Tell a bad joke

[Shyy]

Tell a bad joke, eh? My credit score is <so> low, when I got approved for a car loan, Dodge put "392" on the fender...

 

[Kara Kusa]

tell it to do what, exactly?

 

[Foxridley]

When meal service started on airplanes, the steaks had never been higher.

 

[a sleepy kitty]

What did Spock find in Captain Kirk's toilet?


...The captain's log.

 

[Shyy]

Damn. <that> was Rodney Dangerfield level of bad! Speaking of bad jokes, ever see his wardrobe? Even hobos wouldn't want that stuff.

 

[a sleepy kitty]

A blind man walks into a bar, then regretted the fact that he'd misplaced his walking stick.

 

[Foxridley]

What kind of journal does a beaver keep?
A log book.

 

[Shyy]

>->

 

[a sleepy kitty]

I identify as Michael Jackson... my pronouns are "he/he".

 

[Xitheon]

I got into an argument about speech impediments with an eminent professor of this subject but he kept pulling wank on me.

 

[Foxridley]

I once took a trip from Illinois to Kansas. Halfway through, I got a flat tire. When I got out to get the spare, it started to rain. Then I slipped and cut my hand. I really was in Missouri.

 

[ssaannttoo]

The state of the world.

 

[Faustus]

Ozzy Osbourne's fans became concerned when he fell unconscious halfway through a spirited rendition of 'Crazy Train'.

It's ok, though. He'd just rocked himself to sleep.

 

[Foxridley]

Julius Caesar and Brutus stop by a vending machine. Julius turns and asks, “A-2, Brute?”
Brutus responds, “Yep, same as always.”

 

[a sleepy kitty]

Have you ever seen a hippopotamus hiding in a tree?

No? That means they are really good at it.

 

[Faustus]

You know they're not going to make sausages any longer?

Apparently 12 inches should be enough for anybody.

 

[Xitheon]

Three Russian cartoon characters walk into a bar and it becomes a meme.

 

[Shyy]

Got my annual pay raise.

 

[a sleepy kitty]

Guys help, my house is haunted. The ghost likes to randomly take over my body an he h if xhhxhtjdjmomwaahhelphelp oh mobgfbhelpwwAMWAHAHAHA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!! R as gsggj oh no, he did it again!!! Help me!!!!

 

[Faustus]

Guys help, my house is haunted. The ghost likes to randomly take over my body an he h if xhhxhtjdjmomwaahhelphelp oh mobgfbhelpwwAMWAHAHAHA GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!! R as gsggj oh no, he did it again!!! Help me!!!!

You've been possessed by a dyslexic spirit!
Did you sell your soul to Santa?

 

[Foxridley]

Who was the most sci-fi president?
Ronald Ray Gun.

 

[Marius Merganser]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's okay; he woke up.

 

[FloppyPony]

one of my fav bad jokes...

Danny Dorito X3

 

[Foxridley]

This countertop is gneiss. Don’t take it for granite.

 

[Xitheon]

What do you call a Hobbit who cuts off her husband's penis?

A Bobbitt.