Pride Month Masterthread

[Le Chat Nécro]

Redacted by staff

Cause there's a lot of ways to experience attraction and gender and people like having words to describe their experiences.
Sexuality is a complex and fascinating thing.

Also, yeah, ew... who picked the design for that flag? It looks all weird

I do not know, but it's the literal worst. So busy.

And I have also seen two variants of 'pup' flag, one with a paw, one with a bone:

...outside of The Baltimore Eagle, they have a number of flags, and that's the first time I saw a pup one.

It's just like the leather flag. Which makes sense all things considered.

 

[Simo]

Cause there's a lot of ways to experience attraction and gender and people like having words to describe their experiences.
Sexuality is a complex and fascinating thing.


I do not know, but it's the literal worst. So busy.




It's just like the leather flag. Which makes sense all things considered.

Oh! I see. Odd. I very much like latex/rubber, but have never found leather all that appealing, personally, in comparison. (Well, I do like that Ramones biker jacket punk look, though...) Another flag might be needed

 

[Le Chat Nécro]

Oh! I see. Odd. I very much like latex/rubber, but have never found leather at all appealing, personally. (Well, I do like that Ramones biker jacket punk look, though...) Another flag might be needed

Ask and ye shall receive

It looks cooler in latex.


Also, for the not so out but still proud folx:
https://did%3D921092b6ae087d9c0699047db5de3b6fa7547271%3Bid%3D185379853855%3Bkey%3Do2DfTyEhh0jl4UaMQLvEyw%3Bname%3Dhuntydraws

 

[Le Chat Nécro]

https://did%3Da7ab982ad13c71a61ba2100dd931e12baaeb0fb5%3Bid%3D185421857161%3Bkey%3Dm2YGdGwnraIPKlY0HoMKnQ%3Bname%3Dvaspider Not sure how true this is, but I really fucking love the concept of a gay debutante ball.

 

[quoting_mungo]

This rolled across my Twitter feed day or two ago and I have such mixed feelings.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136387878970363906

Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.

Hell, I have mixed feelings on the whole concept of straight pride in general:
On one hand, it's really tone deaf for people to call for a straight pride parade IN JUNE. I'm not entirely surprised, because 'Murrca, but still tone deaf. On the other, I think it's important to let people celebrate their identities regardless of what those identities are, long as it's not done at the expense of more marginalized people (which scheduling a straight pride parade during Pride month is - thus inappropriate). If you can celebrate your heterosexuality without ragging on queer identities, go the fuck ahead, any other time of the fucking year. (And yes, I realize that the people calling for such a parade most likely would be ragging on queer identities; this is more a reflection on the conceptual viability of the whole thing.)

Part of my reasoning comes down to the fact that not all soul-searching ends up in rainbow land in the end. While I do not know them personally, I have had recounted to me the story of a personal friend of the speaker who spent a number of years experimenting with their sexuality in search of themselves. Eventually, they found themselves, and that happened to be "straight." To me that person has put in enough legwork to earn some pride.

But I also get pretty incensed at Pride-related gatekeeping in general. If people want to turn up and look at the floats and things, let them. If people want to turn up and show their support of the community, let them. If people feel that they fit under the umbrella that Pride represents, don't go quibbling and trying to push them out. Making Pride about exclusion just feels so incredibly backwards to me.

https://did%3Da7ab982ad13c71a61ba2100dd931e12baaeb0fb5%3Bid%3D185421857161%3Bkey%3Dm2YGdGwnraIPKlY0HoMKnQ%3Bname%3Dvaspider Not sure how true this is, but I really fucking love the concept of a gay debutante ball.

I'm still trying to work up the nerve to come out (at least as poly) to my extended family - in large part because I'm currently living with boyfriend and it feels kinda shitty to him to have him be "Alex's friend." The idea of combining this with a belated birthday party has been toyed with.

Which is less, I suppose, about big glammy celebrations of gayness (which admittedly sound fucking awesome), and more about combining coming out with any kind of celebration. Though to me it would also be a bit of a celebration of our relationship at that point.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

This rolled across my Twitter feed day or two ago and I have such mixed feelings.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136387878970363906

Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.

Hell, I have mixed feelings on the whole concept of straight pride in general:
On one hand, it's really tone deaf for people to call for a straight pride parade IN JUNE. I'm not entirely surprised, because 'Murrca, but still tone deaf. On the other, I think it's important to let people celebrate their identities regardless of what those identities are, long as it's not done at the expense of more marginalized people (which scheduling a straight pride parade during Pride month is - thus inappropriate). If you can celebrate your heterosexuality without ragging on queer identities, go the fuck ahead, any other time of the fucking year. (And yes, I realize that the people calling for such a parade most likely would be ragging on queer identities; this is more a reflection on the conceptual viability of the whole thing.)

Part of my reasoning comes down to the fact that not all soul-searching ends up in rainbow land in the end. While I do not know them personally, I have had recounted to me the story of a personal friend of the speaker who spent a number of years experimenting with their sexuality in search of themselves. Eventually, they found themselves, and that happened to be "straight." To me that person has put in enough legwork to earn some pride.

But I also get pretty incensed at Pride-related gatekeeping in general. If people want to turn up and look at the floats and things, let them. If people want to turn up and show their support of the community, let them. If people feel that they fit under the umbrella that Pride represents, don't go quibbling and trying to push them out. Making Pride about exclusion just feels so incredibly backwards to me.


I'm still trying to work up the nerve to come out (at least as poly) to my extended family - in large part because I'm currently living with boyfriend and it feels kinda shitty to him to have him be "Alex's friend." The idea of combining this with a belated birthday party has been toyed with.

Which is less, I suppose, about big glammy celebrations of gayness (which admittedly sound fucking awesome), and more about combining coming out with any kind of celebration. Though to me it would also be a bit of a celebration of our relationship at that point.

I'm pretty sure that the reason why they're trying to do "Straight Pride" NOW is to go, "Fuck you, queers! We're gonna upstage you! Take THAT!"
No, not all straight people are like that, and I'd be an asshole to say that. But, I've noticed that some people are very fragile in their sexuality and think that homophobia is necessary to convince themselves and their buddies that they don't have a shred of homosexuality in them, which is BS, because sexuality exists on a spectrum. That, and some people of privilege can't stand the thought of other people having stuff that they can't have. These are the people who get pissed off at handicapped parking spaces.
Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.

 

[KimberVaile]

I'm pretty sure that the reason why they're trying to do "Straight Pride" NOW is to go, "Fuck you, queers! We're gonna upstage you! Take THAT!"
No, not all straight people are like that, and I'd be an asshole to say that. But, I've noticed that some people are very fragile in their sexuality and think that homophobia is necessary to convince themselves and their buddies that they don't have a shred of homosexuality in them, which is BS, because sexuality exists on a spectrum. That, and some people of privilege can't stand the thought of other people having stuff that they can't have. These are the people who get pissed off at handicapped parking spaces.
Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.

To an extent I agree, I think there are blinders being put on as to what prompted the gay pride push. Though, if straights want their own month to do their straight thing, ehhh. They can go ahead. Doesn't bother me too much, does bother me when they're trying to upstage gays like it's a contest. But I guess they're free to be entitled troglodytes. Really whiny bunch of people really.
Though on the other hand, I've also found whipping up in a frenzy over past transgressions too much will make you lose sight of yourself and pushes you further towards insular thinking, so I try not to think of gay pride as remembering past abuses. I always fancied it more like a sort of a solidarity thing, which is fine.

That said, it's one thing to I guess, scoff at people trying to find communion and strength in who they are, as there are far less gays then there are straights, (hence the justification for a gay pride month). It's another for straight dudes to react to that by defensively posturing about how important they are, cause apparently there are quite a few limp dicked straight people who feel threatened by that.

Doing that straight pride thing at the same time the gay pride thing seems pretty bitchmade, but that's just me.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

To an extent I agree, I think there are blinders being put on as to what prompted the gay pride push. Though, if straights want their own month to do their straight thing, ehhh. They can go ahead. Doesn't bother me too much, does bother me when they're trying to upstage gays like it's a contest. But I guess they're free to be entitled troglodytes. Really whiny bunch of people really.
Though on the other hand, I've also found whipping up in a frenzy over past transgressions too much will make you lose sight of yourself and push your further towards insular thinking, so I try not to think of gay pride as remembering past abused. I always fancied it more like a sort of a solidarity thing.

That said, it's one thing to I guess, scoff at people trying to find communion and strength in who there are, as there are far less gays then there are straights, (hence the justification for a gay pride month). It's another for straight dudes to react to that by defensively posturing about how important they are, cause apparently there are quite a few limp dicked straight people who feel threatened by that.

Doing that straight pride thing at the same time the gay pride thing seems pretty bitchmade, but that's just me.

Yeah, why can't they wait until July?

 

[KimberVaile]

Yeah, why can't they wait until July?

They're not too different from those brainlets who complain there's 'too much gay art in the fandom', my sexuality is not a majority any more, waaaah!
They're just obnoxious and entitled, get all hissy when things aren't going how they want them.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

They're not too different from those brainlets who complain there's 'too much gay art in the fandom', my sexuality is not a majority any more, waaaah!
They're just obnoxious and needy, and want everything their way.

They think just because we exist, we're "too common".
And, FFS, isn't half of the fandom gay? If you don't like that, find a different fandom! *Facepalms*

 

[KimberVaile]

They think just because we exist, we're "too common".
And, FFS, isn't half of the fandom gay? If you don't like that, find a different fandom! *Facepalms*

Straights are quite common in real life, most media caters to that too. So, it's ironic when straight guys complain about the fandom having to much gay art, to be quite honest. They don't even have much ground to complain, really.

Anyways, getting a little sidetracked. My b.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

Straights are quite common in real life, most media caters to that too. So, it's ironic when straight guys complain about the fandom having to much gay art, to be quite honest. They don't even have much ground to complain, really.

Anyways, getting a little sidetracked. My b.

Nah, it's fine. I hate the whole "Equality is oppression" mentality that privileged people have, and it deserves to be called out.

 

[quoting_mungo]

If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy.

I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.

This thing that popped up on my Twitter feed I think was a cool step in the right direction:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136686965636653056

Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.

Yes and no. A few generations ago it would have been scandalous as all fuck for an unmarried man and woman to live together, whether or not they were actually involved romantically, while a couple of "spinsters" sharing accomodations would pass without much comment. Kissing in public would be unthinkable. It's a different liberation, but if straight (and gay, tbh) people want to, say, commemorate the sexual revolution, that doesn't seem untoward to me. The problem is the motivation (which, as I already acknowledged, in many cases is less than commendable) and timing, not the desire to have a "yeah, you know what, I'm confident in my sexuality and proud of that" thing. As I said earlier, some straight people arrive at that conclusion after a lot of soul-searching, and I think they deserve kudos for going through that effort.

 

[Misha Bordiga Zahradník]

If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy.

I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.

This thing that popped up on my Twitter feed I think was a cool step in the right direction:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136686965636653056

Yes and no. A few generations ago it would have been scandalous as all fuck for an unmarried man and woman to live together, whether or not they were actually involved romantically, while a couple of "spinsters" sharing accomodations would pass without much comment. Kissing in public would be unthinkable. It's a different liberation, but if straight (and gay, tbh) people want to, say, commemorate the sexual revolution, that doesn't seem untoward to me. The problem is the motivation (which, as I already acknowledged, in many cases is less than commendable) and timing, not the desire to have a "yeah, you know what, I'm confident in my sexuality and proud of that" thing. As I said earlier, some straight people arrive at that conclusion after a lot of soul-searching, and I think they deserve kudos for going through that effort.

The problem is the motivation for the straight pride stuff has always come from the worst possible place. It's the same shit as "all lives matter"; it exists as a counter-movement against social change; while trying to create a false equivalence in order to gain access to the victim card. It started from a place of Homophobia, and should be seen for what it is.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy.

I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.

This thing that popped up on my Twitter feed I think was a cool step in the right direction:

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136686965636653056

Yes and no. A few generations ago it would have been scandalous as all fuck for an unmarried man and woman to live together, whether or not they were actually involved romantically, while a couple of "spinsters" sharing accomodations would pass without much comment. Kissing in public would be unthinkable. It's a different liberation, but if straight (and gay, tbh) people want to, say, commemorate the sexual revolution, that doesn't seem untoward to me. The problem is the motivation (which, as I already acknowledged, in many cases is less than commendable) and timing, not the desire to have a "yeah, you know what, I'm confident in my sexuality and proud of that" thing. As I said earlier, some straight people arrive at that conclusion after a lot of soul-searching, and I think they deserve kudos for going through that effort.

No, no, no. I'm not saying that all straight people are bad. I explicitly said that in my post. But, I'm ragging on the ones who feel "threatened" by Pride Month; like they have to make noise, or else straight people will somehow disappear from the world.

The problem is the motivation for the straight pride stuff has always come from the worst possible place. It's the same shit as "all lives matter"; it exists as a counter-movement against social change; while trying to create a false equivalence in order to gain access to the victim card. It started from a place of Homophobia, and should be seen for what it is.

Yeah, I agree.

 

[KimberVaile]

No, no, no. I'm not saying that all straight people are bad. I explicitly said that in my post. But, I'm ragging on the ones who feel "threatened" by Pride Month; like they have to make noise, or else straight people will somehow disappear from the world.

Yeah, I agree.

Yup, most of the conversation was just picking at the entitled straight dudes. Chances are, if you're not acting like an entitled loon, you're not the straight guys mentioned in the previous conversation.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

Yup, most of the conversation was just picking at the entitled straight dudes. Chances are, if you're not acting like an entitled loon, you're not the straight guys mentioned in the previous conversation.

Maybe they (the entitled loons you were speaking of) think that pornography featuring women will become rarer because of us?

 

[KimberVaile]

Maybe they (the entitled loons you were speaking of) think that pornography featuring women will become rarer because of us?

Imo. I think it is a misplaced sense of traditionalism, and on occasion genuine homophobia or homophobia masquerading as religious piety. Or maybe they think their movies and video games will become too gay, I haven't the slightest idea, actually.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

Imo. I think it is a misplaced sense of traditionalism, and on occasion genuine homophobia or homophobia masquerading as religious piety. Or maybe they think their movies will become too gay, I haven't the slightest idea, actually.

Movies becoming "too gay"? What does that mean?

 

[KimberVaile]

Movies becoming "too gay"? What does that mean?

Bothered by movies with more gay characters, too pc, and so on. I'm usually not super gung ho on pc topics but I do find the complaint really strange myself.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

Bothered by movies with more gay characters, too pc, and so on.

Oh, FFS. People who get triggered by having characters that aren't white cis-het males in their movies or video games are fuckin' snowflakes!

 

[Simo]

Saw this today; there's still a ways to go...I think in small towns, it can still be pretty hard:

slate.com: Alabama Mayor Suggests “Killing” LGBTQ People Is “Only Way” to Fix Society’s Problems

"Mark Chambers, the mayor of Carbon Hill, Alabama, made the comment in response to his own post listing what he saw as society’s ills. “We live in a society where homosexuals lecture us on morals, transvestites lecture us on human biology, baby killers lecture us on human rights and socialists lecture us on economics,” he wrote.

A Facebook friend of his replied to the comment: “By giving the minority more rights than the majority. I hate to think of the country my grandkids will live in unless somehow we change and I think that will take a revolution.”

Chambers responded to that comment with his solution. “The only way to change it would be to kill the problem out. I know it’s bad to say but with out killing them out there’s no way to fix it.”

And so, progress still remains to be made.

 

[FluffyShutterbug]

Saw this today; there's still a ways to go...I think in small towns, it can still be pretty hard:

slate.com: Alabama Mayor Suggests “Killing” LGBTQ People Is “Only Way” to Fix Society’s Problems

"Mark Chambers, the mayor of Carbon Hill, Alabama, made the comment in response to his own post listing what he saw as society’s ills. “We live in a society where homosexuals lecture us on morals, transvestites lecture us on human biology, baby killers lecture us on human rights and socialists lecture us on economics,” he wrote.

A Facebook friend of his replied to the comment: “By giving the minority more rights than the majority. I hate to think of the country my grandkids will live in unless somehow we change and I think that will take a revolution.”

Chambers responded to that comment with his solution. “The only way to change it would be to kill the problem out. I know it’s bad to say but with out killing them out there’s no way to fix it.”

And so, progress still remains to be made.

Yeah I heard about that... Thing.
I actually cited that as an example on Twitter of why I think "Straight Pride" is utter horse manure.

 

[Misha Bordiga Zahradník]

Alabama makes me wish General Sherman had burned more shit these days.

 

[Le Chat Nécro]

Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.

As a fellow bi person in a straight passing relationship.. I feel ya.
There can be a lot of nasty gatekeeping in the community and it can affect a lot of people. I understand the instinct to not want het-passing people at your big gay parade. It does send a mixed message if you don't look to close at it. But if you do look close at it, you're cutting off a lot of people who deserve to be there as much as anyone else. Bi's and Pan's in straight passing relationships, same gender relationships where one person is trans and doesn't "pass" sufficiently, genderqueer people who are presenting "incorrectly" for the event (big quotes on that one), aces hanging out with different gender friends... This need for people to look "gay enough" for pride is setting a really awful bar that we should not be putting on each other. Like... society comes with enough pressures for gay people. We shouldn't be doing this to each other.

As for straight pride... for me I think it's important to differentiate between personal pride and capital P Pride. Anyone can have personal pride about anything. Some things make a bit more sense to be proud of than others (like, being proud that I'm blonde doesn't really make a lot of sense since it has literally no impact on my life and I did absolutely nothing to achieve this), but on an individual level, you do you. But Pride was in direct response to Shame. Lots of (awful) people like to paint Pride as somehow saying that being gay is better than being straight or that non gays should be ashamed, but that's not it. It's a middle finger to a society that told gay people that they should be the ones ashamed, a society that mistreated and harmed gay people for being "less than" and "abominations". Big P Pride is about affirming that "no, I will not be ashamed of who I am because you say who I love is wrong. In fact, I'm going to go so far in the other direction there's going to be a damned parade".

So yeah. Your friend has every right to be proud of their journey and work and ultimate self realization. But Straight Pride is a bit wonky and completely misses the nuance that is Gay Pride.
At least in my opinion.

I'm still trying to work up the nerve to come out (at least as poly) to my extended family - in large part because I'm currently living with boyfriend and it feels kinda shitty to him to have him be "Alex's friend." The idea of combining this with a belated birthday party has been toyed with.

Which is less, I suppose, about big glammy celebrations of gayness (which admittedly sound fucking awesome), and more about combining coming out with any kind of celebration. Though to me it would also be a bit of a celebration of our relationship at that point.

I mean, we all get to choose how we want to celebrate. I hope whatever choice you make, you feel wonderful and secure in that decision. And a birthday party/relationship reveal sounds awesome.
You could do a whole parody of a gender reveal party if you wanted something a little extra. "CONGRATS! IT'S A.... POLYAMORIST!" *cue glitter explosions*