any of my other friends, and I had no romantic feelings toward them mainly because I was already deeply in love with my partner and had no desire for any other romantic partner. He and I never did any boyfriend/girlfriend things except sex and everything else was things I would do with a friend, because (until he turned batshit) that's what he was. My boyfriend is my "bottom bitch" so to speak and always is #1 in my heart and I spent the most time with him (mainly because I wanted to), and he had veto power over anything I did with anyone else sexually and I have that with him too.

Polyamory is a bit different and is more about loving more than one person romantically, and most of the time if a pair in a polyamorous situation get married it's usually for tax, insurance, or childcare benefits and the other partner is ancillary but, from what I understand, typically lives with the married pair as an equal partner.

Or like I guess you could have 2 married pairs living together, I imagine that makes it easier for no one to be left out!
 
Sarn Darkholm

Sarn Darkholm

Amiibo Hunter
Not sure if poly amorous or not. Haven't ever "clicked" with anyone else besides my husband. Right now, the open relationship is purely for sexual means. If it evolves into something else then so be it. His libido is more active than mine, and I cannot always provide sexually. Not impotent, more like hardly ever in the mood. Either way my "sex drive" is really low. That and the fact that I am pretty small down where it matters.
 
Zrcalo

Zrcalo

I STALK PRINCIPLES
imo with me, I dont really understand the difference between in a relationship and out. I mean.. you love and care about a person. You can love and care about a lot of people. Jealousy is posessiveness and "having posession" over a person is rather... icky.. to me. If someone doesnt love me, they dont love me. If someone loves me, I love them. simple. whether it has a label is beyond me. Sometimes people have sex with people they love and sometimes people have sex with people they dont. I dont really equate sex to love.
 
Ieono

Ieono

Uberaffe
I'm too covetous to be able to partake in an open relationship.
 
Tatsuchan18

Tatsuchan18

Well-Known Member
My advice is to make sure above all things you remain #1 girl.
I've had 3 open casual relationships (where the man said he want to just be casual and not committed, but open to other people)
And that was fine, I respected their choice and i maintained everything be even between all parties. Sometime we would all do sexy fun times together (him, me and other girl) and sometimes separate. (him and girl or him and me)
Then, every time, the guy decides they want to be with the girl who did not follow the rules and begged and bugged and pleaded and the other girl became his girlfriend.

Sooooo. Make sure you remain his first thought.
I don't really trust other woman to not try to steal away a man. >>
 
MisfitRader

MisfitRader

Lord Pineapple
I agree with Tatsuchan, as long as "at the end of the day" you come back to each other and remain the most important then yeah it can work. though personally its not for me, the end of the day is not good enough for me personally, i havnt been in an open relationship before, but i have been in a closed one with 2 others, boyfriend and girlfriend (it was more or less us having the same girlfriend) the key in that was trust as i imagine it is in an open one as well
 
Xevvy

Xevvy

Gregarious Gremlin
I'd never consider an open relationship. It's off the cards. If my partner even suggested such a thing he'd be out on his ass. No way, no how.
 
pandasayori

pandasayori

Dreaming Hobbyist
I already know that I have too much anxiety and internalized issues to be in an open / poly relationship. Especially trust issues,,,, I don't know how well I could handle dating someone who was poly, so I'm very much a monogamous person.

That aside if the trust and communication is strong, I wish you the best on your search!!!
 
Yakamaru

Yakamaru

Woof? Woof
Almost 3 year necro and OP haven't been seen for 2 and a half years..
 
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