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Struggle: getting things done

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Hey guys! I've been wondering if I should try opening up a little bit becuase it might help me and others, or at least inspire by sharing my daily struggles and how I get through them every day.

In my case it's about ADHD but I've seen people having similar issues (not as extreme as those with my condition) but I have noticed that the techniques I am learning are also useful for other people!

I'll leave the blog where I talk about this initiative for the first time here !

P.D. I do mention this in my blog but I will do it agin just in case: I am not a psychologist! This isn't about teaching you to solve your problems! But I did find it helpful to lister about other people's struggles and how they deal with them. That's the idea of this! To realize that you are not alone and we can fight, learn together, learn from each other!

What are your thoughts about this matter? Do you struggle making a schedule? Do you have issues working or doing house chores? What do you do about it?!

I go to psychotherapy so in future blogs I will write the things I've been working on, what failed for me, what inspired me, what failed but opened a new path, etc...
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
Hello hun, long time no see.
I also have a struggle with it, quite a big one at it.
The way I do it? To get something done? Is to force myself to make a first step, then a second one until it will become a habit and will be hard to break. Of course there are moments when even this becomes hard.

Other option might be hypnotherapy. Sessions are not cheap but guided meditations and hypnosis are all over youtube and if you want I can dm you some that I recommend.

But honestly, making first step usually does the job. It is hard to make but once it is made? You can do it.


P.s of course inform us about progress ;)
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Is to force myself to make a first step

Yes that is the first thing we, those who actually want to get things done, would try. Unfortunately for ADHD people that is not a good solution because our issue isn't lack of motivation or... let's say, lazyness? lack of mood? It's just that our brain will not colaborate and we feel blocked, and we struggle with "why can't I do this even if I'm trying so hard?"

Of course your method is perfectly valid as an example! I will totally mention it later becuase it's the first thing I do every day in the morning. Sit and try to start SOMETHING. But it doesn't work, and that is the main reasion I'm doing all of this! To inspire and help each other, help those who can't deal with it so easily!

P.S. I miss you and hate you for disappearing xD hugs!
 

MaelstromEyre

Slippery When Wet
I have ADHD as well. As I type this, I should be out in our barn, cleaning the horse's stalls and getting everything ready for feeding tonight. And then I need to go to bed, because I worked an overnight shift and I have another overnight shift tonight, so at some point sleep will be necessary.

Instead, what am I doing? Browsing the forums.

The thing with ADHD is that we crave stimulation. It's not that I don't want to go do my barn work. . .I actually enjoy it, and I love how the barn feels and looks when the stalls are done and the hay bags are filled and ready. I just can't always connect the feeling of satisfaction I get from finishing the job, when I have something else that has my attention for the moment.

Sometimes you just have to take that first step. Making a list may help break things down for you. Like, if you have housework to do, write what you want to get done, and check it off as you do it. Seeing a physical list - on paper, not on a phone, because then you'll get distracted playing on your phone, I know this because I do it. Actually checking off or crossing off each task ask it is done will give you a sense of accomplishment. So, you can look at it and say "here, I did ALL THIS" and your house will look better and feel cleaner. Light some scented candles or something and just sit down and enjoy it.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Sometimes you just have to take that first step. Making a list may help break things down for you. Like, if you have housework to do, write what you want to get done, and check it off as you do it. Seeing a physical list - on paper, not on a phone, because then you'll get distracted playing on your phone, I know this because I do it. Actually checking off or crossing off each task ask it is done will give you a sense of accomplishment. So, you can look at it and say "here, I did ALL THIS" and your house will look better and feel cleaner. Light some scented candles or something and just sit down and enjoy it.

Yes totally! I know all of that, I have 2 huge cork panels with tasks in colorful papers on my wall and they do seem to make my job easier than when I used google calendar and other apps!
Thanks for telling me your story!

These tips aren't really just for me, I've already tried a lot of things! My idea is for you guys to share yours and I will also share all my process on each blog: how everything started, how I looked for a psychologist, what I learned from that, how to know if you're in the right hands, etc...
So I'm not really asking here for a solution to my problem, but to help and inspire people who stuggle with the same things I do! ^^
 

MauEvigEternalCat

Proud Feline Warrior
It's great that you're doing this.
I know that "How to ADHD" on Youtube has a lot of helpful advice.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD co morbid with Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD, Social Anxiety Disorder and mild OCD.
As far as getting stuff done...I consider it a good week if I remember to do the laundry, or didn't lose my phone/keys, etc.
Now with pets, the plus side is they will remind you that they need to be fed. They will pester the heck out of me and practically say "hey hyooman, the food dish is empty. Fill it now." So I have an easier time caring for animals than plants, but I am going to try once more to do a small potted garden this year so I can have some fresh home grown vegetables (those are the best!).
The house is a mess...and I do occasionally clean my desk...only for it to be a mess again.
Right now, I'm on medication called "Intuniv" well...generic variety really...and it's supposed to help calm my temper and keep me focused. The only down side is it makes me a little drowsy, but I'm working to counter that with diet and exercise. So far so good...except it starts to wear off at the end of my shift at work since it's one of those things you have to take right before bed.
I'm also going to go to therapy, though it's more to deal with the anxiety than anything, and the annoying self doubt/impostor syndrome I deal with on a day to day basis.
I'd definitely like to watch this thread though and see what good advice people come up with.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
I'd definitely like to watch this thread though and see what good advice people come up with.

Thank you for sharing! I'm already working on next blog <3

I don't take medicine for now becuase I'd like to see how it goes first without anything like that, so I'm with psychotherapy trying to find a balance that works for me.

Until now of course I didn't take medicine because I wasn't diagnosed, and I had no idea what my problem was until like 3 months ago! >.< I've seen that lots of woman get diagnosed very very late as adults because it's very common that they aren't physically hyperactive and most psychologist don't diagnose you if you're not climbing the walls....
I suppose it's part of a bad education or lack of information that as a professional they should be aware about!
 

PercyD

Lover of Beasty Baes
For me, it's mostly having the energy to do things these days~. I think it's a combination of:
  1. having too much on my plate
  2. biting off more than I can chew (i.e. not saying no to things. B( )
  3. (in the case of my business) not pricing my time wisely so I'm efficiently compensated
That last one is p important because I'm self employed. How much I get for my time is how I get to survive. So if I get the math wrong or accept less, then it causes quality of life issues that diminishes my ability to do things.

So any way- how to get things done.

First step, recognize that all of those things are a thing. It can be summed up as setting priorities, and budgeting what resources I have for the day. I like the old term "spoons". I have a set amount of spoons for work and basic functions for the day. After that, no more. I should go do a relaxing activity, idle, or just go to sleep.

I make a list. I have a calendar. I prioritize my needs (social, spiritual, mental, emotional, physical). Then my deadlines for work. I have a set list of prices and how I price things. Lower tier for promotions. Higher tier to make the difference.

One of my current needs that isn't being met- I like to volunteer... Though, I haven't had many resources to do that as of late. I'm hoping that will change soon.
 

Kellan Meig'h

Kilted Luthier
Yanno, I deal with it by having a daily To-Do list. One upstairs in my music room and one downstairs on the reefer. I check them off as I get to them and transfer what didn't get done to the next day's list. Being retired means I'm not fully motivated each day but a list, even if it's a few things, really helps.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
I have another article for personal experiences, this time I'm talking about people pleasing issues!

This is a delicate problem I'm talking about but it's one of the most important struggles that I'm dealing with. So again, don't take it personal OR as a lecture! I'm only presenting my struggles and what I do to improve my daily life.
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
I have another article for personal experiences, this time I'm talking about people pleasing issues!

This is a delicate problem I'm talking about but it's one of the most important struggles that I'm dealing with. So again, don't take it personal OR as a lecture! I'm only presenting my struggles and what I do to improve my daily life.
Reading that I am more and more convinced that I might have ADHD myself :/
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Reading that I am more and more convinced that I might have ADHD myself :/

That is just one of many symptom, though ^^
To have ADHD it means you must have a lot more symptoms and they must have been there since childhood. That's why people saying: ADHD is not real, we all have A BIT of it... it's like saying: We all have depression becuase sometimes we get sad!

I'm not saying you don't have it of course, because I don't know, just don't hop on that train too fast! =o

And also.. either you have ADHD or not (now I'm addressing to everyone) I think what I was talking about applies to everyone: be careful with people pleasing! It's a blessing and a course at the same time! >.<
 

HistoricalyIncorrect

Shekel collector
That is just one of many symptom, though ^^
To have ADHD it means you must have a lot more symptoms and they must have been there since childhood. That's why people saying: ADHD is not real, we all have A BIT of it... it's like saying: We all have depression becuase sometimes we get sad!

I'm not saying you don't have it of course, because I don't know, just don't hop on that train too fast! =o

And also.. either you have ADHD or not (now I'm addressing to everyone) I think what I was talking about applies to everyone: be careful with people pleasing! It's a blessing and a course at the same time! >.<
Lets just say that i know what you mean and I do not make decisions on spot.

But it felt like reading my biography
 

BlackDragonAJ89

Bumbling Everyman
I don't know of I have any form of ADD, simply because I haven't been tested for it, but I do know I can't focus on anything and tend to sporadic about getting things done. Personally what I found (before I took up this very crappy job I'm employed at as of this posting) was that if I created a rough schedule I could get more accomplished and set some reasonable goals for myself. For example, I made it a rule where no more housework could be done after 8pm, I have to stop working on artwork at midnight, and it's lights out at 2am. However, thanks to this very crap job that has me jumping between mid-day workdays and graveyard shifts, my ability to make plans is ruined because I have to work with such little time between working and sleeping. Hopefully after we move out of this area and I quit the job, I can find something else that can make it easier for me to reuse my method again.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Another hint about ADHD is that you can't have a schedule of what to do. It's even hard to make a schedule of when to stop doing anything. This is because we have a very hard time prioritizing tasks and we need to keep our minds busy at every moment.

Also, a regular job is quite impossible. I don't know any ADHD people right now who have a normal job, with a normal routine. I might be wrong and there could be exceptions, like my dad...he had adhd and had a job but his work is maintainance in a mall. He is constantly changing tasks there, fixing stuff all the time and that keeps him busy. Dopamine at it's fullest! And he also enjoys his job. That's a plus.
 

MauEvigEternalCat

Proud Feline Warrior
Another hint about ADHD is that you can't have a schedule of what to do. It's even hard to make a schedule of when to stop doing anything. This is because we have a very hard time prioritizing tasks and we need to keep our minds busy at every moment.

Also, a regular job is quite impossible. I don't know any ADHD people right now who have a normal job, with a normal routine. I might be wrong and there could be exceptions, like my dad...he had adhd and had a job but his work is maintainance in a mall. He is constantly changing tasks there, fixing stuff all the time and that keeps him busy. Dopamine at it's fullest! And he also enjoys his job. That's a plus.

I wonder if that's why I have had a hard time keeping a job in the past.
To be fair, I do try to keep a normal routine at work as much as possible. But I get intimidated and overwhelmed whenever it gets really busy at the restaurant.
I'm hoping to get a full time teaching job, that should keep me pretty busy lol. I managed to get the degree, time to use it. I do have a lot of self doubt though and tend to have impostor syndrome lurking over me all the time. I'm planning to go to therapy and see a career coach to help me get over those hurdles.
Sometimes I like being a little "bored" because it gives my mind time to think up new story ideas.
 

Kinare

RAWR
90% sure I have some form of ADD. I definitely lack the "H" because I don't know how to hyper, even on caffeine. The reason I'm so sure is because a streamer I was watching mentioned it and his explanation of how learning is for him was me exactly. Basically, if I don't care about something it's extremely hard for me to invest any energy in it, even if it's something super important that I need to do for my own good. On the other hand, if I really love something I will invest 200% energy into it.

There's a little middle ground in my case where I can force myself to do some things I don't really care about to certain extents, but I have certain tricks to get myself do them. First step is just not letting my brain think about it and find excuses why I shouldn't. Grocery shopping is a great example. I always go right after work because I can tell myself "I'm already out, I may as well just stop on the way home". I have very rarely gone when I'm already at home, only when I run out of something super important, but that's rare. Second step is to actually do it before I end up failing step one.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
I definitely lack the "H" because I don't know how to hyper,
Hyperactivity doesn't need to be climbing walls. It's just the fact that it seems impossible to stay in a chair still because you need to do stuff all the time.
For example, my job is to stay in front of the pc and draw. It's my passion so I manage to hyperfocus with it... But when I tried working at 2 offices, I was constantly looking for conversation, standing up, looking word, doing random stuff, spacing out. We are very hard to work with.

Also keep in mind that this would happen with any task, not just work.Because it's more likely that you just don't like your job and want to go back home.That's not adhd.

The symptoms must appear daily struggling with every little or big task we need to deal it.
As I said before: just because sometimes you feel distracted it doesn't mean it's adhd! We all get depressed every now and then but that doesn't mean we have depression, right?

Of course a diagnosis is the best option if you really fell like you'your life is a daily challenge. Believe me... It IS daily, not just every now and then!
 

Kinare

RAWR
Hyperactivity doesn't need to be climbing walls. It's just the fact that it seems impossible to stay in a chair still because you need to do stuff all the time.

I'm aware of how hyper activity is referenced in this case, but again, that's not me. I could lay there and stare at a wall or screen for hours, unmoving other than changing positions occasionally, and be totally ok with that. I never feel like I just need to move or I'm gonna go insane.

-snipped stuff about it being daily-

It's definitely daily for me. It's not like one day suddenly I can manage to learn about stuff I dislike. I did the college thing before and it was always the same deal: I could start off motivated and do well, but eventually I fell into the same pattern of "this is boring, I don't want to, but I know I need to, but I can't make myself"... It shows up in my work on occasion, but for me overall I do enjoy my job so I don't have too hard of a time keeping myself motivated to do it.

Of course a diagnosis is the best option if you really fell like your life is a daily challenge.

That requires seeing a therapist which takes money I don't have because my job doesn't pay me much and I get no benefits. There's a lot of stuff I'd love to get fixed with brain and body, but alas, 'Murica and no insurance means it'll go untreated and I just have to do my best to deal with it or succumb to it.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
I never feel like I just need to move or I'm gonna go insane.

If you don't need the diagnose to present it on your job or something, then you don't really have to go through diagnosis at all. I needed mine for university becuase it was impossible to me to study so many boring and useless things, my brain just couldn't deal with them. But I also failed at lessons that I was good at! For example, I had assignments to do that I already knew how to do them, I didn't need the lecures... so it was impossible for me to just sit there in class listening. But I couldn't DO the assignments either because in my head it was already solved. So wasting time writing it on paper wasn't motivation enough to make me spend 3 hours just writing a word file.

I had to quit college.

Non ADHD people also have things that they dislike and hate to do, but since it's a MUST do, they end up doing it no matter how. For ADHD people is NOT the same... it's a lot more complex than that.

But hey I'm not diagnosing anyone or saying you have or don't have! Don't get me wrong x.x I just want to talk about all these things because I've been through them and I've done research and therapy enough to understand how it works. I just think people need to understand more about ADHD because it's a lot more than just a "distraction" and "hyperactivity"!

This second blog is just the start of everything that ADHD actually is >.<
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
I wonder if that's why I have had a hard time keeping a job in the past.
To be fair, I do try to keep a normal routine at work as much as possible. But I get intimidated and overwhelmed whenever it gets really busy at the restaurant.
I'm hoping to get a full time teaching job, that should keep me pretty busy lol. I managed to get the degree, time to use it. I do have a lot of self doubt though and tend to have impostor syndrome lurking over me all the time. I'm planning to go to therapy and see a career coach to help me get over those hurdles.
Sometimes I like being a little "bored" because it gives my mind time to think up new story ideas.

I couldn't tell! But if you have the chance to talk to a therapist, then I encourage you to do it!
To me it sounds normal, restaurants ARE overwhelming haha, with or without ADHD. But do you struggle daily, let's say, with house chores? Do you have trouble organizing your tasks, do you have trouble STARTING a simple task like, doing laundry? cleaning a room?

ADHD is there all the time, with everything. Not just a job or studies. Some people handle studies better than others, some are better working in an office surrounded by noise, others need peace, that doesn't mean you have ADHD. My therapist first said that I needed to know who I was first of all. She said: what if it's not ADHD but it's just... you? your personality?

Then it ended up being ADHD becuase my daily life is extremely challenging for me, but ... I did like the fact that she looked at it from other perspective.
 

Inkstars

Radioactive Monster
Hi! I have similar issues, and I tend to take on a mass of tasks that becomes so daunting it never gets done.

So I've started taking the mass of tasks and splitting it down into "what's most important". If I wash laundry, is that as important as washing underwear? Should I clean the house, or just tidy up and vacuum? Should I wash all of the dishes, or just put them in the dishwasher so they're not staring me in the face?

Also I'm pretty sure no one has an ADHD "personality". If you have that, you have ADHD.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Hi! I have similar issues, and I tend to take on a mass of tasks that becomes so daunting it never gets done.

So I've started taking the mass of tasks and splitting it down into "what's most important". If I wash laundry, is that as important as washing underwear? Should I clean the house, or just tidy up and vacuum? Should I wash all of the dishes, or just put them in the dishwasher so they're not staring me in the face?

Also I'm pretty sure no one has an ADHD "personality". If you have that, you have ADHD.

You're just describing that you have many things to do and you organize your tasks by priority, that's... quite normal! (unless you fail at it, becuase I always fail, I ask myself questions and I just end up doing nothing, procrastinating) ADHD brains can't organize tasks that way because we can't prioritize anything unless it's urgent, then we do it because the urgent factor gives us enough dopamine to do that task.

And yes I agree there is no adhd personality, but when someone you don't know comes to you and says: I can't focus, I can't do everything I have to do in a day and I have too many things in list.
You don't assume it's ADHD just like that. Fist she had to make sure how often I have these issues... since when? Some adults just use it as an excuse to get medication prescription... just to boost their productivity, which can be very dangerous. So before she made sure if I really had ADHD she had to look into it deeper.

I'm saying this again: just becuase you feel sad sometimes, that doesn't mean you have depression and just because today you have an ADHD symptom, doesn't mean you have ADHD. And that's why psychologist must be very careful about it.
 

MauEvigEternalCat

Proud Feline Warrior
Hi! I have similar issues, and I tend to take on a mass of tasks that becomes so daunting it never gets done.

So I've started taking the mass of tasks and splitting it down into "what's most important". If I wash laundry, is that as important as washing underwear? Should I clean the house, or just tidy up and vacuum? Should I wash all of the dishes, or just put them in the dishwasher so they're not staring me in the face?

Also I'm pretty sure no one has an ADHD "personality". If you have that, you have ADHD.

Well I'm not a doctor, but I think everyone experiences ADHD a little differently, and it's not a "one size fits all" deal. Roxy does have a point though, you have to have had the symptoms since childhood and it takes a good psychiatrist or psychologist to give you a proper diagnosis. The first trip I went they thought I was on the Autism Spectrum, but ADHD and Autism have similar quirks. It turned out after I got a second opinion from a psychiatrist (I saw a psychologist previously that did some testing and I feel like they overlooked my difficulty with attention and down played that.) that I had ADHD with a few anxiety disorders: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety, and Mild OCD. If you combine them with ADHD the quirks are going to look a lot like Autism. However, my old school back in my elementary days thought I had ADD, which is what they called it back then before they added "hyper activity." I actually PREFER the older acronym, but there are some people who lean more on the hyper activity part of it. I'm only hyper active sometimes, but I'm mostly inattentive and a day dreamer and get distracted at the drop of a hat.

One thing that really sucks about the urgent thing is that it can trigger an anxiety response. So I might finally be pushing myself to do the thing, but I end up messing up more thanks to the anxiety and overlooking details. Not everyone is lucky enough to have "hyper focus." I don't. In the rare occasion that I do get going on a project though it's nice when I can focus on it.

Another clue that you might have ADHD is the emotional side of it. The psychiatrist I spoke to said a lot of people mistook ADHD for bipolar disorder. I actually thought I had that at one point, with the rapid cycling because I could end up having a complete melt down sometimes and my emotions go up and down a lot. Not to the same degree as much bi polar individuals do though.

I found these videos to be a very helpful resource in discovering my ADHD:


Another thing I'd recommend is doing a check list prior to going into an appointment. They'll ask you questions about your past experiences.
 

BunBunArt

Princess Bunny ♥
Well I'm not a doctor, but I think everyone experiences ADHD a little differently, and it's not a "one size fits all" deal.

Totally! It mostly feels different when it comes to hyperactivity. I'm the calm type because you don't see me moving around all the time, but if you look carefully, I keep changing pose in the chair, looking around, sigh, making strange moves...
It comes in different shapes and colors but most of the things are pretty much the same.

My dad has it, my grandfather had it... and the patters are pretty much the same with little differences! I think it's really interesting as well how much it's related to creativity and freelancing. My grandfather was a musician and carpenter (freelance!), my dad was a carpenter (same) and he was extremely creative, although he had and still has at his age a million hobbies and keeps jumping from one to another and finally doesn't get anything done at all... And me, I'm also freelance artist and I also try to do many other things, but I can hyperfocus on my passion, which is art. Same as carpenter..ing? for my dad and grandfather.

Yeah like I said, I'm not making a diagnose here! I'm talking about my own type of ADHD of course, I'm still making research, some books are on their way... I'm really curious about how other people deal with their life, how they feel, how different are we really?!
 
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