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Successes of an online, long distance, long term relationship.

Aaron U Pictus

Aaron U Pictus

Aaron
I think there are a few other furs who stand with me in saying this.

I feel like many good and wonderful relationships get a bad rap beacuse the couple found each other online either on a forum in a fandom or whilst gaming online.

And yet I find in many cases (this coming from experience) these chance encounters between two individuals who have never met face to face build a better bond. Both as freinds and slowly over time as partners. This of course assuming their orientations and other compatible elements suit. :3

My freind convinced me of this fact beacuse the individuals who meet each other online can only stimulate a relationship through text for a majority of the time. So a lot of talking takes place, which means getting to know a scary amount about each other. In the end you truly can tell if you're both compatible. And sex can generally not provoke them to make the decision purly through physical urges.

I do catch myself romanticising about finding my partner on the Internet. Purely beacuse there are extremely few who are fitting suitors in the real and local world around me.

So I am very interested to hear what you all would think about just that: finding your partner online.

And what would you think if they were on the other side of the world and you maintained a digital relationship till the day you meet? ^-^
 
Open_Mind

Open_Mind

Well-Known Member
I believe it is absolutely possible, and may even have some advantages. Having to explain your feelings in text requires you to be more careful and thoughtful in your words. It makes you have to think about it more, rather than just speaking off the top of your head. Having to describe yourself to somebody else makes you think more about what you really want. It forces you to ask better questions. Some people may disagree with this, but one thing I like about long distance conversations using DM (like in a Discord- type situation), is the record of your conversation. It is very helpful to help you remember likes, dislikes, and the topics that you've discussed.

Since you can share pictures easily now, LDR's are more than just text messages. You can share the everyday, or the special moments. The time difference can be difficult, especially when one person is starting their day just as the other ends their's. Or when the seasons are completely reversed, and one person is in winter while the other is in summer. But that can also mean that you can see or read someone descripions of things you would never see in your own home town or country.

It can be painful. Excruciatingly so, if the feelings are deep. Many people in these circumstances may drift apart over time. But if it does work, and if the feelings are true, when they finally meet...
♡
... it is a level of joy beyond words!
 
Aaron U Pictus

Aaron U Pictus

Aaron
Open_Mind said:
I believe it is absolutely possible, and may even have some advantages. Having to explain your feelings in text requires you to be more careful and thoughtful in your words. It makes you have to think about it more, rather than just speaking off the top of your head. Having to describe yourself to somebody else makes you think more about what you really want. It forces you to ask better questions. Some people may disagree with this, but one thing I like about long distance conversations using DM (like in a Discord- type situation), is the record of your conversation. It is very helpful to help you remember likes, dislikes, and the topics that you've discussed.

Since you can share pictures easily now, LDR's are more than just text messages. You can share the everyday, or the special moments. The time difference can be difficult, especially when one person is starting their day just as the other ends their's. Or when the seasons are completely reversed, and one person is in winter while the other is in summer. But that can also mean that you can see or read someone descripions of things you would never see in your own home town or country.

It can be painful. Excruciatingly so, if the feelings are deep. Many people in these circumstances may drift apart over time. But if it does work, and if the feelings are true, when they finally meet...
♡
... it is a level of joy beyond words!
Click to expand...

I don't think anyone could express just how special it is capable of being the way you just did.

Albeit as you said: it must be so hard to dedicate yourself to a situation that could potentially be as frustrating as that. But it does prove a real love between two individuals and can be an ultimate test.

It's also such a reassuring thing to hear in others. Thanks for your response ^-^
 
L

-..Legacy..-

Guest
Open_Mind said:
I believe it is absolutely possible, and may even have some advantages. Having to explain your feelings in text requires you to be more careful and thoughtful in your words. It makes you have to think about it more, rather than just speaking off the top of your head. Having to describe yourself to somebody else makes you think more about what you really want. It forces you to ask better questions. Some people may disagree with this, but one thing I like about long distance conversations using DM (like in a Discord- type situation), is the record of your conversation. It is very helpful to help you remember likes, dislikes, and the topics that you've discussed.

Since you can share pictures easily now, LDR's are more than just text messages. You can share the everyday, or the special moments. The time difference can be difficult, especially when one person is starting their day just as the other ends their's. Or when the seasons are completely reversed, and one person is in winter while the other is in summer. But that can also mean that you can see or read someone descripions of things you would never see in your own home town or country.

It can be painful. Excruciatingly so, if the feelings are deep. Many people in these circumstances may drift apart over time. But if it does work, and if the feelings are true, when they finally meet...
♡
... it is a level of joy beyond words!
Click to expand...

That is well thought out, and I agree with this. Coming from a background of constantly being deployed most of my adult life, I'm familiar with maintaining long distance relationships.

Above all though, you'll need to be able to not doubt each other. Trust is a paramount factor in ensuring the survival of a long distance situation.

Just ask who "Jody" is to any US soldier :D
 
quoting_mungo

quoting_mungo

Well-Known Member
I have a husband and a boyfriend who both live (separately) on the other side of an ocean from me. I've known my husband for... I'm pretty sure over half my life at this point. I love them both, and while I look forward to having them in easier reach, our relationship is not particularly threatened by the distance.

I also dated my ex for over a year; we met online and had a less-egregiously-long-but-still-long-distance relationship; about four hours and change by express train, if memory serves.

Online/LD relationships can work. They can also fail spectacularly. Same as any other relationship.
 
Mikazuki Marazhu

Mikazuki Marazhu

I hate you all
Me and my husbando met online. he's a panda bear man who lives in pandaria and practices Kungfu and fights demons.

We both play around alot and he's so nice that he lets me remove all his armor so I can gawk at his nice ass.

He wouldn't remove his underwear, what a tease :V
 
Aaron U Pictus

Aaron U Pictus

Aaron
Mr. Fox said:
The longest online friendship I had lasted over two years, does that count as long term?
Click to expand...

I suppose any kind of meaningful relationship that lasts longer than something similar to "meeting a passing" stranger can be seen as long term yes. ^-^

Finding freinds online let alone a partner to talk to every day even if it's on the Internet I think has its values.
 
Sariia

Sariia

Well-Known Member
I met my (now) fiance online about four to five years ago playing online games. He visited me the first valentines day after we started "dating", I just came back from spending six months with him in the UK, and we're now working on getting a Visa so I can move over there with him from the USA.

It works :) You just have to find the right person. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary last month.
 
Dongding

Dongding

The sheep
Sariia said:
I met my (now) fiance online about four to five years ago playing online games. He visited me the first valentines day after we started "dating", I just came back from spending six months with him in the UK, and we're now working on getting a Visa so I can move over there with him from the USA.

It works :) You just have to find the right person. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary last month.
Click to expand...
Congrats. I had my 3 year just a couple months ago. :3
 
Aaron U Pictus

Aaron U Pictus

Aaron
Sariia said:
I met my (now) fiance online about four to five years ago playing online games. He visited me the first valentines day after we started "dating", I just came back from spending six months with him in the UK, and we're now working on getting a Visa so I can move over there with him from the USA.

It works :) You just have to find the right person. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary last month.
Click to expand...
That is just too wonderful to hear.
Congratulations Sariia!
It is lovely to hear. ^-^
 
Yakamaru

Yakamaru

Woof? Woof
More and more people find a partner online. The lack of physical contact can quite easily get to someone, and an LDR is not for everyone. But if you have the patience for one, it can be a very good and positive bond of which you can learn a lot from. Like what's been already mentioned before, it being long-distance will also come into play into the relationship, putting one more potential strain onto it. The lack of physical contact is also one such potential factor.

Quite frankly I've been looking into getting into an LDR before I take the next step, seeing as my ex completely fucked me up relationship-wise.
 
Yakamaru

Yakamaru

Woof? Woof
ArtyLoop said:
I met my partner online..

Let's see..
Met her online..
Married 11 years
Have one child
Still going strong
She is supportive of me and my work in the fandom. She is also an artist by the way.
Click to expand...
"Work in the fandom"?
 
Yakamaru

Yakamaru

Woof? Woof
Loffi

Loffi

Well-Known Member
I'm a distance person IRL, so I really prefer meeting people online because it gives me a chance to know them better. I don't feel threatened, so I can open up easily. But I'm also not the kind of person who goes out looking for a relationship, so I don't use dating sites or anything like that. If I meet someone, it's because we had a common interest or fandom and we got along well enough. But I'm at the point in my life now where I don't think I would pursue one that was too far away. Too much stress, not enough time.
 
Teh_Skully

Teh_Skully

Insert Title Here
I had a long distance relationship for just under 3 years. I'm in England, they were in Ohio. We met because of their ex back when we were part of a fan forum for a now defunct band (innerpartysystem anyone?). After reaching out to them again when I realised I was waking up for work at a time they were still awake in America, things just....happened. Went over around July 4th time and we made it official. During the time they decided to change gender which I was totally supportive of (it also made me realise my sexuality). While we only met each other 3 times, having that person to help you through bad times was brilliant for both of us suffering.

Sadly it wasn't to be, and a house mate who moved in around the time we got together just had a massive spark and it was clear those two were better for each other. So when we broke up I told them to get together, didn't expect them to get together 4 days after we broke up and then a year later they got engaged. While that hurt (thinking I wasn't good enough), I realised that I would do it again if the right person came around. As much as relationships are good, I'drather not just rush into one
 
Kuuro

Kuuro

Hey man, look at me rocking out!
Once I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met through these forums for 7 months before I moved across the country to be with her. It was absolutely successful, but because of a few complications it ultimately fell through 2 years later. But the online/long-distance factor had nothing to do with the breakup
 
Yakamaru

Yakamaru

Woof? Woof
LDR's can quite easily work fine.

Communication is a key factor. Talk a LOT.
 
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