Should I go to AA?
- Thread starter ~Jester
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Chuchi
Where'd the time go?
If you feel like you need the help, that you have a legitimate problem refusing the bottle, then seek it. There is no shame in that.
Alcohol and I have an interesting history. Nowadays, I only drink rarely, and casually, to have fun. But in the past, I drank to numb myself. But those days are gone.
If you find that you getting fed up with it, then it's time to stop. You should only partake on your own terms, not because you feel you need to and you should always be the one in control. If you have a problem, your body is telling you you need it, and it takes the control away from you. Time to nip that. It's better to seek help than to just let this continue and become a worse problem. It really is a downward spiral.
Alcohol and I have an interesting history. Nowadays, I only drink rarely, and casually, to have fun. But in the past, I drank to numb myself. But those days are gone.
If you find that you getting fed up with it, then it's time to stop. You should only partake on your own terms, not because you feel you need to and you should always be the one in control. If you have a problem, your body is telling you you need it, and it takes the control away from you. Time to nip that. It's better to seek help than to just let this continue and become a worse problem. It really is a downward spiral.
RedSavage1
DefunctDupAccount
If you have to ask yourself--give it a shot. However, some AA groups can come off as cult-ey kinda. Be careful.
In fact I'd suggest NA--Narcotics Anonymous. I go to one at least once a week, usually more. They're much more open, accepting, and do include alcohol in their definition if 'drugs'. They're alsoore laid back an friendly.
Do -not- let the religious undertones dissuade you. You can see past those and many members do an are in fact non-religious or alternately spiritual. Hit me up if you have any questions. I have quite a bit of experience in this, much to my dismay, haha. But NA really kinda grounds me and reminds me tht no matter how much I think I can go back and enjoy the habits I once used to, that I'll be right back in a worse spot.
No matter how bad things get, drugs an alcohol dont make it better. They make you feel good--right up until you run out. It just doesn't work any other way. The morning after always comes.
Again--I'll outright suggest NA over AA. Less 'christy' and a bit more open and welcoming to any and all types. And technically, alcohol -is- a drug. So it's all the same in my book. Just a more casual for for NA versus AA, but just as supportive in sobriety.
In fact I'd suggest NA--Narcotics Anonymous. I go to one at least once a week, usually more. They're much more open, accepting, and do include alcohol in their definition if 'drugs'. They're alsoore laid back an friendly.
Do -not- let the religious undertones dissuade you. You can see past those and many members do an are in fact non-religious or alternately spiritual. Hit me up if you have any questions. I have quite a bit of experience in this, much to my dismay, haha. But NA really kinda grounds me and reminds me tht no matter how much I think I can go back and enjoy the habits I once used to, that I'll be right back in a worse spot.
No matter how bad things get, drugs an alcohol dont make it better. They make you feel good--right up until you run out. It just doesn't work any other way. The morning after always comes.
Again--I'll outright suggest NA over AA. Less 'christy' and a bit more open and welcoming to any and all types. And technically, alcohol -is- a drug. So it's all the same in my book. Just a more casual for for NA versus AA, but just as supportive in sobriety.
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Sarcastic Coffeecup
Hand. Cannot. Erase.
If you think you might have a problem, you should try AA.
monochromatic-dragon
Sorry Mom
AA seems super nutty. "Alcohol is a disease and only Jesus can save you." Really?
Someone very close to me is trying to fight alcoholism on his own. Its hard for him, but I would say that he is doing very with it.
If you feel like your drinking is completely out of your control, then yeah. I'd say find a help group like people have suggested. Your friends and/or family are also there to support you!
Someone very close to me is trying to fight alcoholism on his own. Its hard for him, but I would say that he is doing very with it.
If you feel like your drinking is completely out of your control, then yeah. I'd say find a help group like people have suggested. Your friends and/or family are also there to support you!
Sarcastic Coffeecup
Hand. Cannot. Erase.
I can't wait to become an alcoholic and ask the same question OP is asking today
You could just stop drinking
Captain Howdy
Member
It'd be better to seek out a non-religious group - One that has no ulterior motive. If there's no alternatives in your area, then I guess AA is better than nothing, but it's definitely worth searching out a Humanist or otherwise secular group first.
Hinalle's very simple and probably very little thought out comment is like the best and worst response.
Me, I can't really relate to the specific problem itself, but I do have an interesting method of self-control in denying what my subconscious and body wants.
My suggestion: Treat your desire to drink more as if the Idea was coming from an entirely different person itself, and not from you. Thoughts such as "just one more and you'll be done", or really anything obviously intending you to take another drink, look at them as if they were an embodiment of that other person, and quite literally tell that individual to "Go the fuck away!".
This method is the start of developing a "Shadow personality", by collecting all of the desires and traits of your own mind that your conscious has deemed unreasonable and detrimental to yourself, and disconnecting the Idea that those are truly apart of you. Those ideas are then shoved them into the back of your mind to never be expressed where then they are completely forgotten.
But that's quite a bit to take in immediately, so my first suggestion is to try and recognize which thoughts in your mind are purposefully trying to make you take a drink. After identifying them, target them... with no mercy! :V
~Jester
The Mad Katter
Funny you mentioned NA cause about 2 years back when I was living in Calgary, I once went to what I thought was an AA meeting but it was actually an NA meeting. Didn't even know there was such a thing as NA before that. Was kind of weird to me but all the people seemed to be very supportive and what not. I'll have to see if there is one where I am living now.
I don't drink all day or anything, just usually everyday and usually way too much on my days off. Just been a little stressed the past few months. I have quit for weeks at a time a few times in the past and felt a lot better about myself when I did, I guess I should use that as motivation. I haven't drank today and don't plan to tomorrow so that's a good start. I just need to get my shit together.
I sure bet you do, it's great. Alcohol in finland is crazy expensive, so you will probably be homeless as well as an alcoholic. Twice the awesome.
This sounds like a plan.
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Chuchi
Where'd the time go?
No, see, that's what Estonia is for.
Torrijos-sama
The Artist Formerly Known as Jesusfish
Always buy things where they're cheapest.
But if you think it's a problem, then it's probably a big problem.
But if you think it's a problem, then it's probably a big problem.
RedSavage1
DefunctDupAccount
Definitely. Like I said, not to knock on AA, buuuut they can be really elitist about the YOU MUST FOLLOW THE 12 STEPS OR YOU WILL FAIL. YOU MUST GIVE YOURSELF UP TO A HIGHER POWER---WHICH TOTALLY DOESN'T MEAN A WHITE CHRISTIAN GOD (even though every single thing we say says other wise and we often close with the lord's prayer).
NA tends to be a little more laid back and while they do us a version of the twelve steps, they figure as long as you're staying sober then you're good. Practice the steps that work best for you. And they home in on the part about a "higher power" being something you create in your mind as something to dictate your better cause.
Me, I've always had a voice in the back of my head that has known what was right. From the moment I started boozing and drugging it was there saying, 'You know, maybe this isn't so much fun anymore. Maybe it's time to quit. You know, cocaine is a really really bad idea." It's a voice that usually comes out and says lots of logical straight forward things that apply to most of my life, but I ignored it in favor of what's easier and feels good now rather than later. When this happens it usually starts biting me in the ass.
I mean--it's me thinking this thought. This better line of thinking in a way. But at the same time, somehow -not- my centric line of thinking that I follow without question. Maybe some people call this voice God. Maybe some people call this voice the angel on the shoulder. Me? I choose to call it my inner power. My inner dæmon so to speak. I imagine it as this bitching hell-monster of truth. My greatest monger of my greatest fear--the fact that I do know better, but waste time dicking around with anti-solutions because of personal weakness.
So in their big, 'giving up to the higher power' part, which sounds really damn christy if you're inclined to see it that way, I think, "Alright... obviously my shit-self wants to fuck around and not do anything right. I'm gonna stop doing and thinking what I want and I'm gonna do what that higher voice within me says."
So when you go in, really think around what my first seem like a bunch or religious trite. Again, NA is looser, but sometimes you can find a group that's almost an AA clone and it can be really off putting. Like,
When you have to start telling yourself things like, 'Well I don't drink all day' or 'Well I've just been...really stressed', it's time to set it down, in my opinion. Drinking/drugging removes all pathways to dealing with it in a rational and healthy manner. My experience with that was that I ended up this wreck of a person every time I went sober, all my problems rushing back, nothing really solves, and a complete mental inability to deal with them without them seeming overwhelming. Even if it's just something as simple as physical stress, it needs to be dealt with in a sober way that you'll actually remember.
Basically drugs and booze should be recreational. That's it. They should be fun--though not the only fun there is. They shouldn't be pathways to forgetting your problems or dealing with stress. They just kind of cover them up. And every time, without fail, the morning after comes and you feel like shit, you're depressed because you drank/drugged again even though you said you wanted to stop, and your problems are still there. Everything is exactly as it was, except now you feel a little more like shit.
And to the simple-ass response of, 'just quit drinking', okay yeah no shit. But on top of just -not drinking- and trying not to think about it, go in with a plan. That's what NA/AA does. They give you this sort of plan of what to do when you feel like drinking, what you can do when you feel like there's no other solution except drinking, what you can do when your friends ask if you want to go out drinking. Because 'just quit drinking' is only half the solution. Because what that leads to is, "Hey! I feel better. Man, this is great." And then one day you wake up and forget why it was so bad to begin with. You say, "Hey! I'll go get a sex pack. No biggie." Cue old cycle again. For people who don't understand addiction, this concept of always wanting to go back is hard for them to wrap their heads around. "It's called not being able to moderate." "It's called being irresponsible." "It's called being weak."
And it's like yeah--sure. Call it that. People who've been in it know better. It's just called addiction. And that goes beyond just "quit drinking". It moves into the area of "stay sober". Because human memory is short and you really begin telling yourself that it wouldn't be that bad to go back when everything you've ever experiences is screaming that it will. It will always go bad.
~Jester
The Mad Katter
Wow, there are so many inspirational comments here. If I didn't make this thread I must say I might be on a different path so I really do thank all of you who added something positive here. In hindsight I do kind of wish I had named the thread something like alcoholism or something more serious than "Should I go to AA"....Know what I'm saying? I usually put up a front like everything is okay, but to tell you the truth it's not always okay and I think that's the same story with a lot of people. So many people act like their lives are perfect, when in reality everyone has something going on or has learnt from some of their previous imperfections. It's you honest people that I truly do admire. Thank you.
EDIT:I guess I should of just posted this in the confessions thread. ...
EDIT:I guess I should of just posted this in the confessions thread. ...
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RedSavage
Rattlesnake Flavored
No no, this is right where it belongs.
And man, how can I properly portray just how fucked my life has been at times? I myself spent three years straight stoned, drunk, or twisted in general. Near the end I got into cocaine and lost a motorcycle cause I let some ex-friends who turned into cokeheads get the better of me. My lease ran out and I had no place lined up because the one person who was going to give me a place to stay said she didn't want to anymore because she'd found out I'd spent all my money on coke. I was homeless in a tent city for another month, walking to work. I had people tell me to my face "they didn't associate with moochers." I considered suicide after realizing that I was a tremendous tool and had been using my friends for the past three years simply as a means to keep using drugs.
I found out the hard way no one has any sympathy for anyone who's hit rock bottom. More so, they have no patience or acceptance for what change you do show, because all they see is someone trying to scramble back into their old position of leeching off friends--not someone who's genuinely trying to change for the better. That took time. So much time and I'm still getting there. But I'm better than I ever was mentally, even if I am between places and a better job. (I applied to a dairy trucking company and got a call about my application yesterday---here's to hoping!!)
Basically, you're not alone. Truly you ain't. This is really a place we come and put on a different face because this is where we come to sometimes get a break from constantly worrying about our lives. Some, however, also know this can be a place to get some insight into human condition and really look to see how they can better their lives. It's rare--but hey, you asked an honest question, and you got some drop dead brutal and honest answers alongside encouragement for a better life.
1000bluntz
mark ass trick
lol bruh you do not need 'constructive criticism' in fact I think that's the last thing you need especially from this forum. What you need is a support network of people who care about you, addiction is difficult to overcome on your own. Are you going through hard times ? Are you trying to drown out grief ?
RedSavage
Rattlesnake Flavored
Hey sometimes we care about each other. Sometimes.
I just really relate having gone through trying to get clean on my own, relapsing, getting super depressed, and then getting into rehab finally. Got clean time under my belt. Etc.
I still worry about using now and then. I guess it's a...healthy fear, though. Lest I forget about all the shit that got me here to begin with.
Plus---true fact. Job opportunities open like a mother-fucker when you don't have to automatically exclude everything that says "drug testing" in the application.
Ozriel
Inglorious Bastard
My opinion, but I would not do AA since it is more or less avoiding WHY you drink and not getting to the root of the issue. Abstinence, unless you want that..
I's suggest seeking a psychologist that specializes in addictive behaviors to get to the root of why you drink.
I's suggest seeking a psychologist that specializes in addictive behaviors to get to the root of why you drink.
RedSavage
Rattlesnake Flavored
...Alright, this to me speaks of slight ignorance towards AA/NA. Either that or your experience has drastically differed that mine.
A lot of the steps are designed to make the alcoholic or user look inward to discover why they drink and use. A good program forces one to look into past resentments and address the reasons why we have justified drinking and using when it has proven to be unhealthy thus far. To look where we can learn to let past pains go and change ourselves for the better because we are literally the only person we control. Therapy is a supported idea within the AA/NA program, as it keeps meetings from being an impromptu therapy session for one member in particular. Crosstalk, or commenting or giving advice on another member's current issues is not allowed (or at the very least, highly frowned upon."
Just trying to establish that AA/NA is not a "cover it up and let Jesus handle it" it type thing. I will admit, it's neither designed to avoid personal issues nor completely resolve them, per se, but rather separately aligned as a continued sobriety tool outside of psychiatric help. A good AA/NA sponsor will help discuss and try to discover reasons why you drink or use (it's the 4th step I believe, an honest and fearless moral inventory of oneself), but that person will also suggest professional help for deeper reasons of mental anguish that prompts self-destructive behavior.
Just... just saying as someone who has already discovered and addressed the issues that led me to use, but still struggles with the addiction aspect anyways.
~Jester
The Mad Katter
Haven't gone to "AA" or "NA" or anything lately, just been going it on my own the past week or so. Gone a few days without alcohol and have only drank once or twice very moderately. I want to think I could be someone who can drink moderately and be responsible, I just want to be normal. Any time I have tried complete abstinence to alcohol I've always ended up going hard as fuck after not drinking for so long.
I've been really observing my thought patterns lately though, like when I'm at an intersection that leads left (to the liquor store) or right (home). I just gotta say to myself "fuck dude just go home and do something productive". Just a matter of seriously observing one's own thoughts of why we/"I" do what we do habitually. I was seeing a D/A counsellor for about two years but haven't seen him in a year because he was pretty much a youth counselor and I'm 25 now soo... not a youth anymore I guess.
Health Canada does pay for counselors/psychologists so maybe I should look into that again. I know it did help, it's always helpful just to have someone to be a sounding board with no strings attached. Like I said though, just the inspiration from this thread has actually really helped. It's good to know you're not alone in the world, situational wise or what not.
I've been really observing my thought patterns lately though, like when I'm at an intersection that leads left (to the liquor store) or right (home). I just gotta say to myself "fuck dude just go home and do something productive". Just a matter of seriously observing one's own thoughts of why we/"I" do what we do habitually. I was seeing a D/A counsellor for about two years but haven't seen him in a year because he was pretty much a youth counselor and I'm 25 now soo... not a youth anymore I guess.
Health Canada does pay for counselors/psychologists so maybe I should look into that again. I know it did help, it's always helpful just to have someone to be a sounding board with no strings attached. Like I said though, just the inspiration from this thread has actually really helped. It's good to know you're not alone in the world, situational wise or what not.
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My brother actually posted this article on Facebook, telling us how true all of this was for him (He had also stopped drinking entirely)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelly...during-my-year-without-alcohol_b_5291015.html
Maybe this can be some good motivation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelly...during-my-year-without-alcohol_b_5291015.html
Maybe this can be some good motivation.
Teckolf
Drank ALL the Coffee!!!
Alcohol is one of those things that if it gets too bad the only "fix" is to go cold turkey. I was a heavy drinker for a while, my life hadn't really been affecred by it yet but it was getting close. Well, I ended up going on a prescription for an unrelated health problem and it interacted with alcohol badly with varying levels of severity each time I drank... Sometimes, I could drink 2-3 times my limit without as much of a buzz, and other times 2 beers would put me under. And while hangovers where not a ting I had to deal with, the medication that I was on would be ineffective for days after a binge. I decided it wasnt worth it and stopped drinking completely.
With all that being said you will have to determine for yourself what is helpful for you. Again dont knock it until you try it and see if it helps you out.
With all that being said you will have to determine for yourself what is helpful for you. Again dont knock it until you try it and see if it helps you out.