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PSA: About "coming out" as a furry

Mentova

I live, I die, I live again
A common topic that seems to be brought up in here people "coming out" as a furry to their friends and family. This is a really bad idea. Here's why:

-Furry is not a sexuality.

We can debate until the end of time about whether or not furry is a hobby or lifestyle. However, it is certainly not a sexuality. As a result, there is no need to treat it as such. It only makes things weird.

-You will not be disowned for being a furry.

People seem to act like being a furry is this massive taboo that will get you disowned, like being homosexual in a homophobic family. However, this is not the case. Not only do the majority of people not even know what a furry is, nobody really cares.

-It will only make things awkward.

If you're worried your parents or friends will think you're a weirdo because you're a furry and its negative stereotypes, then coming out will only make it worse. That just makes it seem like you have something to hide, and that furry is a bigger deal than it really is.

In closing, just calm down and relax. The fandom isn't a big deal. Your parents are not going to throw a bible at you and toss you on the streets because you asked to go to Anthrocon. You'll be fine, I promise.

If you'd like to discuss this topic, or think anything should be added to the OP, post in here.


Edit: In the words of the glorious Trpderp:

On the topic of "You will not be disowned" I feel it worth a mention, some people do come from families who are anti-everything that doesn't fit into some narrow view of what is "normal" and therefore acceptable. I have met furries who come from such families, but they are often in an extreme minority. The real truth here is that if your family isn't going to be okay with you being furry, they probably will have issues with you being anything else, such as into anime, science fiction, etc.

Generally speaking if you treat something like it's nothing to hide, and you act appropriately and responsibly even very narrow mined families can find it within themselves to just not care.
 
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Toshabi

Banned
Banned
I came out as a furry to my parents. Now I live alone in a bug infested 1 room studio apartment, paying way too much rent to a land lord that throws sand in my face at any given moment, a dead end job that everyone pretty much hates me at because they know I'm a furry, and was sent to a community college, because no real college would accept a furry. I hate my life.
 

Demensa

Characterless sack of potatoes
I'm liking this Den cleanout, Mentova...

This is pretty simple and to the point. Good stuff, assertive and not over the top. (I'll admit though, Glitch's post was a more of a hilarious read.)

It's amazing how old the other thread was... it was the first thing I read when I started lurking a few years back.
 
D

Deleted member 82554

Guest
Eh, even if one does decide to "come out", just show them this:



Side note: Does anyone know where I can find a better copy of that?
 

Percy

o-o
Welp, now I know that that's a thing.

Anyways, my family mostly don't know what they are, and the two people who do that know I am one don't care. Seriously, it's not a big deal as people make it out to me.
 

Icky

is the prettiest pony~
Eh, even if one does decide to "come out", just show them this:



Side note: Does anyone know where I can find a better copy of that?

Is there one that isn't as outright insulting to the uneducated reader?
 

FriendlyFurryFox

Banned
Banned
Eh, even if one does decide to "come out", just show them this:



Side note: Does anyone know where I can find a better copy of that?

This is good, but a fair more effective argument is that the burden of proof is on the person making the claim. If someone claims furries are perverts, it is up to THEM to provide the statistics, not up to you to provide counter-statistics. This is because nothing can be proved to not exist, things can only be proved to exist. If someone makes a claim that being a furry is X, they must prove it is the case, it is not required to prove the contrary. A furry isn't defined by a dictionary yet (at least not one I have access to), but according to wikipedia it is the following...

"The furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.[SUP][1][/SUP] Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. Furry fandom is also used to refer to the community of people who gather on the Internet and at conventions.[SUP][2]"[/SUP]

citing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom

The furry fandom is a subculture, not a sexuality, not a hobby, according to wikipedia. Just direct them there.

Unlike proving a fact like "all furries are perverts", defining a definition is done by consensus, and if they chose not to agree with an established definition, you can't change their mind.

I can say being an American means you are a space alien, which you can only disprove by citing consensus of what the word "American" means.

So aside from that, that should keep them quiet.
 

FriendlyFurryFox

Banned
Banned
I will contend that the definition of furry means neither lifestyle nor hobby, but rather subculture. Being a furry is akin to being a punk, nerd, goth, jock, gangster, hipster, emo, etc. The reason I reference this, is because a definition cannot be applied to a term in this context. Drawing furry art is a hobby, calling oneself a furry is to admit membership into a subculture... much like listening to rap music is a hobby, but to call oneself a gangster is to declare a subculture. What defines a subculture? Typically it is a generalized idea, and one doesn't even have to be self-aware or even agree to being part of one to be considered in one.

But subcultures are basically a form of identity, how much it makes up your greater identity is up to you.
 
D

Deleted member 82554

Guest
You never said anything about surgically becoming my animal person.

You mean like this guy?

Is there one that isn't as outright insulting to the uneducated reader?

Probably Wikipedia, or Wikifur.

This is good, but a fair more effective argument is that the burden of proof is on the person making the claim. If someone claims furries are perverts, it is up to THEM to provide the statistics, not up to you to provide counter-statistics. This is because nothing can be proved to not exist, things can only be proved to exist. If someone makes a claim that being a furry is X, they must prove it is the case, it is not required to prove the contrary. A furry isn't defined by a dictionary yet (at least not one I have access to), but according to wikipedia it is the following...

"The furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics.[SUP][1][/SUP] Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes. Furry fandom is also used to refer to the community of people who gather on the Internet and at conventions.[SUP][2]"[/SUP]

citing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furry_fandom

The furry fandom is a subculture, not a sexuality, not a hobby, according to wikipedia. Just direct them there.

Unlike proving a fact like "all furries are perverts", defining a definition is done by consensus, and if they chose not to agree with an established definition, you can't change their mind.

I can say being an American means you are a space alien, which you can only disprove by citing consensus of what the word "American" means.

So aside from that, that should keep them quiet.

Good point, one can also direct said person(s) to Wikifur, too.

I will contend that the definition of furry means neither lifestyle nor hobby, but rather subculture. Being a furry is akin to being a punk, nerd, goth, jock, gangster, hipster, emo, etc. The reason I reference this, is because a definition cannot be applied to a term in this context. Drawing furry art is a hobby, calling oneself a furry is to admit membership into a subculture... much like listening to rap music is a hobby, but to call oneself a gangster is to declare a subculture. What defines a subculture? Typically it is a generalized idea, and one doesn't even have to be self-aware or even agree to being part of one to be considered in one.

But subcultures are basically a form of identity, how much it makes up your greater identity is up to you.

That's all very true, but it also depends on whether or not you fall into the "Otherkin", or "Therian" category.

Which, I am still learning about. So I cant really put up a sound debate on those areas.
 
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Rilvor

Formal when angry
The old thread was better, the target demographic seems to only understand vicious mental berating half the time.

Some more useful advice would be to tell Furries to stop acting like Moonies and stop preaching about Furry fandom. At all. Most people just don't give a damn, and the people that do are smart enough to not need you to tell them.
 

Xevvy

Gregarious Gremlin
I don't think my parents really need to know that I find anthropomorphic animals sexually desirable, thank you. For the same reason another persons parents don't need to know they're really into BDSM. Because there's certain things people really wouldn't rather have to think about. Then again, that's all furry is for me, an attraction. There are people out there (or rather, right here) that make it a way of life, with fursuits, and conventions and all that stuff I avoid like the plague. I suppose their situation would be different, although I still don't agree in coming out a furry. The idea to me seems stupid.
 

Toshabi

Banned
Banned
Eh, even if one does decide to "come out", just show them this:



Side note: Does anyone know where I can find a better copy of that?


You need to include that


OF THE TOP 20 ARTISTS, 17 ACTIVELY DRAW PORN AND THEY'RE THE MOST VIEWED AND MOST FAV'D SUBMISSIONS IN THE FANDOM


Comparing the porn submissions to clean submissions is sort of misleading, considering how everyone, bad or good, throw up mspaint versions of their mursonas.
 

PastryOfApathy

Well-Known Member
You need to include that


OF THE TOP 20 ARTISTS, 17 ACTIVELY DRAW PORN AND THEY'RE THE MOST VIEWED AND MOST FAV'D SUBMISSIONS IN THE FANDOM


Comparing the porn submissions to clean submissions is sort of misleading, considering how everyone, bad or good, throw up mspaint versions of their mursonas.

Shhhh....we need to present a wholesome and misleading image of ourselves to counteract the evil media who gives zero shits about furfaggotry.
 

Antronach

Bringin' sexy back~
That's all very true, but it also depends on whether or not you fall into the "Otherkin", or "Therian" category.

Ah, perhaps there should be something in the OP related to this sort of subculture, in care the person in question tries to bring up the fact that they wanted to come out as their inner animal.
 
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