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PSA: About "coming out" as a furry

Amber_Sakura_Wolf

Active Member
This doesn't sound like it was because you were a furry, though, going back to what you originally said.
Like Troj mentioned, it's more likely the people who you started with (your family) might not be that welcoming. I still hope it gets better for you, though.
They just think it’s weird. Most see the bad things while I try to find the good in what’s there. They don’t see that this saved my life, or that I was endangering myself at all.
 

PercyD

Lover of Beasty Baes
They just think it’s weird. Most see the bad things while I try to find the good in what’s there. They don’t see that this saved my life, or that I was endangering myself at all.
Then it's weird *shrug*
I think people who obsess over television dramas are weird, but they're certainly not sweating my opinion.
You make your normal.
 
M

ManicTherapsid

Guest
IMO. It's really not much different than being a Steampunker or a Trekkie.
 

CommonBard

Active Member
I am cautious about mentioning that I'm a furry because I don't know how my family will react, the spectrum of possible responses is wide. I happen to like my siblings, and I don't want to loose them.

So, I have a plan:

Step 1: mention to family that I want to learn how to draw. (Which I started doing anyway after figuring out I'm a furry, but learning takes time. This step for me is already done.)
Step 2: mention to family that I'm doing a night class on sketching. (for my job this serves marginal benefits, which may serve as an adequate excuse. And to be fair I've heard its a great way to meet people, so I plan on doing this anyway.)
Step 3: Provide art to my family, but mention that I'm still bad at drawing human faces. (which is true right now)
Step 4: Provide art where I get around my inability to draw human faces by drawing anthro animal faces.
Step 5: Provide a fursona, mentioning that I made this sweet profile pic to use for online interactions and such. Mention how I enjoyed the process of getting to select an animal to represent me, how I still tried to weave my characteristics into the fursona. I got the idea from [insert any movie with anthro animals]
Step 6: Happen to learn that there is a name for people that are fans of anthro animals. And wouldn't you know it, by some looser definitions of furry, I am one too.
Step 7: Should they be more familiar with the worst furry stereotypes, just diffuse it with the positive social aspects and mention some furry documentaries that address these issues.

Boom, problem solved in a controlled, more casual and gradual way. No more awkwardness, no more anxiety about it.
I think it'll work.... hopefully.
 

Jakarva

Meme Yeen
My mom already knew I cosplay, out of the blue one day I just went "I'm a furry" she was like wut. but ended up just going with it as a facet of cosplay, which it is in a way anyway
 

Troj

Your Friendly Neighborhood Dino Therapist
Unless they're utterly deranged or their hearts are made of stone, most people will admit that the art of people like Sixth Leaf Clover, Sabretoothed Ermine, Dark Natasha, Tani DaReal, and Idess is truly impressive and beautiful, and that Komicrazi, Beastcub, Sparky Can Do, and Clockwork Creatures (to name a few) make mighty fine fursuits.

I dare somebody to look at a fursuit like the Gem Raptor or Isabel the unicorn and be snarky and dismissive.

I also think the recent Lisa Ling documentary about furries was delightful. Again, anyone with a heart should, in theory, be able to sympathize with the people she profiled.
 

Liseran Thistle

They/Them
never quite understood the need to "Come out" as being a furry, because to me all i do for the community is draw cute dogsona's and shit. If you wanna make a fursuit one day and go to a convention than i don't think that's a really big deal. Like it's just a costume of a giant animal, and they aren't hurting anyone, and if people think its strange than they really ought to just keep their comments to themselves.

If being a furry is dumb and it doesn't matter, than people wouldn't really care if furries existed in the first place. Like if its pointless, than why do you care if other people do it? That being said, there are a lot of aspects to the furry fandom that get brushed off or just plain ignored. Like, a bunch of people will fawn over cosplays of anime characters or cat girls, but if someone goes over the top with their fursuit and they put a lot of effort into designing it and making it themselves, its treated like a bad thing, like this person wasted their time because its furry related.

It's just a hobby people like to do, if you have a problem with people enjoying their life in a different way than you, than just shut the hell up and keep it to yourself.
 
I had experiment with being a furry in the past for years, but i have come to accept it. I don't want to preach the gospel of the flurries or wear a fur suit. Instead, i just want
to express my desires in the way I want without being seen as a freak if nature.
 

MuFFinZ

Member
Think most have already been said, so i'll just toss some of my own coins in here ^^

"coming out" as a furry is not needed as it's only a hobby and subculture.
But if you are hugely invested in it, telling people that you are a furry is often a good idea unless your gut feeling says otherwise..

If you only hold it to yourself, there is a risk that it will grow into feeling that it is something to be ashamed of, and can start to be a burden in relations.
And it does not feel good with constantly creating lies or dodging questions for covering it up.
I'm a pretty open person, and would start to feel awful if i needed to cover large parts of my life up.
But i also don't have the urge telling everyone about it, just the people that is close to me :3

But in the end, it's your life, only you decide how to play with the cards given to you ^^

Recently told all my family, friends and coworkers that i was a furry.
Sent them some pictures of me with fursuiters from the con, with a short review of my experience from it and how fun it had been.
When i came back to work, some coworkes actually bowed to me and said it looked awesome.
It really made their day and now i feel i can be the true werido i am with good confidence :D

Edit: would never ever have told anyone on my previous workplace, was not close as good of a vibe there.

Most "negative" reaction i got was from a friend, but it was more that he was happy that i found something i liked, but he don't want anything to do with it.
And that i can accept, it's not for everyone ^^

If friends can't accept what you do for fun, then it's a clear sign of a really shallow friendship.
 

CommonBard

Active Member
Edit: would never ever have told anyone on my previous workplace, was not close as good of a vibe there.

That clarification is what I am not sure about. I don't know how specific people will react. There must have been a specific reason that prompted you to not tell them.

At worst, I fear telling a friend that I'm a furry, then over the next few weeks slowly feeling a distance form. I would then feel rejected in the most open ended way possible, no understanding, no closure, just the end of communication. Granted this hasn't happened to me yet, but that fear is still there. It sucks that at the end of the day we just don't know how someone will react. It sucks that we can't predict the future.

Since I've only joined the fandom recently, the struggle for me is this:
Most previously established friendships were made by a person who wasn't a furry. But now I am. Do I change the status quo, and risk rejection? or do I maintain normalcy? The answer changes from person to person.

That being said
If friends can't accept what you do for fun, then it's a clear sign of a really shallow friendship.

I completely agree, which is why I've told most of my friends. But I still had to work up the courage to do so.
 

MuFFinZ

Member
That clarification is what I am not sure about. I don't know how specific people will react. There must have been a specific reason that prompted you to not tell them.
Yeah, it was more of a bully mentality at that place, did not want to become an easy target for that.
Even if some were pretty nice, i didn't really consider them as friends.
Also, the furry fandom was a passive interest for me then, so didn't really feel the urge to tell anyone about it. ^^

Had pretty low confidence & self esteem at that time compared to now.
Today i would have been tempted doing it ,just to challenge their attitude.
But would probably still decide not to, as i saw little to gain and much to loose.


At worst, I fear telling a friend that I'm a furry, then over the next few weeks slowly feeling a distance form. I would then feel rejected in the most open ended way possible, no understanding, no closure, just the end of communication. Granted this hasn't happened to me yet, but that fear is still there. It sucks that at the end of the day we just don't know how someone will react. It sucks that we can't predict the future.

This fear i know all to well.
But everytime i have challenged it, i have found that people starts to like & respect me more for having the guts to be myself ^^
 

Dusty_Stripes

New Member
I don't see the need to "come out" as furry either. I never really had. I consider the furry fandom a hobby.

When I first began drawing furry characters years ago, I was super proud of what I drew and shown it to anybody I could. They were probably horrible sketches since I was learning to also draw, but I felt proud of the characters I created. It really cured me of the boredom of living in a small town and let me escape into my own world.

I'm not quite as open with my furry/anthropomorphic artwork as I was though. I might show my art to a close coworker, family member or a friend, but if I get the vibe they don't like it, I don't share it with them any longer. If they do like it, I'll show them what I do periodically.
 

Kylan Velpa

Cyan Gentle-fox
Banned
I can keep a secret. I'm very reliable like that. But not if it's my own. I'm a very open person with my friends, and keeping things from them seemed to have a detrimental psychological impact. Even after 2 days of finding out!

So I had to tell someone. And then I had to tell a couple more. And now I feel much better. But it's kind of annoying because I actually want to talk the thing through with a friend in person. And my friends don't care. They are only interested in the general gist. Anything beyond that and I'm making a big deal of it. Which is preferable to rejection, of course!

But whatever. My parents don't know, and I don't need them to. Yet!

And my closest friends know, which is what matters most to me.

Now I'm just struggling to find some furry friends.
 

Kylan Velpa

Cyan Gentle-fox
Banned
Im not coming out
I can see why.
My friends are not judgemental, so that's not a problem for me.

Even then though, there are problems.
I have ended up telling 14 people now, 8 of whom I didn't even want to tell, but backed myself into a corner.

I don't mind so much though, as long as no-one gets the wrong impression and Mum doesn't find out until I'm ready.
 
I don't really see a reason to tell everyone. Haven't told my parents because they don't have the slightest idea what it is and same for my big sister. My little sister knows but I didn't have to say it because it's so damn obvious. And my friends don't give a shit, didn't have to tell them either. Ofcorse everyone cringe when I walk around with a freaking arctic fox head on but they know that it's not a fetish and since I haven't made a big deal out of it neither do they. They know I like to look like a complete idiot in public but they respect it because they would not dare to do it themselves. The only people who have been disrespectful are internet trolls.
 

Garfieldthefatkittey

Positive on tests
I can see why.
My friends are not judgemental, so that's not a problem for me.

Even then though, there are problems.
I have ended up telling 14 people now, 8 of whom I didn't even want to tell, but backed myself into a corner.

I don't mind so much though, as long as no-one gets the wrong impression and Mum doesn't find out until I'm ready.
I can see why.
My friends are not judgemental, so that's not a problem for me.

Even then though, there are problems.
I have ended up telling 14 people now, 8 of whom I didn't even want to tell, but backed myself into a corner.

I don't mind so much though, as long as no-one gets the wrong impression and Mum doesn't find out until I'm ready.
I have judgemental friends
 

wolflover44

Active Member
I just recently came out as bisexual this year so coming out as a furry isn't needed already got flack for being Bi nobody is going to judge or make a big deal out being a fur
 

Jade Stone

New Member
Hey, so I haven't actually come out as a furry yet, and I was wondering if anyone could give me advice or tips from personal experience??
 

Liseran Thistle

They/Them
Hey, so I haven't actually come out as a furry yet, and I was wondering if anyone could give me advice or tips from personal experience??

I have advice. Don't. There's no reason to actually come out as a furry, because the furry fandom is just a hobby and not a facet of your identity. You don't have to make a special announcement to your friends and family about something that interests you, just live your best life.

being a furry isn't like being gay, its not something that is apart of you specifically as an individual. To "Come out" as a furry would be like coming out and saying you like to knit wool sweaters in your off time.
 
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