This isn't a snack at all but I am borderline notorious for putting
ranch salad dressing on practically everything that I eat.
Pizza? Ranch.
Chicken-flavored ramen noodles? Ranch.
Spaghetti? Ranch.
Plain white rice? Ranch.
Mashed potatoes? Ranch.
Chicken? Ranch.
Basically every type of microwavable dinner meal that you can find in the Walmart frozen food section? Ranch.
And I'm not talking about a dab of ranch here or there, but a
big,
FAT glob of this stuff on top of whatever it is that I'm consuming. The only things that I don't utterly defile with ranch salad dressing are those obvious "
don't you dare put ranch on this you degenerate fuck" nosh items like cold and hot cereals or fruit. That would be excessive even for a self-proclaimed ranch addict like myself.
Oh, and the best ranch is the tried-and-true yet oh-so-yum buttermilk-flavored ranch made by Hidden Valley. Wish Bone is ok'ish I suppose. Kraft ranch, despite being made by a reputable company, is nasty to me on account of its sweet and tangy flavor. Worst ranch is that weird off-brand junk you can periodically find sitting on the condiments shelves of your local bargain bin store like Dollar Tree or Dollar General. Shit's downright gross. Tastes way too artificial. Usually has an off-putting gelatinous texture too.
Newest ranch dressing I've tried? That "Three Cheese Ranch" variant made by HEB that I just discovered last week.
That stuff right there is the nectar of the gods I swear.