Predators and Prey

[metatherat]

Hey come on, I know you'd love it as a skunk! You could do everything you can do as a rat, but also so much more!

Alright. List the things I could do. Persuade me with your persuasiveness. :3

 

[Thrashy]

Persuade me with your persuasiveness.

Ok, let me show you the advantages of being a skunk

• As I've mentioned before, you could do everything a rat can. So at least your usual daily routine wouldn't change that much
  
• You could live in the anarcho-democratic state of Skunk Hollow (though I guess we'd also let you live here as a rat. We aren't cruel!)
• Skunks are innocent. Doesn't matter what you do!
• People respect you, at the latest where you show them your butt. Trust me, everyone respects a skunk's butt!
• You can stomp to warn enemies
• You have a nice, two-coloured fur pattern. Several patterns are here for your choice, such as stripes or spots.
  
• You can eat whatever you want! As long as it's tasty to you, it's good for you!
• Being fluffy.
• No really. You'd be very fluffy!
  
• If you need to fight for a certain reason, you have an extremely powerful weapon, that works without really harming others. Really pacifist and peaceful!
• You can survive in most climates
• Last but not least: You'd have a fluffy tail you can always snuggle if you're feeling lonely or just want to have something cozy
  

(Telegram sticker belongs to Niteskunk, art made by Rileyy)

 

[Simo]

I hope you get your circadian rythm back on track
Also, I'd suggest stopping at the Mara Meadowlands or the Cavy Canyon! Bring your camera

Thanks, Mr. Guinea Pig!

My circadian rythm is more like "circadian rythm and blues"

Just about to head out on that walk; had to eat a bit first.

Keep an eye on the Skunks. I hear both Thrashy and Spilo are planning mischief.

 

[Pygmepatl]

Skunks are the best!

 

[Pygmepatl]

Ok, let me show you the advantages of being a skunk

• As I've mentioned before, you could do everything a rat can. So at least your usual daily routine wouldn't change that much
  
• You could live in the anarcho-democratic state of Skunk Hollow (though I guess we'd also let you live here as a rat. We aren't cruel!)
• Skunks are innocent. Doesn't matter what you do!
• People respect you, at the latest where you show them your butt. Trust me, everyone respects a skunk's butt!
• You can stomp to warn enemies
• You have a nice, two-coloured fur pattern. Several patterns are here for your choice, such as stripes or spots.
  
• You can eat whatever you want! As long as it's tasty to you, it's good for you!
• Being fluffy.
• No really. You'd be very fluffy!
  
• If you need to fight for a certain reason, you have an extremely powerful weapon, that works without really harming others. Really pacifist and peaceful!
• You can survive in most climates
• Last but not least: You'd have a fluffy tail you can always snuggle if you're feeling lonely or just want to have something cozy
  

(Telegram sticker belongs to Niteskunk, art made by Rileyy)

This is why skunks are the best!

 

[Thrashy]

and blues"

I've heard Blues?

Keep an eye on the Skunks. I hear both Thrashy and Spilo are planning mischief.

We're innocent!

Skunks are the best!

Of course we are, but we don't have to mention that. Might sound rude

 

[Pygmepatl]

We are proud skunks!

We have to show our skunk pride sometimes.

 

[Arishipshape]

*8 hours ago*
*letter arrives*
Ehhhh I'm too exhausted I was up 24 hours straight (was true both in and out of character) so I'll worry about this tomorrow.

*today*
*yawns*
*stretches in armor*
Dang, did I seriously sleep with this on— Another letter! With the royal seal! Seems important.

-Pulls forth parchment, ink and a quill. Starts writing a letter.-

Dearest @Arishipshape.

It has been several pages since you left my service and it has become decidedly noticeable at the palace. You are hereby invited to return where upon we shall hold a feast to celebrate your return, awarded a demense of your own and a title to go with it.

Your benign and wonderfully fabulously floofy Queen.

Skittles Mirribella Rapunzel Ariel Cinderella Aurora Meridah Jasmine Squirlf the first.

*cracks knuckles and prepares epic cursive scrawling*

"To my liege lord @Skittles, in response to your query
Most unfortunately for both of us, you are slightly too late in your offer. I've already pledged myself to an apprenticeship under the master alchemist @metatherat. As you know, a knight's word is sacred. However, as soon as this prior obligation comes to its completion, I would be overjoyed to renew my knightly contract (with minor changes to be negotiated at a later date). Additionally, by this time I will be proficient in potion brewing, lending yet another valuable asset to your disposal. I intend to keep you posted on my progress. On a slightly less professional note, I'm sure you will appreciate being able to acquire potions without dealing with Meta's unique quirks.

—Your loyal and floofless servant."

*sends letter by speedy royal messenger*

There. *yawns*

*starts fire*
*crushes coffee beans*
*makes coffee*
*cooks eggs*
*enjoys last meal*
*stares off into space*

Welp, there's no delaying it further. Time to—Ah, the first letter. Nearly slipped my mind.

(logged in during work break :3 )

*scrawls a letter to @Arishipshape , it reads:*
Hiii, Ari! It's Meta writing here! I hope you are well.
I have done some soul-searching and have realized that what I did to you was a horrible thing. I am deeply ashamed.

I should never have given up on turning you into a rat. Just because you struggled with rathood doesn't mean you won't make a good rat eventually. I abandoned you when you needed meh the most, and I am sorry.

Don't worry, though. I promise that I will use every underhanded scheme I can come up with to trick you into becoming a rat again. And this time, I will make sure you stay as one furever! Look forward to it :3

Love, Meta

P.S. I coated this letter with contact-effecting rat transformation potion. >:3
*

AH
*drops letter*

*stumbles to bed (still armored)*

*leather gloves prevent contact*
...
Phew. I suppose I could reply, but seeing as I'm going to see him myself today I could just save the trouble and do it verbally.

*checks survey at Thrashy's tavern*
*no replies*
*silently curses and seeks out @metatherat*

 

[metatherat]

Ok, let me show you the advantages of being a skunk

As I've mentioned before, you could do everything a rat can. So at least your usual daily routine wouldn't change that much

Certainly good! But I already have that, don't I? hehe.

You could live in the anarcho-democratic state of Skunk Hollow (though I guess we'd also let you live here as a rat. We aren't cruel!)

That's nice, but this abandoned basement in Lesser Mouseland I'm squatting in is serving me well enough. I just got the yogurt stash sorted.

Skunks are innocent. Doesn't matter what you do!

Eeh. I don't want to be innocent. I prefer to just pretend to be >:3

People respect you, at the latest where you show them your butt. Trust me, everyone respects your butt!

Are you saying my current butt is not respectable?! Fie. You wound me, sir.

You can stomp to warn enemies

Nice, but why warn enemies when you can just scurry? *scurries a little, for emphasis*

You have a nice, two-coloured fur pattern. Several patterns are here for your choice, such as stripes or spots.

Hey! I already have a nice, two-coloured fur pattern. And it's asymmetric! *twirls*

You can eat whatever you want! As long as it's tasty to you, it's good for you!

Uh. Pleased to meet you. I am a rat. :3

Being fluffy.

...

No really. You'd be very fluffy!

...alright, this is a little tempting. Although won't the fluff dampen snuggles?

If you need to fight for a certain reason, you have an extremely powerful weapon, that works without really harming others. Really pacifist and peaceful!

That's good too... but I still prefer evasion. Nothing resolves a conflict better than not being there :3

You can survive in most climates

Nice, but I wasn't planning to travel.

Last but not least: You'd have a fluffy tail you can always snuggle if you're feeling lonely or just want to have something cozy

You just made a mistake bringing this up. Rat tails are the best. :3

Eeh. I'll think about it. :3

 

[Thrashy]

checks survey at Thrashy's tavern

Damn, forgot about that.
But you could use the list I've made for Meta above. It's all the advantages of being a skunk

 

[Arishipshape]

Damn, forgot about that.
But you could use the list I've made for Meta above. It's all the advantages of being a skunk

Are skunks rodents?

 

[metatherat]

*hires a massive mischief of rats to fill the box with answers, notes and essays recommending rats*

...

*checks survey at Thrashy's tavern*
*no replies*
*silently curses and seeks out @metatherat*

*watches @Arishipshape open the empty box*
Darn! Man, rats are so untrustworthy! *crosses arms petulantly*

 

[Arishipshape]

...


*watches @Arishipshape open the empty box*
Darn! Man, rats are so untrustworthy! *crosses arms petulantly*

(oops i think sleep deprivation does things to you)
Ah, hello. You should've hired some knights. Then again, you couldn't get us to lie, soooo...

I received your letter and your sorry attempt at premature transformation. Even without taking the meanness of your pitiful trick into account, you pretty much have me around your "finger" as my master in the master/apprentice relationship, AND one of the conditions of my job was to transform so was under"handed" trickery really necessary?

 

[metatherat]

(oops i think sleep deprivation does things to you)
Ah, hello. You should've hired some knights. Then again, you couldn't get us to lie, soooo...

I know! Life is hard. :/

I received your letter and your sorry attempt at premature transformation. Even without taking the meanness of your pitiful trick into account, you pretty much have me around your "finger" as my master in the master/apprentice relationship, AND one of the conditions of my job was to transform so was under"handed" trickery really necessary?

*stares*
Yes. Yes, it was.

 

[Thrashy]

Eeh. I don't want to be innocent. I prefer to just pretend to be >:3

That option works too

Are you saying my current butt is not respectable?! Fie. You wound me, sir.

What? No! But you gotta agree, that people fear a skunk's butt more than a rat's one!

...alright, this is a little tempting. Although won't the fluff dampen snuggles?

Definitively not! It makes it even better!

That's good too... but I still prefer evasion. Nothing resolves a conflict better than not being there :3

Well, AFTER spraying we usually leave too. But our enemies will remember us!

Eeh. I'll think about it. :3

Please do, I'd love to have another skunk here
Also, skunks have always 50% off in my tavern*

Are skunks rodents?

I think not, but maybe you want to become a skunk anyways? At least they're cute

 

[Arishipshape]

*stares*
Yes. Yes, it was.

...whaaat?

Change of subject. Good news. Yesterday, I met with the Council in person to discuss our... arrangement. Turns out, transformation was actually a really common curse used to incapacitate knights a couple hundred years ago, so the Council made an executive decision that, yes, knights can be species besides what they were originally. Of course, up till now, no one has filed for an armor replacement while transformed, so my initial request was understandably misinterpreted. I'm in the clear. I brought rations, tiny flintstones, my tiny cloak and sword, a change of clothes for when we're done, and what little of my funds remain. I fulfilled my obligations to the Council and informed Skittles of what's going down. I believe I've no excuses left to stall any longer. *long sigh* When do we begin?

I think not, but maybe you want to become a skunk anyways? At least they're cute

Indeed, but "cuteness" isn't very high on my priorities. I'm just trying to keep my sanity and my honor and constant transformations aren't conducive to either. Again, nothing against skunks. Skunks are great. And I'm not just saying that because I fear retribution for saying otherwise (though I do).

 

[Thrashy]

And I'm not just saying that because I fear retribution for saying otherwise (though I do).

Hehe, see, you get how our most powerful weapon works

 

[metatherat]

...whaaat?[...] When do we begin?

Glad to hear the armor justice council is on board. Here, drink this. *gives RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION*

 

[Arishipshape]

Glad to hear the armor justice council is on board. Here, drink this. *gives RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION*

The HIGH COUNCIL OF—
*gives up*

I meant to write a soliloquy to recite when I did this again about emotions and humanity and stuff, but yesterday was so damned busy, so I'll just have to speak from the heart.
We knights are masters of discipline. Succumbing to instinct is about the worst thing that can befall us. Humans, left to their own devices without imposing order on their lives, kinda suck. You know, sloth, wrath, and the rest of the sins. The better humans have mastered disregarding their baser instincts, and the SUPER honorable and noble and disciplined like us... We're so focused on what we MUST do, we can straight up forget what we want sometimes. This, I suspect, explains my poor performance as a rat. I wasn't at all in tune with myself. I'll try to do better, if only to make myself a better man when this is over.

*pops cork*

To learning, enlightenment, and being the best WHATEVER I can be!

*chugs*

...

This is a lot less scary when it's voluntary.

 

[Skittles]

-Floofs on by to Skunk hollow and plonks rear into the designated comfy armchair- You know. This place isn't so bad.

 

[metatherat]

This is a lot less scary when it's voluntary.

Yaay! You'll see you will not regret this. You'll be so happy and fulfilled you will go insane with bliss. Here, drink this. *gives RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION*

 

[Arishipshape]

Yaay! You'll see you will not regret this. You'll be so happy and fulfilled you will go insane with bliss. Here, drink this. *gives RAT TRANSFORMATION POTION*

I, um, would rather not go insane, thank you.
So, teacher. I am ready to learn. Be it about alchemy or the ways of rats, I'm all ears. *holds forepaw to ear in the human gesture for listening*

 

[metatherat]

I, um, would rather not go insane, thank you.
So, teacher. I am ready to learn. Be it about alchemy or the ways of rats, I'm all ears. *holds forepaw to ear in the human gesture for listening*

Drink the potion. While you are doing that, I will detail the first task that will start you on the path to mastering alchemy.

Taste and smell are very important to an alchemist, sooo. In the basement I nest in there are several vats of yogurt of different kinds. You will again find them delicious now that you have the taste buds of a rat. Eat them, mixing different kinds in different combinations. That'll probably take you a few days, there's lots of the stuff. Then write me an essay about each type of yogurt, detailing the smell and taste. Include in each essay a passage about how great it is to be a rat. teehee.

 

[Thrashy]

-Floofs on by to Skunk hollow and plonks rear into the designated comfy armchair- You know. This place isn't so bad.

You're always welcome as a visitor
Not as a ruler though xP

 

[Thrashy]

Btw, @metatherat , I took a sip of your potion. Why doesn't it work? I feel scammed!