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Romance and sexuality: How do you handle them?

Xitheon

The cat's mother.
Asexual but very romantic here. I love love and affection. But sex isn't for me. I don't know why sex is so important to most people. I'm possibly a bit phobic.

The only real relationship I had was with a man and I surprised myself (and him) by being incredibly cuddly and affectionate. But that was it. I loved cuddling and kissing and showing physical affection, but I didn't have any desire to have sex with him. I was in love but I didn't have any urges.
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
This has been something that has always confused me. At first (Real young, maybe like 13 or so) i was straight, there was no other options right! Then furry porn. And then im gay, because that seemed cool. But women were always cool as well, so then I was bi. Then later there are trans people, which are cool as well, now im pan! Sooooo now im just super confused. Sexuality to me isn't really like a 'sex/gender' based thing for me. it really depends on the person. If their personality is there then im there. So instead of using a word I just go with the feel. we're all people with complicated emotions feelings and wants and there isn't really going to be a word for everything single thing we are, because that means we need to fit into little boxes. I go with the flow, love who I love, and uh.. replicate with who I like :3
 

Yakamaru

Spookdogg
Hmm. Let me ask this as well.

What do you put into the prospect of a relationship? What expectations do you have when you approach or are being approached if someone is asking? And if someone don't care for or don't want to be physical or romantic, how would you react to it?

I separate romance and physical aspects because I find them an important distinction.

"Love is love", as this vague concept goes, but is that enough? People generally have physical needs, wants and urges they need to have satisfied.
 
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Muttmutt

Absolute Menace
Hmm. Let me ask this as well.

What do you put into the prospect of a relationship? What expectations do you have when you approach or are being approached if someone is asking? And if someone don't care for or don't want to be physical or romantic, how would you react to it?

I separate romance and physical aspects because I find them an important distinction.

"Love is love", as this vague concept goes, but is that enough? People generally have physical needs, wants and urges they need to have satisfied.

I think “love is love” is meant to say that gay relationships are equal to straight ones.

I do agree that people have needs. You have to be compatible in multiple ways - sexually, emotionally, romantically, and logistically. Each of those categories will vary relationship to relationship. I do think that sex and romance are intertwined. All living creatures have the urge to reproduce deeply ingrained within them. Romance, as a biological concept, stems from the need for reproduction. They’re not mutually exclusive concepts - they are certainly deeply intertwined. However, there’s also many distinct separations between the two. Some might feel more sexually attracted to one sex over the other. I don’t think this makes them separate from romance, though. Just not exactly the same. There’s a lot of overlap in there.

At the end of the day, human sexuality is more fluid and complex than can be fit into a small box or label. Every relationship between two (or more!) partners is very unique. It’s almost certain no two relationships will be the same. Only each individual person can know their own selves and their relationship preferences.

Honestly, I think you’d feel better not complicating it or needing labels. Sometimes you need to take risks in relationships. There've been many times I’ve taken a blind leap into a relationship that felt right and it turned out well for me. I typically approach relationships with the mindset that I’ll take things casual and feel it out. Almost every single time I’ve done this, it’s turned out well for me. Sometimes you just need to follow your heart and if it turns out it ain’t the right path, take a different one. You never know how you’ll feel until you’re actually in a relationship/engaging in intimacy. Remember that it’s also possible you are conflating anxiety and trust issues with low sex drive/interest in sex.

TL;DR - don't overcomplicate it
 

Raever

Chaotic Neutral Wreckage
Personally speaking I've been relatively open and curious about myself and my identity for almost my entire life, so I have the unique perspective of someone who never felt like I had to hide or combine a specific set of things in order to fit in or make sense to other people.

I'm grateful for this, as I know many do have to hide or feel the need to conform or combine for quite a lot of developmental years.

That being said, as a child growing up I at first thought I was heterosexual, but quickly and openly embraced the idea that I could be bisexual. When I got older I realized that I lacked sexual attraction to men, so that later became Biromantic-Homosexual.

As the years went on I recognized patterns in my sexual identity that didn't quite fit the norm, so that too evolved into Biromantic-Demihomosexual...only to then change to Homoromantic-Greysexual when I recognized that...well, sure I could have sex with guys/have sexual fantasies including men and even develop strong Platonic bonds with them but I don't quite think I feel the same way about them as I do about females.

My heart is gay but my body is Adaptable, haha. The only reason Grey is in there is because I have months or even years where I just don't want physical contact...but they can be rather sporadic and unpredictable.

Sexuality and Romantic Orientation evolves with life experience and figuring out what's right for you. There is no one way to handle it, and keeping one thing in a box to suit another won't really work either.

When it comes to love, that too, shouldn't be kept in a box. If you're attracted to both genders and feel you need both in your life to have a healthy and happy sex life then maybe open relationships or polyamory might be your thing. If you only want one sexually but only want the other romantically then maybe having a romantic partner with a sexual friend or a sexual partner with a romantic friend might be worth looking into.

If you're highly monogamous and want your partner to be monogamous, but you're ace and they want more from you, find out what you can do as an Ace to make things work --- or find a partner who will be happy with what you bring to the table.

There's nothing wrong with having a purely romantic relationship with no sex or a purely sexual relationship with no romance. The first doesn't mean you can't make each other feel good in other ways, and the second doesn't equate to not being close to that person on a Platonic level.

Whatever you do, don't stifle yourself.
You'll never feel understood or appreciated that way.

As far as my relationships go, they've all been different (monogamous, polyamorous, open, etc.) and have served as learning experiences for me to show what will and won't work for me. I haven't quite found the relationship that I can say I've been 100% content in, but that would be because I haven't gone looking. I usually let partners find me and see what comes of things.

I think that in theory the perfect relationship for me would be a monogamous Homo-romantic one that had a relaxed sexual undertone. I wouldn't need to have sex if I didn't want it, and that partner wouldn't be offended by it.

As much as I like polyamory I've found that a lot of Poly relationships wind up Unicorn hunting so I wind up feeling as if I'm there for only Sexual needs...which can really suck for anyone who isn't looking for a purely sexual relationship. Especially for someone who's on an Ace spectrum like me.

So in short:

Do I separate things: Yes.
Do I ignore them for a relationship to work: NO!
 
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Jackpot Raccuki

Fucking Racon
I am a professional faggot. Or just homosexual as some may call it.

I’m only interested in romantic relationships with well, other males. At the moment I’m already in a relationship with my cute mouse bf, and whiles I enjoy teasing peeps, it’s not an open relationship and most close to do doing other stuff with people is RP or well, not at all.
Of course I make sure people know anything rp related stays in rp, just how my furry stuff stays online.

Considering my boyfriend is asexual, whiles even though he’s not into it he still knows I feel a form of sexual attraction to him but that’s not the only reason I’m with him if I wanted pure sex I’d prob still be single. Plus he doesn’t mind that whole deal just not interested in it.

Plus if it were not for the ocean between us I’d of fucking cuddled him to death!
 

ssaannttoo

Joy Boi
Hmm. Let me ask this as well.

What do you put into the prospect of a relationship? What expectations do you have when you approach or are being approached if someone is asking? And if someone don't care for or don't want to be physical or romantic, how would you react to it?

I separate romance and physical aspects because I find them an important distinction.

"Love is love", as this vague concept goes, but is that enough? People generally have physical needs, wants and urges they need to have satisfied.
Well to me any romantic relationship comes with the physical aspect (Again this is my opinion and everybody is different) So I would like to be somebody who wouldn't mind getting in bed with me xD

What I want, or picture in an ideal partner, somebody who is truthful with me, who I am able to be vulnerable with, somebody who I can feel safe with and we have the memories together. There is a not more but I can't quite thing of that right now. Oh! They also need to be cute as fuq.
 

TyraWadman

The Brutally Honest Man-Child
Hmm. Let me ask this as well.

What do you put into the prospect of a relationship? What expectations do you have when you approach or are being approached if someone is asking? And if someone don't care for or don't want to be physical or romantic, how would you react to it?

I separate romance and physical aspects because I find them an important distinction.

"Love is love", as this vague concept goes, but is that enough? People generally have physical needs, wants and urges they need to have satisfied.

I am picky. I already know what I want and expect in a relationship. Our values have to line up (no kids, no smoking/alcohol etc) and obviously, if all was going well and someone asked me about dating, I'd probably agree if there weren't any major red flags. I'd also probably know if they were the intimate type or not before that anyway! X)

Being in a relationship without any kind of intimacy wouldn't work for me, as I tend to be affectionate and would like some reciprocation (hugs and kisses, cuddling, head scratchies). It feels nice and relaxing for me. If I didn't do these things, I would wonder what the point of dating is, since we'd essentially be platonic (best) friends.

...unless...
Unless this is something friends normally do? Anywho.

Clearly someone has sparked an idea in your brain. I say explore your curiosity. Don't be afraid to communicate. There are people out there that would be more than happy to help you explore, knowing you could change your mind about it later!

And even if things do go badly and they were lying pooheads, you've always got us losers to make you feel good about yourself again!

I kinda used up my lunch money though...
 

Jaredthefox92

Banned
Banned
I'm a heterosexual male, but I have standards when choosing women. Truth be told due to my autism I never was that much of a romantic person, do I have moments of wanting the other gender? Yes, but as far as expectations vs reality I'd rather just bide my time before I find the right women out there. I probably will just settle down in the future once I am more finically better off, being that I probably would want someone who understands me and cares for me more than the hottest chick out there.

It should be noted that I care more about the future of my children more than just getting in bed and having sex. I am not a very promiscious individual and I care more for the future rather than just the present.
 

ConorHyena

nazi hunter
I feel like I'm not particularely good at the entire romance thing. It's like, a relationship in the common way, the butterflies-in-belly feeling, y'know, I've never really had that. I'm much more utilitarian when it comes down to 'relationships' (e.g. do me and the person 'work' well together, does he respect my boundaries and issues and are his issues/mannerisms bearable for me, can we manage a household together etc). While I'm quite able to be 'romantic' as it is expected of me, I don't feel like this is an actual, deep-set feeling. I do it because it may make my partner happy, and that's that.

In the end it boils down to trust. I don't usually form very deep bonds easily and with my partner, I've actually managed to form some sort of trust over the years. And that's all that matters for me. Technically, this bond isn't exclusive, I have various friends I trust to various degrees, but I wouldn't call myself poly or similar, because it doesn't really include the 'love' tag.

I just go with the flow and do what I feel is right. I don't think I could be 'monogamous' in the sense of it, because I think that would necessitate a relationship depth that I cannot (anymore?) give to a single person.

Sexuality is detached from this, however I feel like there's nothing that requires more trust than good sex, so it's nice to affirm and/or deepen bonds (which makes me look like a total utlitarian, I know) That being said, it's ... complicated. :D
 

Rimna

Well-Known Monkey
Hmm. Let me ask this as well.

What do you put into the prospect of a relationship? What expectations do you have when you approach or are being approached if someone is asking? And if someone don't care for or don't want to be physical or romantic, how would you react to it?

I separate romance and physical aspects because I find them an important distinction.

"Love is love", as this vague concept goes, but is that enough? People generally have physical needs, wants and urges they need to have satisfied.

I want everything. All of it. Absolute devotion and trust. I am willing to give them, and I expect the same in return. Just emotional attraction isn't enough. I have friends that I love dearly, but I don't consider them my partners.
 

LameFox

Well-Known Member
I consider them separate but I don't usually bother to mention it. I'm probably something like hetero-romantic bisexual, but I'm also not comfortable enough with other people to pursue casual hook ups, so it kinda functionally amounts to being straight from an outside perspective.
 

Yakamaru

Spookdogg
I consider them separate but I don't usually bother to mention it. I'm probably something like hetero-romantic bisexual, but I'm also not comfortable enough with other people to pursue casual hook ups, so it kinda functionally amounts to being straight from an outside perspective.
Yeah, I'm not one for casual hookups either. If I am going to be with someone it will be with dedication, consideration and loyalty. It's one of the reasons the wolf is my Fursona and an animal I identify with to a decent extent: Unwavering loyalty and dedication.

For me it's rather similar the opposite in a way. Heterosexual biromantic, though heavily questioning the heterosexual part. Wondering if it's conditional or if it doesn't really matter for the most part.

~Edit~
Punji you little rascal.
image0-17.png
 
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DieselPowered

Well-Known Member
@Yakamaru Reading between the lines it seems that, while you're comfortable with the idea of being in love with another man, there's a block in place when it comes to the idea of actually having gay sex.

Whether you enjoy it or not is simply something you won't have an answer for until that bridge is crossed, but seeing as you're questioning things i imagine it's only a matter of time before you find out.

I'm going to be blunt, unless you have a fixation with vaginas you'll likely enjoy yourself on that front. It's just a question of finding someone you trust enough to explore those things with.

TL;DR - A bit of bravery and the right romantic partner is the only thing that can really clear up your confusion here.
 

Yakamaru

Spookdogg
@Yakamaru Reading between the lines it seems that, while you're comfortable with the idea of being in love with another man, there's a block in place when it comes to the idea of actually having gay sex.

Whether you enjoy it or not is simply something you won't have an answer for until that bridge is crossed, but seeing as you're questioning things i imagine it's only a matter of time before you find out.

I'm going to be blunt, unless you have a fixation with vaginas you'll likely enjoy yourself on that front. It's just a question of finding someone you trust enough to explore those things with.

TL;DR - A bit of bravery and the right romantic partner is the only thing that can really clear up your confusion here.
I am of the opinion that being blunt and honest is a million times better than beating around the bush being vague and indirect, possibly spending hours writing pointless paragraphs, so I appreciate the honesty.

And yes, there's a block, of sorts. Not sure if it's the actual gay stuff itself or if it's the intimate parts as I am not particularly one for intimacy of that kind nor as a general concept. The amount of people I actually trust on these issues I can count on one hand despite knowing hundreds of people, and those people generally literally live a whole world away.

I know I'd be perfectly happy in a romantic relationship. Though what about any potential partner? Is the romantic and emotional connection/bond enough for them? Is the reduced physical stuff something they find acceptable? I am not really a physical sort of person and real life shit often bore me.
 

Firuthi Dragovic

Gamer Dragon, former speedrunner
They've mostly been an afterthought for years, honestly. Now that these have been slipping further into my thoughts.... y'know what, let's piece it together and figure this out right now.

As far as romance, I don't know if the main reason I can't see myself with a long-term partner is really a case of not being able to feel romantic attraction properly, or merely because I know exactly how volatile I can get and "if you can't handle me at my worst" becomes a serious safety issue rather than a mere narcissist's punchline. (Probably the result of some form of autistic burnout I'm still suffering.) The only time I dated... it was back before the volatility, it was a bit set up for me, it was hetero, and there was no serious romantic stuff going on. Like, at all. Neither of us had that kind of interest, even after getting to know each other for a while.

Sexuality? It took this long for me to seriously consider the possibility that I'm gay because there's just not that much opportunity for it where I am. I've tried to imagine myself with a woman and... I've been around enough ladies and I realize I feel no attraction whatsoever to them. I don't even feel any attraction towards muscular women, which I seriously considered because of things I've already said about romance before.

Honestly, now that I think about it? Probably not in my best interest to separate romance and sexuality.

What might put a damper on a gay relationship with me, assuming I actually do feel romantic attraction properly, is I'm still way over-cautious as it stands right now. I'd have to have quite a bit in common with any potential partner - chief thing is that I simply do not have the energy to go out on too regular of a basis.

Any other questions, feel free to ask me.
 

DieselPowered

Well-Known Member
I am of the opinion that being blunt and honest is a million times better than beating around the bush being vague and indirect, possibly spending hours writing pointless paragraphs, so I appreciate the honesty.

And yes, there's a block, of sorts. Not sure if it's the actual gay stuff itself or if it's the intimate parts as I am not particularly one for intimacy of that kind nor as a general concept. The amount of people I actually trust on these issues I can count on one hand despite knowing hundreds of people, and those people generally literally live a whole world away.

I know I'd be perfectly happy in a romantic relationship. Though what about any potential partner? Is the romantic and emotional connection/bond enough for them? Is the reduced physical stuff something they find acceptable? I am not really a physical sort of person and real life shit often bore me.
Well if physical intimacy is something you tend to shy away from that's part of who you are, any partner is going to have to respect that otherwise it won't work.

Relationships are about mutual trust, understanding, and compromise. You have to work together or you go nowhere.

Those questions aren't for you or anyone else here to answer, only your potential partner can. If physical intimacy plays a bigger part in their life it could become a sticking point, but you're supposed to work these things out together. It seems you're basically saying "What if it doesn't work out?" Well, sometimes relationships don't, but if you don't take the risk you'll never find out.

I think the only question you can provide the answer for is "is it about intimacy in general or just gay stuff", but that'll take some more time, introspection, and maybe the guidance of this potential partner to figure out.
 

Ziggy Schlacht

Hasn't figured out this "straight" business
Reading a lot of these posts, people seem to think feeling awkward and nervous about being intimate is abnormal. It's not, it's quite normal. Literally everyone who acts like it's casual and comfortable is lying. With worrying about personal flaws, fearing you're not "good" in the sack, all of the ways biology can screw (heh) you over, and all of the ways society has made sex this major thing, it's a wonder anyone gets it. Everyone just pretends they're all good with it because that's what we *want* to be and all think we're supposed to be.

The "straight guy is too nervous to talk to girl so he just avoids them" is a super common trope. But we'd never call that something special. Feeling awkward and nervous about being intimate isn't any different.

Going back to my post earlier, the minute you start appending multiple terms with hedgers like "demi" I think you're overthinking things. You're comparing yourself to a hypothetical person that doesn't exist and thinking your abnormal when you match everyone else. You could just be buying the lie that most people project to comfort themselves.
 

Yakamaru

Spookdogg
Well if physical intimacy is something you tend to shy away from that's part of who you are, any partner is going to have to respect that otherwise it won't work.

Relationships are about mutual trust, understanding, and compromise. You have to work together or you go nowhere.

Those questions aren't for you or anyone else here to answer, only your potential partner can. If physical intimacy plays a bigger part in their life it could become a sticking point, but you're supposed to work these things out together. It seems you're basically saying "What if it doesn't work out?" Well, sometimes relationships don't, but if you don't take the risk you'll never find out.

I think the only question you can provide the answer for is "is it about intimacy in general or just gay stuff", but that'll take some more time, introspection, and maybe the guidance of this potential partner to figure out.
Talking to other Autistic people have helped quite a lot. Didn't even know that some form/level of aversion to physical contact was a normal trait up until yesterday which have helped put things into perspective. Which explains how I relate to family too, knowing this is a trait shared among a lot of similar individuals. I love my family but the physical contact itself as an idea still sit at the back of my head. Physical contact is something I end up getting comfortable with over time. Although I will very rarely offer hugs or physical contact, I very rarely have issues being asked or approached about it if I like the person enough. So if I ever offer it it's a form of compliment showing I am comfortable around you.

This had me wondering if it's the same about any form of intimacy as far as guys are concerned? I have no understanding of such a concept due to no real life experience with it, but I am interested to find out, hence why I am finding people whose company I can be comfortable with and.. trying things out. I don't really have that much in terms of needs and can easily take care of them on my own.

Guess I am kind of too focused on the physical aspects(of which to me at least isn't really that important to begin with), not wanting a potential partner feeling as if I don't care about their needs on this front.

Reading a lot of these posts, people seem to think feeling awkward and nervous about being intimate is abnormal. It's not, it's quite normal. Literally everyone who acts like it's casual and comfortable is lying. With worrying about personal flaws, fearing you're not "good" in the sack, all of the ways biology can screw (heh) you over, and all of the ways society has made sex this major thing, it's a wonder anyone gets it. Everyone just pretends they're all good with it because that's what we *want* to be and all think we're supposed to be.

The "straight guy is too nervous to talk to girl so he just avoids them" is a super common trope. But we'd never call that something special. Feeling awkward and nervous about being intimate isn't any different.

Going back to my post earlier, the minute you start appending multiple terms with hedgers like "demi" I think you're overthinking things. You're comparing yourself to a hypothetical person that doesn't exist and thinking your abnormal when you match everyone else. You could just be buying the lie that most people project to comfort themselves.
Well, that's.. kinda what I do even while at work. I think on things. All the factors, the different angles.. Taking as many things into consideration as possible. I am of the opinion that decisions ought to be as well thought out as possible before making it.

Though you may be right. Maybe I am overthinking things.
 

Stray Cat Terry

테리 / 特里 / テリー
I do it simple by default--if I feel romantic, I handle it with that in mind; If I don't, however, even if it's who I can possibly get romantic towards(which is every people possible though, in terms of gender), I don't engage and develop unnecessarily further than current state.

Well, I'm a Bi (or Pan, I still got to know myself better..), gender(and gender identities) of my romantic partner never matters, maybe that's why I can be simple...

The real deal for me is whether the romantic partner(aka. bf/gf) is romantic towards me too. It needs to be bidirectional. Otherwise, as my past experiences tells me, it'll not end so well...

Oh, also, I must make sure the romantic partner is cool about the fact it can be 'homosexual' in case the partner and I both have same physical gender. This way, my partner won't need to fake it on me and furthermore be decieving oneself, if they're not cool with that.
If that's good to go too, then that's the best romantic relationship I and they can get, I suppose! UwU

Now I have a bf, who definitely is romantic towards me wholeheartedly. Now this is what I can call a rather stable foundation. OwO
Well, in case he's just faking(like some of my ex), I'd as well choose to be toyed as my sign of approval on his acting skills cuz he seems superior than others in such way XD

TL;DR of my current bf:
His expressions and actions are faith worthy-ly seamless to doubt about. I may even say he's reached the point to be told being stupidly blind on romance with me >w< . So I'd rather choose to trust him UwU♡
 
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Tennet_G

Cup O' Depresso
I always find my sexuality and romantic attractions at odd sometimes. Through experiences though, I have slowly figured out what works for me and what doesn't. Of course, online experience isn't quite the same as human contact but I still take lessons from them.

Sexuality: Bisexual?
Sexuality for me is essentially looking at someone and asking myself a simple question. Can I see myself getting aroused by what I'm looking at and can I see myself sleeping with said thing I'm aroused by? Congrats, it's a sexuality!~ Of course, I find myself being rather... picky with the kinds of humans I find visibly attractive. Fursonas? Almost anything passes but I struggle more with regular old humans. I am pickier with those and find I need more than just looks to satisfy arousal. And most of the time, that comes from personal connection. I know demisexual is an alignments so I probably have sprinkles of that considering that I can find anyone who can develop a relationship with me physically attractive.

Romantic: Heteroromantic?
I'm going to be honest, I very much struggle to connect romantically with males in my experience. It's happened once, but I find it much easier to fall for girls, even when I don't intend to. Sweet words, kind gestures (or rough) and a clear appreciation of my time and effort will send it over very easily. Guys have gone above and beyond but I still couldn't feel being attracted to kissing and holding hands with a guy. It doesn't click even though admittedly, it would be much easier to date a guy since.. well, I am a guy. It's very easy to find common ground and just be bros. And maybe that's the issue I have with guys. They act too much like dudes and bros and are just very forthcoming most often? I've noticed this with a few trans that I've talked to, and tomboys. But if it was the case that feminine traits is something I find romantically attractive then it wouldn't make sense that I don't find femboys romantically attractive. But I feel no romantic tug towards them. And yet, I feel a romantic tug towards dominant females, as much as sexual, despite not finding tomboys particularly interesting romantically. Perhaps it's a little deeper than that but I just work off of gut feelings and it's hard to pry deeper than this.

And how do I handle these? Easy. I am just very picky about who I try to go on dates with. I want to be able to have both sexuality and romantic feelings fulfilled since I don't really plan on going an open or poly route (yet). I just love the idea of settling down with someone and being each other's everything. But there are some things I need to do first before I think about dating again, like moving on from my last relationship (whole other can of worms). But for now, I suppose it wouldn't hurt too much to indulge in my sexuality as long as I'm smart and stay safe about it.
 

O.D.D.

Back from the dead apparently
Bisexual (notable preference for masculine or masculine-presenting), whatever-romantic.

The fandom's general state of overtuned sexuality has dampened my appreciation for that kind of thing a bit. In all seriousness I don't think I'd ever look for a relationship within the fandom again, if I was going to bother with that kind of thing.
 

KimberVaile

Officially elected and actual ruler of FAF
I know I'm about to drop a bombshell here, but I am gay, and prefer men both sexually and romantically. I know, who would have saw that coming? I'd like to say I am fully gay romantically as well, but I guess I don't know for sure. Could I romantically engage with the opposite sex? I don't know, maybe if they we connected in terms of interests, and if they appreciated me as I am. I really don't see it as super likely, but I've not ruled it out of being possible. I do feel like personality is a hugely important aspect for me and I'm sure if the right personality came up, it wouldn't be out of the question. So I guess in a sense romantically and sexually, there could be a difference. I suppose I've never really thought about that, to be fair.

Sexually speaking, I don't think there is much surprise there, very strong preference for strong masculine men.
I also find myself feeling more at ease with other gays, I feel like they know how it feels to feel like an outcast to an extent, so we almost seem to have some partial immediate understand of each other in a way. Though, I admit the way I'm describing it is a bit quixotic. There's some understanding there to say the least. Interesting thread though. Did give me an opportunity to consider things I've not given thought to before.

There is probably truth to the these things being more like gradients than binaries.
 
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Hi-FiWolf95

Metal Misanthrope
For me, sexual identity really doesn't matter, in fact, I don't even question it that often, or at least care that much, because I don't think it's really that important in my life, as I feel others things are a lot more important that I need to be concerned with as a person, and for my well-being, and duties as a human being. That being said, I generally like women, romantically and sexually, always have, that it feels so right, but there are many instances that have been quite obvious where I fall under the traditional umbrella of bisexuality, but, that is so broken up into pieces, that the easy way I can explain this, is that, it has in some instances felt artificial, or out of desperation, and doesn't fully involve all of the aspects or full connection that I feel with the attraction I have for women, even on a spiritually felt level, or "trueness", and is often very specific and circumstantial, that it feels more like a kink than "true love" most of the time, because it often has to involve unnatural portrayal or characteristics, such as anthropomorphism (no surprise there), or when I am at a desperate time/urge, and feel as though I need to be extremely specific to get some sort of attraction, and then it could "almost" seem like what'd you'd call "full bisexuality", or close to it, but not really, idk. However, that thing where it feels broken into pieces, is almost like a limitation, as it feels like a lack of proper connection in all the aspects of attraction and relationship I feel with women, and even then, that still doesn't feel complete to the level I have with women, so I generally don't talk about it or feel the need to discuss it, because at the end of the day, it is what it is.
 
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