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Social media envy

Gangsta Fox

Member
Does anyone get this all the damn time? I go on social media just to enjoy myself and then suddenly I see someone who is NOTHING like me strive and succeed. Who is everything I spite. A snobby human being. A person who is younger and better than you. Has 30k followers while you're in the special needs class. They have amazing art and and a real Chad.
It really sucks man. The feeling is terrible. It seems that you all seem to enjoy each other's company despite your differences.


I know it's all fake. They are all trash on the inside. Probably. But I can't stand it.

Do you know how to prevent this incredibly DRAINING feeling?

I just want to enjoy things again. Everything. Without getting jealous.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Mhm, I know it. Bah I even had period like that.
How did I sorted it out? By stop caring about it.

That's the irony of life mate. You will get what you want once you stop giving the damn crap. In your case it will be satisfaction.
 

Kinare

RAWR
The only way I found to prevent it is just to not go on Facebook (I never used the others so idk). I got so tired of seeing just about everyone posting about how great their lives were. It especially hurt to see people who moved away after adulthood kicked in and lost contact with me are now having amazing lives because they were able to leave this horrid place and find better opportunities. I'm barely hanging onto the bare basics that took me until I was 27 to get, still lacking a lot of things that would make me happy, while they have everything they could ever want and no real threat of losing it... It just hurts too much, I had to stop. They're not even bad people, so it's not like I can really hate them for it. I'm glad they're happy, I just really wish I could be too.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
The only way I found to prevent it is just to not go on Facebook (I never used the others so idk). I got so tired of seeing just about everyone posting about how great their lives were. It especially hurt to see people who moved away after adulthood kicked in and lost contact with me are now having amazing lives because they were able to leave this horrid place and find better opportunities. I'm barely hanging onto the bare basics that took me until I was 27 to get, still lacking a lot of things that would make me happy, while they have everything they could ever want and no real threat of losing it... It just hurts too much, I had to stop. They're not even bad people, so it's not like I can really hate them for it. I'm glad they're happy, I just really wish I could be too.
Think about it mate, would you post bad things?
I have decent life and have no need to expose it to everyone. Most of the people that are 24/7 on facebook or do different events... for facebook. Do not have real happiness.

Do not be envious of them, they might be envious of you or someone else.
 

PolarSchizo

Well-Known Member
Does anyone get this all the damn time? I go on social media just to enjoy myself and then suddenly I see someone who is NOTHING like me strive and succeed. Who is everything I spite. A snobby human being. A person who is younger and better than you. Has 30k followers while you're in the special needs class. They have amazing art and and a real Chad.
It really sucks man. The feeling is terrible. It seems that you all seem to enjoy each other's company despite your differences.


I know it's all fake. They are all trash on the inside. Probably. But I can't stand it.

Do you know how to prevent this incredibly DRAINING feeling?

I just want to enjoy things again. Everything. Without getting jealous.


Truth about social media? Exactly what you said. It's trash.

One thing I used to be, specifically in my teen years, was develop websites and Excel in it. But no matter what I did, people thought I wasn't good enough or critized me for lack of updates or half ass work and never understood or appreciated the fact that I was basically missing a lot of classes at school and endless hours behind a computer trying to please them.

The reality is, we all come to a point where we decide what would make us happy. Such example, in the present, is being on Twitter and seeing these guys talk smack and have lots of followers and im here trying to be genuine and less than 10. Does it discourage me sometimes? Yeah. But then I realize that it's just the internet, it doesn't stop me from being happy, let them be trash and let me be me. Free yourself!
 

Kinare

RAWR
Think about it mate, would you post bad things?

I have, yes, and have seen others do the same. On my "internet friends only" Facebook there were 3 others in particular who shared their not-so-good days just as often as the good ones and I appreciated them sharing, not because "misery loves company" or something like that, but one in particular I actually learned a lot from. She was abused by her husband and suffered a lot from depression and anxiety, she had a LOT of bad days, and I hope things are much better for her now that she's away from him. The only reason I stopped using my not-IRL Facebook was solely laziness, it was a lot to scroll through daily and I just got tired of it.

As for the account my first post is mainly talking about, my IRL one, I have no doubt those people are mostly happy. They occasionally post something slightly sad like "I stubbed my toe" or some shit, and well I knew these people very well when they were still in my life so I feel they'd no doubt post if something awful was happening. Regardless of what reality may be beyond the screen, and I do admit maybe they do opt to not post sad things, it's very hard not to focus on the "but they have everything I want and more" aspect. Was only hurting my sanity and there was no benefit to it so I had to get rid of it.

Do not be envious of them, they might be envious of you or someone else.

Hahaha, that's funny. Ain't no one envious of this cat, I can promise you that. (Hey, I made a rhyme.) Only thing people should be envious of is my fantastic immune system. The rest of my body might be fucked, but I never get sick, so win I guess.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
I have, yes, and have seen others do the same. On my "internet friends only" Facebook there were 3 others in particular who shared their not-so-good days just as often as the good ones and I appreciated them sharing, not because "misery loves company" or something like that, but one in particular I actually learned a lot from. She was abused by her husband and suffered a lot from depression and anxiety, she had a LOT of bad days, and I hope things are much better for her now that she's away from him. The only reason I stopped using my not-IRL Facebook was solely laziness, it was a lot to scroll through daily and I just got tired of it.

As for the account my first post is mainly talking about, my IRL one, I have no doubt those people are mostly happy. They occasionally post something slightly sad like "I stubbed my toe" or some shit, and well I knew these people very well when they were still in my life so I feel they'd no doubt post if something awful was happening. Regardless of what reality may be beyond the screen, and I do admit maybe they do opt to not post sad things, it's very hard not to focus on the "but they have everything I want and more" aspect. Was only hurting my sanity and there was no benefit to it so I had to get rid of it.



Hahaha, that's funny. Ain't no one envious of this cat, I can promise you that. (Hey, I made a rhyme.) Only thing people should be envious of is my fantastic immune system. The rest of my body might be fucked, but I never get sick, so win I guess.
You realize that this way you only pump up bad attitude?
Ever thought about changing it and trying to improve it?
 
Z

Z-ro

Guest
Does anyone get this all the damn time? I go on social media just to enjoy myself and then suddenly I see someone who is NOTHING like me strive and succeed. Who is everything I spite. A snobby human being. A person who is younger and better than you. Has 30k followers while you're in the special needs class. They have amazing art and and a real Chad.
It really sucks man. The feeling is terrible. It seems that you all seem to enjoy each other's company despite your differences.


I know it's all fake. They are all trash on the inside. Probably. But I can't stand it.

Do you know how to prevent this incredibly DRAINING feeling?

I just want to enjoy things again. Everything. Without getting jealous.
Fam, if you can't achieve what you want
You ain't trying hard enough
Don't hate on either the lucky or the happy
Complaining ain't gonna get you isht
Now, bearing the bad feelings, and keep going is the best you can do
I also feel envious for a lot of people, but I'm glad for them, and keep going
They can be younger and sometimes a bit spoiled sounding, but they can be more humble than me and you too
You never know, and don't give a damn on their follower list, fuck the followers, you are the only one who has to follow you
So don't focus on your bad feelings, just try to relax and keep going
Stress is never going to help you
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
Does anyone get this all the damn time? I go on social media just to enjoy myself and then suddenly I see someone who is NOTHING like me strive and succeed. Who is everything I spite. A snobby human being. A person who is younger and better than you. Has 30k followers while you're in the special needs class. They have amazing art and and a real Chad.
It really sucks man. The feeling is terrible. It seems that you all seem to enjoy each other's company despite your differences.

I know it's all fake. They are all trash on the inside. Probably. But I can't stand it.

Do you know how to prevent this incredibly DRAINING feeling?

I just want to enjoy things again. Everything. Without getting jealous.
I don't have all the answers for you, but I can say that "social media influencer" only looks like a dream job from the outside. One of the YouTubers I follow frequently mentions that her teenage kids are like "LOL no" when their classmates mention wanting to grow up to be one. She also has a podcast, "The Uncurated Life," that talks a lot about the differences between the image people project on social media and what things are like behind the scenes.

Sometimes I get frustrated, too, because I see people doing things that I, artistically, have the ability to do (as in,"create cool stickers," not as in "I could have drawn that"), but that I due to poor health and finances couldn't pull off if I tried. It sucks to have to punt the things I really want to be able to do to the future, but I also can't really change that unless I want to do myself a harm by pushing myself to do more than I have the energy for.

Avoid the people who make you feel shitty. Think about the things that you can do. Make a conscious effort to compare yourself to past you, not other people. A five-year journal might be helpful for that.
 

Kinare

RAWR
You realize that this way you only pump up bad attitude?
Ever thought about changing it and trying to improve it?

I probably shouldn't reply to this while tired and depressed, but oh well, here I am.

Maybe it's just that easy for you to put on a happy face and get through whatever trials come at you and just maintain a happy attitude all the time, but not so much for other people. Some of us need help we can't get, or maybe there's no fixing us and we're just "one of those people". Some of it may be our own fault, some of it legit is just life saying "fuck you". I wish I could make people understand what it's like to feel this way, but unless you've been through the same situation as someone else it's hard to understand. I can't just flick a switch in my head and suddenly have a positive outlook when shit is the way it is.
 

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
I probably shouldn't reply to this while tired and depressed, but oh well, here I am.

Maybe it's just that easy for you to put on a happy face and get through whatever trials come at you and just maintain a happy attitude all the time, but not so much for other people. Some of us need help we can't get, or maybe there's no fixing us and we're just "one of those people". Some of it may be our own fault, some of it legit is just life saying "fuck you". I wish I could make people understand what it's like to feel this way, but unless you've been through the same situation as someone else it's hard to understand. I can't just flick a switch in my head and suddenly have a positive outlook when shit is the way it is.
What I ended up doing was making a point of writing down a sentence or two about something positive that happened, or a personal accomplishment, at the end of the day. It doesn't have to be much - sometimes it's "made dinner" (I don't generally cook because limited energy and it tends to exhaust me) or "built a cool thing in Minecraft" or "the cat was super cute doing this thing" - but it forces you to look for the little glimmers of light. It doesn't always make me feel better, but it does sometimes help. (And it takes all of like five minutes so why not?)

I have medicated but otherwise untreated chronic depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and probably other crap. Life isn't fun most days. But there's usually something that didn't completely suck about my day, and I think that it's good to recognize that.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
I probably shouldn't reply to this while tired and depressed, but oh well, here I am.

Maybe it's just that easy for you to put on a happy face and get through whatever trials come at you and just maintain a happy attitude all the time, but not so much for other people. Some of us need help we can't get, or maybe there's no fixing us and we're just "one of those people". Some of it may be our own fault, some of it legit is just life saying "fuck you". I wish I could make people understand what it's like to feel this way, but unless you've been through the same situation as someone else it's hard to understand. I can't just flick a switch in my head and suddenly have a positive outlook when shit is the way it is.
Ahh I guess you are one of those that prefer to cry on internet? Do not worry, once you would see what I went through you would take what you just said back. (You see, I also have fucked up body a big time.)

You can get help, you just prefer others to feel sorry for you. Do you know how I know it? Cause I was like that for long time.

Well if you don't want to change attitude and do so.ething about your life then it is your own choice. You will not achieve anything otherwise.

And belieeeve me, I know what it means to have unfair life. Crying about it won't help.


P.S - As I am texting this I am on Prozac treatment and my walking cane is right next to me. That's only scratching the surface of shit I have to face. Rethink what you say next time.

Edit: Fake smile releases dopamine like normal smile. Try it out long enough and you should feel better
 

Filter

ɹǝʇlᴉℲ
Avoid things that leave you feeling worse about yourself. That's partly why I stopped using Facebook and similar sites years ago.

On the positive side, you're aware that much of it is fake. That's a good start. You know in your head that it's not worth losing sleep over. Eventually, the heart should follow.
 

dragon-in-sight

mane diva
Social Media is just a medium of self advertising and veneer. In RL noenes live is without flaws and problems. But in social media people can put the spotlight to things, making their lives look better while blinding out the daily shit of their existence. A star on facebook and instergram may just be a loner living a shallow and empty life. And this is nothing to be envious about. Don't let yourself be fooled from pictures and claims. The grass isn't greener on the other side, and you just put yourself down thinking so.
 
B

blue sky love

Guest
Over the years I've learned to be humble and appreciate what I have.

And it is NOT easy to learn that mindset.

Long story short I do not wanna go through all that again. :(
 
P

Purplefuzz

Guest
Think about it mate, would you post bad things?
I have decent life and have no need to expose it to everyone. Most of the people that are 24/7 on facebook or do different events... for facebook. Do not have real happiness.

Do not be envious of them, they might be envious of you or someone else.

Yup, they not posting they bad times they had. Just there excuse on being attention seekers online.
 

Fallowfox

Are we moomin, or are we dancer?
If you're finding that the internet is giving you a 'fear of missing out' or making you feel like you don't have what you deserve in life- things other people are seemingly flaunting, then perhaps you should cut down on the amount that you use social media.
 

Gangsta Fox

Member
Fam, if you can't achieve what you want
You ain't trying hard enough
Don't hate on either the lucky or the happy
Complaining ain't gonna get you isht
Now, bearing the bad feelings, and keep going is the best you can do
I also feel envious for a lot of people, but I'm glad for them, and keep going
They can be younger and sometimes a bit spoiled sounding, but they can be more humble than me and you too
You never know, and don't give a damn on their follower list, fuck the followers, you are the only one who has to follow you
So don't focus on your bad feelings, just try to relax and keep going
Stress is never going to help you

You're right. Whining and complaining about people who instantly turn me off isn't going to do anything. The best thing I can do is go over the hump

What am I not trying hard enough to do again?
 

foxmusk

uh oh stinky
Social media conditions us to view other people as something to become, so i think it's logical you feel that way. We're practically trained to feel inadequate with ourselves by always comparing ourselves to others. Some folks just get lucky and grab an audience, some don't, but it doesn't devalue you as a person to not be as visible as them.
 

LameFox

Well-Known Member
Being so judgemental about them and making it out like some kind of injustice that they're more popular than you probably doesn't help. The more you make it out to be some kind of conflict the more acutely you're going to feel bad about being on the losing side of it. It's unlikely their popularity even has any measurable impact on yours; people can follow as many different artists as they want.
 
Z

Z-ro

Guest
You're right. Whining and complaining about people who instantly turn me off isn't going to do anything. The best thing I can do is go over the hump

What am I not trying hard enough to do again?
That you'll discover after you have achieved what you wanted
 

MaelstromEyre

Slippery When Wet
I have never been one to follow YouTubers or "influencers," mostly because I just think it's a silly thing to begin with. If they manage to squeeze some kind of living out of it, good for them, but I've seen way too many young adults bank their future on being a "YouTuber" or a streamer.

I have some connections on Social Media who make a show out of being emo, talking about how everyone hates them and they're so alone, so I usually just end up unfollowing or muting them. It's not fun, it's not edgy, it's irritating.
 

MadXStitcher

Well-Known Member
If that's how you talk on your social media platform of choice, belittling and spitefully insulting those in your circle, no wonder they're doing better than you. These kind of posts are an instant unfollow from me.

Are there toxic people striving on social media? Sure. But you see those more because that's what you're following. Go follow actual artists. Go follow weather chasers and science bloggers. Get rid of the news and celebrities and actually try interacting with people and posting something of value. Life isn't about chasing numbers. If you're chasing numbers, you've already lost.
 
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