Predators and Prey

[Ravofox]

*Tells you a bad joke to make you smile*

+1
5

You called?

*ads some pawsitivity*

+1

8

Did the Voltage Vixens fix the scoreboard, or was it Lupus Electrical?

-1

1

Of course it was Lupus Electrics!!!
Voltage Vixens are just good looking slackers

 

[Groggy]

I tried coming up with a pun for 5 minutes but couldn't come up with anything, so I googled some puns and found one that's fairly fitting:

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

+1
9

 

[Thrashy]

Don't worry, I have more

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

+1
10

 

[Cosmic-FS]

*is getting super negative*

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

-∞
-∞ (9)

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

That's a negative joke disguised as a positive joke

 

[Thrashy]

I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

+1
10

 

[Ravofox]

*is getting super negative*

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"It's Dave!"
"Dave who?"
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

-∞
-∞ (9)



That's a negative joke disguised as a positive joke

'Dave who'

There's your joke

-1

9

 

[Groggy]

I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

+1
10

 

[Thrashy]

-1

9

I liked that more when you were positive

+1
11

 

[Thrashy]

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

+1
10

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrr!

 

[Cosmic-FS]

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be alive.

-1
10

 

[Thrashy]

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?
1forest1



+1
11

 

[Ravofox]

What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?
1forest1



+1
11

Ok, that one was just horrendously terrible. Not even a hyena would laugh at that!! XD

-1

10

 

[Cosmic-FS]

*evolves from "NegitiveDadJokemon" into "NihilistDadJokemon"*

Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with them! The skeletons are like us: alone, empty, dead already.

-1
9

 

[Groggy]

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.

+1
10

 

[Thrashy]

Ok, that one was just horrendously terrible. Not even a hyena would laugh at that!! XD

-1

10

I'd like your yeen (forgot his name xD) to do better!


“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
+1
11

 

[Thrashy]

(Is it just me or is faf having problems loading sometimes?)

 

[Cosmic-FS]

Will February March? No, but April May! Soon we become ash, and time forgets us.

-1
-10

(Is it just me or is faf having problems loading sometimes?)

(no, it's all good for me)

 

[Groggy]

Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

+1
11

 

[Thrashy]

To the guy who invented zero... thanks for nothing.

+1
12

 

[Cosmic-FS]

-in Werner Herzog voice-

Today I gave away my old batteries… Free of charge! No one wanted them, so I became angry and threw them in the yard. The battery acid now leaks into the soil, killing a colony of ants. A sparrow eats their bodies and is poisoned. Somewhere in the Serengeti, a lion devours his rival’s cubs. Then the lion is shot by a poacher and sold to an unloved rich man whose father was an unloved rich man. In five billion years, the Sun will become a bloated giant, boiling the oceans and consuming our pointless cruelties with flames. I wake sweat-drenched and screaming, staring at the visage of a faceless god. “WHAT HAVE I DONE?! HOW COULD I BRING A CHILD INTO THIS WORLD!?” But this god, like all gods, is nothing—just my son’s Wilson baseball mitt, sitting on my dresser, mocking me.

-1
11

 

[Ravofox]

(Is it just me or is faf having problems loading sometimes?)

(It does sometimes. I blame the prey)

I'd like your yeen (forgot his name xD) to do better!


“Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.”
+1
11

Elias!!!

He can't tell a joke right now, he's too busy laughing at that one!!

-1

10

 

[Groggy]

What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

I completely forgot there's an REO Speedwagon album name based on that pun

+1
11

 

[Thrashy]

(It does sometimes. I blame the prey)

Phew, good thing I'm an omnivore

Elias!!!

He can't tell a joke right now, he's too busy laughing at that one!!

Oh thanks! I should probably try to remember his name, otherwise he'll think I'm a bad employer ._.


How can you tell a vampire has a cold? They start coffin.

+1
12

 

[TR273]

I was fired from my job at the bouncy castle factory.

What a let down.
+1

13

 

[TR273]

Did the Voltage Vixens fix the scoreboard, or was it Lupus Electrical?

-1

1

Judging by the vastly inflated bill it was Lupus Electrical.