I don’t like doing it so every conversation I’m in tends to die off. How do I get people to be more interested in starting convos?
Have to agree with this. It sounds bad to say it out loud but the general internet populace is unfortunately comprised of a cocktail of self-interest, anti-social behaviour and anxiety all in varying amount.When you talking with someone, especially if it's on here, it might help find out what they want to talk about and discuss that, since that is more likely to interest and engage them. You also want to ask them themselves so you can better get to know them and figure whether you both have things in common which could talk about.
A lot conversation are cut short because someone would rather talk about themselves or what they like instead of who the other person is and what they want.
I'd disagree about the internet community and people in general being anti-social, though sometimes that is a factor. Most people want to talk and enjoy some company at least some of the time. The problem is they might not be the best conversationalists, which can stall a lot of conversations. People might ask awkward questions or bring topics that the other person might not want to discuss with strangers. You, generally speaking, also can't expect to talk mainly about what you want to someone you just met either; on the internet or in real life, that will usually turn people off because most people want their say to be heard too. It's got to be give and take.Have to agree with this. It sounds bad to say it out loud but the general internet populace is unfortunately comprised of a cocktail of self-interest, anti-social behaviour and anxiety all in varying amount.
Approaching someone with topics that interest them are the best way to really keep conversation. The key is to maintain interest so that you can, over time, overcome the barriers many (including myself admittedly) have put up over the years.
True. You definitely wouldn't catch me around a dating site, or even a roleplay forum.It's a problem on a lot of platforms and women tend to more careful than men about who they talk to
That must be a small percentage on the net in general because I rarely see people who want serious discussion anymore. Most are as you say, all about the jokes and memes and 'fluff' interactions (or arguments and/or trolling).a portion of people here want serious and fulfilling conversations ... but don't talk in a manner most people will find serious and fulfilling.
Honestly, I think it's always best to have a core of real life friends you hold you down and to be there for each other. One of the sucky things about the pandemic was I couldn't hang out with a lot of friends in real life and the only friends I did meet up with were about a dozen people who agreed form a "pod" and act sensibly. That core and my girlfriend basically got me through the pandemic, though I'm hoping this summer is more normal.That must be a small percentage on the net in general because I rarely see people who want serious discussion anymore. Most are as you say, all about the jokes and memes and 'fluff' interactions (or arguments and/or trolling).
I have noticed that people have become more about the 'entertainment value' than the conversation. They treat others like they treat silly videos on YouTube; they stick around until they get bored, and then they leave. That's nowhere near enough time to get to know anyone.
Maybe it's time for me to forget about the internet and start trying to find people in person…
*Spends 15 minutes nervously trying to think of one thing to say*I have the same issue with initiating conversations that don't start with questions, but you don't have to be the initiator to keep a conversation going. Very few want to hold conversations with people they don't know that last longer than an hour or so these days, so you may not be doing anything wrong. The ghosting is ridiculous. I don't understand how anyone meets new people anymore with such anti-social behavior. It was so much easier when I was younger.
Based. I was very good at initiating and carrying conversations as a kid (maybe too much to the point of being annoying), and now I struggle with it. Used to think it was just anxiety, but now I wonder if some 'spark' has faded with time and experience.*Spends 15 minutes nervously trying to think of one thing to say*
*Ends up saying nothing*
;-; and I used to seem to be able to at least talk a bit
This is right around where my brain has an error and goes into blue screen mode. Call it 'imposter syndrome' or maybe 'perfectionist paralysis' but I always feel that it's 'not good enough' of an opener and/or I just see it as 'too simple', so I just... don't initiate.Also, stating the obvious, a good way to start a conversation is to ask the person how they're doing.
Well, if it "dies off" then in my mind- that means that it's already started, right?I don’t like doing it so every conversation I’m in tends to die off. How do I get people to be more interested in starting convos?
Too much workWell, if it "dies off" then in my mind- that means that it's already started, right?
So... by replying more and following up with them more.... it may give them the message that the conversation is still relevant and interesting to you - and they may in turn wish to follow up and continue it.