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Promise ring?

Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
My boyfriend and I were texting last night and he says he wants more commitment. I was confused and asked him if he thought I wasn't committed but he assured me that he knew I was committed. However, he said he wants more commitment in the relationship but wouldn't give me a straight answer so I didn't bother trying to figure out what he meant.

He's said marriage related things a few times (each time I tell him I'm way too young to even think about that; he's emotionally driven, I'm logically driven)

So.... Is there an in-between stage? You know, between Bf/Gf and engaged? I don't think there is but I know he wants more (and I'm no where near engagement) so I was hoping if there was this secret stage that only few know about.

While thinking of this secret stage I did come up with a great idea: I'll just buy him a promise ring and give it to him at the upcoming anime con or renaissance fair. He loves both tons so I know it'd be a great time to do so. Heck, we can even go on a hike and have a picnic in the woods and I can give it to him there.

Anyways,the main reason I'm posting this, I don't know a thing about rings. :/

I did some browsing before bed last night and they're in my price rage but there are so many styles and companies and brands. I know he would wear a jeweled ring so that keeps options even more open (such as the infinity ring with both our gemstones). But other styles work too! There is a plain ring that I can engrave with out names and anniversary that looks cool as well. Not to mention all the different other rings I saw. I know I'm sticking with Sterling Silver or Silver though (maybe Copper or Bronze if those exist); no metal rated higher than silver though.

Anyone know of places I should check or any recommended styles? It's just so overstimulating and I have little clue on what I'm doing. @_@
 
Zan'theros

Zan'theros

Fiery Wanderer
I would recommend courtship. This goes one step beyond simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, as it's a way of both parties promising that they're not going to look for anyone else. They've found who they want to be with, but aren't quite ready to get engaged.
There's no special ring for it, but it's the in-between stage you're looking for.
 
Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
mcjoel said:
how long have you been together?
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A year and a few months now.

I don't know how serious he is about marriage at this age but he does seem pretty serious about it.

I figure the timing is right for something like a promise ring.


Zan'theros said:
I would recommend courtship. This goes one step beyond simple boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, as it's a way of both parties promising that they're not going to look for anyone else. They've found who they want to be with, but aren't quite ready to get engaged.
There's no special ring for it, but it's the in-between stage you're looking for.
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Hm. It's sounds a tad closer to engagement, but I'll check it out.

Clayton said:
that sounds kinda weird... wth does "more commitment" mean
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He is pretty weird, we both are. I don't know. He wouldn't tell me/dodged the question/refused to give a straight answer so I just gave up. I don't think he even knows what it means. He tried explaining it a few months back in that he feels bf/gf aren't as permanent as engaged and married but I didn't understand his reasoning because to me bf/gf does feel pretty permanent.
 
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mcjoel

mcjoel

Pepmurrmint Fox
if he's an emotional person like you say he is pulling a ring out might be interpreted as a proposal. Try something different like maybe a nice watch or necklace.
 
Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
mcjoel said:
if he's an emotional person like you say he is pulling a ring out might be interpreted as a proposal. Try something different like maybe a nice watch or necklace.
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Yeah, I thought of that myself.

I don't think he's really big on watches and we already wear matching necklaces. We're actually toying with swapping them out for new ones and retiring the old ones soon (just because of how damaged they're getting).

If I do end up going for the ring I'll make my intentions very clear and have what I plan to say mapped out. I just know giving him a ring would make him super happy.

As for other gifts, I can't think of any that would give him more security than the ring (the necklace might be able to but only if it's a matching pair, a bracelet might work as well though).

Hewge said:
Sounds like your BF is up to something.
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Like what?
 
Taralack

Taralack

Hit 'em right between the eyes
That sounds like it escalated quickly. My bf and I have been together about 7 years and he's only just proposed soooo...
 
DeCatt

DeCatt

Parking Lot Enthusiast
Get him surgically attached to your body. :V
 
Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
Taralack said:
That sounds like it escalated quickly. My bf and I have been together about 7 years and he's only just proposed soooo...
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That's why I always snap at him for trying escalate it like that. I think it has to due with him never getting much stability in relationships so now that he has it he wants to keep it? I dunno. He hasn't seriously asked but he tends to rush into things. A lot. Like his last relationship I think they were actually engaged (he did buy her a wedding dress and ring) and they were only together about the same length as we are now.

DeCatt said:
Get him surgically attached to your body. :V
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Then I'd never get alone time to browse faf. :V
 
DeCatt

DeCatt

Parking Lot Enthusiast
Misomie said:
Then I'd never get alone time to browse faf. :V
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Perhaps by "more commitment" he means make him a fursona and get murry purry pictures made. :V

Honestly I can't get my head around what "more commitment" could possibly be apart from engagement. It sounds like it's a trust issue and you need to find some way to give him no doubts.
 
Batty Krueger

Batty Krueger

DJ Nailbunny
Oop nevermind I was thinking of purity rings. Tired bat is tired.
 
Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
I did some more research on the rings and it seems like people either put too much weight on them or veiw them as childish. I just thought they were a cute things couples could do. :<

DeCatt said:
Perhaps by "more commitment" he means make him a fursona and get murry purry pictures made. :V

Honestly I can't get my head around what "more commitment" could possibly be apart from engagement. It sounds like it's a trust issue and you need to find some way to give him no doubts.
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I should totally do that.

I have no clue either. Drives me nuts when he plays these games. D:< He says he trusts me (mainly because he calls me a total straightedge) and I've never given him reason not to. However, sometimes his exes changes how he views me. Super annoying. He's getting better about it but he used to date awful people so he's used to being treated like trash. Like when I get upset and don't feel like talking to him he used to ask if we were breaking up. This always confused me. Guy needs to grow a spine. XP Also kind of my reasoning that a ring would calm him down.

d.batty said:
Oop nevermind I was thinking of purity rings. Tired bat is tired.
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To each other? Even grosser! XP *is tired as well*
 
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Misomie

Misomie

Lazy Artist
d.batty said:
No not to eachother lol
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I should hope not.

I did see this couple around my school and they were so cute together. They wore promise rings and would sometimes hug each other in the hallways or lightly kiss. It was so much more adorable than the other couples that practically had sex in the hallways.
 
Ohyoupokedme

Ohyoupokedme

Servant of God
Nothing wrong with being committed to one another, but my brother wanted to get his girlfriend a promise ring, but when my brother went off to college, she broke if off because she didn't like the long distance relationship. However, they are still friends.

It's impossible to become 100% committed before marriage, because some things can come up and cause a relationship to break down. Still, the fact that he wants to commit to you is really sweet of him.
 
Taralack

Taralack

Hit 'em right between the eyes
Hang on, how old are you guys again?
 
L

Lyris

New Member
sounds like he wants to lock you down. People in general seem to think that being in love means you "own" the other person. Just my take.
 
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