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Room/dorm mate horror stories

Matt Conner

New Member
Sometimes we wind up living with somebody who we don't know, and they wind up being pretty ok. This thread is not for those times. Foe those of you with crazy, nasty, rude, or just plain unhygienic roomies, now is the time to share your stories. Obviously you shouldn't be calling anybody out here, so please refrain from using any names. I'll get things rolling with two very brief stories.

I was assigned a room mate for my dorm when I moved into Wilson Hall freshman year, because my two buddies who were also moving in there already paired up with one another. The roomie in question turned out to be a pretty swell guy. He's nice, hangs around a lot (making it easy for me to get back in if I forget my keys) and keeps his paws off my stuff, but holy fucking jumping shitballs does he stink. It wasn't noticeable at first, but as the days rolled by he never seemed to be in the shower when I was around. His shampoo and body wash have stayed roughly the same weight based on the last couple times I borrowed them, and pretty soon our room was permanently shrouded in the dense miasma that is his sweaty man stink. Daily febreeze bombings do nothing to dampen the odor, which breaks through the spray within minutes. His bed is even worse, to the point that none of my friends dare even sit on it whenever they have the stomach to hang out in my room, which is quite rarely since I can barely stand to do anything but sleep in there myself. Sometimes I actually physically gag when I step into my own room. If it starts again after break, I'm sitting him down for a serious dude intervention.

A couple months ago I was hanging out in a friend's room on the same floor as my dorm, on a late Saturday night after returning early from a party. I went to the one men's room on my floor to take a leak, which has 3 stalls and 3 showers for at least 30 guys. When I was in there I noticed that there were two dudes showering, one in the handicapped stall and the other in the one beside it. They must have been smashed too because the conversation they were having amidst the constant stream of giggling could only be described as gibberish. Alright...nothing too weird on a college campus Saturday night. I didn't think twice of it and went back to the room to vape and play FIFA with my buddies. A good hour later I returned to the bathroom once more to brush my teeth and hit the hay. It was deserted, but as I approached the sinks I became aware of a foul odor coming from behind me. Curious, I turned around and peeked under the shower stall to find that the entire fucking floor was coated in copious amounts of human shit. Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I swung the shower door open, and oh god, I will never unsee it. More feces than could possibly be created by one person spattered across every surface in the entire handicapped shower. I mean -every- surface; walls, ceiling, curtain, floor, all of it. The only feasible explanation was that the two drunken goons had literally gone apeshit and pooped in their own hands, then proceeded to toss it around like rabid, coked up chimpanzees. It took them four days to bring in an outside guy to sanitize the showers head to toe with a giant yellow cleaning machine thing, and until then the entire bathroom on my floor was out of commission. Fucking assholes.
 

Shetana

Member
I think I've been though about 15 roommates for the various times I've lived in dorms. Most of them have been pretty interesting girls, sure some of them were rude, or messy but I really didn't live with them long enough for it to be a big deal. I do have a weird one I can share though.
I had a roommate that if she was in the room, she was naked. The fridge was on her side of the room, so it made it awkward to keep food in it. Not that nudity bothers me (with plenty of use of communal showers, you stop caring about that), it was the fact that she'd freak if I saw her naked. I couldn't let my friends in if they stopped by because she wouldn't want to put clothes on or let them in there with her naked. The dorm supervisor walked in on her once, after that they stopped checking our dorm room, so that was a plus.
 

Matt Conner

New Member
She was always naked in the room...but freaked if you saw her naked? That just seems purposely inconvenient to you. I woulda told her that if she wanted to waltz around naked it's her problem if she gets seen :p
 

Shetana

Member
She was always naked in the room...but freaked if you saw her naked? That just seems purposely inconvenient to you. I woulda told her that if she wanted to waltz around naked it's her problem if she gets seen :p
Lol, yah, I didn't have to deal with her too much, since our schedules were completely opposite, so I guess she just didn't expect me home as much as I was.
 

TobyDingo

Pasties, Cider, Surfing.
I have 3 flat mates right now. 1 of them is a mate of mine and is a quiet, tidy bloke. His missus on the other hand is a paranoid schizophrenic let alone when she gets some alcohol in her system. We've been living together for about a month so far and since then i have woken up 4 times to the sound of her screaming that she's breaking up with him because apparently he has cheated on her. Today was the worst case of it. She was storming around the apartment slamming doors, throwing things on the floor in rage. The night before, she came home at 5 am and threw up all over the place.
The other girl i live with is a little more bearable. Both these girls like to use the bathroom with the door left wide open. The kitchen sink has become a bio hazard. I don't cook or eat in our apartment so i leave no mess in the kitchen, but these girls... I have no idea how they can produce such a mess cooking something like instant noodles!
There has been a plate on the stove for about a week and a half with something that resembles furry chunks of steak on it. It may even be a kiwi, who knows.
 

BouncyOtter

Member
In my freshman year, my roommate was awful. I was walking onto the swim team, so the coach had me paired with another swimmer (think he was on the team for about 3 weeks). I never did anything about his actions, even though everyone on my floor knew he was a jerk. He was also a very big guy, so I was actually pretty intimidated by him.

He chewed tobacco and left water bottles that he used as spit cups all over the room, including on my desk. It was absolutely vile. He'd eat some of my food at times. I hated when I was missing my brown cinnamon sugar poptarts (I needed those calories to get through some practices). Several times, when I was at swim meets, he would decide to save money on laundry by letting his clothes dry on my bed. I'd come back to the room to find soaking wet clothes on my bed and one time dripping dangerously close to my computer. He used to bring home girls a lot, so I'd naturally go sleep out in the common room, which I was actually okay with most of the time if he told me. However, there was one time that I fell asleep (our beds were lofted) with a giant calc book on my chest, and I woke up to him having sex across the room, and him accusing her of faking it. When they started getting up, I just rolled over and fell back asleep. In retrospect I would have loved to have done something about it.

I never could use our kitchen. I tried cleaning it a few times but gave up on it. God knows what was growing in that space by the end of the year. Apparently he tried to pin the blame on me at the end of the year (I moved out a few days before him) for the disaster, but my RA later told me that she didn't buy it for a second. In a weird way, I should probably thank him. I spent almost all of my time in the floor common room, where I met most of my good friends, including my best friend, and we are super close to this day.
 

Konotashi

Member
I was always kinda the third party, since it was always my mom's roommates, but I'll give it a go.

A friend of a friend of my mom's. She hit some hard times and she and her daughter moved in with us. Every morning at about 6:30, I'd be woken up by her screaming bloody murder at her daughter, and her daughter screaming back because she didn't want to get out of bed for school. My mom was out of the house by 5:30 am, so she thought I was exaggerating when I told her about it. The fact their screaming woke me up should have been a clear indicator I wasn't exaggerating, considering I sleep sounder than a dead person. I can sleep through fire alarms, no problem. (Which worries my mom a lot)
Also had to come home to the daughter crying while her mom begged her to do her homework. But every time - every single time - she'd wind up doing her daughter's homework.
I had to keep my door locked whenever I left because her spawn would go into my room and take my shit. She took a little pink jewelry box with tulips painted on it that my grandpa made for me when I was little and wrote her name all over it in black sharpie. She also put stickers and wrote all over a shelf of mine. (And she was about 10 years old, so she was fucking old enough to know better). I about set the little shit on fire when she broke into my room through my window (I never locked it) and crawled through it, hitting a dresser and knocking my Lego Yoda that took me FOREVER to build and shattered it to smithereens.

The second one was worse.
Again, another friend of a friend of my mom's just got out of jail and was (supposedly) trying to get her shit together.
She was a drunk and a drug addict. (Meth and coke, among other things). This was in a new house, and if you manipulated the knob a certain way, it was easy to get in my room, even if it was locked.
One of my sugar gliders passed away, and someone made me a little box to put his ashes in. Had his picture and a quote on the top of it. I used this little box for money, since his ashes were in a box my grandpa made for me for him.
I had a $50 bill in the one box, and I went to get it one day and it was gone. I told my mom about it and she said that her roommate took her out to the bar and paid using a $50 bill. She confronted her roommate about it and the roommate called me a lying sack of shit, so my mom beat the shit out of her. After she was a bleeding lump of black and blue, my mom called a cab for her and she put her stuff out on the front porch for her to take the next day.
With that whole situation, it didn't bother me so much that she took my $50. What upset me more than anything was that she took it from an urn someone made me for my sugar glider. Even though his ashes weren't in there, the sentiment behind it pissed me off.
 
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Tica

Lady Sloth
Had a roommate who left her stuff all over the place, bras hanging off the couch, school papers scattered all over the floor, kitchen dishes caked in food and never washed. It was a two-bedroom place with a living area and she took over the entire living area as if it were her room (which smelled of animal piss 'cause she kept her uncaged rabbit in there). One time I got tired of her shit being everywhere when I had guests over so I picked up everything that was hers in the living area, sorted it into piles and put it into her room. She later screamed at me for "touching her stuff".

I cleaned the kitchen every day in this apt. I was depressed at the time, so I barely went out, barely slept, and I cleaned the kitchen daily to do at least one constructive thing a day. I cleaned her gross-ass dishes and food messes without complaint. She never cleaned the kitchen herself, at least not that I ever saw. Later on when she kicked me out she said I left gross food everywhere which fed the cockroaches (when... I cleaned daily and *she* left out the crusty dishes??)

yep. she kicked me out because I was depressed and cutting myself at the time so it was somehow my fault that she got bad grades that semester (??) even tho' 1) I never talked to her about my depression, 2) I never directly told her I was cutting (she found out from mutual friends), 3) I spent more time away from the apartment or shut up silent in my room from depression than anything else.
I did my best to stay out of her way, in fact. she was just searching for some kind of way to blame me for her failures.
my name was on the lease too but she promised to pay my half if I would just gtfo. she'd never lived with a roomie before and was an only child so I imagine no matter who I was she'd've cracked like that. I promptly moved to another state to seek help with my depression, and the one good thing I can say about her was that she (well, her dad) did pay my half for the duration of the lease and I never heard from her again.
 

Antronach

Bringin' sexy back~
My first roommate really didn't help with chores that much, which made inspections all that more difficult, but he wasn't too bad. The next one was a huge jerk that kept filing complaints on me about how the room smells (I took 10 showers a week and laundry every day to shut him up, but to no avail :[ ), despite him being rather incompetent when it came to cleaning. At my first command, my second roommate once brought over a girl when I was asleep and started having sex. Granted, there was a bereau in the middle of the room, so I didn't see any of it, but holy crap they were loud. Like 'my music can't drown them out' loud. And they fucked later on that evening again. He's a good guy though, but damn that sucked. :x
 

Alexxx-Returns

The Sergal that Didn't Vore
Reading some of these made me cringe (and I thought I could win this thread with mine...) Right then, here goes.

Last year, I lived with a very friendly group of people (there were 5 of us in total). Some of us were more reserved than others, and by the end of the year, 4 of us pretty much lived in the communal room like a small family. They were awesome when we were hanging out like that.
But... about... a month, maybe, after I moved in, I started to hear someone singing, during the day/evening. It took a huge leap of the imagination to come to that conclusion though, because it sounded more like someone was being tortured/got their balls caught in the bed frame. It was AWFUL. I would go on to try and describe it, but I just can't. It's the kind of totally unique voice that you NEVER want to hear.
Even a couple of months in, I didn't do anything about it, because that would have been hypocritical of me, because I sung and played guitar/wrote music in my room too (although none of my flatmates ever heard a thing from me for some reason - I can only assume some rooms blocked sound better than others). EVERYONE in our flat could hear the guy singing - but they LIKED it! The other guy said it had a 'lovely warbling' to it or something.
Honestly, I only found out for sure who was doing it about halfway through the year, because I didn't want to know - if I knew, I would've instantly hated him, and I didn't want that feeling if I was trying to get to know these people.
Earplugs became my very best friend later on that year. His messed up body clock meant that he got up very late in the day, and was active during the night. SOME NIGHTS, HE WAS SINGING AT THREE IN THE MORNING. Sometimes four. And it was loud as hell - I mean, he wasn't making ANY effort to keep his voice down for, you know... the people who slept at that time of the day. And sporadic as hell. He'd sing half a line of a song and stop.
Needless to say, I've been having nightmares about this ever since. I wish, more than anything, that I'd done something about it.

This year, both of us can be described as a horror-flatmate, I guess.
One of the guys I'm living with now is fun to hang around with, as long as I don't get too offended by some things, such as his attitude towards women. He doesn't mess up the kitchen or anything. But about a month after we all moved in, I could smell weed in the hallway. I knew it was him right away because he said he loved weed.
Since I could only smell it in the hallway, I decided to put my own opinions aside and not do anything about it. But I started smelling it in my own room - and REALLY badly. It was UNBEARABLE, and I honestly hate him for it. I couldn't concentrate on my work because I was so angry about this.
I eventually decided that enough was enough, and taddled to reception. They said they would look into it because it was a FIRE HAZARD (he is closest to the ONLY fire escape, and he clearly covered up the fire alarm in his own room to be able to smoke). Anyway, they caught him red-handed. I laughed when he told them it was cigarettes, but at least I wouldn't have to smell the weed again. Right?
Apparently, when reception caught him in the act, the message he took away wasn't "don't smoke weed in your room", instead it was "don't smoke weed in your room during office hours when you could be caught".
He started doing it at 1-2 in the morning (when I'm at my most productive studying). I was livid. So I called the university patrol and taddled again, the VERY next time I could smell it. They were down in half an hour and caught him too.

I haven't smelled anything since then, and I don't know what's happened to the guy. Reception told me that he could get kicked out if he kept doing it, so I do wonder. But like I said, I could be considered a horror flatmate for taddling.
 

kairi920

You Only Live Online
I'm living with a roommate right now, we've been living together for over a year now and he's really not that bad of a guy or anything, I mean he's a bit stupid, and he's kind of a jerk at times, and he can't get off of his damn phone/iPod/laptop/Xbox/whatever, but... Ok he's pretty damn annoying. The worst thing however is the fact that he's pretty disgusting, he can't keep the room clean for more than a few days so I've nearly given up on it, he showers and all but of course he works at Burger King, so he has this permanent smell of onions and grease, but one of the things that bothers me the most is that he just clips his nails right in the middle of our room, it's disgusting and he knows I hate it, but no matter how many times I ask him to take it to the bathroom he continues to do it here, I don't know why but that just bothers me the most.
 

Xela-Dasi

PiratePiratePiratePirateP irate

Matt Conner

New Member
One of the guys I'm living with now is fun to hang around with, as long as I don't get too offended by some things, such as his attitude towards women. He doesn't mess up the kitchen or anything. But about a month after we all moved in, I could smell weed in the hallway. I knew it was him right away because he said he loved weed.
Since I could only smell it in the hallway, I decided to put my own opinions aside and not do anything about it. But I started smelling it in my own room - and REALLY badly. It was UNBEARABLE, and I honestly hate him for it. I couldn't concentrate on my work because I was so angry about this.
I eventually decided that enough was enough, and taddled to reception.

As inconsiderate as he was, that's kind of a dick move too. You couldn't uh, y'know...talk to him first, like a civilized human being? You can't solve all your problems by narcing on people you don't like, and it certainly won't earn you very many friends.
 

Alexxx-Returns

The Sergal that Didn't Vore
As inconsiderate as he was, that's kind of a dick move too. You couldn't uh, y'know...talk to him first, like a civilized human being? You can't solve all your problems by narcing on people you don't like, and it certainly won't earn you very many friends.

I know, it was a dick move. But I was so pissed off by then. I waited a month before complaining because I wanted to talk to him about it. I never really saw him though, he was getting high all the time. Like, all, the time. I didn't really know if I would be able to communicate with him in that condition so I wanted to wait till he was sober.
 

Percy

o-o
I may possibly go next semester without a roommate, as mine moved out. He wasn't a bad roommate by any means (nor me one, hopefully), just moved away to his fraternity.

Living in a room alone's better than living with a shitty roommate I suppose.
 

Matt Conner

New Member
I know, it was a dick move. But I was so pissed off by then. I waited a month before complaining because I wanted to talk to him about it. I never really saw him though, he was getting high all the time. Like, all, the time. I didn't really know if I would be able to communicate with him in that condition so I wanted to wait till he was sober.

I'm not saying that you're the bad guy here, but I know that if I was in his position, you would have just had to tell me that the weed smell was bothering you, and I would have either quit doing it in the dorms or shelled out ten bucks for a smoke buddy. It ain't that hard x3
 

Kabetchett

New Member
This isn't me, but it's a friend of mine who had a roommate in the college dorms last semester... but it does involve me. x.=.x
I'm not going to say names either. :p

I was in (what was a supposed) beginning freehand drawing class, and I made friends with a furry (I'll dub him Taile) and a friend who was into Homestuck (I love the comic, but I'll call her Glass). Glass got Taile and I together by keeping me hostage, but her roommate (let's call her Bunny) was quiet and really didn't socialize.

One day, the roles between Glass and Bunny changed after Taile and I started dating... but thing is, Glass decided to get drunk every night (and at dorms, that's a no no), she broke up with her long time long distance relationship bf after she slept with a different guy (I'll call him Guy) and was no longer socializing. So, for the rest of the semester, Glass kept ditching a good amount of her classes, kicking Bunny out of her dorm just to do dirty things with Guy, even when Bunny needed to study on the homework that was inside that dorm.

After a month, Bunny was going to tell the dorm keepers about her, but before that, Glass wanted to change roommates with another friend of Bunny, Taile, Glass and I (I shall call her Sol). Sol even started to get frustrated after Glass moved in because around this time, finals were kicking in and Glass and Guy would prevent Sol from doing her essays, which Glass wouldn't do her essays.

Thing is, when Taile and I wanted to visit Bunny or Sol, we couldn't because of Glass and Guy.
Instead we had to hang out in the loud, overcrowded cafeteria... and it really is a pain being there anyway, cause there's no privacy to draw. :|
 

Matt Conner

New Member
This isn't me, but it's a friend of mine who had a roommate in the college dorms last semester... but it does involve me. x.=.x
I'm not going to say names either. :p

I was in (what was a supposed) beginning freehand drawing class, and I made friends with a furry (I'll dub him Taile) and a friend who was into Homestuck (I love the comic, but I'll call her Glass). Glass got Taile and I together by keeping me hostage, but her roommate (let's call her Bunny) was quiet and really didn't socialize.

One day, the roles between Glass and Bunny changed after Taile and I started dating... but thing is, Glass decided to get drunk every night (and at dorms, that's a no no), she broke up with her long time long distance relationship bf after she slept with a different guy (I'll call him Guy) and was no longer socializing. So, for the rest of the semester, Glass kept ditching a good amount of her classes, kicking Bunny out of her dorm just to do dirty things with Guy, even when Bunny needed to study on the homework that was inside that dorm.

After a month, Bunny was going to tell the dorm keepers about her, but before that, Glass wanted to change roommates with another friend of Bunny, Taile, Glass and I (I shall call her Sol). Sol even started to get frustrated after Glass moved in because around this time, finals were kicking in and Glass and Guy would prevent Sol from doing her essays, which Glass wouldn't do her essays.

Thing is, when Taile and I wanted to visit Bunny or Sol, we couldn't because of Glass and Guy.
Instead we had to hang out in the loud, overcrowded cafeteria... and it really is a pain being there anyway, cause there's no privacy to draw. :|
I feel like I'm reading a synopsis to an season of Friends
 

sff2

New Member
I had once a bad room mate. He never bathed and always smelled like the garbage can. He would stack his boxes from packages badly in the way of things. He would leave food out to get moldy. He likes to sing very loud and badly and refused to cease doing this.
 

Nashida

She do a blep
I got lucky. All four years I was in college I never got a roommate. My freshman year I was placed in an upper classman, all girls studio dorm. I had my own room.

However, it was an all girls' dorm. So it was like living in the girls' wing in a co-ed dorm, but on a higher scale.

There was one girl on our floor who almost always forgot when her red tide was coming, and decided it was housekeeping's job to clean up after her. Ick ick ick. I mean, how do you not know when to keep track of this stuff?

Then there was a girl the floor above me who had her boyfriend over every Thursday night. Like clockwork, at 11 pm, that bed was squeaking and bouncing. It stopped after a month though, either they broke up or the noise was enough to bother somebody else.

We had horribly sensitive smoke detectors, and the fire alarm would go off often. Nine times out of ten it was because somebody scorched their hair while curling it or straightening it. One girl had nuked popcorn for five minutes because she claimed it was outdated and "maybe it would take longer to pop". The hall smelled like burnt butter for a week.
 

powderhound

Active Member
I have to say that with the exception of one, I've had amazing roommates all my life. Six of us shared a freshman dorm room like immigrants stacked in a cargo container. Jocks boink without regard for their nerdy roommates who intern pretend to be sleeping. Law of the universe or something. We all stayed together like a family up until grad school. It was one of the best parts of undergrad really.

But then I had a lag before grad school so I subleted a room for a month. God that was wired. There was a late 30's obese neck beard living in one of the rooms with 2 cats. I only caught glimpses of him a few times like Sasquatch racing through the woods. He never came out. And there was this horrible smell emanating from around the door. Then one day there was a sign on the refrigerator saying his cat had died and he would be keeping it in the freezer. A med student owned the house and slept in the garage to try and rent max rooms. I asked why in the world he had that guy there. The answer? "He pays his rent on time." There were also two other guys there that went to the state school in another city but lived there so they could pose as university students and poach the girls there, which they did with reckless abandon while the med student experienced the law of the universe on a nightly basis.

Living in a room alone's better than living with a shitty roommate I suppose.


After freshman year you need to have your own room. But without housemates or dormmates college can get really isolating. If you have an intense major it's hard to get out and socialize so I think it's important to have people at home to commiserate with. Don't go solo. You'll end up a furry, or worse.
 
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Monocled Unicorn

The Gentlemanly Unicorn
Back in my Sophomore year of college, I was staying in a dorm that was specifically for Sophomores. One of three roommates I had for a brief time was a Chinese foreign exchange student--I believe his 'English name' was Alex, although I'm not 100% certain on that.

Anyway, Alex was a bit overweight, and he loved to eat. Indiscriminately. (He is the reason I no longer keep my food in a place where others can get to it.) But for some reason, he would flush whatever he did not eat down the toilet. Sometimes it was just a little bit, sometimes it was half of his meal, but he always flushed some of his food after eating. It got bad pretty quickly, and our bathroom would always smell like rotten food even after I would go behind him to scrub the food bits away, sanitize, Febreeze bomb, etc.

Not only this, but he also, for whatever reason, decided to sleep and walk around naked. Always. I think he spent at least 80% of his time naked.

Normally you would tell him to stop, obviously, but his English was extremely broken and I could never seem to communicate with him.

Sidestory: One day he asked me to help him define Biology definitions (they had to be done in English), so I agreed. It actually went fairly well, until I got to the end of the list, and the last word was 'penis.' I just walked off at that point--I wanted to shout "That tiny thing that you let dangle 24/7" but I refrained from it.

Eventually his jet-lag made him decide to leave (He would go to bed at 2:00 PM, whereas in college I would go to bed at 4:00 AM). I felt kind of bad for him, but I was glad to see him gone. The roommate that had come before him never showed and the one that came after him was never at the dorm and apparently flunked out rather quickly.
 

Daexmos

WhatTheFox
The only thing I have to say is...

Semen filled Gatorade bottle...

-vomit- that's all for this story...
 

Volkodav

Dad****er
Do you really want to get me started on my brother.
Do you really want to get me started on my brother.

I will end this thread right here right now

Here's a taste test: One time he left his dirty laundry in the hall in a pile for so long that a mouse crawled into it, died, and he found it months later, rotten.

The only thing I have to say is...

Semen filled Gatorade bottle...

-vomit- that's all for this story...
That is kind of hot
 
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