Well that relates to another subculture whose relation to furry fandom could be argued to death. Therians.
PSA: About "coming out" as a furry
- Thread starter Mentova
- Start date
PastryOfApathy
Well-Known Member
Trpdwarf
Lurking in Castle Moats
On the topic of "You will not be disowned" I feel it worth a mention, some people do come from families who are anti-everything that doesn't fit into some narrow view of what is "normal" and therefore acceptable. I have met furries who come from such families, but they are often in an extreme minority. The real truth here is that if your family isn't going to be okay with you being furry, they probably will have issues with you being anything else, such as into anime, science fiction, etc.
Generally speaking if you treat something like it's nothing to hide, and you act appropriately and responsibly even very narrow mined families can find it within themselves to just not care.
Generally speaking if you treat something like it's nothing to hide, and you act appropriately and responsibly even very narrow mined families can find it within themselves to just not care.
NoahGryphon
Random pouncing
Il never come out until i have my own house/apartment. One of the ways il do that is by putting furry memorabilia everywhere :3 ( nothing NSFW though)
il also pray to glaux and make my own glauxian church if i get rich
il also pray to glaux and make my own glauxian church if i get rich
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Mentova
I live, I die, I live again
I'm lazy, and you worded it really well, so I'm just gunna quote this in the op. :V
Kitsune Cross
**** that **** now! Bitch
You are creepy
A
Abbi Normal
Guest
I feel like going into Noah's furry shrine apartment would be like the part of a horror movie where you find the psycho killer's hideout and it's full of jars of urine and dead animals, 40 years worth of old newspaper with seemingly random passages highlighted piled around, and some articles stuck up on the wall with weird symbols and designs drawn across them and connected in a big web with string on thumbtacks, surrounded by albums of photos of people who don't know their picture is being taken, with their eyes crossed out and big red X's on some of them, and blood-covered clippings of Bible verses posted and crumpled all over the house, and a summoning circle drawn on the floor in bodily excretions.
Willow
FAF's #1 Terrorist
That's basically it. There are all sorts of families with all sorts of weird disciplines but usually if they're going to legitimately disown their child for having some weird hobby, there's usually more to the story. Like the person in question's parents accidentally found their gay furry yiff stash.
We're trying to not give furries an even worse reputation.
Ozriel
Inglorious Bastard
Ozriel
Inglorious Bastard
Anyways, I've only met a handful that discussed IRL about how to tell their folks that they are a furry. Though, I cannot help but ask why they state that being a furry is their sole identity.
That's another thing to mention if it hasn't been already or covered. I get that if a person is a fan of something, they want to collect things and such of the thing that they enjoy, but something like furry shouldn't encompass 100% of their identity. If you try to relate to someone outside of the furry circle, things stagnate really quickly.
That's another thing to mention if it hasn't been already or covered. I get that if a person is a fan of something, they want to collect things and such of the thing that they enjoy, but something like furry shouldn't encompass 100% of their identity. If you try to relate to someone outside of the furry circle, things stagnate really quickly.
Are you noticing a trend? Perhaps a heart to heart talk with a mod is what he needs.
IAN
Member
Typically the ones who feel they have to "come out" as a furry are the sexually confused teenage boys who are attracted into the furry fandom by the yiff art, assume generic redfox fursonas with no distinctive color markings or attributes, and take what is supposed to be a mere hobby/interest into an obsessive sexual lifestyle.
I honestly feel there needs to be a prequel to this thread: how to CORRECTLY be a furry and not regard to it as a major part of your life. I know it sounds stupid but from my experience there are too many that take it WAY too far than it really should be, and it's no wonder when they tell their parents they don't accept of them. Hell, even as a furry if my kids told me they were like that I wouldn't be happy.
My stance is that if you can't regard or talk about furry to other people in the same manner you would with any other usual hobby (sports, motorcycle riding, music, etc.), then you are taking the fandom much. too far.
I honestly feel there needs to be a prequel to this thread: how to CORRECTLY be a furry and not regard to it as a major part of your life. I know it sounds stupid but from my experience there are too many that take it WAY too far than it really should be, and it's no wonder when they tell their parents they don't accept of them. Hell, even as a furry if my kids told me they were like that I wouldn't be happy.
My stance is that if you can't regard or talk about furry to other people in the same manner you would with any other usual hobby (sports, motorcycle riding, music, etc.), then you are taking the fandom much. too far.
TheRH100
阴茎 :V
I WAS gonna tell my parents what furries are and asked to go to anthrocon (because I live within driving distance to pittsburgh) BUUUUT....
Google images beat me to telling my parents what furries are, and my parents are solid on their beliefs, so I'm fucked, but not disowned. My parents may simply look at me weird. (and also take away internet)
So as a thing I did, I told my parents I would keep away from the fandom, but stuck to it anyways as a closet furry, I tell the people at my high school because most of them don't even know what a furry is, except for some close "friends" who got the wrong idea of it. One girl even said "let's put on some fursuit and let's have furry sex". I mean, I felt like I was the one being victimized here.
What's one thing cool though is that my parents have seen some of my sketches of furries and they think that furry fandom =/= drawings of anthropomorphic animals.
Google images beat me to telling my parents what furries are, and my parents are solid on their beliefs, so I'm fucked, but not disowned. My parents may simply look at me weird. (and also take away internet)
So as a thing I did, I told my parents I would keep away from the fandom, but stuck to it anyways as a closet furry, I tell the people at my high school because most of them don't even know what a furry is, except for some close "friends" who got the wrong idea of it. One girl even said "let's put on some fursuit and let's have furry sex". I mean, I felt like I was the one being victimized here.
What's one thing cool though is that my parents have seen some of my sketches of furries and they think that furry fandom =/= drawings of anthropomorphic animals.
Inpw
Roller Coaster Imagineer.
True but I wouldn't use this argument as it can easily place you on thin ice considering that almost everyone is sexually perverted in some sense.
Troj
Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
RH's post also illustrates the importance of "scaffolding" people when you intend to educate them about furry things. Unfortunately, the internet being what it is, you usually can't just drop the word "furry" into the conversation and then toddle off, because if the explanation you've just given lacks necessary details or important context, of course many people will ask or Google around in an attempt to fill in the blanks.
Usually, my goal is to either make the furry fandom sound so humdrum, so wildly diverse, and/or so charmingly well-intentioned at heart that people won't feel an excessive need to go trawling around for more details.
If people seem curious and eager to learn more, I will actively point them towards the works of specific fursuiters, performers, and artists. My hope and assumption is that if I can help people form a positive first impression of the fandom, they'll be more likely to consider negative or iffy things exceptions to the rule.
Given what's out there on the Interwebs, I would consider telling a person just to Google "furry" sans context to be a VERY BAD IDEA. DO NOT DO THAT.
If I suspect that a person might come into contact with Bad Press or the Dark Side of the Fandom, I might casually mention that furries are an often-stigmatized group, due to the behavior of a few "bad eggs," drama stirred up by some of the younger and/or more socially inept members of the fandom, and the larger society's homophobic tendencies.
After mention this, I will explain that while the community really makes a concerted effort to be accepting and tolerant, the aforementioned "bad eggs" are typically resented and disliked by the wider community, and that the worst ones are eventually banned from conventions and gatherings.
Usually, my goal is to either make the furry fandom sound so humdrum, so wildly diverse, and/or so charmingly well-intentioned at heart that people won't feel an excessive need to go trawling around for more details.
If people seem curious and eager to learn more, I will actively point them towards the works of specific fursuiters, performers, and artists. My hope and assumption is that if I can help people form a positive first impression of the fandom, they'll be more likely to consider negative or iffy things exceptions to the rule.
Given what's out there on the Interwebs, I would consider telling a person just to Google "furry" sans context to be a VERY BAD IDEA. DO NOT DO THAT.
If I suspect that a person might come into contact with Bad Press or the Dark Side of the Fandom, I might casually mention that furries are an often-stigmatized group, due to the behavior of a few "bad eggs," drama stirred up by some of the younger and/or more socially inept members of the fandom, and the larger society's homophobic tendencies.
After mention this, I will explain that while the community really makes a concerted effort to be accepting and tolerant, the aforementioned "bad eggs" are typically resented and disliked by the wider community, and that the worst ones are eventually banned from conventions and gatherings.
IAN
Member
My advice for those who are having to deal with those people who are misinformed by the most negative of stereotypes and aspects of the furry fandom, is to compare it to whatever group/hobby/etc. that they associate with.
My parents both know I'm a furry and have had no trouble with them. As far as I can tell they are unaware of the negative stereotypes, or are familiar but know they are stereotypes (my mother seems pretty educated on it seeing how she came to me knowing a bit about the construction fursuits, and the costs; she claimed she researched it one day). However I knew if they had encountered any negative stereotypes, it would be easily to explain to them otherwise.
To start, I and they are both Republicans based on economic viewpoint, and know damn well how much they are stereotyped as bible-thumping loonies who wish death upon gays and the poor and all that shit. Which in some cases, can be and IS true, but not at all fair to say every single right-leaning voter is that way.
The only other reason someone would give you shit aside from being misinformed is if they are just hating because it's a "cool" and "edgy" thing to do, like that kid from my one thread. Those people you can either just ignore or try to prove yourself as a superior lifeform than them (usually pretty easy).
My parents both know I'm a furry and have had no trouble with them. As far as I can tell they are unaware of the negative stereotypes, or are familiar but know they are stereotypes (my mother seems pretty educated on it seeing how she came to me knowing a bit about the construction fursuits, and the costs; she claimed she researched it one day). However I knew if they had encountered any negative stereotypes, it would be easily to explain to them otherwise.
To start, I and they are both Republicans based on economic viewpoint, and know damn well how much they are stereotyped as bible-thumping loonies who wish death upon gays and the poor and all that shit. Which in some cases, can be and IS true, but not at all fair to say every single right-leaning voter is that way.
The only other reason someone would give you shit aside from being misinformed is if they are just hating because it's a "cool" and "edgy" thing to do, like that kid from my one thread. Those people you can either just ignore or try to prove yourself as a superior lifeform than them (usually pretty easy).
TheRH100
阴茎 :V
I'll wait until 2014 or whenever I am confident enough to tell my parents. Actually, what I'll do is make a slow transition for them into my life online. I already started by showing sketches, but as I show more and more bit by bit, I will slowly introduce them into the correct example of what a furry is, then when the time is right, I will tell them that that is what the furry fandom is all about. Thank you ian because I will also tell them about stereotypes that our family has because me and my parents are republican, though I'm a bit more liberal than my parents.
At least this plan is better than just charging into the living room asking to go to anthrocon 2013 because I'm a furry without any further explanation other than "but they're misunderstood". If this doesn't work I'll be sure to swallow some tail hair from my first fursuit. (when I get one)
At least this plan is better than just charging into the living room asking to go to anthrocon 2013 because I'm a furry without any further explanation other than "but they're misunderstood". If this doesn't work I'll be sure to swallow some tail hair from my first fursuit. (when I get one)
gmnchampion
Sports Fanatic
I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am still learning more about the fandom but I thought I should mention this story:
In college last year I was a part of my college's anime society where you get a wide range of characters. One of my fellow officers of the club said he was going to a furry convention that coming weekend and asked me how I thought about it. I told him "I am not sure" because of the image the media has shown a negative connectivity, but then I decided to actually look up what the term actually meant. I wasn't surprised to learn that the media was incorrect. My colleague later came back to me and I told him "it was no big deal" and told him that it was similar to me liking sports: some people are into it, some people aren't.
While I feel uncomfortable letting certain people in my life be aware about my interest in the fandom, the people who I care more about already know. It's not something I am broadcasting but at the same time it's not like I am hiding it either.
In college last year I was a part of my college's anime society where you get a wide range of characters. One of my fellow officers of the club said he was going to a furry convention that coming weekend and asked me how I thought about it. I told him "I am not sure" because of the image the media has shown a negative connectivity, but then I decided to actually look up what the term actually meant. I wasn't surprised to learn that the media was incorrect. My colleague later came back to me and I told him "it was no big deal" and told him that it was similar to me liking sports: some people are into it, some people aren't.
While I feel uncomfortable letting certain people in my life be aware about my interest in the fandom, the people who I care more about already know. It's not something I am broadcasting but at the same time it's not like I am hiding it either.
Lucient
US Marine
Yeah, I think this thread just nails the notion that "It's a hobby, so nobody really needs to know".
Me personally, I only told 1 or 2 of my closest friends, I mean hell, my girlfriend of like 3 years doesn't even know or my parents. They don't need to know I'm weird (When applied to their definition of weird). But hey, there are plenty of people out there who will rag on you for it. Just ask most furs. But hey, good for you for investigating it. Most people just listen to the loudest person in the room.
Me personally, I only told 1 or 2 of my closest friends, I mean hell, my girlfriend of like 3 years doesn't even know or my parents. They don't need to know I'm weird (When applied to their definition of weird). But hey, there are plenty of people out there who will rag on you for it. Just ask most furs. But hey, good for you for investigating it. Most people just listen to the loudest person in the room.
Runefox
Kitsune of the PC Master Race
Anyone who makes the conscious decision to 'come out' as furry has no right to complain when nobody they tell understands it and/or thinks that they're into bestiality or otherwise are a complete loon.
There is not now, nor will there ever be any reason to do so. It is a fandom. It's not a sexuality. It's not a way of life. It's a thing that you like. It's the same thing as Star Trek or Star Wars, where some people devote much of their lives to the fandom. Even so, it's not at all necessary or even a good idea to go up to your friends and family and say something like "Now I don't want you to freak out, but... I'm a Furry/Warsie/Trekkie/Brony/Otaku/whatever." And even less when they don't understand following up with a lengthy explanation of what it is.
Just don't do it. You'll do yourself a favour and those you'd be telling. It is absolutely not worth the trouble.
There is not now, nor will there ever be any reason to do so. It is a fandom. It's not a sexuality. It's not a way of life. It's a thing that you like. It's the same thing as Star Trek or Star Wars, where some people devote much of their lives to the fandom. Even so, it's not at all necessary or even a good idea to go up to your friends and family and say something like "Now I don't want you to freak out, but... I'm a Furry/Warsie/Trekkie/Brony/Otaku/whatever." And even less when they don't understand following up with a lengthy explanation of what it is.
Just don't do it. You'll do yourself a favour and those you'd be telling. It is absolutely not worth the trouble.
Jags
Shepherd of Fire
The fact that the fandom is seen as something to be hidden, and then people feel the need to reveal as a grand secret saddens me.
Tthere are so many hobbies that just shouldn't bother anyone, but get locked away in shame as 'too nerdy' is quite sad; and the whole 'people can't know or they'd hate me!' chain of thought is only making it worse.
Tthere are so many hobbies that just shouldn't bother anyone, but get locked away in shame as 'too nerdy' is quite sad; and the whole 'people can't know or they'd hate me!' chain of thought is only making it worse.
Runefox
Kitsune of the PC Master Race
Well, there's reasons why the fandom is seen the way it is, but personally I maintain a policy of "it's a hobby, a thing that I like, and I don't need to shout it to the rooftops." If someone finds out, fine, I don't really care. But I'm not going to run around telling everyone about it for no reason.
Percy
o-o
Just puts things into perspective, doesn't it? There's certainly much more serious things you can tell a parent than "oh, by the way, I'm a furry". At least that is something that a parent could likely just not give a damn about.