Tell a bad joke
- Thread starter Magnavox
- Start date
S
SLB-Portu23
Guest
How good it is
Nate/Satsuki
Your friendly neighbourhood disaster
Anal with my girlfriend made my day
But it made her hole weak
But it made her hole weak
S
SLB-Portu23
Guest
How did a middle aged man with tuberculosis win a skateboarding competition against professional opposition? He pulled the sickest tricks.
Keefur
aka Cutter Cat
A guy was saying that his dog knew all about trees. His friend didn't believe him. He asked the dog what was on the outside of a tree trunk. The dog replied, "Bark". He asked how the bark feels and the dog replied, "Ruff" He said that after you cut the tree down, you make shakes out of the wood. What are shakes used for. "Roof", the dog said. The friend said, "I guess your dog DOES know all about trees."
X
Xitheon
Guest
Q: What do you call a hygienic diurnal dog from the Arab states?
Scooby Dubai Bidet By Day Be-doo.
Scooby Dubai Bidet By Day Be-doo.
N
Nyro46
Guest
knock knock
who's there?
crab
crab who?
DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL NEVER TURN INTO A CRAB™
- My 5-year-old self
who's there?
crab
crab who?
DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL NEVER TURN INTO A CRAB™
- My 5-year-old self
Keefur
aka Cutter Cat
Koriekraiz13
kleptomaniac for knowledge
Met the Easter bunny, needs salt
Last edited:
B
blue sky love
Guest
Roses are red
I have crippling depression.
Why are we joking?
I have crippling depression.
Why are we joking?
Cyanomega
Well-Known Member
One day a magical frog sees a bear chasing after a rabbit for dinner.
In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence.
After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first.
After thinking for a while, the bear says,
“I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me.”
Next is the rabbit’s turn, “I wish for a motorcycle helmet,” he says.
The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself.
The bear then says, “I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me.”
The rabbit next says, “I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas.”
The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says,
You could have wished for money to get those two things!”
He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog,
“I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!”
He smiles smugly.
The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says,
“I wish for this bear to be gay.”
In an attempt to bring peace to his magical forest, the frog hops up to the two and promises them 3 wishes each if they stop this violence.
After both animals agreed, the frog chooses the bear to state his first wish, first.
After thinking for a while, the bear says,
“I wish for all the bears in this forest to be female except me.”
Next is the rabbit’s turn, “I wish for a motorcycle helmet,” he says.
The bear laughed, what an idiotic wish to make he thought to himself.
The bear then says, “I wish for all the bears in this country to be female except me.”
The rabbit next says, “I wish for a motorcycle that requires no gas.”
The bear, almost tearing from laughter, says,
You could have wished for money to get those two things!”
He then proceeds to make his final wish, after thinking for a while, he says to the frog,
“I wish for all the bears in the world to be female except for me!”
He smiles smugly.
The rabit then puts on his helmet, hops on his motorcycle, grins to the bear and says,
“I wish for this bear to be gay.”
Faustus
Well-Known Member
Ok, there's a monkey who lived in a travelling circus as part of the chimp's tea party. He was a big hit, because he had been taught to eat daintily with a fork. But he didn't know the word for fork, so he called it his 'four point tool' since it was a tool with four points on it. One day the monkey escaped to the jungle, but he lost his fork along the way. Since he really missed it, he decided to ask around and find out where it had gone.
First he approached the hippopotamus.
"Hello mistress Hippo, have you seen my four point tool?"
"No, mr Monkey," said the hippo, "I've not seen your four point too."
Then he tried the snake.
"Hello hissy mister snake, have you seen my four point tool?"
"No," said the snake, "I've not seen your four point tool."
This went on for some time, and the monkey got sadder and sadder until he'd asked almost everyone in the jungle, all to no avail. Then he came upon a great big jungle cat that he'd never seen the like of before. It was a fearsome looking beast, but the monkey plucked up his courage and approached it anyway.
"Hello, mr Strange Cat. Have you seen my four point tool?" asked the monkey.
"Why yes!" said the cat, "In fact I've eaten it!"
"WHAAAAAT?! What did you do that for you bastard!"
"I'm a four point tool eater jaguar!"
...
Badum-TISH!
First he approached the hippopotamus.
"Hello mistress Hippo, have you seen my four point tool?"
"No, mr Monkey," said the hippo, "I've not seen your four point too."
Then he tried the snake.
"Hello hissy mister snake, have you seen my four point tool?"
"No," said the snake, "I've not seen your four point tool."
This went on for some time, and the monkey got sadder and sadder until he'd asked almost everyone in the jungle, all to no avail. Then he came upon a great big jungle cat that he'd never seen the like of before. It was a fearsome looking beast, but the monkey plucked up his courage and approached it anyway.
"Hello, mr Strange Cat. Have you seen my four point tool?" asked the monkey.
"Why yes!" said the cat, "In fact I've eaten it!"
"WHAAAAAT?! What did you do that for you bastard!"
"I'm a four point tool eater jaguar!"
...
Badum-TISH!
Stray Cat Terry
테리 / 特里 / テリー
What's the thing that's always on a cat's chest, small but powerful?
A catnip.
(Always gets a cat in it's heart/mind powerfully)
*Ba-dum Tss-*
(Oh what a naughty...)
A catnip.
(Always gets a cat in it's heart/mind powerfully)
*Ba-dum Tss-*
(Oh what a naughty...)
I
Infrarednexus
Guest
Astronomers got tired watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours. They decided to call it a day.
Keefur
aka Cutter Cat
A Furry was sitting on a park bench. It was blisteringly hot and humid that day, and people were having to physically drag themselves step by step over the hot pavement as the unmerciful sun beat down upon them. The Furry just sat there and smiled as the people went by, and he was completely unaffected by the heat. Finally, a pedestrian collapsed onto the bench beside the Furry. The pedestrian was completely done in by the baking temperatures, and glanced over at the smiling Furry. "Why in the hell doesn't the heat affect you?!" exclaimed the sweating pedestrian? The Furry just smiled and said, "I wear fursuits. This is nothing."
Fcomega121
Friendly Maney | Once Upon a Laugh, all started <3
What I'm doing here?
A here!
A here!