• Fur Affinity Forums are governed by Fur Affinity's Rules and Policies. Links and additional information can be accessed in the Site Information Forum.

Polygamy should be legal

Yakamaru

Very Speshul Title
And to be perfectly blunt and personal for a second, the way you ended your first post didn't read as very supportive to me.

This reads to me as "If you want to make poor life choices, that's on you. Don't come crying to me when you inevitably fail." Which is kind of dickish. Particularly when there wasn't really any reason to say that aside from taking a jab at people, like me, who are in these kinds of relationships. It might not have been your intent, but can you at least see how this can come off? This has nothing to do with the topic. It adds nothing to the discussion. And it's hurtful to think that someone who doesn't even know me thinks I'm making a shitty decision by loving two guys at the same time.
Yeah, sorry about that. I could have worded myself better without coming off like an ass.

And no. I am not saying you're making a poor life choice. What I am saying is that in a monogamous relationship there are already potential issues. Adding more people adds more potential issues, and such a type of relationship isn't for the majority of people. I am however for it to be legalized as I am not interested in getting in between people's happiness, within reason of course.
 

Nyashia

Active Member
It shouldn't be legal as long as married people get benefits from the state such as reduction in tax. I also can't understand why people instist on getting married, when they can have a polyamorous relationship anyway. It's maybe not socially accepted everywhere, but it's at least not illegal here.
 
O

Okami_No_Heishi

Guest
I have been in a monogamous marriage for 18 years. Could not even imagine, or would want to even imagine, having more than one wife. Just not my cup of tea. She is my soulmate, no doubt in my mind! I wouldn't share that with anyone but her!
 

Xitheon

I may be mad but I'm perfectly good at it.
It depends... I mean, isn't polygamy actually quite common in human society? Mormons, and people with harems? As far as I'm aware, true monogamy is the exception. If all parties, (male, female, or whatever) are happy with the arrangement, I see no reason why it shouldn't be legal. I know an Australian guy who lives quite happily with his wife, his long-term girlfriend and their children (by both partners.) He lives in London, UK, and nobody objects to it, so why not?
 

pandasayori

Dreaming Hobbyist
Ehh, polygamy/ polyamory simply isn’t my cup of tea. I personally only see myself being fully committed to one person when it comes to marriage, and I naturally expect the same from a future lifelong partner. I’m not concerned with what others do behind closed doors. I’ve got bigger things to be worried about. Like paying off student debt.

Tl;dr — you do you. Just don’t try to push it on someone else. If you’re monogamous, don’t shame someone for being poly. If you’re poly, don’t shame someone for being mono.
 
O

Okami_No_Heishi

Guest
I would never shame someone. Not my place. At least I try not to.
 
B

BahgDaddy

Guest
Oh, I am not against polygamy in and of itself, nor against it becoming legal, love. In fact, I support it becoming legal.

I am against the mentality people have that practically goes "I like this. I should try and convince other people of doing/liking this as well!". I am of the mindset of "You do you" and "keep your own shit to yourself". I won't tread on someone's island unless I am invited over. I merely expect the same courtesy in return.

This isn't about forcing someone, though it is about people going around trying to convince others that their way of life is the best way to go about things. Trying to convince that their standard of social norms is the correct one.

This form of relationship isn't for everyone. Some make it work, but a lot of people won't.

The main thing is advocating for equality. If we don't vocally support all forms of relationship methods, can we make as much progress? One can advocate for making something legal without actually supporting it oneself, or necessarily believing it's a great personal idea.

Whatever people do behind closed doors is their business, as long as it's consensual and not with minors. But considering how so many people are paranoid with cheating in this day and age, it would certainly pose a challenge just trying to find people up for those kind of relationships. At least in most developed countries and communities.

Well, a poly relationship won't neccearily be behind closed doors. Ideally it could be in the open, it's not like people would be yiffing in the open or anything.
 

Le Chat Nécro

most thugged-out dope hoe
As an ace, I like learning how different relationship factors work for different people. And I do believe that love can for sure be found under most circumstances =>
One of my partners is actually asexual. Ours is a purely romantic relationship and I get my physical needs from my other partner. From the outside looking in, people can see it as just a friendship (and indeed I've had some rather unwanted comments about that) but to us it is more than that.

The ways people can fit together really are fascinating. :)

Yeah, sorry about that. I could have worded myself better without coming off like an ass.

And no. I am not saying you're making a poor life choice. What I am saying is that in a monogamous relationship there are already potential issues. Adding more people adds more potential issues, and such a type of relationship isn't for the majority of people. I am however for it to be legalized as I am not interested in getting in between people's happiness, within reason of course.
I still think you're adding commentary where there doesn't need to be any, but I accept your apology. :p
 

Saiko

GTWT Survivor
As mentioned before, my main concern with it is the legislative side. It’s easy to just say “well there shouldn’t be any government involvement at all,” but that involvement is necessary today. You have to answer questions like who are the legal guardians of these children, who legally owns what, and what accounts and benefits must they be allowed to share? Who keeps what when they divorce? In a polygamous marriage, do the biological parents of a child have different rights from the other spouses? What about when one of the non-biological parents divorces? Or what about when one of the biological parents divorces? And then there’s the implementation of solutions to these. Do we implement it by saying “monagamous marriages follow these laws, and polygamous marriages follow these instead,” or do we figure out a way to extend monagamous laws to handle polygamous ones? If we’re extending monagamous laws and find conflicts, how much of the original monagomous dynamics do we preserve? And how do we ensure both types of marriage are “constitutionally equal?”

I think we should figure out how to make these marriages work because healthy polyamorous relationships do exist (and imo a healthy relationship is the only moral prerequisite to marriage), but holy shit it’s going to be hard to get it right.
 
B

BahgDaddy

Guest
I think we should figure out how to make these marriages work because healthy polyamorous relationships do exist (and imo a healthy relationship is the only moral prerequisite to marriage), but holy shit it’s going to be hard to get it right.

I'm guessing that the logic behind tax breaks and such for married couples is that it was always heterosexual couples, which means they were reproducing and therefore contributing to the nation.

That might be a bit of an outdated concept in the modern world, where we don't possibly need more people above the replacement level anymore.
 

JinxiFox

Insanity can be such a beautiful thing.
If it's between actual consenting adults, why the fuck not?
 

2oodles

New Member
I get jealous easily. I cannot deal with that personality type that exhibits risky behavior and needs multiple partners.

I can have friends and feel I don't need to fuck all of them. STDs are not Pokemon... You don't want to catch em' all!
 
G

Ginza

Guest
I get jealous easily. I cannot deal with that personality type that exhibits risky behavior and needs multiple partners.

I can have friends and feel I don't need to fuck all of them. STDs are not Pokemon... You don't want to catch em' all!

You being jealous easily sounds like a you problem. Again, those who are polygamous should be held to the same standards of safety as people who are monogamous. Honestly, it sounds like you lack a basic understanding of how these kinds of relationships work, and are letting your own personal bias get in your way. Nobody said you have to be polygamous. I don’t like it, and it’s not my way of life, but why should anyone care what others do with their lives? It doesn’t hurt you *shrug*
 
B

BahgDaddy

Guest
I get jealous easily. I cannot deal with that personality type that exhibits risky behavior and needs multiple partners.

I can have friends and feel I don't need to fuck all of them. STDs are not Pokemon... You don't want to catch em' all!

I think you're confusing "sleeping around and being a whore" with being a person capable of loving multiple partners. An understandable conclusion for someone who hasn't fully thought through the issue.
 

2oodles

New Member
But having multiple partners is sleeping around...No? You cannot keep track of who they all have as their partners even if you say you do. What if you don't? You are at their mercy of sexual promiscuity. Fear of unknown possibilities. The outcome is unclear.
 
B

BahgDaddy

Guest
But having multiple partners is sleeping around...No? You cannot keep track of who they all have as their partners even if you say you do. What if you don't? You are at their mercy of sexual promiscuity. Fear of unknown possibilities. The outcome is unclear.

I would imagine in an open poly relationship, no one would have a problem with saying who else they felt attracted to and wanted to bang?

However you're conflating polyamorous and polygamous. A polygamous marriage would involve as strong a taboo against cheating as a monogamous marriage most likely, so of course you'd know who your partners were. Why wouldn't you?
 

2oodles

New Member
I'm more of a numbers person. From a logical perspective.

I actually had to Google Polygamy. Which apparently is the act of marriage. Yeah polygamy is fine then. I was confused with polyamory.
 

2oodles

New Member
If you live in a harem household setting...and someone wants a divorce how do you split the estate?

Or do they each get their own house?
 
G

Ginza

Guest
But having multiple partners is sleeping around...No? You cannot keep track of who they all have as their partners even if you say you do. What if you don't? You are at their mercy of sexual promiscuity. Fear of unknown possibilities. The outcome is unclear.


That’s called being irresponsible. Stable polygamous relationships are hardly like that. My point still stands, try doing a little research on what modern polygamy is like. These relationships still have boundaries and trust.

Again though, nobody is forcing you to take part. All we’re asking is, how does this honestly affect you?
 

DarkoKavinsky

ʎʇʇɐq ʇıq ɐ
As a grey-ace such topics have been a mind racing thing. A variable amount of escalating questions, and thus I can safely say I would enjoy polygamy. Which in my mind would be a closed loop polygamous relationship. I could easily explain why such things appeal me from an emotional aspect, but loosely touching on it.

Different people have different needs. Some people have no problems picking up people from bars and fucking and moving on. Some people need to have a partner. Some people refuse to commit to anything, and some people need the freedom to be in an open relationship <-- (This is where my brain gets a bit confused)

The aspect of multiple partners is hard to grasp for many as the potential escalation and drama. I've talked indepth with a person who is in a poly relationship and after our conversations we've came to many conclusions about exactly why people do this thing.

Whats interesting is if Polygamy became legal it would get shamed immediately from all sides, including many members of the poly community.
 
I

Infrarednexus

Guest
Move to Utah and become Mormon if you want polygamy so bad
Polygamy is not technically legal in the State of Utah. They do however allow polygamous cohabitation.

Also, you don't have to become a Mormon just to form a polygamous relationship. It's stupid to think that polygamy is exclusive to the Mormon faith. Any idiot who did a little research would know that cultures, countries, and other faiths in different parts of the world practice multiple partner marriages, and it works out just fine for them.

In fact I actually stated all of these facts in one of my posts that you clearly decided to skip over before running your mouth.
 
Top