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Romance and sexuality: How do you handle them?

Sven Solitude

Well-Known Member
I guess it's a bit more tricky for me as well. And it took me a long time to figure things out. :3
Love is definitely the thing that connects all the feelings for me. Being demisexual, when I look at "sexy" images of any kind, I don't feel anything at all. Back then, I didn't understand how most humans usually feel and I thought it's normal to fall in love once and to have the partner for the rest of the life. And that the love will remain even after death, eternally. Unfortunately, things are way more complicated than that and it's almost 100% certain things will end painfully with a human partner. I was hurt a lot and it broke my former self to a point, that I'm completely unable to feel anything, romantically, towards humans. Could be the nicest person in the world and I still wouldn't feel romantic love for them. That doesn't mean I hate anyone, I can't really hate, I care about almost anyone and I'm definitely interested in friendships with other positive people. :3 But when it comes to the feelings of love, I only connect feelings of incredible pain when seeing a human. Pain, betrayal, unfaithulness, lies. Who wants to get hurt, right? No one, it's not pleasant.
When it comes to sexuality, the tricky thing is nature itself. Even me despite feeling nothing sexually when looking at anything, there is still the urge or desire by nature. And it's a pain in the butt (not literally :'D) when the urge becomes stronger and how to get rid of it. When there is no true love, there is no point in it, so it's more like a heavy burden by nature. But the burden can become one of the most wonderful things when actually loving.
After my experiences in the past, I'm a strong believer that true romantic love does not exist in reality. (But I'm super happy for anyone who found it!) So there is no point, for me personally, to look for things in reality that doesn't even exist. I honestly can totally understand people who found their true love somewhere else. Maybe a japanese dude who marries his game console or things like that. To find the answer that makes one truly happy, it must be the best feeling in the world!
Though, there are a lot of different kinds of love in the world in general. I consider even the sound of music as love. Or the connection I have towards nature. Or things like a blanket, that helps me to feel warm and cozy in the winter. ^-^ From my perspective, the whole world is full of love. All the small things. And the small moments of kindness between all living creatures.


seeker of knowledge
And so I got curious. How do you handle it? Do you separate romantic stuff from your sexuality? Do you keep them intertwined?

I cover myself head to toe in Vaseline, and then I slither around on my kitchen floor, pretending to be a slug.