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red lines needed please

Namba

Well-Known Member
Okay, it's been a while, but I've been busy and all so.. yeah, haven't quit.
Anyway, here's the picture:

Of course the obvious mistakes are... well... obvious, such as the bird's arm appearing to be broken or just plain off, and the dog's pinky being way too damn big. Other than that, if anyone can spot more things I could do to touch 'em up, gimme a hollar.
 
Even if you're drawing with biro, you still need to do the form before you do the shape. Everything feels disconnected because you've drawn the clothes and the body at the same time.

Get rid of the biro and get a pencil. Work on undersketches, and draw the whole body before adding the clothes. That will help you immensely.
 

Namba

Well-Known Member
Hey, but don't hold back anything. I'd like to know; c'mon, it's a drawing... something that in the grand scheme of things won't matter that much, so it's not gonna hurt my feelings. I'm not gonna bite yer head off; I'll merely agree.
 

Fay V

Lost to this world
You use a lot of straight lines with the features and it's a bit strange. For instance the dog's ears and snout, they don't look right because they are triangles, especially the snout because it shows that he doesn't really have a jaw bone in his head. His torso is also too long.
It looks like you got your bird reference from bigbird so I'll leave the neck lumps alone.
All in all it looks okay, mostly just heavily stylized. I agree that you need to use pencil or something and draw the figures beneath. It will lead to a much more interesting picture as you can draw poses better. Right now they look stiff and almost like they are at attention.
 

Zydala

Kisses for everyone!
The expressions on the characters don't match the 'personalities' that are above them. The dog doesn't really look like a suck-up (eager to agree/please), he looks like he's stand-offish and bites back. Also the bird guy too - he doesn't look so much indifferent as much as he looks like he's sort of a smart-ass whose quite irked at the audience at the moment.

Expressions and building certain personalities into characters is sort of a trick in itself - there's visual cues you can give a viewer to show what kind of person they are without even needing those subtitles. That, though, is a bit down the road as far as your skill level goes - just keep working on the basics and learning how to structure your figures for now.
 

Taralack

Hit 'em right between the eyes
Their poses are kind of stiff and don't really show their personalities well. For example, the suck-up character might be wringing his hands with a kind of pathetic expression on his face, the slacker would be slouching, etc. The only on you got it right for is the indifferent one, who I would have made to put his hands in his pockets as well.

One thing I can commend you on though, the designs of the characters are pretty good, at least compared to some of the fare we get around here. You should research some clothing as well to give them more oomph - t-shirts and shorts on one character may be fine, but put it on three characters in the same image and it gets kinda boring.
 

Namba

Well-Known Member
Wow... Real criticism!
I really can't thank you guys enough for putting all that time and thought into your comments; finally some meaningful and thoughtful criticism instead of going "it looks fine, don't worry about it"
So now that that's outta the way... All the feedback was really good but a few major things I would like to acknowledge are first of all form and expressions on the characters... Needs a damn lot of work, you're right; it's sad how little progress I've made over the past year and a half, but then again, I haven't worked as hard as I should have lol
Second the big bird reference thing... This was drawn entirely from my head, and to be honest I thought the same exact thing after I had finished XD at first I considered changing it but you know... Nothing can ever be truly 100% original (sorry if people disagree with that), I just find it amusing now :p And thanks for the commendation Toraneko lol
 

FireFeathers

Mr. Red Flag
Hey, but don't hold back anything.

I AM CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THIS ONE.


Your characters are about to fall over, the stance is unnatural and very stiff. The back foot on both the bird and the... I dunno what the middle guy is, i'll guess a pig; bird and the pig doesn't quite convey that it's on the ground, both look a little more pudgy and slightly raised, like they're about to step on a glass for a jewish wedding. You're gonna need a stronger sense of anatomy, the kinda elongated parentheses things that you have going on for the bird make it come out lumpy. Birds have some effin' strange legs, and it can be a fun stylization tool to use, naturally fucked up looking legs that birds naturally have. From a stylization standpoint, you might want to change the bird and the pig's hair, they're more or less the same thing. Switch up some of the shirts, change things up a little.

So, work on anatomy, try and loosen up your character's spines, and change things up for a stronger design overall, that's best i can figure for ya. :D
 

Thaily

Member
Even toony artists should reference real life examples of what they're drawing, studying a sloth will help you recognize and exaggerate the features so it will be recognizable as such.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloth

Typical features:
- Hunched pose, prominent shoulders.
- Long arms
- Large curved claws
- Small eyes
- Big nose

More advanced features:
- Direction of hair growth is towards the back rather than towards the belly, so as to shed rain better when they're hanging upside down.
- Can grow algae on their fur and thus appear green.
etc.

Realistic vs. toony with exaggerated features.

((Sloppy, it's a quick doodle))

He looks a little too upbeat here maybe... I could imagine him with a popped collar actually. I bet his name is Chad. Asshole.

You'll have to think about what you want your character to be like and then look at people who remind you of those characteristics.
Like how would you recognize a slacker; he doesn't wash/iron his shirts, messy, uncut hair, scuffed up sneakers, never see him carrying any books and such.
 

Namba

Well-Known Member
Hey yeah! I see what you mean; thanks! I have enough people in my like I can pay attention to... Why did that never occur to me? >.<
His name is Chad... Yep. The popped collar= incredibly douchey

Thanks for taking the time to do and say all of that. I greatly appreciate it
 
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Namba

Well-Known Member
Okay, these are sketches, but do I have the basic idea? I'm totally redesigning the sloth btw

I was off somewhere and only had a few pens at hand :p Red= I spotted something, but still don't trust it lol
 

Icky

is the prettiest pony~
Okay, I'm new to this whole critique and redline thing, but I hope this is close to what you were looking for.
 

Thaily

Member
Something that helps with slanty issues is to flip your canvas horizontally, it'll pop out all your issues

Or upside down.

I agree with Toraneko.
Maybe try drawing him doing something, it'll help you with character development as well; what's the sort of stuff he'd do?
Taking a nap during class, sneaking a smoke behind the school..
 

Namba

Well-Known Member
Okay, I'm new to this whole critique and redline thing, but I hope this is close to what you were looking for.
Trolling is illegal in six different states; two are apathy, three are shock, one is fear and nine are confusion... lol ya smart-ass XD

That sounds good; I need more practice with gesture drawing for sure... From what you suggested would be the things he does... Well that pretty much describes this kid at my school that got kicked out lol ...I find all this really really helpful, and I'm gonna try all you guys have said... Btw I've heard that "flip it upside-down" technique before... Haven't done it enough ^^;
 

Kaluna

*squeak squeak squeak*


Something that helps with slanty issues is to flip your canvas horizontally, it'll pop out all your issues


THIS THIS THIS THIS!

I can't tell you how many times I've been drawing something and thinking "Well, something is off...." and then I flip the canvas and I'm like, "AUGH! Why is that eye there?!?"

It really does help, especially with the 3/4 view that you're doing here.
 
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